Disclaimer: Not mine. Oh well.

A/n: I wrote this in about an hour, so it's weird. It starts in the car, ends in the cabin. Not very difficult. Just read.

//intro//

~~How does he do that? How is he so calm? Does he not KNOW that he will probably never see me again? At least Zack's here, he can keep me under control. God, I never thought I'd be this thankful for my over protective big brother.

This music is so sad. I wonder what it is.~~

(M)"What are we listening to?"

~~Logan looks surprised I said anything. Maybe I should just be quiet-~~

(L)"Sibelius."

(M)"It's sad."

(L)"Yeah."

~~Oh yeah, way to go Max. Now he thinks you're an idiot. Great last impression… last impression. God, I don't want to leave him.~~

//games, changes and fears
when will they go from here
when will they stop
I believe that fame
has brought us here
and we should be together babe
But we're not//

~~I can't believe I've only known him for a few months. I feel like I've known him forever. I wish we could stay in the car, and just keep driving, but I know that won't happen. God, as much as I am glad Zack is here, I wish I could have some time to talk to Logan alone. Like a few more hours. A day. Hell, go for it all. A year.~~

(L)"We're here."

~~Eek.! WE are? We just got in the car. I don't want to leave him. Um… where is Zack going? Ok, I definitely like it better with him in the car.~~

(L)"Here you go."

~~No, Logan, don't give him the key-~~

(Z)"Thanks for helping out."

~~No! Zack, where are you going? Why aren't you being protective and dragging me out of the car?~~

(L) "I'd wish you good luck, but…"

~~Logan, what ARE you saying? He won't get it. To get it requires a sense of humor. That's something my wonderful brother doesn't have.~~

(L) "He's a fun guy."

//I play it off

But I'm dreaming of you babe

I keep my cool but I'm feeling

I try to say goodbye and I choke

Try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it

It's clear

My world crumbles when you are not near

Goodbye and I choke

Try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it

It's clear

My word crumbles when you are not near//

~~Yeah… wait! Is he talking to me? Yes, he's looking at me. Ok, Max, say something-~~

(M) "You should see him get his drink on at the x5 reunions."

~~ Oh, great. Brilliant comment. Wow, this is awkward.~~

(L) "You're going to be okay, you know?"

~~Oh, god, he's so sweet…. I have to leave. I do. Maybe he'll come with me… no. He won't. I hope he'll be fine without me. What am I thinking? Of course he will. Still-~~

(M) "Oh, yeah. I'll be better than okay. It's the way I'm made. It's you I'm worried about."

(L) "I'll miss you."

//I came up here to be free

But I'm just a prisoner

Of your love

And I may seem all right

And smile when you're leave

But my smiles are just up front,

Just up front

Hey,//

~~He'll miss me??? He will? Oh, god. Last resort now.~~
(M) "You could always ditch it all and go on the lam with me. Great way to visit exotic places, meet new people."
~~Wow. That sounded desperate. Oh well, maybe that's what he needs. Anyway, if he says no, then it won't matter.~~

(L) "I'd just slow you down."
~~Ok. That would qualify as saying no. I can't just let him go. But he's right… I don't care. It doesn't matter to Me.~~

(M) "It's okay."

                (L) "I have to go back. Someone has to watch out for the downtrodden. Blah, blah, woof, woof, right?"

                (M) "Right."

                ~~Oh, that was harsh. Don't throw my words back at me! He won't come. God, what am I going to do without him?~~

//I play it off

But I'm dreaming of you babe

I keep my cool but I'm feeling

I try to say goodbye and I choke

Try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it

It's clear

My world crumbles when you are not near

Goodbye and I choke

Try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it

It's clear

My word crumbles when you are not near//

(L) "Take care of yourself."
~~I'm leaving. I am leaving. I've done it before, it was never this hard. Turn. Walk. Open door. Leave. Not a hard concept.~~
(M) "You, too."
~~Why am I not moving? This is bad. I should be moving. Ok, moving. God, this hurts. I don't want to leave him. Ok, don't think. Just walk for the door.~~

//Here is my confession

May I be your possession

Boy I need your touch

Your love, kisses, and such

With all my mind I try

But this I can't deny

Deny//


                ~~OK, there is no way I am letting him stay that easily. What am I doing- Oh god. I'm kissing him. I'm kissing him. Wait- he's kissing me! HE'S KISSING ME! Ok, stop. Max, stop. Oh god. Ok, bad idea. Kiss.~~

                (L) "Just go."

                ~~Go? Excuse me? Going is not an option. But I don't want to hurt him, and he'll get hurt if I stay. I don't want to want him this much- I've never needed anyone like this. It's so scary. No, it's a thrill. But I need to go.~~

//I play it off

But I'm dreaming of you babe

I keep my cool but I'm feeling

I try to say goodbye and I choke

Try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it

It's clear

My world crumbles when you are not near

Goodbye and I choke

Try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it

It's clear

My word crumbles when you are not near//

                ~~I can NOT believe I did that. What was I thinking? And I'll never see him again. So it doesn't matter. So why can't I get him off my mind? Before I could just block it out. Now my wall, my little blockade to keep me sane, is permanently stuck open. And I will go insane, no doubt. The feeling of kissing him… not helping. I can't get him out of my mind. His smile, his laugh, his eyes. Oh, wow, his eyes. Why did I leave him?

//goodbye and I choke

Try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it

It's clear

My word crumbles when you are not near

Goodbye and I choke

Try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it

It's clear

My word crumbles when you are not near

yeah yeah yeah

yeah yeah//

                ~~It's all Manticore's fault. And Lydecker's. Why did they do this to me? I think I must have been made to be miserable. But mostly it's mine. I opened up to Logan, despite knowing that emotions are weakness. How can a man I just met do this? No one has ever done it before. My wall, so well build, piece by piece has been shattered. And until I can clean it up, I will have to learn to step carefully to avoid being cut be the shards.