Thank you all for sticking by me. It's because of fans like you that I can continue to be the author that I am. I hope you keep enjoying this little series, and bear with me all the way to the end.
Disclaimer: All characters, places, and whatnot belong to NeoPets.com, not me. I did the story and nothing but. Please don't hurt me or sue me, I am making no money off of this at all, I swear. I am making no copyright claims and am just using the characters for the purposes of fun and entertainment, not profit.
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*SLAP!!*
Ferny brought her hand up and slapped squarely across Capara's face, looking at her with a mixture of anger and sorrow. Capara staggered back almost all the way to the door. The slap itself was light, Ferny having very little real muscle mass. But the combination of the look and the slap had forced her back. The look in Ferny's eyes... It spoke of the ultimate betrayal. Can truth breed lies? No, but revelations will usually end in sadness.
"Ferny..." Capara herself was on the verge of tears, her hand on her cheek where the Princess's gloved hand had stricken her. She rubbed it lightly for a moment before she realized that that was the exact same spot Ferny had kissed her days before. And then she began to truly cry. "Ferny... Ferny please..."
"Get out of here! Leave me alone you fraud!" Ferny threw a flaming red shoe at Capara, tears streaming out of her eyes, her look having degenerated from anger and sorrow to pure sorrow.
"But Ferny..." Capara dodged the mate of the show that had been thrown at her. "Ferny I lo..."
"Don't you say that! I've had enough of your lies. You tricked me! You tricked me and made me look like a fool. I can't believe that I... It was all a lie! A dirty lie!"
"Let me explain Ferny! I was just... It was... I didn't expect to..." Capara was at a loss for words. Being truthful was never her strong point and now she saw why. No matter what she said she was in trouble. The truth might set her free, but she didn't want to cut her ties with Ferny. She wanted to remain with the beautiful princess. She wanted a fairy tale ending to her hash life. She was ready and willing to give up lying. She had money now; she no longer had a wavering future. But money wouldn't buy her Ferny's trust.
"The whole time, you were leading me along. Just using me. For what? To win that game? Well, you did. Now you have all that money. So just take it and go away. Go away and never come back here." Ferny dabbed at her eyes with a fine silk cloth and started to pack faster, stuffing clothing into her suitcases without caring about how it was placed or if it might get damaged.
"Yes, I was leading you along. I admit it. It was wrong, and stupid. But now I'm telling you the truth. This is how I really am, Ferny. And I really do love you..." Capara approached Ferny slowly, keeping a wary eye on the Princess, hoping she could reconcile with the beautiful girl.
Ferny stiffened for a moment, wavering internally it seemed. She held onto the dress she was stuffing into her suitcase, squeezing it as confusion and conflicting feelings ran through her body. "How can you say that? You lied to me. You let me think you were something you weren't. I opened up to you and all you did was lie. More and more lies every time I saw you..."
"But that's it. I never lied to you when I told you about my life. I just never mentioned my real gender. At the time I was being slick about my trickery... But I guess somewhere inside I knew that I would never be able to fool you, or myself. Somewhere inside was a little Kyrii clutching at a book of Fairy tales and knowing that in the end the handsome prince was supposed to marry the beautiful princess. I should have seen it. Should have known that I could never avoid falling in love with you."
"Love love love... You say it like it was real. You're a *GIRL* Capara... And so am I. It's not supposed to work like that."
"Says who? Who says we can't be together?"
"Please..." The edge of sadness in Ferny's voice cut Capara to the bone. "Please just go away... Go away and never come back. I'm going home to Aquamarina and I hope there I can get away from this memory..."
Step by step Capara backed from the room, watching Ferny cry into her suitcase. She watched, hoped and waited for Ferny to stop her. But in the end she backed up all the way to the elevators and found the doors closing in front of her, making her lose sight of Ferny.
~It was never supposed to be like this.~
~There was supposed to be a limit.~
"It's over..." Capara whispered, leaning against the elevator doors and pounding on them softly. "My one last chance at happiness and I threw it all away. For a few bucks and my own arrogance I threw away true and lasting happiness. I scammed her alright. I really messed with her mind. And now... I'm the one who's the biggest loser. Hurray for me, Capara, the stupid one..."
~Somewhere there was supposed to be order.~
~Somewhere was a word to use.~
Capara exited the elevator without noticing she was doing it. She trudged past people in the lobby, pushing them aside without caring about the dirty looks and complaints she received. She left the lobby and looked around at the crowded streets. Normally awash in a sea of potential and joy she felt crowded, stifled and choked. All around the lights, usually flashing like jewels and speaking of wonders untold looked gaudy and forced, like a smile that never should have been...
