Desperate

by Lady Alekto

AN: Thank you so much for reviewing. If I'm supposed say something intelligent now, well, I can't remember anything important, except maybe: BE PREPARED!!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and the other characters used in this story aren't mine. They belong to JK Rowling, and I'm just borrowing them.

Pairings: none (but maybe there will be in future, I'm not sure though)

Warnings: Suicide attempt, angst (for now)

Rating: R

Ich lege meine Träume in deine Hand
Mein ganzes Herz, meine Hoffnung
Mein gesamter Verstand.
Alles gehört dir,
kein Weg gilt zurück
alles kommt von mir.

I lay my dreams into your hands
My heart my hope
my whole mind
everything is yours
there's no way back
everything comes from me

(Sky's memories)

Chapter 2

George came upstairs, still smiling at a joke Angelique had told him, before she'd kissed him good-bye.

He didn't know how Fred got the idea she was a death-eater. No one so amazing and wonderful could be part of them. Still, he had been very hard on him before.

~Flashback~

Fred was sitting on his bed. He seemed to be quite nervous. "George, I need to talk to you." he said quietly, trying to keep a shiver out of his voice. He didn't succeed though. You couldn't hide things like that from your twin, it just wasn't working.

"Does it have to be now? You know that Angelique is coming over in a few."

"Yes, it's please... I.. shit..." Fred stuttered.

"Aw c'mon Fred, don't you tell me now that you have a date with Malfoy. Tell me, you never were tongue-tied." George answered walking into the bathroom to take a last look at the mirror.

"I'm not sure how to tell you" Fred answered, his voice barely hearable.

George had heard though. "You know, you have been behaving weird in the last few weeks."

"I .. I did?"

George turned around and could see Fred staring intently on his hands, as if they were the most important thing on the world. Fred had clenched them to fists. He sighed and walked over to Fred. He took Freds hands into his and looked into his eyes. "What is it?" he asked "We always told each other everything."

"You won't like it" Fred whispered. His voice was getting lower with each word.

"Fred, tell me, you know, Angelique will be here every moment." Suddenly an idea popped into Georges mind. "This isn't about her, is it?" he added.

Fred didn't answer.

"Fred, tell me!" George said forcibly. He didn't even notice his voice was getting louder.

Fred stiffened at the change in George's voice. He was silent for a few long seconds. "I saw something" he said.

"Something like...?" George was getting impatient. Somehow he didn't want to know where this conversation was heading.

"She's a death eater" Fred answered eventually. "I saw the dark mark."

George stared at him with growing anger. "You're lying!"

"I'm not" Fred stared at him, not quite believing the words he just heard. "I never lied to you!"

"There's always a first!" George exclaimed angrily.

"No, please believe me, I'm not lying, never to you!" Fred croaked, trying to defend himself.

"You're jealous, aren't you! Because I've got a girlfriend now and you don't" George replied.

"No,.. I" Fred started, but George wouldn't let him explain.

"You are, aren't you!" George didn't see the tear that slipped out of Fred's eyes.

"I told you, you wouldn't like it" he whispered in his defence, but George didn't hear it.

"The first time in my life someone like Angelique enters my life, something so wonderful I can't explain it, and you ... you want to destroy it?" George yelled.

"I'm not lying, please listen to me, please believe me!" Fred cried.

"Gods, my own brother, my damn twin is stabbing my back. I can't believe you Fred!"

"Please listen to me, I saw the dark mark on her arm, please believe me." Tears were slipping down Freds face. George didn't notice.

"You ... you bastard! How can you say this, I don't want to hear it anymore!" he yelled, menacingly glaring at his twin.

Fred punched him. George stared at him, his hand wiping over his lip and smearing the blood there over his chin.

"Oh god, I didn't just do this, I didn't" Fred was muttering and staring at him frightened, of George, of himself, not being able to move.

Georges eyes were burning from rage. "There, he shows the face behind the mask. You're not my brother anymore, I hate you! Leave! I don't want to see you anymore." He turned around and left the room.

The door bell rang.

~ End Flashback ~

He wanted to apologize, to talk to Fred and clear up the misunderstanding between them. He had been rude, and he had said things he didn't mean to. Though Fred had punched him, something he'd never thought possible.

He entered his and Freds room to see if Fred was still sulking about earlier. Though he couldn't blame him. They'd never fought like this before. He didn't want to be quarrelling with Fred. They really should talk about this.

George had been hurt as Fred told him those lies about Angelique. Maybe he just heard it from the wrong person, had seen some shadow that looked like the dark mark, maybe Fred hadn't any fault in this. Maybe Fred really wasn't lying. But Fred had no right to anyway, he didn't know Angelique. Also he had punched him.

He switched the light on, but he couldn't see Fred sitting anywhere. He didn't believe that he hid somewhere, this was barely a time to be joking, Fred would think the same. He also would have heard if Fred had left the room.

It was this moment when he noticed the water coming through under the bathroom door. Fred had fallen asleep in the bathtub for sure. He'd left the water running, like he'd done it times before. Good thing he never drowned.

George smiled at another thought that entered his mind. One of their first really good pranks had been to set the whole house under water, but they had wanted to have a swimming pool then. He still could remember the dumbfounded look on their mothers face as she had come home.

He pushed the door open and a steam-cloud rushed over him. Then he saw Fred lying in the bathtub. His eyes widened in shock, as he noticed that Fred was fully clothed and that there was a white package lying on the floor.

Sleeping pills.

Gods no.

He rushed beside the bathtub and grabbed Freds wrist, checking for a pulse.

Please Merlin no.

"I hate you" he had said.

Oh please everything but that.

"Please listen to me, I saw the dark mark on her arm, please believe me."

A tear slipped out of Georges eyes.

There was still a pulse, a faint pulse.

He grabbed Freds body and pulled him out of the tube, then he tried to make him vomit the rest of the pills that hadn't already dissolved and spread through Freds body.

"RON" he yelled "Dammit RON!" He heard a rumble on the hallway as he clutched Freds body for life.

"What is it?" an annoyed voice came from outdoors.

"Fred tried to kill himself get help, please" he cried.

"He what?" Ron squeaked and pushed the bathroom-door open. He cried shocked and stumbled out of the room, running for someone who could help.

"Shit why did you do it?" George sobbed into his twins neck.

"I hate you, Leave!"

"I didn't mean to! Gods I didn't mean it!"

"I hate you"

He rocked his brothers body back and forth, cradling him like a baby.

The confused look in Freds eyes before George turned around and left appeared in his mind as clearly as it had happened just seconds before.

"I'm not lying, please listen to me, please believe me." he had said.

I'll do anything, please just don't be dead. I can't live without you, you're my brother, my twin.

"I hate you"

The full impact of the words hit George and he sobbed harder. 'I made him do this'

"No, no, no ..." he repeated it over and over again. His tears dropping at the already damp skin of his brothers face. He was still breathing, but so softly .... so softly.

George stroked some damp locks out of Freds face. He saw the pained expression on his brothers face. And now he felt the pain himself.

He screamed.

Loud.

Louder.

Until he thought his lungs would burst.

~End Chapter 2~

PS: Please review! You know there's nothing you would like to do more at the moment.