Note: I don't own Zelda, or Al Yankovic's song Amish Paradise, which is a parody of Coolio's Gangsta' Paradise.

HYRULE PARADISE

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As I use the little fairies that heal my pain

I take a look at my clothes, and realize they're very plain

But they're just perfect for a hero like me

For they withstand painful things like electricity

At 4:30 in the morning I'm fightin' foes

Riding on Epona, catching lots of Poes… fool

And I've been slicin' and dicin' so long that

Even Princess Zelda thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I've saved a few women

Got a weapon in my hand and some tights on my shin

But if I save my homeland and you save thine

Then tonight we're gonna party 'til it's 11:59

We been spending most our lives

Living in a Hyrule paradise

I've fought Ganon once or twice

Living in a Hyrule paradise

It's hard work and sacrifice

Living in a Hyrule paradise

Got a shield at discount price

Living in a Hyrule paradise

A Stalfos hit me in the back last week

I just glared at him, and slashed him on the cheek

I really don't care, in fact, I'm feeling fine

But when I get to Ganon he's gonna be mine

But I've never punched Ruto

Even if she deserved it

A hero with a 'tude?

You know that's unheard of.

I never wear buttons, but monsters think I'm mean

But my homies agree I really look good in green… fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears

We haven't even got the Triforce in 10,000 years

But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare.

We're just technologically impaired

There are Stalfos, Ice Keese, and some Like Likes

But no luxuries

Like those danged Pea Hats, it's as annoying as can be

We been spending most our lives

Living in a Hyrule paradise

We're just strange and magical guys

Living in a Hyrule paradise

Ganon's caused some sin and vice

Living in a Hyrule paradise

With monsters, I ain't very nice

Living in a Hyrule paradise

Hitchin' up Epona, slicing foes like butter

Raised a Cucco Monday, soon I'll raise another

Think you're really righteous?

Think you're pure in heart?

Well, Hero of Time ain't your art

I'm the bigger guy that Mido wants to be like

Acting like he's tough and larger than life

But don't be vain, and don't be whiny

Or else, my friend, I might have to get medieval on your hiney

We been spending most our lives

Living in a Hyrule paradise

We get crazy at midnights

Living in a Hyrule paradise

There's no cops or traffic lights

Living in a Hyrule paradise

But you'd probably think it bites

Living in a Hyrule paradise