****
Your friendly neighborhood author here. Just a note! I hope you enjoy this songfic; it took me a good five days to write it. This is a ZAGR (or 'Zazshippy' if you wanna use my messed-up word for it). Don't like it? Don't read it! Read it? Review it!
I lay no claim to anyone here...yeah, I guess the nurse and "Sherry" are mine. And no, Sherry is not a self-insertion. I just needed someone to talk to Gaz. ****
Weird
Isn't it weird? Isn't it strange?
'Sixteen as of yesterday,' Gaz thought to herself the moment she woke up. 'It doesn't feel special at all.'
She sat up in her small twin bed and rubbed her eyes. The day before stood out like a sore thumb in her memory. The day she had turned sixteen, and she was supposed to be..."sweet". Sweet?
"Hardly," she muttered to herself as she swung her legs over the side of the bed and treid to stand up. As she sat there, trying to compose herself, her thoughts drifted to the previous day...
*
A large cake, covered in electric purple frosting...blood red balloons...candles flaming in the middle of a table graced with a vew few presents. A few people she knew from her Humanities I class had shown up, but mostly the people there were friends of Dib. They had really only just used her birthday as an excuse to have a go with Dib's lab.
Gaz examined the presents, checking the nametags. There was a gift from Dib, and one from a girl that sat beside her in class, named Sherry. 'Of course,' she thought, 'Dad wouldn't have remembered to send one.' She and Dib had moved into the small house only a week earlier, much to their father's delight at not having to worry his life with their presence anymore.
Her eyes moved then to a thin, rectangular-shaped box covered haphazardly with tiny bits of paper and tied across with a peice of black yarn. There was no nametag. She picked it up and turned it over in her ands, looking for any sign of who sent it. There was a minute letter scribbled in what looked like the hand of someone who had only just learned to write. She looked into the crowd of Dib's friends, then back at the letter. 'N'? No, it didn't look much like an 'n'. But if you turned it the other way...
"A 'z'?" she whispered, looking again around the room for anyone...
There. In the corner, staring over at Dib through narrow blue eyes. He was the only one with a name beginning with a 'z'.
Even though we're just two strangers on this runaway train
Gaz pulled the black yarn over the top of the present and tore away the mismatched paper. Inside was the very hard-to-find Japanese import of her favorite video game. She gasped, a very quiet sound in the talkative room, but enough to get his attention. He looked over at her, and saw that she had opened the gift. His eyes widened, and a strange light grey color brushed lightly across his face.
Gaz stood up and attempted to cross the room, but Sherry stopped her and began talking animatedly. Gaz tried to see over the loud girl's shoulder, but was just a bit too short. Sherry noticed this and looked in the same direction.
"Scoping out one of your brother's friends? I think your brother is hot."
"Dib, hot? Ewww," Gaz replied distractedly. She dodged around Sherry and again headed on her mission.
He was looking nervous as she approached, and he flattened his gloved hangs against the wall as though he could disappear into it. His eyes darted nervously from her face to the video game in her hand, and back again.
She bit her lip a moment; Dib was one of the only boys she'd ever talked to, and she wasn't much of an expert at it. She thought of something good to say to him, trying not to sound like a mere Sophomore to this person, a Junior.
"Umm...did you get me this?" she asked timidly.
He nodded slowly.
"Thanks."
"No problem, Gaz."
"...Zim?"
"Huh?"
She paused. "Why'd you give me this?"
"You...well...you always look..." He stopped to search for the right word. "Lonely."
Gaz hung her head. Even Zim noticed how alone she was...
We're both trying to find a place in the sun
We've lived in the shadows, but doesn't everyone?
"I know that feeling," he offered quickly. "Like you don't really belong. Like maybe there's--"
"Another world somewhere," Gaz murmured. "Where you don't feel like just an empty body with nothing to make you someone special." She looked up at him again quickly.
"Yeah," he said quietly. "That's it exactly."
The two of them simply stood a moment, glancing a few times at the other people in the small room. There were so many things Gaz wanted to ask Zim, but she couldn't decide where to start, or how to say them. She was glad when he again spoke up.
