This was my first-ever Dark Angel fic.
It's all not mine, duh. Nothing here is.
It's not really a song fic as much as inspired by the song.
Here is the song:
Hey man, don't look so scared, you know I'm only testin you out, Hey man, don't look so angry, you're real close to figuring me out. We are a part of a circle, it's like a mobius strip, and it goes round and round until it looses a link. And there's a shadow in the shy, and it looks like rain, and shit is gonna fly again. Hey man, we look at each other with ample eyes, I am so tired of mirrors- pour me a glass of your wine! And there's a shadow in the sky, and it looks like rain, and shit is gonna fly once again. I've got a bunch of government cheques at my door. Each morning I try to send them back but they only send me more. I look at myself in the mirror; Am I vital today? Hey man, I let my conscience get in the way! And there's a shadow in the sky, and it looks like rain, and shit is gonna fly once again, and I don't mean to rain on your parade, but pathos has got me once again, and I don't want ambivalence no more, I don't want ambivalence no more, I don't want ambivalence no more, no, I don't want ambivalence no more!
***
Max grimaced. Original Cindy was driving her insane, with more crap about Logan.
"Boo, listen, you know Logan and I are-"
"Just friends. So you say. But you can't fool Original Cindy. I know how nuts you were going when you had that Manticore bug. Admit it, you like him."
"Of course I do! He right up there with you, he's my second best boo!"
"Max, hun, you are getting confused. Boo and Boy are two different things, and when you talk about Logan your face shows Original Cindy just how much you lo-"
Max's beeper went off just at that second, cutting Original Cindy off. 'Thank god' thought Max. 'I don't think I could take hearing the rest of that sentence!'
Original Cindy grinned knowingly as Max shrugged, noting the relief flooding her best boo's face. Max turned, waved goodbye to Normal, making sure he knew she was leaving, and she hopped on her baby, and shot off towards Foggle Towers.
Max walked up the stairs to Logan's apartment, but as she raised her hand to knock, she stopped and grinned. She reached to get her trusty lock picking kit that she never went anywhere without and silently entered his apartment. She walked in and smelt the familiar aroma of Logan's brilliant cooking. She walked into the kitchen, leaning against the doorway. She took the moment to look at how wonderful he looked standing, how cute his… she cut herself off at that thought. 'Max, don't go there. You know he doesn't think of you like that.'
Logan suddenly got the odd feeling of being watched. He knew it was Max, because he could sense her presence in a room. He grinned and waited for her to make her presence known.
"Knock knock," Max finally said.
"Well, hello there, how are you?" Logan replied, not jumping as she expected, but continuing to stir whatever was on the stove.
Max grinned and walked up to him, tracing her fingertips up and down his back. "Logan, you are brilliant. You saved me from Original Cindy." Sensing his confusion, Max smiled.
"Whatever you say, Max." Logan silently told himself that Max was just a friend. She said so herself. And that the fact that she was standing directly behind him should not have any affect on him at all. After all, she never made any move to get farther into their friendly relationship, even after she was cured. Hell, they never talked about the kiss that they had shared when Max first returned.
Max fought with herself about Logan; she wanted to kiss him, but she didn't want to take any chances. One day, about a month after she had returned, she had had a terrible seizure. Logan and Original Cindy had taken her to a specialist. Dr. Delton had escaped from Manticore after she had found out what they were really doing, apparently, and therefore had the experience to help Max. Dr. Delton had done what they couldn't dream of- she had changed Max's DNA so the seizures didn't happen. When Dr. Delton had learned of Max and Logan's problem, she had an idea. She changed Logan's junk DNA a bit… just enough so he could touch Max without getting the disease. She had given Max a vial of the antidote Dr. Delton had created, just in case. However, Dr. Delton had been killed in a terrorist attack on the hospital she was in, and Max was terrified to do anything intimate with Logan, for fear of infecting him again. Now she was able to touch him, but kissing or anything past that, was, in her mind, out of the question.
And as Max was thinking this, telling herself to control herself, to not even go there in her mind, she stared at Logan's back, all of three inches from her front. Then Logan turned around.
***
Original Cindy stood talking to the group at Crash, complaining about Max and Logan. Max loved him so much she couldn't kiss him from fear, and refused to see how much Logan cared; and Logan loved Max but thought she didn't love him from the distance Max was painfully keeping herself at. Original Cindy shook her head. 'My boo is nuts. My boo's boy is nuts. Those two need help.'
***
Max stopped dead as Logan turned quickly around, reaching for a wooden spoon behind her. 'Shit.' She thought, hold herself perfectly still. 'How the hell does Logan do this to me?'
Logan silently beat himself up for forgetting she was right behind him. He quickly grabbed the spoon and spun around, the image or Max's face burned into his mind. The look of a deer caught in the headlights, frozen with fear, pure vulnerability. 'Damn.' He thought to himself. 'That goes to show you how much a idiot you are to like her like that. She just wants to be friends. She-' and with thought, Logan's mind went blank.
Max had been beating herself up for not doing something, for standing so close, for everything in general that did not require the acceptance of how close she had been to kissing him. That didn't make her face the fact that she actually was mad at herself for not telling him how much she liked him. She knew he loved her at one point, had wanted to be more than friends. But before she was captured, she had refused to admit it, and after she just didn't have the heart to tell him otherwise… after the kiss he had given her when she came back… the kiss that had revealed their feelings. They never spoke of that kiss. Max mentally kicked herself. 'Even if he does… LIKE you,' she began to herself, not able to say love, 'Now he loves you like a sister. That's why you cant l… l… love…' Max was shocked at that word when it flew to her mind. She wondered whether it was appropriate. And it was. So she wrapped her arms around his waist, and noting how perfect it felt, kissed his shoulder through the thin cotton of his shirt.
Logan slowly unfroze, and turned around very slowly, for fear he was dreaming, and fear of waking up. He saw Max's face, shocked at what she had done, maybe more shocked that he was. He started to say… something. Now that he thought about it, he had no clue what to say. So he bent down to kiss her- but she was gone.
