Day 3: The Next Morning
A Brisk Bout with Death
[Sie and Ti awaken and get dressed. Ti once again changes into a new outfit, a short plaid skirt and khaki shirt, while Sie changes into a long black skirt with two high slits and white no-sleeve shirt. They enter the main office only to see....Aragorn, Obi-Wan, Maul, and Anakin sprawled out, weapons drawn, with blood, bruises, black eyes, and cuts. Gandalf is tied to Sie's chair with his beard braided with bows and eyebrows tweezed. Behind Gandalf a single frog hops around. Qui-Gon now has the couch to himself and is sleeping. Frodo is under Sie's desk with sword drawn. He awakens, sees Sie and runs to hug her.]
Sie, not noticing him: What the living Hell happened?
Ti, hitting her in the arm: Hey! We don't need that kind of language! Why is their blood on my carpet?! (gets a psycho/ Carrie look on her face) There's blood on my pearl white carpet! That is never going to come out! Someone has to pay for this!
[While Ti is ranting and raving about her carpet, Sie goes to her desk, pulls out a med-kit and begins helping the wounded. Meanwhile, Ti wakes Qui-Gon up for an explanation.]
Qui-Gon: Well, it all started when Obi-Wan killed Jar-Jar....
Obi-Wan, regaining consciousness: Oh yeah! lay all the blame on me. Anakin attacks me, and I get blamed. You always liked him better than me anyway. (falls back over)
Qui-Gon: So anyway, Anakin was mad at Obi-Wan and attacked him. They duke it out for a while until Obi-Wan brought his lightsaber into it, and Anakin did the same. By then, Maul has joined in, and Aragorn has brought his sword into it as well. They fought for a while.
Sie, tending Anakin: So, who won?
Qui-Gon: Well, no one really, they just all gave up at the same time.
[Meanwhile, Sie is finishing up Anakin after working on Aragorn and Maul. She motions for Frodo.]
Sie: Make yourself useful and help Obi-Wan.....be rough. This was probably his fault, anyway.
Ti: Ok, I get those four on the ground but what is the meaning of this, (points to Gandalf) and where's Sam?
Qui-Gon: Well...that's a long story...see after the four were knocked out and everyone was asleep, Frodo and Sam decided to be practical jokers and tied Gandalf up braiding bows in his beard. In the end, Gandalf turned Sam into a frog.
[Eventually, the four begin to regain consciousness and get up moaning and groaning as they try to stand.]
Obi-Wan, trying to explain: It's not my fault! He (points at Anakin) tried to kill me!
Anakin: You tried to kill me first!
Obi-Wan: That was along time ago...you were a kid.
Anakin: Exactly!
Obi-Wan: Master, help me out here!
Qui-Gon: Nope.
Obi-Wan: You like him better than me!
Ti: Not this again.
Sie, stepping in: Ok, no more bloodshed. (to Qui-Gon) You were the one who taught Obi-Wan.
Qui-Gon, holding up his hands: Oh no, that was all Yoda. Obi-Wan never listened to me, anyway.
Anakin, to Qui-Gon: How could you let him train me? Are you crazy? No wonder I turn to the dark side. It's all Obi-Wan's fault.
Sie, stepping in again: That's enough, let's not go into this again. (sighs) Frodo I need to borrow your sword.
[Frodo gives up his sword a little to happily while Sie goes over to Gandalf.]
Sie: Ok, if you turn Sam back into a hobbit, I'll free you.
Ti: No, that's ok...really.
Gandalf: No! You have no idea what that little hobbit did to me!
Sie, threateningly: Either you turn Sam back to normal, or I'll cut your beard off.
Gandalf, hesitantly: Well....Ok. (turns Sam back to normal and is freed by Sie)
[ Sam runs over to Tiarra and hugs her.]
Sam, to Ti: You have really nice..... (pauses and everyone looks at the hobbit slightly worried at what he's going to say) knees!
Gandalf, standing up and looking at Sam clinging to Ti: If you ever pull that stunt again, I'll--
Sam, griping Ti more in fear: Oh, please don't turn me into a frog again, or anything else unnatural for that matter.
Sie, coming between the two: Ok, settle down; last night is over; lets try to be friendly. Gandalf, no more magic? (stares at Gandalf till he nods a yes) Sam! Frodo! No more jokes, or you will be punished...
Frodo, raising an eyebrow: Punished? (rolls tongue)
Sie, glaring with a look that could kill: No more jokes.
[Both hobbits nod a yes to the agreement, and Sierra retrieves her chair from Gandalf, wheels it over to her desk and props her feet up, as usual, forgetting that she's wearing a dress, not noticing that she's flashing everyone in sight.]
Ti: Uh, Sie...you might not want to sit like that.
[Sie, now noticing, quickly puts her feet down.]