"You know, Dib didn't really invite me. I snuck in. I don't think he knows I'm here."
"He doesn't like you. I don't understand why; you're nicer than some of the jerks he hangs out with." 'Woah, did I just compliment him?' she thought immediately. 'Where did that come from?'
Zim seemed to be thinking hard about something. "Well," he replied presently, "I guess that's just one of many things you don't know about me. Oh, and I'm not as nice as you think."
"And I know more than you think." Her eyes narrowed. "You have spaceships; I escaped from one of them once, remember?"
"That was not you!" his voice squeaked as it rose. "That was a little short girl, kind of mean-natured!"
She raised her eyebrows. "Dib's little sister. That was me; I can't believe you don't remember."
"Well, excuse me for trying to forget when a little human female got the better of an Irken invader!" He instantly clapped his hands over his mouth, too late to stop what he said. Gaz didn't say anything, she simply gave him a look of superiority.
He narrowed his eyes, and just for a moment, he looked quite menacing. "You'd best not tell anyone," he growled.
"Who'd believe me? Or care? I mean, come on...I'm taller than you."
"Not by much!" he squeaked again. Gaz laughed, not a lot, but just enough to show that she meant no harm. Zim's face softened a bit.
Isn't is strange how we all get a little bit weird sometimes?
"I'd like to know more about your race," she said in a near whisper. "I don't really have any friends to learn about."
He shook his head. "Neither do I. I guess it wouldn't hurt to tell you...just a little bit. But don't say any of this to Dib."
"Dib already knows."
"But he doesn't know everything."
"Oh...okay."
From the middle of his group of friends, Dib had just noticed that his sister was actually enjoying talking to someone. He had always worried that she had no friends to hang out with, and for a split-second he was glad that she was at least talking to someone. Until he saw who it was. Anger passed across his face, but he held it in for the sake of not wanting to have to explain anything to his friends about why he was so angry. They laughed when he tried to tell them about Zim.
Zim was calmly explaining a few Irken basics to Gaz, both of them oblivious to Dib's watchful gaze. However, as Zim began explaining Irken weaknesses, such as their burning due to water, Gaz began to realize just how cruel Dib had actually been those few ago, and she began to worry that he would see them talking and do something stupid.
Isn't it hard standing in the rain?
When Zim paused to see if she was still interested, she took the oppurtunity to express her worry.
He made a face at her. "If you really want to talk to me...I'll be sure Dib doesn't interfere."
Gaz thought a moment. "I really do want to talk with you," she affirmed. He smiled, a bigger smile than she'd ever seen grace his face. For someone so different, he really had a nice smile.
But was he really that different?
"You look like you're thinking hard," he pointed out.
"Just thinking how...if some people knew about you, they'd think you were awfully different. But I do know about you, and i think you are just like me."
"How can I be like you?"
She smiled a good-sized smile in return for his. "We're both alone. Neither of us has any friends, or lovers, or even anyone to tag along with to the mall on weekends. But it's just something special I guess, that we can be alone together."
"I guess I can understand that. It's hard to not ever have anyone to talk to."
"Yeah, I know..." she looked at her feet. "I don't feel sixteen."
"You look it. You're tall enough."
"But when you're sixteen, you're supposed to get your driver's liscence, have a big party, and get kissed. You aren't supposed to worry that your brother is going to show his violent side all because he doesn't trust you talking to someone."
Zim was taking this all in, listening intently. According to human years, he was already seventeen--much of an adult to Irkens. He had no idea that this was how humans went about celebrating a sixteenth birthday.
"Do you have a driver's liscence?"
"Yes, but no car to use it on."
Zim looked around the room. It looked like a big enough party to him. So, in order for her to feel like she was sixteen, all she needed was a kiss. He wanted her to enjoy this day...
What was he thinking? Was he losing his mind? He felt sorry for her! He must have been crazy!
You're on the verge of going crazy, and your heart's in pain
"Oh well," Gaz sighed. "Maybe I'll feel sixteen tomorrow."
"Maybe so."
They both artfully kept from making eye contact as the conversation lagged. The candles on the cake still burned, and two small presents remained unopened.