***
Max cursed herself for running. And kissing him. 'What the hell were you thinking? Why the hell did you do that?' Max groaned and mentally smacked herself. 'I to talk to someone… Original Cindy!' Max did a quick 180 and shot off toward Crash, where she knew her best friend would be.
***
Max pulled into the lot at Crash, and locked up her bike. She walked into the not-so-famous bar, and automatically picked out her friends voices. As she walked over, her advanced hearing picked up their conversation.
"...and Mr. Money bags hook up by next week." Cindy stated.
Sketchy shook his head. "No, girl, those two…" He trailed off as he saw Max standing behind Original Cindy. "Will most definitely win the foosball tournament tonight." He grinned lamely and gestured to the tables. Herbal saw the confusion on Original Cindy's face.
"Hi, Max." He said pointedly.
Original Cindy Turned around to see Max standing behind her. "Hey sugga…" she trailed off as she saw the faint panic flooding Max's eyes. She turned to the boys. "We'll be right back… don't get arrested." And with that, she dragged Max to a quieter corner of Crash.
Original Cindy sat Max down on a couch in the dark corner she had found that was 'unused'. "So, sugga, tell Original Cindy what is up with you." She said bluntly.
Max didn't even try to deny it; she turned to Cindy and spilled. "Logan- and-I-were-in-his-kitchen-and-I-was-standing-behind-him-and-then-he-turned- around-and-I-felt-like-kissing-him-for-some-reason-so-when-he-turned-back- to-the-stove-I-did-and-now-he-hates-me-and-I-totally-blew-it!" she said loudly.
Original Cindy stared at Max in shock, but as Max neared tears even more, Original Cindy hugged her best friend. "Honey, how do you know Logan hates you? Did he say that?" Original Cindy frowned. "If he said anything Original Cindy will hurt that boy, boo."
Max shook her head, looking down. "He didn't—I mean—I just know. I mean, he just stared at me. In total shock. And-"
Original Cindy cut her off. "Why did you kiss him?"
"I don't know!"
"Sugga, Original Cindy doesn't believe a word of that. Do you love him?"
"Cindy! No. Hormone attack or somethin. He's just a friend."
"Girl, you can't fool Original Cindy. If you don't love him, and he don't love you, how did you think he would react?"
Max looked up. Original Cindy gasped quietly. Max's eyes were filled with tears. "I don't know," she said quietly, beginning to sob. Suddenly her beeper went off.
Original Cindy grinned to herself, despite the shock of seeing her friend- who believed that showing emotion was not acceptable-in tears. "OK, Max, so if he hates you, why is he blowin up your pager?"
Max pulled her pager off her belt and handed it to Original Cindy without even looking at the number. "Call him. Tell him I don't want to talk to him. He just want to say that it was a mistake, that he thought we were just friends… he wants to hear me blame hormones or something so he can go back to using me for legwork."
***
Original Cindy looked at the pager in her hand, and at the number. It was Logan's, of course. "Boo, you sit tight. Original Cindy will go talk to the boy. Don't worry, it'll be aiight." She walked to the phone any pushed the numbers on the pager. It rang, and on the second ring, someone picked up.
"MAX?" someone asked.
"No, this is Original Cindy."
"I need to talk to Max."
"Logan, no-" Original Cindy replied, annoyed.
"What?" a very confused voice answered. "This is Bling. Logan got hurt."
Original Cindy punched the wall, annoyed. "What do you mean, 'hurt'? Like, in the hospital hurt? Please tell Original Cindy that's not what you mean," she said. 'Please say no, please say no, please say no-'
"Yes."
"Shit. Where?
"Mercy Columbine Hospital."
"How? What happened?"
"He apparently ran out for some reason, looking for Max or something, and got hit by a stupid idiot driving a car drunk."
"Shit. Ok. We'll be there in 20." Original Cindy hung up the phone and walked over to were Max sat, huddled in a corner. "Max, we have to go. Can you drive us to Mercy Columbine Hospital?" Cindy asked.
Max looked up sharply. Original Cindy noted how Max's sadness had changed to a hard, cold look. "WHY would we need to go to Mercy Columbine Hospital, Cindy?" she said in a very quiet yet deadly voice. "I do not want to go to Mercy Columbine Hospital, Cindy. I would like to stay in this spot." Max's face was void of emotion, perfectly blank.
Cindy just shook her head. "Original Cindy will tell you when we get there. Can you drive? Your baby will get us there fastest, and you know I don't do well on that thing." She stated. Max glared at Original Cindy but nodded, and headed out to the parking lot.
As they pulled into the parking area of the hospital, Max turned to Cindy expectantly, face still calmly blank. Original Cindy shook her head once more. "Inside." She directed.
***
As Max and Original Cindy walked into the hospital Max turned to Cindy, and put a hand on her shoulder, tightening her grip slightly. Max tried to calm herself down. 'Ok, Max, calm down. Cindy is your friend. You do not want to hurt her.' Max turned to Cindy.
"Ok, Cindy, here we are. In Mercy Columbine Hospital. No, I would like to inform you that I do not like hospitals. And I am getting bitchier by the moment. Please tell me why we are here." She said.
"Max, boo, I think you should sit down." Original Cindy started.
"NO, Cindy, just tell me."
"Logan," was all Cindy could bring herself to say.
Max felt herself start to wobble. "Logan sent us here, right? He wanted me to get a file, right? He not… he's not…" she sat down on the floor, hard, and looked at Cindy.
"Max, honey, Logan was in a car accident. He rushed out of his apartment, and a drunk driver didn't see him…" Cindy couldn't bring herself to continue. Instead, she knelt by Max, wrapping her in a hug.
Max let herself go. Her mind turned blank, she just sat there, in Cindy's embrace, until Cindy moved away. Max stood up, eyes stinging with tears she would not let herself cry, and walked to the front desk. She turned to the nurse, and her face hardened.
"Cale. Logan Cale. Car accident, this afternoon. Is he on record?"
Max noticed how the nurse seemed to debate with whether or not to tell her, seeming to wonder if this professional woman was a doctor, and wondering what would happen if she refused to tell this woman anything. Max felt a slightly cynical smirk growing on her face. 'Well well well, Manticore has its uses after all.'