~The word was 'stop'~
~The one word never used...~
For a moment Capara was confused about what she should do and where she should go. Worse than a wavering vision was none at all. She had done worse than burn the bridge behind her. She had set it ablaze while she was still on it. She had trapped herself between a past she could no longer stand and a future that no longer existed. As the flames ate away at the bridge Capara could only imagine what might happen as she tumbled down into nothing.
~Wasn't I supposed to know all this?~
~Wasn't I the one who called all the shots?~
Capara tried to cheer up, with thoughts of her newfound fame and fortune, the three million she had won and the prestige of being the new Cheat champ. Thinking of the money made her sick, while thinking of the fame made her scared. That money might as well be made of razorblades. It couldn't possibly hurt her more if it was. And the fame? She shunned everyone before she even started playing cheat. And she hadn't changed. Well, towards one she had, but that didn't count. A change is only a change when what has changed matters. And it didn't matter that she was able to love Ferny. Ferny didn't want her.
~If I'm supposed to be the one with all the answers~
~Then why am I falling into a trap I set myself?~
That night the moon was full and stared down at her like an accusing eye. The stars looked like sparkles gleaming off of a million arrows aimed right at her. The sighs of girls, normally an annoyance, sounded like mocking now. As though they knew, as though they were trying to make her crazy. Every desirous breath scratched over her mind like a needle on a record. She remembered the tender sighs of Ferny, and wondered, distantly, whether feeling so in love after so short a time was a sign of true devotion, or madness.
~In the end no one knew.~
~In the end it was all for nothing.~
Somehow Capara managed to make her way back to her motel room and stumbled in, despite the giant crowd of people surrounding the place. Every touch of their hands made her recoil, internally shuddering. She started to feel the cold and familiar embrace of the shell she wore around others. Around her true inner workings closed an icy prison, protecting her from others, and keeping her locked away from feeling for anyone. However, the ice didn't close as tight or cover as far. Capara still looked about her as she pushed through the crowd, and searched for a face, the face of the one who made her feel warm inside, the face that kept the freezing shell away.
~The winner!~
~So what?~
In her room Capara contemplated what she could do. On her bed rested the check she had received, its many zeros a tempting consolation. So much money. She could trade an icy shell for a little gold box and be just like the rest of the idle rich, like... Her... The trophy rested upon her bed, a lump of worthless metal that meant something to others but nothing to her. She could just smash it and be done with it, but that wouldn't accomplish anything at all. She was stuck with both, and couldn't do a damn thing with either.
~The loser?~
~Oh yes.~
She had known that it might be hard to fool the Princess. She had caught herself feeling sorry for her and calling her cute. It was foolish to assume that her cunning and resolve would be enough to keep her from falling for someone after getting that close to them. She had come to desire a single breath of Ferny's perfume, to adore the whisper of silk as she walked, to admire her adornments and trinkets. And yet she had pressed on with the deception, feeling she was changing, but not caring enough about that to notice. It was as though her feelings were warning her that they would not be denied but she was too arrogant to listen.
~It's not the end.~
~The end would be merciful...~
"She should have been snobbish and unfriendly..." Capara whispered into the emptiness within her. "She should have been dismissive, haughty, overly refined and without any dimensions..." The deadness within grew like a parasite, feeding on her regret. "If she hadn't been so warm and caring behind her mask I wouldn't be here now. If only she'd been a faceless society clone I could be enjoying this..." Her inner emptiness just quietly grew, taking advantage of her regret and anger. Misplaced anger was the favorite food of deadness, and this was certainly a feast...
~It's only the start of the future.~
~A broken, hollow future...~
"It's not fair. It's just not fair. Why is it that love has to beat you up just when things start getting good? This is why I never fell in love before. I knew the risks. What did I think I was doing? My, I've said that a lot tonight. The ultimate planner and schemer undone by one little detail. And now I have nothing left to do but..."
~Return to the start of it all.~
~Or end it all.~
Capara pulled on her jacket and looked around her room again. She stroked the steak knife she held in her hand. She would just end it. No note, no dramatic speech. No cliche. Just the end. She could always go out and see if waiting would help but that seemed to be just delaying the inevitable. "Maybe out at the spot we first met. A little red to color the scene. It might mean something later..." She headed out the door but stopped before it was closed. "Nothing should ruin that spot. As bad as things are it's still special." She stopped in the doorway, looking down at the knife and wondering what she should do...
To be continued...
Ferny: What is happening?
Capara: She's not even thinking of me.
Ferny: Why can't I stop thinking of her?
Capara: She'd never notice if I just went away.
Ferny: This can't be happening to me.
Capara: Maybe she'll just forget.
Ferny: I'll never be able to forget this.
Capara and Ferny: There is no way to understand this.
Capara: I'll never hear from her again.