Desperate

by Lady Alekto

AN: 1. Well, English is not my first language, so please excuse any strange grammatical abnormalities you may find. Also excuse that my vocabulary isn't great. 2. Thank you for your reviews. It's really shocking that so many people actually read my stories and even review it.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and the other characters used in this story aren't mine. They belong to JK Rowling, and I'm just borrowing them.

Pairings: none (but maybe there will be in future, I'm not sure though)

Warnings: Suicide attempt, angst (for now), uh.. Percy??

Rating: R

Of all the things I fear

This was the one I believed so far away

But now I can see

What you were hiding from me

I can see through your lies

Can see the insanity in your eyes

(Insanity in your eyes, by Skyjacker)

Chapter 3

Taking deep breaths to calm himself down George looked at Fred who was still resting in his arms. The wet clothes were starting to get cold and the damp floor wasn't exactly the most comfortable place to be in right now.

Still sobbing he grabbed a towel and started to clean his brother up. He pulled Freds sweater over his head and suddenly stopped, the sweater dropping to the floor. He let out a shocked cry moving his hands over the rips that were standing out of the much to slim torso. He actually was afraid of leaving bruises.

When has he become so thin?

George knew Fred hadn't been sleeping well for a few weeks now. That you couldn't miss when you were sleeping in the same room with someone, but he hadn't known his twin was doing so bad. Why hadn't anyone noticed he wasn't eating properly?

He should have noticed, Fred was his twin brother and best friend after all. They were supposed to know everything about each other. 'So why did we argue today? Why did you ignore him since you knew Angelique? She visited almost every day, you didn't even care to ask him how he was doing'

George finished drying Fred and picked him up to carry him into their room.

Could he really have lied?

He was so light.

What had Fred been doing to himself, the when he'd been with Angelique? They were doing everything together, what had Fred thought? Tears spilled out of Georges eyes again when he thought of how lonely Fred must have been. Would he have done the same thing if he'd found himself in Freds position? Probably.

He gently lowered his brother onto his bed and stared at the thin figure in front of him. He seemed as fragile as a china doll.

Carefully he let his fingers glide over Freds pale cheeks. He was still breathing, still much to softly. He seemed to be in a very deep sleep. "Where's a damn princess when you need one" he muttered to himself. "Would you wake from a kiss?" he asked his unconscious brother. He didn't laugh over his own joke, he just cried again.

"Gods, what did you think? Why didn't you tell me what was bothering you, or anyone?" he whispered to his twin.

Ron stormed into the room right then, followed by Percy, who had a horrified look on his face, that would have been funny at any other occasion. He went even paler, when his gaze fell on Fred.

Ron was crying "...couldn't find Mum" he sobbed "she's at a friends house with Ginny"

George could see that Ron was pressing his face into Percy's robes not wanting to see the limb body of his older brother.

"I don't know what to do anymore, I made him vomit, but I can't think of anything else" George said, his voice raspy and his mind far away.

Percy pulled his wand and muttered a spell. A slight glow spread itself over Fred's unconscious body. "This should slow the organism down, I learned it at the first aid seminar I was visiting last month." he explained shortly.

Kneeling beside Fred's body he looked at Ron, who was unsuccessfully trying to get himself under control and to stop crying.

"Ron, I want you to call Madam Pomfrey here. I suppose she's still at Hogwarts, we need at least a nurse here, and she's one that can be trusted. I'm not sure how long my spell will help though, so hurry up."

Ron nodded and stumbled out of the room, not really watching where he was going. They could hear something crash on the corridor, he had possibly pushed down a vase.

Percy then turned to George "What kind of poison did he take?"

George looked up "The sleeping pills Harry forgot here, you know those ones he took when he couldn't bring himself to sleep because he always had those nightmares." he said in a voice that seemed much calmer than he looked. George rubbed his face with one hand and whimpered again when he threw another look at Fred. "He did it because of me, I should have noticed,... should have known" George muttered bracing his knees to his chest and rocking back and forth.

Percy was silent for a moment, looking worried at his younger brother "There's no way you could have foreseen, no one ..."

"He's my fucking twin, we were supposed to think the same way, we always knew what the other thought. I should have known what he had been thinking." George spat at Percy. " I should have known" George was clenching his fists so hard, the nails that dug into his skin drew blood.

Suddenly George felt his face being lifted and he stared at Percys tear streaked face.