The nurse sighed, ending her internal battle. "Well, you must be Doctor Hart. Can I see your ID…" She trailed off, seeing the look on Max's face. "Never mind. Your patient is in room 309, ICU." She ended nervously.
Max felt her heart stop. ICU. That sounded bad. Max forced herself to smile. "Thank you," she said. Max turned and walk briskly to where Cindy was emerging from a rest room. She grabbed Original Cindy's arm and pulled her to the doors to the inner part of the hospital.
"Max, where are you taking Original Cindy?" Cindy asked, sounding scared.
Max turned to her, her gaze hard once more. "Room 309, according to the nurse. He's in ICU. What is ICU, Cindy?"
Max continued her brisk walk in the direction the arrow on the wall pointed. She heard Cindy stop and gasp.
"Max, ICU means it's bad. ICU is the intensive care unit."
Max broke into a run, bursting into Manticore's fastest sprint, not caring who saw her, with only one thought. 'Shit. I killed him.'
Max sprinted to the end of the hall, looked at the numbers on the wall, and turned right. She walked halfway down the corridor, and stopped in front of a door. She glanced at the sign outside the door, and walked in.
***
She gasped as she saw Logan lying on a hospital bed, skin white and cuts blood red. He lay there, eyes closed, breathing soft but clearly labored, despite the many machines he was hooked too. Max shook away the thoughts of Zach, and how he had looked when Renfro had shown him to her. 'Damn, Logan. I'm sorry. Fuck, what did I do to you?' Max felt the tears building up behind her eyes. She turned away from him, and let loose. She sat curled up in a corner, silently, thinking about Logan. 'Girl, what are you going to do without him? You love him… he saved you so many times.' Max didn't know how long she lay there, thinking, but soon a doctor came in.
Max turned around, and saw a young woman, about 20, plain but pretty, standing in front of Logan's bed. The woman turned around, sensing Max.
"Excuse me, I don't mean to intrude. I'm Dr. Latasha. May I ask how you know Mr. Cale? Girlfriend, sister, wife…" Dr. Latasha trailed off, waiting for an answer.
Max faltered, unsure how to act around this woman. "Um… I am Max. I'm his friend-"
Dr. Latasha cut her off. "Max? Oh, so YOU'RE Max. When Mr. Cale came in, he was said that we had to tell his dark angel, Max, his message. Wouldn't stop babbling about it. We had to drug him to get him to calm down!" Max gulped. Logan wanted to tell her he didn't like her like that, and that she should go. Dr. Latasha, not seeing Max's hesitation from her position at the machines, continued. "He says you shouldn't have run." Dr. Latasha smiled at her, the light eyes revealing that she knew more then she let on. Suddenly the doctor turned back to business. "Now, you really should not be in here. But I'm done, and I'm going to leave, and pretend I didn't see you. Machine checks are every half hour… Next time I wont be so nice."
Max blinked. She hadn't been expecting that. She was expecting a lecture and then being sent back to the waiting room. Before she could thank the doctor, the young woman was gone. Max pulled herself together and turned to the pale man lying on the bed in the center of the room.
At the sight of him, she lost it again. "Logan. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. This is all my fault… all my fault…" Max trailed off, and curled up on the floor against his bed. She let the tears flood and sobs wracked her body.
***
Logan lay in the small white hospital bed, groggy from the pills, but anxious for some reason. His tired brain could only process one thought at a time. His first thought, of course, was, 'Damn. I hurt like hell." Logan shifted painfully in the little bed. He groaned. He closed his eyes, and moments later felt a cool hand on his forehead, then running through his hair and tracing down his face to end on his lips. He groggily looked up at the blurry dark figure above him. "Mom?" he said in a little voice.
Max looked down at him, the man she hours before had feared would break her heart. His little groan of pain had woken her from her light sleep. She smiled down at the man she loved, but it was a sad smile because he seemed so little and vulnerable. She had never seen him without his 'Super Cale/Eyes Only out to save the world' protective wall.
"No, Logan, its Max." The words were softly spoken but rattled around in Logan's head. It took a few seconds for them to register.
"Maxie?" he asked, sounding like a little boy.
"Yeah, Logan, I'm here. I have to go, but I'll be back really soon. The nurses don't want me in here. I'll see you later, OK?" Max was unsure if she should go, but she knew that if she stayed longer, she wouldn't be able to leave him alone in this room. As she turned to go, Logan called out quietly, voice muffled by dreary pain.
"Max. Fuck da nurses. I needs ta talk to you."
Max couldn't help but smile at his wording, the drugs clearly affecting his normal editing of his language, despite her fear of what he would say. "Fine, Mr. Cale. What do you want to say?"
Logan attempted to smile. "You shouldn't… have…" he was cut off by a yawn.
Max took the interruption gladly and quickly intervened. "Logan. You need to sleep and get better, okay? Do it for me. Please." As she turned to leave, she didn't hear him attempt to finish his thought…
"Maxie… you didn't gotsta run."
But as he finished this proclamation, Max was already gone, and he fell asleep once more.
***
When Logan awoke, it took him a few moments to figure out he was moving forward. Either that or he was really, really drugged. But he felt much more aware, and upon further inspection promptly realized that he was missing his glasses. As he struggled to see what was happening, a perky nurse popped out from behind him.
"Hi! Well, Mr. Cale, how do you feel?" She asked brightly. Logan groaned quietly. 'What did I do to deserve this?' he asked himself, while out loud saying,
"I just got run over. 3 guesses on how I feel."
-|a/n: I actually had a nurse like this. I was seven and they thought I had appendicitis, and so when this perky nurse woke me up to take my vitals at three in the morning, and I bit her head off. Actually, my mom says I said, 'I'm sick! Don't you know I need my sleep!' and promptly feel back to sleep.|-
The perky nurse just smiled. "Well, you'll be up and at 'em soon enough! So smile, it'll make the time hurry up. Now, there is a very nice lady waiting for outside your room…"
Logan brightened considerably at the thought of Max. Suddenly, something occurred to him. "My room?" he asked.
The nurse smiled. "Of course! You're doing well enough we decided to take you out of ICU. Isn't that lovely?"