And still Dib watched. Most of his friends had been ignoring him, sensing the bad vibes he was giving off. He felt as though he was staring a hole through the culprit and his very own sister. How could she? And why was Zim here anyway? The more he thought about it, the angrier Dib got. Though he didn't have much of an idea what he was going to do, he knew he had to do something. He stood there, thinking of all the horrible things he could do...he knew where there were some water balloons...
It wasn't until Zim crossed the line that Dib snappd. It wasn't much of a movement, hardly anything, possibly not even intentional. But it did happen. The black glove of Zim's hand lightly brushed against the pale white of Gaz's. They both looked at each other, Gaz blushing lightly pink and Zim blushing his strange light grey. That was all it took. Dib ran like a wild man across the room, knocking over the punch bowl, the folding chairs, and the cake. He tackled Zim and knocked him to the floor, the two of them fighting as little children might over a bit of candy.
Everyone in the room stood staring at the fight, watching as the two attempted to kill each other. It was because of this distraction that no one, at least for awhile, noticed the small orange glow that started at the spilled candles and danced its mirthless dance across the floor and up the wall of the tiny house.
Sherry was the first to notice. "Do you smell smoke?" she asked one of Dib's friends. The boy jerked his head up and twirled around to see flames leping into the air...!
Sherry screamed and ran for the back door, followed closely by Dib's friends. None of them seemed to notice, or to care, that the "birthday girl" stood, horrified, in the midst of the flame, watching her brother and her friend duke it out, all because Dib did not trust Zim with her! All she could manage to do was stare at the battle.
At one point, flames now licking their ankles, Dib gained the upper hand. He hefted Zim up by the collar and flung him as hard as he could back away from Gaz. Zim stumbled, and was instantly lost in the flame and smoke.
"Zim!" Gaz yelled, forgetting all sense and charging in after him. She suddenly found herself surrounded in thick black smoke and falling, flaming pieces of the house. She fell to her knees in a wracking cough, and her hand rested on something long and thin. Her watered eyes focused on what looked like an overgrown grasshopper's antannae. She followed it to the head it belonged to.
"Oh, Zim," she whispered, crawling over to his side. She shook in another coughing fit.
Dib approached her, crouching down beside her and closely examining Zim.
"We have to get out of here," he coughed after a moment. "We're going to be killed."
"I'm not leaving him here!" she choked out in reply.
"He's an alien!"
"I don't care; I like him!" She suddenly gasped and tried to get air into her lungs, but none would come. Beside her, she heard Dib doing the same as the final frame of the house collapsed around them.
No one can hear, but you're screaming so loud
You feel like you're all alone in a faceless crowd
Isn't it strange how we all get a little bit weird sometimes?
*
Tears again flooded Gaz's eyes as she reached that horrible time when her memory faded, the time when she had been told that she had passed out. It was amazing that she had survived, she had been told. She managed to get out of that fire with only a slight breathing challenge--still rough now, but likely to clear up in the future.
She didn't cry for herself. She cried that none of her brother's friends cared enough to help them escape the fire. She cried that her sixteenth birthday had been completely ruined. She cried for her brother, who rested in the room next to hers, hooked up to various breathing machines, or so she had been told. She cried because she hated hospitals, and now was stuck in one.
Mostly, though, Gaze cried because, only for a moment, she'd been in love. But now...again, tears stung her smoke-irritated eyes upon the thought of poor Zim, lying in intensive care, everyone suddenly knowing the truth about him...the doctors would see the x-rays, and everything would all come crashing down...she could just imagine it now. All that would be left of him would be pictures, professional essays, television documentaries. She knew there were people just as greedy for attention as her brother, who would stop at nothing to be the name forever attaced to the discovery of an alien.
For a moment, she considered running into the intensive care unit and sneaking out with him. But, she remembered, he had been nearly dead when she found him the fire. If she snuck him out, he'd likely die.
Then another thought crossed her mind. At least if he died, they wouldn't be able to hurt him anymore. It was a horrible thought, but the whole thing was like choosing the worst of two evils. She buried her face in her hands, trying to decide...
