TITLE: Dreams

EMAIL: red_roses@email.com

DISCLAIMER: Characters, setting, and more or less everything else belong to the marvellous J K Rowling.

RATING: R

PAIRING: Draco Malfoy / Harry Potter

FEEDBACK: Love me, love me, say that you love me... Or call me scum. Whatever.

Dreams – Chapter 4

There was no sunshine when Harry woke up the next morning.  The library was windowless, but there was torchlight that automatically lit up in the morning – that sudden appearance of light was what had startled him into waking.  What am I doing here? He wondered, and suddenly the memories came back.  The prank, the library, Draco Malfoy… Draco.  He looked at his side, and realised the warmth, the person crushed against him was indeed Draco.  They'd decided to sleep side by side to share body heat.  But then…neither had seemed to start it exactly, but they'd started kissing.  It had just felt like the right thing to do at that time, after all, he'd been in his arms, it had been warm and safe, he'd seen those lips and the face had somehow come closer than it had ever been… and, oh god, he'd kissed Draco Malfoy.  It was as if the full reality of the situation had just struck him.  Words like arch enemy, Slytherin, son of a Death Eater flitted through his mind. Still, he'd dealt with those feelings before, hadn't he?  Not really.  He'd tried to shove them away.  Unfortunately, that hadn't worked, and he was now faced with an even more worrying question – how did Draco feel about him?  Harry shook his head, unhappily.  Draco didn't like him like that, how could he?  They'd just been in the right place at the right time… and had Harry maybe, subconsciously, taken advantage of the situation?  It was likely Draco would hate him a thousand times more now. Idiot, he told himself, that was the last thing you wanted to happen, but well done, you just couldn't control yourself.  Even if he hadn't seemed to mind… no, don't even pretend you have a chance, Harry, you're kidding yourself.  He hates you, remember?  Harry rubbed his eyes hard with his hands, barely able to believe what had really happened between them.   He didn't even notice Draco waking up, until he spoke.

"What?" he looked around, confused. "Harry… library… I… you kissed me."

"Draco, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I shouldn't have…" Harry trailed off. "This shouldn't have happened.  Forget it happened, please."  Draco frowned.

"Forget?" he asked, looking surprised. "Harry, I can't forget that."  He stood up, clumsily trying to find his feet. Apparently first thing in the morning wasn't a good Malfoy time.  "I know you don't like me, but this is… how can I forget something like that?"  Of course not.  It had traumatised him, obviously.  Harry felt like an utter fool, it wasn't as if he'd just betrayed himself, he'd betrayed Draco too.

"I know I shouldn't have." Harry tried to think of what would put Draco at ease.  It was a little late for that, though, wasn't it. "I wasn't trying to… I don't know, I've never…" Yeah, Harry, what an excellent way with words you have.

"Harry, its ok." Draco didn't look him in the eye. "I know it's not like you have feelings for me, and I'm not… I don't have feelings for you.  It's just because we were together like that, it reminded you of being with… whoever.  I don't know.  I won't hold it against you, though."  Harry nodded, the reasoning made perfect sense, although he knew the only person it had reminded him of being with was Draco himself. 

"I'm sorry," he said, hoping his voice wouldn't fail him. "I need to go."

"You…" Draco sounded like he was about to stop him, but then changed his mind. "Ok."  Harry looked back at him, catching the look in his eyes.  Worry? Fear? Bewilderment, it looked like.  God, Draco must really hate him now. Harry walked quickly out of the library, trying not to break into a run.

"Harry?" Ron asked, looking at his friend. "Where have you been?  We were so worried."  Harry looked at Ron, as he sat down on his bed.  Ron hadn't seen Harry look this tired in ages. 

"I was locked in the library." Harry said, an apologetic look on his face. "I'm sorry you were worried, but I didn't mean it to happen, I just went in after him, and…"

"Oh." Ron said, sympathetically. "Wait, you mean to say that you were locked in there all night?"

"Yes." Harry fell back on his bed, looking up at the ceiling.

"With Draco Malfoy?"

"Yes." Harry replied quietly.  Ron's mouth fell open, as he realised just what might have happened.

"Oh, wow!" he said. "You were locked in together?  What happened?  You have to tell me. Or, give me the general idea, at least.  Did you…"

"Ron, forget about it, ok?" Harry sounded more than tired, now.  Ron wondered what had gone on to make his friend so unhappy.  Clearly, this hadn't been a sordid night of passion, or Harry would have had a mile-wide grin on his face.  And clearly something had gone on.  "He hates me." Harry said, almost too quiet to hear.  Ron shook his head sadly, he'd hoped against hope that Harry wouldn't get hurt by Malfoy, but in the way of inevitable things…

"I'm sorry, Harry." Ron said, sincerely. "Here, wrap up and get some sleep."  He gave Harry a warm blanket, and Harry tried to look grateful, but he was clearly too hurt to really feel it.  Ron left the dorm, and went down for breakfast, a frown firmly stuck on his face. 

Draco, returning to his dorm, sat down on his bed feeling very annoyed.  Well he, for one, had enjoyed last night.  It had felt good in Harry's arms; it had felt right to him.  How could such a great feeling only be one-sided?  Nobody in the dorm asked where he had been all night, although he could see a few of them wondering.  Let them think he'd got laid, he decided.  At least they wouldn't have to know that he'd kissed his worst enemy, and was now feeling terrible about it.  Why it mattered so much to him, he didn't know.  Perhaps because the only other real kiss he'd ever had was with Pansy – two bloody years ago – and he'd told her to piss off not long afterwards because he'd felt sick of the sight of her.  It had been ok, but nothing like last night's kiss with Harry.  Perhaps it was because he'd never even considered that he might be attracted to another male before, and now that he was, he didn't want it thrown back in his face in this way.  But the unavoidable truth remained.  He'd kissed Harry Potter – it had been good at the time – better than good, it had been one of the best moments of his life… He shoved away his thoughts angrily, and kicked a book across the room.  It had been good at the time, yes, but it was over now.  Some things weren't meant to be.  He laughed, and shook his head.  Of course it wasn't meant to be.  They were enemies, and they had been since first year, if there was any bad choice of person he could have fallen for, Harry Potter was it.  So why did it bother him so much that it hadn't worked out?  This didn't feel like a case of simple lust.  It was too painful for that.  He walked over to the mirror, shocked to see how stressed he looked.  He had to pull himself together, show the world that nothing was wrong.  He was a Malfoy, and he had pride, and he wasn't about to act hurt over something like this.  It hadn't worked, but life was like that sometimes, and he could deal with it.  He waited until breakfast was over, and then walked out, determined to show a brave face to the world.

A/N: I know, this is shorter than the other chapters, and a lot more angstful.  I think I'll have one more chapter, and it'll be posted up soon (promise).  Keep reviewing!  Or I might just decide that Harry falls for Hermione...

Well, not really.