Logan scowled. "Just grand." He replied, but the sarcasm was lost on the nurse.
Max sat in the corner of the waiting room, huddled up against the wall. Original Cindy had popped out a few minutes ago, promising to return as soon as she could. Max sniffled, her Manticore genes not able to hold out against these emotions. Max thought back to Zack. 'He always said emotion was weakness… I guess he was right. I shouldn't be here. I should leave. Hospitals are government. For all I know the nurse called the police. Lydecker could be on his way over. I should leave.' Max unconsciously frowned at these thought, her beautiful face scrunched up in pain for Logan.
Original Cindy walked into the cold waiting room, carrying two styrofoam cups of coffee. She walked up to Max, and sighed as she looked down at her.
"Max? Kay, look up, boo. I have coffee…" Original Cindy trailed off and pushed the hot cup into Max's hands. Max looked up, and Original Cindy saw how red her eyes were.
"OK, boo. I'm gonna tell you something that will make you very happy to hear, but first you gotta answer one of my questions, aiight boo?" Original Cindy looked down at her suddenly aware best friend.
"Fine, Cindy; is it about Logan?" She asked.
"Just wait. Ok, Max. So, fill me in here. You tell Original Cindy you don't love Logan—and that's fine with her if it gets ya through the day-- but she comes back and here you are, in a hospital waiting room. Hell, you're waiting on the floor for him. And crying. So, tell me, hun, what's going on here that you aren't telling Original Cindy?"
Max took a sharp breath; as if something scary that had loomed in the dark corners of her life had just stepped into the light. "Fine, Cindy. I love him, aiight? I love him, and I can't do a fucking thing about it. I wasn't made to love. I'm not supposed to. I'll just end up killing him."
Max stood up and walked away. Original Cindy ran to catch her friend and hugged her. 'Well, at least she admitted it to herself. That's a start,' Original Cindy smiled at that thought, but jumped when Max poked her and demanded,
"Info on Logan?"
Original Cindy laughed. "Max, I heard he's out of ICU." Max jumped away from Cindy's embrace, rubbed her eyes and started to head to the nurses station.
"Max, WAIT! I saw him. He's just down the hall. No need to scare the nurses again, boo."
Max grinned sheepishly. "Right. But it's so much fun…" she trailed off.
***
Logan sat in his bed, waiting impatiently for Max to come in. The nurse had said she was coming. He hoped she would, be couldn't wait to see her, and clear up the misunderstanding before.
Logan smiled as he heard footsteps echoing through the halls. The dark haired beauty looked in. "Logan?" she asked uncertainly. He struggled to sit up and then smiled at her. "Hey, Max."
Max smiled back. "Hey. How are you feeling?"
He smirked. "Like I got run over."
Max laughed lightly and walked over to him. "Very funny, Logan. You scared the hell out of me." She chided, her voice cracking and betraying her bright smile.
Logan looked closer at her and saw the redness of her eyes, the sign of tears that had, just recently, fallen. "Hey," he started gently. "I'm sorry. Come here."
Max walked right to the side of his bed, and sniffled. "What?"
He reached out and grabbed her waist. "I'm really sorry, Max. I didn't mean to scare you." He said as he guided her to sit on the bed.
Max shuddered involuntarily at he touch. "I know," she whispered. "But…"
"You blamed yourself."
Max nodded violently. "I shouldn't have surprised you. I should have known better." A single tear ran down her cheek.
Logan reached up and wiped it away. "Max, that was the best surprise you could have given me. You just shouldn't have run."
Max looked down. "I'm sorry." More tears fell.
Logan smiled. "Max," he started, "You'd better stop crying or your going to get me wet."
Max smiled weakly at him through her tears. She grabbed a tissue off his bed stand and wiped her eyes. "I'm just…"
Logan shut her up with a finger to her lips. He then took both her hands in his. "Max." he stated, pausing. He raised one hand to his lips, kissing it.
Max took a deep breath, amazed at how much of an effect his simple gesture had on her. "Logan…" she murmured, pulling her hand away from his face. She replaced the area almost immediately, however.
Max leaned in and kissed him on the lips. Logan began to kiss her back, but as she shifted he pulled away and gasped. Max froze. "I'm sorry, Logan, I didn't mean-"
Logan chuckled. "Max, no. It's just that I was in a car accident, so I'm a little sore."
Max laughed as well. Logan reached out, taking her face in his hands, and pulled her to him again.
Moments later they broke apart, out of breath and dazed. "Wow." Max sighed.
Logan laughed quietly. He leaned back against the pillows. "Oh yeah." He agreed.
Max looked at him. She carefully adjusted herself so that she was lying next to him, half on-half off the bed. The only thing keeping her there was her Manticore balance. Logan wrapped and arm around her, helping her stay there. He leaned forward and gently met her lips again, a much different, softer, more dreamlike kiss than the passionate one moments before.
He pulled away quickly, before Max could really react. "Max," he whispered, the drugs having worn off enough to let him have a conversation but not as much as necessary to make him completely coherent. Added to that was Max's close proximity, her smell overwhelming him, plus the heat radiating from both; all in all he was teetering dangerously near the edge of madness. And then, as she smiled softly, he fell off the edge. "I love you."
While in his mind he began to scream as he realized exactly what he had said and the peril he was in—as was Max, chances being that she would fall off the bed—she did not pause. Instead she smiled wider and leaned in towards him. As he went to capture her in another kiss, assuming she couldn't say the words, she pulled away. He stopped, confused. Her smile faded as she looked at him seriously.
"I love you too."
Logan, instead, took the role of freezing. He stared at her, not comprehending, totally and completely in shock. Max put her face near his, as near as she could get without kissing him, and whispered against his lips. "What's a girl gotta do to get a kiss from the guy she loves?"
Logan blinked twice rapidly and then closed his eyes. Sensing his shock Max took over. She moved the necessary millimeter and pressed her lips to his, trying to stimulate a response.
Logan, while still having quite a foggy understanding of the circumstances, had a body with a mind of it's own. As he began to kiss her again, his brain gave up.
Again, they both emerged for air after a long moment. In unison, they smirked and spoke.
