by: tlgirl
Pollution manifested in perpetual sound
The wheels go 'round and the sun creeps past the
Street lamps, chain-link and concrete
A little piece of paper with a picture drawn floats
On down the street till the wind is gone
The memory now is like the picture was then
When the paper's crumpled up it can't be perfect again"
- Linkin Park "Forgotten"
Rating: PG-13
Category: Pacey/Joey
Disclaimer: blah blah blah . . . I don't own anything . . . don't sue me . . . you know the drill.
Note: Set in Season 4 when Pacey left during graduation.
Spoilers: Season Four – Episode #420 "The Graduate"
Feedback: I save every piece of feedback I get. I might not e-mail you back, but rest assure that the 30 seconds you wasted sending me an e-mail about your thoughts, was read and very much appreciated.
I'm on my way to the airport, silently sitting in a cab. I watch the places where the memories that haunt my dreams took place. There's the bend by the road where I kissed you for the first time. And over there is the wall I bought you - now painted a crisp white, like nothing was ever painted there, like the loving strokes of your brush was never felt by the cold brick. The wall looks forgotten and meaningless - just like our relationship.
There was a time when all I could see was you. I was blinded by you. When I thought about the future, you were always there, by my side. But now, what I thought was a perfect relationship has been tainted by your lies. The more you stopped telling me the truth, the angrier I became - though I didn't show it. The angrier I became the more I stopped loving you back. I bottled my feelings up until that night at the prom. For that, I will always regret. Because although I mean every word I said, you didn't deserve that. You deserved a perfect night with the perfect man. But the truth is that I'm every bit as flawed as you are.
I will always love you Jo, don't ever deny or forget that. Your face has been burned into my heart. But love is a two-way deal. I needed you to love me as much as I loved you. My love for you just isn't enough.
As much as I want to look back and catch just one more glimpse of this godforsaken town, I don't; I wont. All I ever wanted was to get out of Capeside. I've always wanted to get away from the fuckin' drama. This is my chance, I can't give it up. Even if it means leaving the most important people in my life behind, even if it means leaving you behind. You said that I can do anything; you made me believe that I wasn't a complete failure. And that glimpse of hope was all I needed, for that I thank you. As I pass by the "Thanks for visiting Capeside" sign, I can't help but feel content, I have a fresh start, a new beginning, and infinite possibilities. Behind me is all the baggage and problems; straight ahead is nothing but an endless road.