She wanted to give Dib a piece of her mind, too. 'If he doesn't die from this,' she thought, 'I'll kill him.' Why did he have to distrust Zim like that? Zim wasn't dangerous...granted, she supposed, he likely could be...but he wasn't!
She grabbed the white hospital pillow and hugged it to her, sobbing into it. She gasped for air a moment, her lungs still scarred from the previous night.
If only she could see Zim again...oh, that's all she wanted, to see him and to thank him, to apologize for her brother, to hold his hand and see if he was allright or not.
He was the only one who understood her. They were "alone together". Even though they were both unpopular, both strange, at least they had a common ground. And they were friends, even after only a short conversation. He had broken through her tough outer shell, and she had seen his true form, when he lost his blue contacts and the fake wig had been scorched from his head.
Sitting on the side, waiting for a sign, hoping that my luck will change
Reaching for a hand that will understand, someone who feels the same
When you live in a cookie-cutter world, being different is a sin
So you don't stand out, but you don't fit in
Weird
She heard the door open, but didn't turn to see who it was. The ignored person moved slowly and with a cane, limping heavily over to sit beside her. He sat next to her and coughed a terrible rattling cough.
"Go away, Dib," she growled,something she had grown used to over the years.
"No."
"Yes!"
"Not until you hear me out," he rasped.
"Fine. You ruined my birthday, go on and ruin today too."
"I just wanted to apologize. I didn't mean to ruin your day, I just didn't want you to be hurt by Zim."
"I ended up being hurt, Dib. Physically and emotionally."
Dib hung his head. "I know...they just got his x-rays back. Everyone was running around crazy out there, shouting to go see the inhuman pictures."
"Oh, no," Gaz sobbed. "This is all your fault! I hope you're happy; I liked him so much, and now they're going to kill him!"
"I think you should go and see him, Gaz. Because...you're right. If the fire didn't kill him, I know the scientists and doctors will. At one time, this was my dream. I had to see Zim under a knife, had to be a part of his demise. I never knew you'd start liking him so much. Part of me still hates him, and wants him to be killed. But part of me really feels bad about this..."
"All of me feels terrible about it!" Gaz wailed. "And I bet they won't let me go see him now that all this has happened."
"I'll be sure of that," Dib promised, heaving his thin, shaking body up on the wooden cane. He used his free hand to grab his sister's wrist and slowly they walked together, out of the room and down the hallway to the intensive care unit.
Dib stopped in front of a doctor who stood at the door. "My sister would like to see the alien."
"You'd better have a good excuse," the doctor frowned.
"I've known about him for years," Dib answered. "He was friends with my sister."
The doctor shrugged. "Just for a second, then," he allowed, opening the door and letting them enter the brightly-lit room.
It was very white, all lit in pale glows of examination lamps. Machines beeped from around the room, but currently only one other person sat in the room: a kind-faced elderly nurse who patted Zim's arm before facing the siblings.
"It seems a shame, how badly they're going to treat this boy," she sighed. "But I don't expect he's going to live much longer anyway." She grew an alarmed expression when Gaz dissolved into tears again.
Sitting on the side, waiting for a sign, hoping that my luck will change
Reaching for a hand that will understand, someone who feels the same
When you live in a cookie-cutter world, if you're different, you can't win
So you don't stand out, but you don't fit in
"I take it you were friends with him?" the nurse asked, putting an arm around Gaz. Dib glanced at this, for Gaz was very unused to being hugged. His sister simply nodded and walked over to Zim's bed. Dib watched, uneasy, knowing Gaz could take this into either a violent anger or a depressed sadness.
Bleakly she sat on the side of the bed. Her reddened eyes took in the whole scene, the look of pure pain etched on Zim's face. Her hands found his, and she bent closer to him. She pulled back away from him almost instantly, however, blushing at her uncharacteristic show of emotions. In fact, she realized, she shouldn't be acting so much like she cared. That wasn't like her at all. Perhaps in later years she would chalk it up to hormones. She looked over her shoulder at Dib, who stood next to the nurse as they both watched.
"I shouldn't be acting like this," she pointed out. 'I never act like this. I never cry over anyone."
"You cried over Mom," Dib answered slowly. "You were little, but I remember it."