Sie: Ok, who saw that? (Everyone raises their hand, some a little to happily.) Crap.
Sam, to Sie: You have really nice--
[Ti grabs Sam and covers his mouth.]
Frodo: I like your black, lacy underwear.
[Author's Note: I don't own any pairs of lacy underwear!]
[Sie reaches over and takes her Lithium.]
Ti, sitting in her desk: After all the fights, the complaints...
Sie, knowing what Ti's going to say: Don't say it.
Ti, continuing: ...the personality problems, the territorial differences...
Sie, shaking her head slightly: Don't say it!
Ti: Things can't get any worse.
[A second after Ti said that, the lights go out leaving everyone in utter darkness.]
Sie, very annoyed: You just HAD to say it.
[A rustling of people getting up and moving is heard. A curse word that can't be described is heard from Obi-Wan as he hits the wall. Laughing is heard from the back of the office that sounds like Anakin's and Aragorn's. Sie feels something touch her leg at which point she freaks and climbs on her desk the best she can. Ti fumbles through the darkness looking for a flash light.]
Ti: Sie! Where's the flashlight?
Sie: It's in my top desk drawer!
Ti, reaching for the darkness: That's very helpful (rather irritated) considering I'm in the dark!
[Ti, groping in the darkness, stumbles and lands on top of somebody. In the background struggling is heard between what it sounds like Maul and Aragorn. Sie slowly jumps off her desk, falls over also landing on top of someone. The lights come on to reveal Maul holding Aragorn very close, Frodo on the ground looking for something, Sam clinging to Gandalf, Ti on top of Qui-Gon and Sie on top of Anakin. Awkward silence falls as the group remains confused then Maul lets go of Aragorn turning a shade redder than he already is, Frodo continues to look for something on the ground, Sam lets go of Gandalf also a shade red, and Ti gets off of Qui-Gon a shade red. Ti spots Sie getting off of Anakin and freaks out.]
Ti, to Sie: Traitor!!!
Sie, more confused and red in the face herself: Pardon?
Ti: How dare you try to take my man away! I thought I laid claims to him before. So, the whole light thing was just a way to get with Anakin!
Sie, missing what the heck Ti's talking about: Slow down a sec--
[Before Sie finishes, Ti walks to Aragorn, grabs his sword and dashes to Sie with sword ready.]
Sie, now frightened: Whoa ...I didn't mean to land on Anakin! I swear! Put the sword down!
[Ti swings the sword down only for Sie to doge left. Ti notices now that she has cut her carpet where her sword landed.]
Ti, wigging: Now look what you made me do! I cut my carpet! (goes after Sie)
[Everyone else watches happy to see a cat fight. Ti slashes a dozen times at Sie, but Sie manages to duck/dodge or move out of the way. Sie spins and kicks Ti's sword away. Then, Ti tackles Sie trying to choke her.]
Sie, in between gasps: Look, I don't have designs for you guy! Lay off!
[Finally, Aragorn and Anakin break the two apart with Aragorn getting Sie and Anakin grabbing Ti.]
Qui-Gon, slightly sarcastic: They was the most interesting thing I've seen those two do.
Gandalf: I thought they were the sane ones of the bunch.
[Aragorn sets a slightly shaken Sie in her desk chair just as Anakin sets a very pissed Ti in her chair.]
Frodo, racing to Sie's side: Oh, you poor girl! (sees his ring under her chair and goes under it to fetch it but gets up, knocks Sie and the chair over. Sie goes tumbling down.)
Frodo: Eep!
Obi-Wan: I think she's dead.
Ti, looking slightly guiltily: I hope she isn't. (goes to Sie's side) Oh no...she's gone! The fighting! The hobbit! She just couldn't take it!
Frodo, now by Sie's side: I knew I should have helped her.
[Sie awakes and looks up to see Ti and Frodo crouched over her.]
Sie: I'm all right.
[Frodo and Ti continue to babble on about a dead Sierra.]
Sie: I'm alive!
[Ti and Frodo realize that she's fine. Ti smiles and helps Sie up. Frodo hugs Sie too tightly for her liking.]
Sie: Let me go. NOW!!
[Frodo runs away, and things resume as normal as they can under the circumstances. Time passes slowly as the group do their own things. Out of nowhere Legolas is thrown back into the room with a messed up hair and clothes. He looks frantic and surprised to be back into the room. Maul smiles a bit and goes and helps Legolas up.]
Legolas, more or less unnerved: I'm so confused! I need some time to think!
Ti, looking at the distressed Elf: How did you manage to escape Susan?
Legolas, sighing: Her process of trying to make me straight didn't work out too well. I just need to think about the past day. (goes and sits in the center of the room away from everyone)
Sie, grabbing her bottle of Lithium: Care for some?
[He nods and takes some. Then, nightfall comes .]