V. Paradoxes and Other Difficult Positions
"I find myself in a difficult position, Master." Obi-Wan held his stance until Qui-Gon nodded once, satisfied. Then the young man burst into motion again, his body spinning and lunging through the blue afterimage the lightsaber framed about him.
"Hold." Qui-Gon made a tiny correction in his apprentice's grip. "What do you mean?"
"I understand that everything we've done has been to gain a better understanding of this stranger, but--" At the older Jedi's nod, he sprang into the kata again. The dance of blade and body was a more eloquent expression than his words. At the close of the exercise, Obi-Wan came to rest in the final position. His chest was heaving with more than just exertion. "But I sympathize with her." A flick of his thumb, and the humming blade vanished. "I know what it is to not be trusted."
"The Council would tell you that sympathy is a dangerous emotion."
" 'There is no emotion, there is peace.' " Obi-Wan's impish voice was muffled by the small towel he was wiping his sweaty face with.
"From a certain point of view," Qui-Gon chuckled. "But sympathy has its place, Padawan. As peace and patience are doorways to the Unifying Force, sympathy and empathy are of the Living Force. Too many Jedi have forgotten that personal connections form the beating heart of the Republic."
* * *
Today was a rest day, and Cathleen decided to use it, for once. The previous rest days, she had either been in the infirmary, or simply too anxious to sit back and relax. She hadn't even touched her quarters' vidscreen yet--though even at home, Cathleen had never been all that attached to the television. Her off-time consisted mostly of reading (she did more than enough of that here) and sketching (but her writing pad was gone, along with her drawings.)
But today was a rest day, and she wanted to indulge herself. When she activated the vidscreen, it was turned to a news service. *All I need now,* Cathleen thought with a smile, *is Dan Rather.* The anchor, however, was a gray-furred Gotal.
"...but the Stombannin family representative refused to comment," he was saying. "In a related story, a Selonian colony, which emigrated ten standard years ago to the planet Ubezhdat, was massacred yesterday by the Ubezhdi Liberation Front." The picture on screen changed to show what was presumably the burnt-out remains of the colony. "The ULF is a terrorist organization made up of xenophobic Ubezhdi aborigines. It has long been dedicated to driving out or exterminating all non-native peoples, but this marks the first ULF attack against other nonhumans." The scene changed again, now showing human recovery workers carrying stretchers into a central clearing in the rubble.
Cathleen's heart contracted at the all-too-familiar images. *This is the _Star Wars_ galaxy, damn it! This isn't supposed to happen here!* She was shocked to realize that she was crying.
"Ubezhdat's Coronin Elenus has vowed harsh retaliation," the anchor went on emotionlessly, "but Senator Domas Mansche has urged the Coronin to delay any action until a team of Jedi can be dispatched."
*This is why I hardly ever watched TV back on Earth,* Cathleen thought. But she couldn't tear herself away from the news of the galaxy. She watched all day long, with an increasingly heavy heart.
During trade talks, Massaduan religious zealots had beaten a Caamasi ambassador to death. The Caamasi, true to their peaceful, patient nature, simply sent another envoy.
Two Jedi Knights had been seriously injured on Petrad III, where a planetary civil war had been brewing for over a year.
The notorious Stombannin family, long suspected of being involved in pirate activities along the Corellian Trade Spine, was embroiled in a bloody land dispute on Selonia.
Three men and two women on Coruscant had slain their families, then themselves.
And on and on. Finally, Cathleen turned off the vidscreen. It was a long time before she moved again.
* * *
**Week 6, day 2: I find myself in a difficult position. This galaxy has always been portrayed as better and brighter than Earth. Even during the dark times, the characters had hope to spare. In being somehow transported here, I thought I was living a dream. After all, who doesn't want to live in a world where things really do turn out right in the end?
But things aren't really any different here than back on Earth--just on a larger scale. The same crimes, the same wars, the same helpless, hopeless anticipation of a bleak future.
And here I sit, with information that could prevent that bleak future. I thought that keeping my mouth shut about it was the right thing to do, that things would play out as they were meant to, no matter what. Or maybe that changing the future would cause some freaky paradox or something. But now I'm thinking, paradoxes be damned.
It's times like this when I wish I did have some of those Jedi powers. Or, like Luke, that I had a ghostly advisor on my shoulder. I'd try meditating, but it always makes me fall asleep. Maybe writing all this down has helped, I don't know. Maybe I should do what Obi-Wan told me, and trust the Jedi.