"I haven't cried ever since then. I never even bothered to get close to anyone after that."
"What?...Wait, are you saying that the whole reason you never made friends was because of Mom?"
"There's no reason to get close to anybody!" she shouted suddenly. "The only thing that ever comes from relationships is sadness!"
The elderly nurse spoke up. "I don't think that's true."
"Of course it is," Gaz snapped. "I loved my mother, and she died. I should have known better than to ever even talk to Zim."
"But just think," the nurse pressed on, "if you hadn't talked to him, all this might have happened, and you never would have known how much you liked him. Wouldn't it be better to have some time with him than none at all?"
Gaz sat in thought a moment. Eventually, she offered a slight nod and even a tiny smile.
"Hey, look," Dib said just then, gesturing toward Zim. He had slightly opened his eyes, but that expression of pain still contorted his face. He glared as best he could a Dib upon seeing him.
"Congratulations, Dib," he rasped in a thick, but weak, voice. "You won."
"I didn't want to win like this," was Dib's reply. "Besides, now Gaz is really worried."
Zim's glare turned to wonder at that statement. He turned his head just a little to look at Gaz, who still stood next to his bed. His eyes rolled a moment with the strain of so small a movement. Gaz found herself kneeling next to the bed, gripping his hand and wishing for his pain to ease.
"Fire," he explained to her very slowly, "is not good for Irkens."
"It's not good for humans either," she replied.
He shut his eyes and tried to get a deep breath, but the only thing he could manage was a shallow gasp. Gaz forced no tears to spill from her eyes.
Isn't it strange how we all get a little bit weird?
Strange how we all get a little bit
Strange how we all feel a little bit weird sometimes
"I'm so very sorry, Zim," she whispered.
He opened his eyes again, looking up at her and holding his eye contact as long as possible. Then it was as though the worst of the pain hit him. Again he squeezed his eyes closed, and he tighted his grip on her hand.
Dib walked over to stand beside her, able to tell that something was happening. The nurse simply left the room.
Gaz watched Zim's hurting form twitch a moment, just a very quick moment, before his tense face and tight fist relaxed. It only took that very quick moment for him to be gone from her. Gaz turned her head; she could not stand to look any longer.
"Gaz..." Dib began. Not finding the words he needed so badly to comfort her with, he put a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry...it's all my fault."
She looked up at him and drew a shaky breath. her eyes glistened with their salty rim of tears.
Just a little bit weird sometimes
**** Don't forget to reply!
I lay no claim to anyone here...yeah, I guess the nurse and "Sherry" are mine. And no, Sherry is not a self-insertion. I just needed someone to talk to Gaz. ****
Isn't it weird? Isn't it strange?
'Sixteen as of yesterday,' Gaz thought to herself the moment she woke up. 'It doesn't feel special at all.'
She sat up in her small twin bed and rubbed her eyes. The day before stood out like a sore thumb in her memory. The day she had turned sixteen, and she was supposed to be..."sweet". Sweet?
"Hardly," she muttered to herself as she swung her legs over the side of the bed and treid to stand up. As she sat there, trying to compose herself, her thoughts drifted to the previous day...
A large cake, covered in electric purple frosting...blood red balloons...candles flaming in the middle of a table graced with a vew few presents. A few people she knew from her Humanities I class had shown up, but mostly the people there were friends of Dib. They had really only just used her birthday as an excuse to have a go with Dib's lab.
Gaz examined the presents, checking the nametags. There was a gift from Dib, and one from a girl that sat beside her in class, named Sherry. 'Of course,' she thought, 'Dad wouldn't have remembered to send one.' She and Dib had moved into the small house only a week earlier, much to their father's delight at not having to worry his life with their presence anymore.
Her eyes moved then to a thin, rectangular-shaped box covered haphazardly with tiny bits of paper and tied across with a peice of black yarn. There was no nametag. She picked it up and turned it over in her ands, looking for any sign of who sent it. There was a minute letter scribbled in what looked like the hand of someone who had only just learned to write. She looked into the crowd of Dib's friends, then back at the letter. 'N'? No, it didn't look much like an 'n'. But if you turned it the other way...
"A 'z'?" she whispered, looking again around the room for anyone...
