Two Weeks Later: Morning

Suicide, Schizos , Withdrawals....Oh my!

[By this time, everybody has gone a little over the edge. Sierra's sitting at her desk as usual with a blank stare, Tiarra is gripping her desk, Aragorn and Anakin are carrying on a conversation, Obi-Wan is pondering suicide in the corner as Maul is right by his side, Legolas remains "confused", staring at the wall, Gandalf is alone in a corner pondering what exactly he is here for and what his purpose is, the hobbits are drafting out plans to capture their beloveds, and Qui-Gon's on the couch thinking about how he's the only sane one left.]

Obi-Wan, on the brink of suicide: I gonna do it! I've got my lightsaber right here. I'm unhooking it,and I'm about to turn it on. I'm going to stab myself with it. I'm going to do it......right now.....

Anakin, irritated: If you don't shut-up and kill yourself, I'll gladly do it for you!!

Obi-Wan: What is there left for me to live for?

Sierra, depressed herself: There's always more contracts for you to get suckered into.

Tiarra, trying to be happy and helpful: Obi-Wan, you have some much to live for. You've got Anakin, your apprentice......who ends up turning to the dark side, taking over the galaxy, and killing all the Jedi, including you, all because you did an awful job teaching him......but other than that.....

Sierra: Geez, why don't you go over there and stab him yourself?

Obi-Wan, looking at his lightsaber: Tiarra, you're right, I shouldn't kill myself........I should kill HIM! (points to Anakin)

Qui-Gon: All right, that's enough! Nobody's killing anybody.

Sierra, talking about Anakin and Obi-Wan: You know, they have a love-kill relationship.......they love trying to kill each other.

[Scene pans over to Anakin and Aragorn, who are involved in a friendly conversation.]

Anakin: .......well I'm flattered that she's chasing me, but I just don't know if I feel the same way.

Aragorn: My girlfriend's an elf, and she's hot!! Her name's Arwen........(in a slightly different voice)...Of course she always falls for you!!!

Anakin: Pardon?

Aragorn: I can't help it if she loves me more than you......(different voice)...I never had a chance with her! You always took her away!

Anakin, concerned: Uh...Aragorn, are you ok?

Aragorn, to Anakin: Leave us alone, we're having a conversation!

Anakin, afraid: What's the matter with you?

Aragorn: I'll fight for her..... ok, put up your dukes, let's get down to it!

[Aragorn gets up and begins to try to hit himself with his fists, sometimes blocking them, sometimes not. At one point he begins to try to choke himself with one hand while the other hand holds back the choking hand. Now Anakin has moved back a few feet in a really short time. When the choking hand ceases to be a problem, Aragorn draws his sword and begins slashing at air and throwing himself back. He manages to back himself to a corner, ducks as if missing a slash, and falls to the ground and begins to roll around as if tackled. At this point, all eyes are on Aragorn. Anakin, bends down to pick up a bottle of medicine that has fallen out of Aragorn's pocket. Anakin brings the bottle to Sierra.]

Anakin: Did you know what kind of medicine this is?

Sie, taking the medication from Anakin: That's schizo medicine.

Qui-Gon: Well that explains a lot.

Gandalf, to Sierra: How are you so knowledgeable in this area?

Sie: I've had problems.

[All look to Ti, who's still gripping her desk]

Ti: She's joking.

Sie, whining: No, I'm not! (pauses seeing Ti gripping her desk) Why are you gripping your desk like that? (laughs)Afraid somebody's going to steal it?

Ti, gritting her teeth: I haven't had any coffee in a week!! I need my caffeine!

Sie: Kind of like I need my Lithium....but somebody took all of it. (glares at Legalos)

Ti: You have your addictions, I have mine! (sees the hobbits) Hobbits! Come here my little espressos!

[Frodo and Sam look up from their work and give each other a strange look.]

Sam: Do I go over there or not?

Frodo: I wouldn't.

Sam: But it's the first time she's ever called for me!

Frodo: Are you sure you want to answer to "espresso"?

[The hobbits quickly go back to their work. Tiarra notices a depressed Anakin slouched in a corner.]

Tiarra: Awww, Anakin, what's wrong?

Anakin: I just found out that my best friend's a schizo .

[Story pans to Aragorn still fighting with himself.]

Obi-Wan, to Anakin: I thought I was your best friend. (Anakin gives him an evil glare.)

Tiarra, going to Anakin with open arms: Come here my tall Cafe Latte!

Anakin, glancing at Ti and then looking at Sie for advice. Sie shakes her head and mouths a "no." Tiarra gets up and goes over to Anakin, who gets up and runs. Tiarra gives up and goes over to pout with Obi-Wan]

Ti, to Obi-Wan: I hate men.

Obi-Wan, glances at Maul, then looks back at Ti: Me too.

[Legalos, after staring at the wall the whole time, gets up, grabs Sierra and Maul, and stands them in the middle of the room with Sie on one side and Maul on the other. Legolas begins comparing the two. Legolas babbles on about men and women, trying to figure out which one he likes.]

Sierra, to Maul: I feel like a freak in a sideshow. (looking at Maul) You look like a freak in a sideshow.

Maul: I get that a lot.

Sierra: Gee, I wonder why....your just a horny sith lord. (All heads raise at "horny".) ....Look at the horns on his head.

Everyone: Oh.

[As night time approaches, Aragorn is still fighting with himself, until he becomes completely worn out. He lays on his back panting.]

Aragorn, to his other self: I'll get you next time!