Maybe I actually can change the future.**
"I find myself in a difficult position, Master." Obi-Wan held his stance until Qui-Gon nodded once, satisfied. Then the young man burst into motion again, his body spinning and lunging through the blue afterimage the lightsaber framed about him.
"Hold." Qui-Gon made a tiny correction in his apprentice's grip. "What do you mean?"
"I understand that everything we've done has been to gain a better understanding of this stranger, but--" At the older Jedi's nod, he sprang into the kata again. The dance of blade and body was a more eloquent expression than his words. At the close of the exercise, Obi-Wan came to rest in the final position. His chest was heaving with more than just exertion. "But I sympathize with her." A flick of his thumb, and the humming blade vanished. "I know what it is to not be trusted."
"The Council would tell you that sympathy is a dangerous emotion."
" 'There is no emotion, there is peace.' " Obi-Wan's impish voice was muffled by the small towel he was wiping his sweaty face with.
"From a certain point of view," Qui-Gon chuckled. "But sympathy has its place, Padawan. As peace and patience are doorways to the Unifying Force, sympathy and empathy are of the Living Force. Too many Jedi have forgotten that personal connections form the beating heart of the Republic."
* * *
Today was a rest day, and Cathleen decided to use it, for once. The previous rest days, she had either been in the infirmary, or simply too anxious to sit back and relax. She hadn't even touched her quarters' vidscreen yet--though even at home, Cathleen had never been all that attached to the television. Her off-time consisted mostly of reading (she did more than enough of that here) and sketching (but her writing pad was gone, along with her drawings.)
But today was a rest day, and she wanted to indulge herself. When she activated the vidscreen, it was turned to a news service. *All I need now,* Cathleen thought with a smile, *is Dan Rather.* The anchor, however, was a gray-furred Gotal.
"...but the Stombannin family representative refused to comment," he was saying. "In a related story, a Selonian colony, which emigrated ten standard years ago to the planet Ubezhdat, was massacred yesterday by the Ubezhdi Liberation Front." The picture on screen changed to show what was presumably the burnt-out remains of the colony. "The ULF is a terrorist organization made up of xenophobic Ubezhdi aborigines. It has long been dedicated to driving out or exterminating all non-native peoples, but this marks the first ULF attack against other nonhumans." The scene changed again, now showing human recovery workers carrying stretchers into a central clearing in the rubble.
Cathleen's heart contracted at the all-too-familiar images. *This is the _Star Wars_ galaxy, damn it! This isn't supposed to happen here!* She was shocked to realize that she was crying.
"Ubezhdat's Coronin Elenus has vowed harsh retaliation," the anchor went on emotionlessly, "but Senator Domas Mansche has urged the Coronin to delay any action until a team of Jedi can be dispatched."
*This is why I hardly ever watched TV back on Earth,* Cathleen thought. But she couldn't tear herself away from the news of the galaxy. She watched all day long, with an increasingly heavy heart.
During trade talks, Massaduan religious zealots had beaten a Caamasi ambassador to death. The Caamasi, true to their peaceful, patient nature, simply sent another envoy.
Two Jedi Knights had been seriously injured on Petrad III, where a planetary civil war had been brewing for over a year.
The notorious Stombannin family, long suspected of being involved in pirate activities along the Corellian Trade Spine, was embroiled in a bloody land dispute on Selonia.
Three men and two women on Coruscant had slain their families, then themselves.
And on and on. Finally, Cathleen turned off the vidscreen. It was a long time before she moved again.
* * *
**Week 6, day 2: I find myself in a difficult position. This galaxy has always been portrayed as better and brighter than Earth. Even during the dark times, the characters had hope to spare. In being somehow transported here, I thought I was living a dream. After all, who doesn't want to live in a world where things really do turn out right in the end?
But things aren't really any different here than back on Earth--just on a larger scale. The same crimes, the same wars, the same helpless, hopeless anticipation of a bleak future.
And here I sit, with information that could prevent that bleak future. I thought that keeping my mouth shut about it was the right thing to do, that things would play out as they were meant to, no matter what. Or maybe that changing the future would cause some freaky paradox or something. But now I'm thinking, paradoxes be damned.
It's times like this when I wish I did have some of those Jedi powers. Or, like Luke, that I had a ghostly advisor on my shoulder. I'd try meditating, but it always makes me fall asleep. Maybe writing all this down has helped, I don't know. Maybe I should do what Obi-Wan told me, and trust the Jedi.
Maybe I actually can change the future.**