There. In the corner, staring over at Dib through narrow blue eyes. He was the only one with a name beginning with a 'z'.
Gaz pulled the black yarn over the top of the present and tore away the mismatched paper. Inside was the very hard-to-find Japanese import of her favorite video game. She gasped, a very quiet sound in the talkative room, but enough to get his attention. He looked over at her, and saw that she had opened the gift. His eyes widened, and a strange light grey color brushed lightly across his face.
Gaz stood up and attempted to cross the room, but Sherry stopped her and began talking animatedly. Gaz tried to see over the loud girl's shoulder, but was just a bit too short. Sherry noticed this and looked in the same direction.
"Scoping out one of your brother's friends? I think your brother is hot."
"Dib, hot? Ewww," Gaz replied distractedly. She dodged around Sherry and again headed on her mission.
He was looking nervous as she approached, and he flattened his gloved hangs against the wall as though he could disappear into it. His eyes darted nervously from her face to the video game in her hand, and back again.
She bit her lip a moment; Dib was one of the only boys she'd ever talked to, and she wasn't much of an expert at it. She thought of something good to say to him, trying not to sound like a mere Sophomore to this person, a Junior.
"Umm...did you get me this?" she asked timidly.
He nodded slowly.
"Thanks."
"No problem, Gaz."
"...Zim?"
"Huh?"
She paused. "Why'd you give me this?"
"You...well...you always look..." He stopped to search for the right word. "Lonely."
Gaz hung her head. Even Zim noticed how alone she was...
We've lived in the shadows, but doesn't everyone?
"I know that feeling," he offered quickly. "Like you don't really belong. Like maybe there's--"
"Another world somewhere," Gaz murmured. "Where you don't feel like just an empty body with nothing to make you someone special." She looked up at him again quickly.
"Yeah," he said quietly. "That's it exactly."
The two of them simply stood a moment, glancing a few times at the other people in the small room. There were so many things Gaz wanted to ask Zim, but she couldn't decide where to start, or how to say them. She was glad when he again spoke up.
"You know, Dib didn't really invite me. I snuck in. I don't think he knows I'm here."
"He doesn't like you. I don't understand why; you're nicer than some of the jerks he hangs out with." 'Woah, did I just compliment him?' she thought immediately. 'Where did that come from?'
Zim seemed to be thinking hard about something. "Well," he replied presently, "I guess that's just one of many things you don't know about me. Oh, and I'm not as nice as you think."
"And I know more than you think." Her eyes narrowed. "You have spaceships; I escaped from one of them once, remember?"
"That was not you!" his voice squeaked as it rose. "That was a little short girl, kind of mean-natured!"
She raised her eyebrows. "Dib's little sister. That was me; I can't believe you don't remember."
"Well, excuse me for trying to forget when a little human female got the better of an Irken invader!" He instantly clapped his hands over his mouth, too late to stop what he said. Gaz didn't say anything, she simply gave him a look of superiority.
He narrowed his eyes, and just for a moment, he looked quite menacing. "You'd best not tell anyone," he growled.
"Who'd believe me? Or care? I mean, come on...I'm taller than you."
"Not by much!" he squeaked again. Gaz laughed, not a lot, but just enough to show that she meant no harm. Zim's face softened a bit.
"I'd like to know more about your race," she said in a near whisper. "I don't really have any friends to learn about."
He shook his head. "Neither do I. I guess it wouldn't hurt to tell you...just a little bit. But don't say any of this to Dib."
"Dib already knows."
"But he doesn't know everything."
"Oh...okay."
From the middle of his group of friends, Dib had just noticed that his sister was actually enjoying talking to someone. He had always worried that she had no friends to hang out with, and for a split-second he was glad that she was at least talking to someone. Until he saw who it was. Anger passed across his face, but he held it in for the sake of not wanting to have to explain anything to his friends about why he was so angry. They laughed when he tried to tell them about Zim.
Zim was calmly explaining a few Irken basics to Gaz, both of them oblivious to Dib's watchful gaze. However, as Zim began explaining Irken weaknesses, such as their burning due to water, Gaz began to realize just how cruel Dib had actually been those few ago, and she began to worry that he would see them talking and do something stupid.