"Don't you ever do that again!"
It's all not mine, duh. Nothing here is.
It's not really a song fic as much as inspired by the song.
Here is the song:
Hey man, don't look so scared, you know I'm only testin you out, Hey man, don't look so angry, you're real close to figuring me out. We are a part of a circle, it's like a mobius strip, and it goes round and round until it looses a link. And there's a shadow in the shy, and it looks like rain, and shit is gonna fly again. Hey man, we look at each other with ample eyes, I am so tired of mirrors- pour me a glass of your wine! And there's a shadow in the sky, and it looks like rain, and shit is gonna fly once again. I've got a bunch of government cheques at my door. Each morning I try to send them back but they only send me more. I look at myself in the mirror; Am I vital today? Hey man, I let my conscience get in the way! And there's a shadow in the sky, and it looks like rain, and shit is gonna fly once again, and I don't mean to rain on your parade, but pathos has got me once again, and I don't want ambivalence no more, I don't want ambivalence no more, I don't want ambivalence no more, no, I don't want ambivalence no more!
***
Max grimaced. Original Cindy was driving her insane, with more crap about Logan.
"Boo, listen, you know Logan and I are-"
"Just friends. So you say. But you can't fool Original Cindy. I know how nuts you were going when you had that Manticore bug. Admit it, you like him."
"Of course I do! He right up there with you, he's my second best boo!"
"Max, hun, you are getting confused. Boo and Boy are two different things, and when you talk about Logan your face shows Original Cindy just how much you lo-"
Max's beeper went off just at that second, cutting Original Cindy off. 'Thank god' thought Max. 'I don't think I could take hearing the rest of that sentence!'
Original Cindy grinned knowingly as Max shrugged, noting the relief flooding her best boo's face. Max turned, waved goodbye to Normal, making sure he knew she was leaving, and she hopped on her baby, and shot off towards Foggle Towers.
Max walked up the stairs to Logan's apartment, but as she raised her hand to knock, she stopped and grinned. She reached to get her trusty lock picking kit that she never went anywhere without and silently entered his apartment. She walked in and smelt the familiar aroma of Logan's brilliant cooking. She walked into the kitchen, leaning against the doorway. She took the moment to look at how wonderful he looked standing, how cute his… she cut herself off at that thought. 'Max, don't go there. You know he doesn't think of you like that.'
Logan suddenly got the odd feeling of being watched. He knew it was Max, because he could sense her presence in a room. He grinned and waited for her to make her presence known.
"Knock knock," Max finally said.
"Well, hello there, how are you?" Logan replied, not jumping as she expected, but continuing to stir whatever was on the stove.
Max grinned and walked up to him, tracing her fingertips up and down his back. "Logan, you are brilliant. You saved me from Original Cindy." Sensing his confusion, Max smiled.
"Whatever you say, Max." Logan silently told himself that Max was just a friend. She said so herself. And that the fact that she was standing directly behind him should not have any affect on him at all. After all, she never made any move to get farther into their friendly relationship, even after she was cured. Hell, they never talked about the kiss that they had shared when Max first returned.
Max fought with herself about Logan; she wanted to kiss him, but she didn't want to take any chances. One day, about a month after she had returned, she had had a terrible seizure. Logan and Original Cindy had taken her to a specialist. Dr. Delton had escaped from Manticore after she had found out what they were really doing, apparently, and therefore had the experience to help Max. Dr. Delton had done what they couldn't dream of- she had changed Max's DNA so the seizures didn't happen. When Dr. Delton had learned of Max and Logan's problem, she had an idea. She changed Logan's junk DNA a bit… just enough so he could touch Max without getting the disease. She had given Max a vial of the antidote Dr. Delton had created, just in case. However, Dr. Delton had been killed in a terrorist attack on the hospital she was in, and Max was terrified to do anything intimate with Logan, for fear of infecting him again. Now she was able to touch him, but kissing or anything past that, was, in her mind, out of the question.
And as Max was thinking this, telling herself to control herself, to not even go there in her mind, she stared at Logan's back, all of three inches from her front. Then Logan turned around.
***
Original Cindy stood talking to the group at Crash, complaining about Max and Logan. Max loved him so much she couldn't kiss him from fear, and refused to see how much Logan cared; and Logan loved Max but thought she didn't love him from the distance Max was painfully keeping herself at. Original Cindy shook her head. 'My boo is nuts. My boo's boy is nuts. Those two need help.'
***
Max stopped dead as Logan turned quickly around, reaching for a wooden spoon behind her. 'Shit.' She thought, hold herself perfectly still. 'How the hell does Logan do this to me?'
Logan silently beat himself up for forgetting she was right behind him. He quickly grabbed the spoon and spun around, the image or Max's face burned into his mind. The look of a deer caught in the headlights, frozen with fear, pure vulnerability. 'Damn.' He thought to himself. 'That goes to show you how much a idiot you are to like her like that. She just wants to be friends. She-' and with thought, Logan's mind went blank.
Max had been beating herself up for not doing something, for standing so close, for everything in general that did not require the acceptance of how close she had been to kissing him. That didn't make her face the fact that she actually was mad at herself for not telling him how much she liked him. She knew he loved her at one point, had wanted to be more than friends. But before she was captured, she had refused to admit it, and after she just didn't have the heart to tell him otherwise… after the kiss he had given her when she came back… the kiss that had revealed their feelings. They never spoke of that kiss. Max mentally kicked herself. 'Even if he does… LIKE you,' she began to herself, not able to say love, 'Now he loves you like a sister. That's why you cant l… l… love…' Max was shocked at that word when it flew to her mind. She wondered whether it was appropriate. And it was. So she wrapped her arms around his waist, and noting how perfect it felt, kissed his shoulder through the thin cotton of his shirt.
Logan slowly unfroze, and turned around very slowly, for fear he was dreaming, and fear of waking up. He saw Max's face, shocked at what she had done, maybe more shocked that he was. He started to say… something. Now that he thought about it, he had no clue what to say. So he bent down to kiss her- but she was gone.
