Harvest Moon: The Unpredictable
One fine day in the abnormally small village that does not have anything for any human to live off of for more than 7 days, there was an old man who was a farmer. His grandson was running around in the cow pastures like a sissy. Then he got bored and went off to the village to go hit on one of the six girls in the town. When he got back, he saw a very solemn-looking man standing in front of his house. "Maryanne, I have something to tell you." He said. "Shh! Don't say my name in public! Anyway, let me guess. My grandfather died and now he is leaving me his farm to raise and run away to the Natsume Company to get rich off of six extremely cheesy farming video games. Am I right?" The man just stood staring at Maryanne. "You hit the nail on the head, sir!" And in the background that no bystanders conveniently heard, a helicopter rose up and flew away.
So, Maryanne asked the man, "Where is my 600G?" "Excuse me?" "Every time my grandfather dies, I only get 600G. It's the only way I can successfully raise this farm in three years and prevent the town from being turned into an amusement park which would probably be a lot better than this dump we're living in. Okay?" So the man handed Maryanne the 600G and Maryanne went out and spent it all on beer- sorry beef-producing cows; only to find out that he doesn't have enough money to buy one. "It seems that when Grandpa died, all of his farm animals died with him. Strange…" Maryanne went to the flower shop and bought two very expensive bags of corn and tomato seeds. He then went back to the farm and sowed the seeds. Then, filling his watering can out of the well that never runs out of water, he watered his plants and went inside to check the Oddly Accurate 6:00 News. It said tomorrow was going to be sunny. Then Maryanne went to bed, only to be woken up at 2 in the morning by Jamie, one of the girls from town. "Maryanne! I just wanted to say hi at this extremely early time so you will hate me and go hit on Amanda! Bye!" Maryanne looked out the window and she was gone.
Maryanne woke up four hours later (for the late person, that's 6:00 AM) to see two girls, Amanda and Jamie, run down the hill to Maryanne's farm. "Maryanne! You know that you like me better than that pathetic excuse for a human, Jamie!" "Don't listen to her, Maryanne! She's a lying @$$hole!" Then Jamie charged at Amanda and knocked her onto the ground. Amanda threw Jamie off of her and slammed her head onto a fencepost, knocking Jamie unconscious. "I win! Now you have to love me, Maryanne!" But then, Amanda's eyes flashed red and she said in a low, hoarse whisper, "I smell fresh meat!" And she whipped around and started gnawing on Jamie's flesh. Then Amanda tore off part of her neck with her teeth and chomped the skin into tiny pieces and swallowed them. Then, Maryanne got so mad at Amanda, he took out his ax and chopped her head off and threw them both into the ocean. "Well, that solves that problem!" And Maryanne went back to work. Soon, he raised enough money to buy a chicken. So he did. He named the chicken 'Eggbert' (ATV :)) because he was going to produce lots of eggs. Things were looking pretty good for Maryanne…
The next day, he woke up and carefully checked his hill for anybody that tried to start WW3 on his farm. When Maryanne saw that everything was okay, he watered his plants and put the chicken's egg into the incubator so it would hatch another chicken. He also fed the chicken. Then he went out and walked around. There was somebody new who came up to Maryanne and said, "I'm on the run! I can't leave any evidence with me! Here, take my fishing rod! The cops are on to me! I must escape!" Then the odd man ran along, following the river, but he accidentally tripped on a tree root and fell into the river. "Aha! This will make my escape easier! Any evidence of my presence here will be washed clean away!" Then he hit a rock and was sucked under the water. Maryanne took advantage of his new fishing rod and tried to catch some fish for some extra money. He had no luck. So, as it was beginning to get dark, Maryanne went home. On the way, he saw Jamie and Amanda's parents crying on their porches. He felt very guilty. Just before he went into his house, a stray dog came up to his door. Conveniently, there was a dog food dish right outside of Maryanne's house. He gave the dog a small fish the wacko had left behind. He named the dog Wolfgang.
The next day was a good day for the farm. Maryanne's plants had grown and he picked them and stuck them in his endlessly deep pockets. Then, checking the chicken coop, the other chicken egg had hatched. So he put one egg in the incubator and one egg he gave to Wolfgang. Then Maryanne went to sell his crops. He now had made back all of the money he had spent. At the food store, the owner's daughter, Alice, came up to Maryanne. "Hi, Maryanne!" He knew that she liked him, and he liked her too. So, that was when it happened. Alice invited Maryanne to come to the fireworks show this weekend. "You mean the one that occurs on the first of summer, instead of the first of July?" "Yeah, that one, I guess." "Okay. I'll meet you here at 2:00. Okay?" "Sure!" So Maryanne left the food store in high hopes, knowing that he was going on a date in two days. He then went to the animal store, but instead of buying an animal, he bought a dog toy for Wolfgang. He then went home and went to bed early.
When Maryanne awoke, he got a letter in his mailbox. It said, "Due to the evil thoughts of the mayor and the greedy thoughts of the townspeople, we have decided to open the mines for all villagers to use so you will sweat hard and come out of the mines into unbearably hot weather and faint from exhaustion. Happy Hunting! Signed, The Mayor." Maryanne put the letter in his pocket and decided not to go mining today, because he didn't want to risk getting sick the day before his big date. So, he went to the plant shop and bought some ingredients. Then he went home and baked a cake for tomorrow. He wanted this day to be very special. Then, disaster struck. Giant rocks started falling from the sky and landed right where his crops are supposed to grow. "That's odd. You don't see that every day. I guess I'm going to have to smash them with this solid gold mallet I keep stored in my pocket." So Maryanne spent the rest of the night smashing away rocks, and finished at a reasonable time.