When Zim paused to see if she was still interested, she took the oppurtunity to express her worry.
He made a face at her. "If you really want to talk to me...I'll be sure Dib doesn't interfere."
Gaz thought a moment. "I really do want to talk with you," she affirmed. He smiled, a bigger smile than she'd ever seen grace his face. For someone so different, he really had a nice smile.
But was he really that different?
"You look like you're thinking hard," he pointed out.
"Just thinking how...if some people knew about you, they'd think you were awfully different. But I do know about you, and i think you are just like me."
"How can I be like you?"
She smiled a good-sized smile in return for his. "We're both alone. Neither of us has any friends, or lovers, or even anyone to tag along with to the mall on weekends. But it's just something special I guess, that we can be alone together."
"I guess I can understand that. It's hard to not ever have anyone to talk to."
"Yeah, I know..." she looked at her feet. "I don't feel sixteen."
"You look it. You're tall enough."
"But when you're sixteen, you're supposed to get your driver's liscence, have a big party, and get kissed. You aren't supposed to worry that your brother is going to show his violent side all because he doesn't trust you talking to someone."
Zim was taking this all in, listening intently. According to human years, he was already seventeen--much of an adult to Irkens. He had no idea that this was how humans went about celebrating a sixteenth birthday.
"Do you have a driver's liscence?"
"Yes, but no car to use it on."
Zim looked around the room. It looked like a big enough party to him. So, in order for her to feel like she was sixteen, all she needed was a kiss. He wanted her to enjoy this day...
What was he thinking? Was he losing his mind? He felt sorry for her! He must have been crazy!
"Oh well," Gaz sighed. "Maybe I'll feel sixteen tomorrow."
"Maybe so."
They both artfully kept from making eye contact as the conversation lagged. The candles on the cake still burned, and two small presents remained unopened.
And still Dib watched. Most of his friends had been ignoring him, sensing the bad vibes he was giving off. He felt as though he was staring a hole through the culprit and his very own sister. How could she? And why was Zim here anyway? The more he thought about it, the angrier Dib got. Though he didn't have much of an idea what he was going to do, he knew he had to do something. He stood there, thinking of all the horrible things he could do...he knew where there were some water balloons...
It wasn't until Zim crossed the line that Dib snappd. It wasn't much of a movement, hardly anything, possibly not even intentional. But it did happen. The black glove of Zim's hand lightly brushed against the pale white of Gaz's. They both looked at each other, Gaz blushing lightly pink and Zim blushing his strange light grey. That was all it took. Dib ran like a wild man across the room, knocking over the punch bowl, the folding chairs, and the cake. He tackled Zim and knocked him to the floor, the two of them fighting as little children might over a bit of candy.
Everyone in the room stood staring at the fight, watching as the two attempted to kill each other. It was because of this distraction that no one, at least for awhile, noticed the small orange glow that started at the spilled candles and danced its mirthless dance across the floor and up the wall of the tiny house.
Sherry was the first to notice. "Do you smell smoke?" she asked one of Dib's friends. The boy jerked his head up and twirled around to see flames leping into the air...!
Sherry screamed and ran for the back door, followed closely by Dib's friends. None of them seemed to notice, or to care, that the "birthday girl" stood, horrified, in the midst of the flame, watching her brother and her friend duke it out, all because Dib did not trust Zim with her! All she could manage to do was stare at the battle.
At one point, flames now licking their ankles, Dib gained the upper hand. He hefted Zim up by the collar and flung him as hard as he could back away from Gaz. Zim stumbled, and was instantly lost in the flame and smoke.
"Zim!" Gaz yelled, forgetting all sense and charging in after him. She suddenly found herself surrounded in thick black smoke and falling, flaming pieces of the house. She fell to her knees in a wracking cough, and her hand rested on something long and thin. Her watered eyes focused on what looked like an overgrown grasshopper's antannae. She followed it to the head it belonged to.
"Oh, Zim," she whispered, crawling over to his side. She shook in another coughing fit.
Dib approached her, crouching down beside her and closely examining Zim.