***
Max cursed herself for running. And kissing him. 'What the hell were you thinking? Why the hell did you do that?' Max groaned and mentally smacked herself. 'I to talk to someone… Original Cindy!' Max did a quick 180 and shot off toward Crash, where she knew her best friend would be.
***
Max pulled into the lot at Crash, and locked up her bike. She walked into the not-so-famous bar, and automatically picked out her friends voices. As she walked over, her advanced hearing picked up their conversation.
"...and Mr. Money bags hook up by next week." Cindy stated.
Sketchy shook his head. "No, girl, those two…" He trailed off as he saw Max standing behind Original Cindy. "Will most definitely win the foosball tournament tonight." He grinned lamely and gestured to the tables. Herbal saw the confusion on Original Cindy's face.
"Hi, Max." He said pointedly.
Original Cindy Turned around to see Max standing behind her. "Hey sugga…" she trailed off as she saw the faint panic flooding Max's eyes. She turned to the boys. "We'll be right back… don't get arrested." And with that, she dragged Max to a quieter corner of Crash.
Original Cindy sat Max down on a couch in the dark corner she had found that was 'unused'. "So, sugga, tell Original Cindy what is up with you." She said bluntly.
Max didn't even try to deny it; she turned to Cindy and spilled. "Logan- and-I-were-in-his-kitchen-and-I-was-standing-behind-him-and-then-he-turned- around-and-I-felt-like-kissing-him-for-some-reason-so-when-he-turned-back- to-the-stove-I-did-and-now-he-hates-me-and-I-totally-blew-it!" she said loudly.
Original Cindy stared at Max in shock, but as Max neared tears even more, Original Cindy hugged her best friend. "Honey, how do you know Logan hates you? Did he say that?" Original Cindy frowned. "If he said anything Original Cindy will hurt that boy, boo."
Max shook her head, looking down. "He didn't—I mean—I just know. I mean, he just stared at me. In total shock. And-"
Original Cindy cut her off. "Why did you kiss him?"
"I don't know!"
"Sugga, Original Cindy doesn't believe a word of that. Do you love him?"
"Cindy! No. Hormone attack or somethin. He's just a friend."
"Girl, you can't fool Original Cindy. If you don't love him, and he don't love you, how did you think he would react?"
Max looked up. Original Cindy gasped quietly. Max's eyes were filled with tears. "I don't know," she said quietly, beginning to sob. Suddenly her beeper went off.
Original Cindy grinned to herself, despite the shock of seeing her friend- who believed that showing emotion was not acceptable-in tears. "OK, Max, so if he hates you, why is he blowin up your pager?"
Max pulled her pager off her belt and handed it to Original Cindy without even looking at the number. "Call him. Tell him I don't want to talk to him. He just want to say that it was a mistake, that he thought we were just friends… he wants to hear me blame hormones or something so he can go back to using me for legwork."
***
Original Cindy looked at the pager in her hand, and at the number. It was Logan's, of course. "Boo, you sit tight. Original Cindy will go talk to the boy. Don't worry, it'll be aiight." She walked to the phone any pushed the numbers on the pager. It rang, and on the second ring, someone picked up.
"MAX?" someone asked.
"No, this is Original Cindy."
"I need to talk to Max."
"Logan, no-" Original Cindy replied, annoyed.
"What?" a very confused voice answered. "This is Bling. Logan got hurt."
Original Cindy punched the wall, annoyed. "What do you mean, 'hurt'? Like, in the hospital hurt? Please tell Original Cindy that's not what you mean," she said. 'Please say no, please say no, please say no-'
"Yes."
"Shit. Where?
"Mercy Columbine Hospital."
"How? What happened?"
"He apparently ran out for some reason, looking for Max or something, and got hit by a stupid idiot driving a car drunk."
"Shit. Ok. We'll be there in 20." Original Cindy hung up the phone and walked over to were Max sat, huddled in a corner. "Max, we have to go. Can you drive us to Mercy Columbine Hospital?" Cindy asked.
Max looked up sharply. Original Cindy noted how Max's sadness had changed to a hard, cold look. "WHY would we need to go to Mercy Columbine Hospital, Cindy?" she said in a very quiet yet deadly voice. "I do not want to go to Mercy Columbine Hospital, Cindy. I would like to stay in this spot." Max's face was void of emotion, perfectly blank.
Cindy just shook her head. "Original Cindy will tell you when we get there. Can you drive? Your baby will get us there fastest, and you know I don't do well on that thing." She stated. Max glared at Original Cindy but nodded, and headed out to the parking lot.
As they pulled into the parking area of the hospital, Max turned to Cindy expectantly, face still calmly blank. Original Cindy shook her head once more. "Inside." She directed.
***
As Max and Original Cindy walked into the hospital Max turned to Cindy, and put a hand on her shoulder, tightening her grip slightly. Max tried to calm herself down. 'Ok, Max, calm down. Cindy is your friend. You do not want to hurt her.' Max turned to Cindy.
"Ok, Cindy, here we are. In Mercy Columbine Hospital. No, I would like to inform you that I do not like hospitals. And I am getting bitchier by the moment. Please tell me why we are here." She said.
"Max, boo, I think you should sit down." Original Cindy started.
"NO, Cindy, just tell me."
"Logan," was all Cindy could bring herself to say.
Max felt herself start to wobble. "Logan sent us here, right? He wanted me to get a file, right? He not… he's not…" she sat down on the floor, hard, and looked at Cindy.
"Max, honey, Logan was in a car accident. He rushed out of his apartment, and a drunk driver didn't see him…" Cindy couldn't bring herself to continue. Instead, she knelt by Max, wrapping her in a hug.
Max let herself go. Her mind turned blank, she just sat there, in Cindy's embrace, until Cindy moved away. Max stood up, eyes stinging with tears she would not let herself cry, and walked to the front desk. She turned to the nurse, and her face hardened.
"Cale. Logan Cale. Car accident, this afternoon. Is he on record?"
Max noticed how the nurse seemed to debate with whether or not to tell her, seeming to wonder if this professional woman was a doctor, and wondering what would happen if she refused to tell this woman anything. Max felt a slightly cynical smirk growing on her face. 'Well well well, Manticore has its uses after all.'