"We all should have seen it George" he threw a look at Fred, his eyes mirroring disbelieve "I know him as long as you do, he's my brother, we should have seen." Percy's eyes got glassy. "How he would stay in his rooms for hours, how he would excuse himself from the meals so early..." It seemed so clear now, why hadn't they noticed before.

"It's not your fault" George said "I was the reason for this, I wasn't there for him when I should've been"

"You can't blame it all on yourself George!" Percy sighed slightly annoyed by his brothers stubbornness at blaming himself.

"And yet it is. This all started about the time when I started dating Angelique, today just pushed him over the edge... I pushed him... I pushed him myself" George said barely in a whisper. "It was all my fault"

"What happened today?" Percy asked, suddenly curious. "Ron told me he heard you were fighting."

"He told me, she was a Death Eater, how could he?" George was staring at his hands "He was so upset because I said he was lying ... he ... he hit me" George said, his hand touching his jaw where he could feel the tingling sensation of a bruise.

Percy's face suddenly got serious, which remained not unnoticed by George who was staring at Percy once again.

"What?" George asked in a sharp voice, his eyes locked at Percys face.

"What exactly did he say?" Percy inquired, his gaze shifting onto the pale figure lying unconscious two metres away on the opposite of the room.

"What do you mean?" George sounded suddenly very much calmer than before. Percy didn't really know if this was a good or a bad sign.

"About Angelique, what did he tell you?" Percy urged him to tell.

"That he saw the dark mark,..." Georges eyes suddenly grew wide in realisation "... wait a minute, you don't believe that, do you?"

"George..." Percy started.

"You... you can't be serious, she isn't one of them... she isn't" George interrupted him, suddenly getting a haunted expression on his face. He tried to convince himself of Angeliques innocence.

"George, will you calm down!" Percy approached his brother, putting a hand on Georges shoulder.

"What do you know?" George inquired coldly.

"I can't tell you" Percy bit his lip, not knowing if George could handle the truth right now.

"What the fuck are you keeping from me?" George pushed his older brother on the floor, where he landed on top of him a murderous fire in his eyes.

"George, calm down" Percy struggled to remain calm and not to hit his brother as all of his senses told him to do right now. George was loosing control.

"I won't" George said forcibly, his expression suddenly changing into something indefinable.

"You have to tell me, please" this time he said it with the voice of a five year old child.

Percy stared at his brother worried, he didn't sound very sane anymore. "George, I'm not supposed,... I'm not allowed to tell you!" he finally answered, surprised that he still sounded so calm.

George tried to entangle himself from his brother and stand up, eventually realising that he had just wanted to pick a fight with Percy. "Please, please tell me!" he rasped out.

"George" Percy started in a serious voice, coming to a decision "They already had the suspicion that something was wrong with Angelique. She came out of nowhere and behaved quite strange for a few times. Maybe Fred really saw the Mark on..."

"YOU'RE LYING!!" George yelled "You must be lying damn it!" George started kicking and punching in the general direction of his older brother, not really caring where he hit. After a great effort of avoiding Georges flying arms and legs, Percy finally managed to get the struggling teenager under control by catching him into a tight embrace immobilising his younger brother successfully.

"Shh, calm down, It'll all work out, he'll get fine" Percy whispered to his brother.

George started to cry, tears were spilling out of his eyes again and Percy stroked Georges hair slowly.

"'s my fault, 's all my fault" he croaked over and over again into Percys robes "'s all my fault" until he fell asleep, still whimpering and crying.

Percy gently lowered him onto the bed and silently watched over his two younger brothers.

Fred was still stable, maybe George had been on time and there weren't enough of the sleeping pills in Fred's organism anymore to actually kill him. He hoped they were that lucky. Ron should return with Madam Pomfrey soon, and she would be able to tell.

He stood up and walked to Fred's bed clutching the thin hand with one of his and stroking Freds soft red hair not unlike he had done it to George before.

Was he really so unobservant that he couldn't tell if one of his brother had serious problems? Or did he simply care so little. What had he been thinking about all the times when he looked at Fred.

He wasn't home as much as he used to, it was in fact a coincidence that he was here right now. He had been sent home early today, because there wasn't much work at the office right now.

Did Fred believe that they wouldn't care about him? They didn't even notice this.

His mother would blame herself too, and Ginny, would she even understand what had happened?

"What did you think?" Percy sobbed.

"What did you want to prove?"

There was no answer.

Silence.

Nothing.