One fine day in the abnormally small village that does not have anything for any human to live off of for more than 7 days, there was an old man who was a farmer. His grandson was running around in the cow pastures like a sissy. Then he got bored and went off to the village to go hit on one of the six girls in the town. When he got back, he saw a very solemn-looking man standing in front of his house. "Maryanne, I have something to tell you." He said. "Shh! Don't say my name in public! Anyway, let me guess. My grandfather died and now he is leaving me his farm to raise and run away to the Natsume Company to get rich off of six extremely cheesy farming video games. Am I right?" The man just stood staring at Maryanne. "You hit the nail on the head, sir!" And in the background that no bystanders conveniently heard, a helicopter rose up and flew away.
So, Maryanne asked the man, "Where is my 600G?" "Excuse me?" "Every time my grandfather dies, I only get 600G. It's the only way I can successfully raise this farm in three years and prevent the town from being turned into an amusement park which would probably be a lot better than this dump we're living in. Okay?" So the man handed Maryanne the 600G and Maryanne went out and spent it all on beer- sorry beef-producing cows; only to find out that he doesn't have enough money to buy one. "It seems that when Grandpa died, all of his farm animals died with him. Strange…" Maryanne went to the flower shop and bought two very expensive bags of corn and tomato seeds. He then went back to the farm and sowed the seeds. Then, filling his watering can out of the well that never runs out of water, he watered his plants and went inside to check the Oddly Accurate 6:00 News. It said tomorrow was going to be sunny. Then Maryanne went to bed, only to be woken up at 2 in the morning by Jamie, one of the girls from town. "Maryanne! I just wanted to say hi at this extremely early time so you will hate me and go hit on Amanda! Bye!" Maryanne looked out the window and she was gone.
Maryanne woke up four hours later (for the late person, that's 6:00 AM) to see two girls, Amanda and Jamie, run down the hill to Maryanne's farm. "Maryanne! You know that you like me better than that pathetic excuse for a human, Jamie!" "Don't listen to her, Maryanne! She's a lying @$$hole!" Then Jamie charged at Amanda and knocked her onto the ground. Amanda threw Jamie off of her and slammed her head onto a fencepost, knocking Jamie unconscious. "I win! Now you have to love me, Maryanne!" But then, Amanda's eyes flashed red and she said in a low, hoarse whisper, "I smell fresh meat!" And she whipped around and started gnawing on Jamie's flesh. Then Amanda tore off part of her neck with her teeth and chomped the skin into tiny pieces and swallowed them. Then, Maryanne got so mad at Amanda, he took out his ax and chopped her head off and threw them both into the ocean. "Well, that solves that problem!" And Maryanne went back to work. Soon, he raised enough money to buy a chicken. So he did. He named the chicken 'Eggbert' (ATV :)) because he was going to produce lots of eggs. Things were looking pretty good for Maryanne…
The next day, he woke up and carefully checked his hill for anybody that tried to start WW3 on his farm. When Maryanne saw that everything was okay, he watered his plants and put the chicken's egg into the incubator so it would hatch another chicken. He also fed the chicken. Then he went out and walked around. There was somebody new who came up to Maryanne and said, "I'm on the run! I can't leave any evidence with me! Here, take my fishing rod! The cops are on to me! I must escape!" Then the odd man ran along, following the river, but he accidentally tripped on a tree root and fell into the river. "Aha! This will make my escape easier! Any evidence of my presence here will be washed clean away!" Then he hit a rock and was sucked under the water. Maryanne took advantage of his new fishing rod and tried to catch some fish for some extra money. He had no luck. So, as it was beginning to get dark, Maryanne went home. On the way, he saw Jamie and Amanda's parents crying on their porches. He felt very guilty. Just before he went into his house, a stray dog came up to his door. Conveniently, there was a dog food dish right outside of Maryanne's house. He gave the dog a small fish the wacko had left behind. He named the dog Wolfgang.
The next day was a good day for the farm. Maryanne's plants had grown and he picked them and stuck them in his endlessly deep pockets. Then, checking the chicken coop, the other chicken egg had hatched. So he put one egg in the incubator and one egg he gave to Wolfgang. Then Maryanne went to sell his crops. He now had made back all of the money he had spent. At the food store, the owner's daughter, Alice, came up to Maryanne. "Hi, Maryanne!" He knew that she liked him, and he liked her too. So, that was when it happened. Alice invited Maryanne to come to the fireworks show this weekend. "You mean the one that occurs on the first of summer, instead of the first of July?" "Yeah, that one, I guess." "Okay. I'll meet you here at 2:00. Okay?" "Sure!" So Maryanne left the food store in high hopes, knowing that he was going on a date in two days. He then went to the animal store, but instead of buying an animal, he bought a dog toy for Wolfgang. He then went home and went to bed early.
When Maryanne awoke, he got a letter in his mailbox. It said, "Due to the evil thoughts of the mayor and the greedy thoughts of the townspeople, we have decided to open the mines for all villagers to use so you will sweat hard and come out of the mines into unbearably hot weather and faint from exhaustion. Happy Hunting! Signed, The Mayor." Maryanne put the letter in his pocket and decided not to go mining today, because he didn't want to risk getting sick the day before his big date. So, he went to the plant shop and bought some ingredients. Then he went home and baked a cake for tomorrow. He wanted this day to be very special. Then, disaster struck. Giant rocks started falling from the sky and landed right where his crops are supposed to grow. "That's odd. You don't see that every day. I guess I'm going to have to smash them with this solid gold mallet I keep stored in my pocket." So Maryanne spent the rest of the night smashing away rocks, and finished at a reasonable time.