The nurse sighed, ending her internal battle. "Well, you must be Doctor Hart. Can I see your ID…" She trailed off, seeing the look on Max's face. "Never mind. Your patient is in room 309, ICU." She ended nervously.
Max felt her heart stop. ICU. That sounded bad. Max forced herself to smile. "Thank you," she said. Max turned and walk briskly to where Cindy was emerging from a rest room. She grabbed Original Cindy's arm and pulled her to the doors to the inner part of the hospital.
"Max, where are you taking Original Cindy?" Cindy asked, sounding scared.
Max turned to her, her gaze hard once more. "Room 309, according to the nurse. He's in ICU. What is ICU, Cindy?"
Max continued her brisk walk in the direction the arrow on the wall pointed. She heard Cindy stop and gasp.
"Max, ICU means it's bad. ICU is the intensive care unit."
Max broke into a run, bursting into Manticore's fastest sprint, not caring who saw her, with only one thought. 'Shit. I killed him.'
Max sprinted to the end of the hall, looked at the numbers on the wall, and turned right. She walked halfway down the corridor, and stopped in front of a door. She glanced at the sign outside the door, and walked in.
***
She gasped as she saw Logan lying on a hospital bed, skin white and cuts blood red. He lay there, eyes closed, breathing soft but clearly labored, despite the many machines he was hooked too. Max shook away the thoughts of Zach, and how he had looked when Renfro had shown him to her. 'Damn, Logan. I'm sorry. Fuck, what did I do to you?' Max felt the tears building up behind her eyes. She turned away from him, and let loose. She sat curled up in a corner, silently, thinking about Logan. 'Girl, what are you going to do without him? You love him… he saved you so many times.' Max didn't know how long she lay there, thinking, but soon a doctor came in.
Max turned around, and saw a young woman, about 20, plain but pretty, standing in front of Logan's bed. The woman turned around, sensing Max.
"Excuse me, I don't mean to intrude. I'm Dr. Latasha. May I ask how you know Mr. Cale? Girlfriend, sister, wife…" Dr. Latasha trailed off, waiting for an answer.
Max faltered, unsure how to act around this woman. "Um… I am Max. I'm his friend-"
Dr. Latasha cut her off. "Max? Oh, so YOU'RE Max. When Mr. Cale came in, he was said that we had to tell his dark angel, Max, his message. Wouldn't stop babbling about it. We had to drug him to get him to calm down!" Max gulped. Logan wanted to tell her he didn't like her like that, and that she should go. Dr. Latasha, not seeing Max's hesitation from her position at the machines, continued. "He says you shouldn't have run." Dr. Latasha smiled at her, the light eyes revealing that she knew more then she let on. Suddenly the doctor turned back to business. "Now, you really should not be in here. But I'm done, and I'm going to leave, and pretend I didn't see you. Machine checks are every half hour… Next time I wont be so nice."
Max blinked. She hadn't been expecting that. She was expecting a lecture and then being sent back to the waiting room. Before she could thank the doctor, the young woman was gone. Max pulled herself together and turned to the pale man lying on the bed in the center of the room.
At the sight of him, she lost it again. "Logan. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. This is all my fault… all my fault…" Max trailed off, and curled up on the floor against his bed. She let the tears flood and sobs wracked her body.
***
Logan lay in the small white hospital bed, groggy from the pills, but anxious for some reason. His tired brain could only process one thought at a time. His first thought, of course, was, 'Damn. I hurt like hell." Logan shifted painfully in the little bed. He groaned. He closed his eyes, and moments later felt a cool hand on his forehead, then running through his hair and tracing down his face to end on his lips. He groggily looked up at the blurry dark figure above him. "Mom?" he said in a little voice.
Max looked down at him, the man she hours before had feared would break her heart. His little groan of pain had woken her from her light sleep. She smiled down at the man she loved, but it was a sad smile because he seemed so little and vulnerable. She had never seen him without his 'Super Cale/Eyes Only out to save the world' protective wall.
"No, Logan, its Max." The words were softly spoken but rattled around in Logan's head. It took a few seconds for them to register.
"Maxie?" he asked, sounding like a little boy.
"Yeah, Logan, I'm here. I have to go, but I'll be back really soon. The nurses don't want me in here. I'll see you later, OK?" Max was unsure if she should go, but she knew that if she stayed longer, she wouldn't be able to leave him alone in this room. As she turned to go, Logan called out quietly, voice muffled by dreary pain.
"Max. Fuck da nurses. I needs ta talk to you."
Max couldn't help but smile at his wording, the drugs clearly affecting his normal editing of his language, despite her fear of what he would say. "Fine, Mr. Cale. What do you want to say?"
Logan attempted to smile. "You shouldn't… have…" he was cut off by a yawn.
Max took the interruption gladly and quickly intervened. "Logan. You need to sleep and get better, okay? Do it for me. Please." As she turned to leave, she didn't hear him attempt to finish his thought…
"Maxie… you didn't gotsta run."
But as he finished this proclamation, Max was already gone, and he fell asleep once more.
***
When Logan awoke, it took him a few moments to figure out he was moving forward. Either that or he was really, really drugged. But he felt much more aware, and upon further inspection promptly realized that he was missing his glasses. As he struggled to see what was happening, a perky nurse popped out from behind him.
"Hi! Well, Mr. Cale, how do you feel?" She asked brightly. Logan groaned quietly. 'What did I do to deserve this?' he asked himself, while out loud saying,
"I just got run over. 3 guesses on how I feel."
-|a/n: I actually had a nurse like this. I was seven and they thought I had appendicitis, and so when this perky nurse woke me up to take my vitals at three in the morning, and I bit her head off. Actually, my mom says I said, 'I'm sick! Don't you know I need my sleep!' and promptly feel back to sleep.|-
The perky nurse just smiled. "Well, you'll be up and at 'em soon enough! So smile, it'll make the time hurry up. Now, there is a very nice lady waiting for outside your room…"
Logan brightened considerably at the thought of Max. Suddenly, something occurred to him. "My room?" he asked.
The nurse smiled. "Of course! You're doing well enough we decided to take you out of ICU. Isn't that lovely?"
Logan scowled. "Just grand." He replied, but the sarcasm was lost on the nurse.
Max sat in the corner of the waiting room, huddled up against the wall. Original Cindy had popped out a few minutes ago, promising to return as soon as she could. Max sniffled, her Manticore genes not able to hold out against these emotions. Max thought back to Zack. 'He always said emotion was weakness… I guess he was right. I shouldn't be here. I should leave. Hospitals are government. For all I know the nurse called the police. Lydecker could be on his way over. I should leave.' Max unconsciously frowned at these thought, her beautiful face scrunched up in pain for Logan.
Original Cindy walked into the cold waiting room, carrying two styrofoam cups of coffee. She walked up to Max, and sighed as she looked down at her.
"Max? Kay, look up, boo. I have coffee…" Original Cindy trailed off and pushed the hot cup into Max's hands. Max looked up, and Original Cindy saw how red her eyes were.
"OK, boo. I'm gonna tell you something that will make you very happy to hear, but first you gotta answer one of my questions, aiight boo?" Original Cindy looked down at her suddenly aware best friend.
"Fine, Cindy; is it about Logan?" She asked.
"Just wait. Ok, Max. So, fill me in here. You tell Original Cindy you don't love Logan—and that's fine with her if it gets ya through the day-- but she comes back and here you are, in a hospital waiting room. Hell, you're waiting on the floor for him. And crying. So, tell me, hun, what's going on here that you aren't telling Original Cindy?"
Max took a sharp breath; as if something scary that had loomed in the dark corners of her life had just stepped into the light. "Fine, Cindy. I love him, aiight? I love him, and I can't do a fucking thing about it. I wasn't made to love. I'm not supposed to. I'll just end up killing him."
Max stood up and walked away. Original Cindy ran to catch her friend and hugged her. 'Well, at least she admitted it to herself. That's a start,' Original Cindy smiled at that thought, but jumped when Max poked her and demanded,
"Info on Logan?"
Original Cindy laughed. "Max, I heard he's out of ICU." Max jumped away from Cindy's embrace, rubbed her eyes and started to head to the nurses station.
"Max, WAIT! I saw him. He's just down the hall. No need to scare the nurses again, boo."
Max grinned sheepishly. "Right. But it's so much fun…" she trailed off.
***
Logan sat in his bed, waiting impatiently for Max to come in. The nurse had said she was coming. He hoped she would, be couldn't wait to see her, and clear up the misunderstanding before.
Logan smiled as he heard footsteps echoing through the halls. The dark haired beauty looked in. "Logan?" she asked uncertainly. He struggled to sit up and then smiled at her. "Hey, Max."
Max smiled back. "Hey. How are you feeling?"
He smirked. "Like I got run over."
Max laughed lightly and walked over to him. "Very funny, Logan. You scared the hell out of me." She chided, her voice cracking and betraying her bright smile.
Logan looked closer at her and saw the redness of her eyes, the sign of tears that had, just recently, fallen. "Hey," he started gently. "I'm sorry. Come here."
Max walked right to the side of his bed, and sniffled. "What?"
He reached out and grabbed her waist. "I'm really sorry, Max. I didn't mean to scare you." He said as he guided her to sit on the bed.
Max shuddered involuntarily at he touch. "I know," she whispered. "But…"
"You blamed yourself."
Max nodded violently. "I shouldn't have surprised you. I should have known better." A single tear ran down her cheek.
Logan reached up and wiped it away. "Max, that was the best surprise you could have given me. You just shouldn't have run."
Max looked down. "I'm sorry." More tears fell.
Logan smiled. "Max," he started, "You'd better stop crying or your going to get me wet."
Max smiled weakly at him through her tears. She grabbed a tissue off his bed stand and wiped her eyes. "I'm just…"
Logan shut her up with a finger to her lips. He then took both her hands in his. "Max." he stated, pausing. He raised one hand to his lips, kissing it.
Max took a deep breath, amazed at how much of an effect his simple gesture had on her. "Logan…" she murmured, pulling her hand away from his face. She replaced the area almost immediately, however.
Max leaned in and kissed him on the lips. Logan began to kiss her back, but as she shifted he pulled away and gasped. Max froze. "I'm sorry, Logan, I didn't mean-"
Logan chuckled. "Max, no. It's just that I was in a car accident, so I'm a little sore."
Max laughed as well. Logan reached out, taking her face in his hands, and pulled her to him again.
Moments later they broke apart, out of breath and dazed. "Wow." Max sighed.
Logan laughed quietly. He leaned back against the pillows. "Oh yeah." He agreed.
Max looked at him. She carefully adjusted herself so that she was lying next to him, half on-half off the bed. The only thing keeping her there was her Manticore balance. Logan wrapped and arm around her, helping her stay there. He leaned forward and gently met her lips again, a much different, softer, more dreamlike kiss than the passionate one moments before.
He pulled away quickly, before Max could really react. "Max," he whispered, the drugs having worn off enough to let him have a conversation but not as much as necessary to make him completely coherent. Added to that was Max's close proximity, her smell overwhelming him, plus the heat radiating from both; all in all he was teetering dangerously near the edge of madness. And then, as she smiled softly, he fell off the edge. "I love you."
While in his mind he began to scream as he realized exactly what he had said and the peril he was in—as was Max, chances being that she would fall off the bed—she did not pause. Instead she smiled wider and leaned in towards him. As he went to capture her in another kiss, assuming she couldn't say the words, she pulled away. He stopped, confused. Her smile faded as she looked at him seriously.
"I love you too."
Logan, instead, took the role of freezing. He stared at her, not comprehending, totally and completely in shock. Max put her face near his, as near as she could get without kissing him, and whispered against his lips. "What's a girl gotta do to get a kiss from the guy she loves?"
Logan blinked twice rapidly and then closed his eyes. Sensing his shock Max took over. She moved the necessary millimeter and pressed her lips to his, trying to stimulate a response.
Logan, while still having quite a foggy understanding of the circumstances, had a body with a mind of it's own. As he began to kiss her again, his brain gave up.
Again, they both emerged for air after a long moment. In unison, they smirked and spoke.
"Don't you ever do that again!"