"We have to get out of here," he coughed after a moment. "We're going to be killed."
"I'm not leaving him here!" she choked out in reply.
"He's an alien!"
"I don't care; I like him!" She suddenly gasped and tried to get air into her lungs, but none would come. Beside her, she heard Dib doing the same as the final frame of the house collapsed around them.
You feel like you're all alone in a faceless crowd
Isn't it strange how we all get a little bit weird sometimes?
*
Tears again flooded Gaz's eyes as she reached that horrible time when her memory faded, the time when she had been told that she had passed out. It was amazing that she had survived, she had been told. She managed to get out of that fire with only a slight breathing challenge--still rough now, but likely to clear up in the future.
She didn't cry for herself. She cried that none of her brother's friends cared enough to help them escape the fire. She cried that her sixteenth birthday had been completely ruined. She cried for her brother, who rested in the room next to hers, hooked up to various breathing machines, or so she had been told. She cried because she hated hospitals, and now was stuck in one.
Mostly, though, Gaze cried because, only for a moment, she'd been in love. But now...again, tears stung her smoke-irritated eyes upon the thought of poor Zim, lying in intensive care, everyone suddenly knowing the truth about him...the doctors would see the x-rays, and everything would all come crashing down...she could just imagine it now. All that would be left of him would be pictures, professional essays, television documentaries. She knew there were people just as greedy for attention as her brother, who would stop at nothing to be the name forever attaced to the discovery of an alien.
For a moment, she considered running into the intensive care unit and sneaking out with him. But, she remembered, he had been nearly dead when she found him the fire. If she snuck him out, he'd likely die.
Then another thought crossed her mind. At least if he died, they wouldn't be able to hurt him anymore. It was a horrible thought, but the whole thing was like choosing the worst of two evils. She buried her face in her hands, trying to decide...
She wanted to give Dib a piece of her mind, too. 'If he doesn't die from this,' she thought, 'I'll kill him.' Why did he have to distrust Zim like that? Zim wasn't dangerous...granted, she supposed, he likely could be...but he wasn't!
She grabbed the white hospital pillow and hugged it to her, sobbing into it. She gasped for air a moment, her lungs still scarred from the previous night.
If only she could see Zim again...oh, that's all she wanted, to see him and to thank him, to apologize for her brother, to hold his hand and see if he was allright or not.
He was the only one who understood her. They were "alone together". Even though they were both unpopular, both strange, at least they had a common ground. And they were friends, even after only a short conversation. He had broken through her tough outer shell, and she had seen his true form, when he lost his blue contacts and the fake wig had been scorched from his head.
Reaching for a hand that will understand, someone who feels the same
When you live in a cookie-cutter world, being different is a sin
So you don't stand out, but you don't fit in
Weird
She heard the door open, but didn't turn to see who it was. The ignored person moved slowly and with a cane, limping heavily over to sit beside her. He sat next to her and coughed a terrible rattling cough.
"Go away, Dib," she growled,something she had grown used to over the years.
"No."
"Yes!"
"Not until you hear me out," he rasped.
"Fine. You ruined my birthday, go on and ruin today too."
"I just wanted to apologize. I didn't mean to ruin your day, I just didn't want you to be hurt by Zim."
"I ended up being hurt, Dib. Physically and emotionally."
Dib hung his head. "I know...they just got his x-rays back. Everyone was running around crazy out there, shouting to go see the inhuman pictures."
"Oh, no," Gaz sobbed. "This is all your fault! I hope you're happy; I liked him so much, and now they're going to kill him!"
"I think you should go and see him, Gaz. Because...you're right. If the fire didn't kill him, I know the scientists and doctors will. At one time, this was my dream. I had to see Zim under a knife, had to be a part of his demise. I never knew you'd start liking him so much. Part of me still hates him, and wants him to be killed. But part of me really feels bad about this..."
"All of me feels terrible about it!" Gaz wailed. "And I bet they won't let me go see him now that all this has happened."
"I'll be sure of that," Dib promised, heaving his thin, shaking body up on the wooden cane. He used his free hand to grab his sister's wrist and slowly they walked together, out of the room and down the hallway to the intensive care unit.
Dib stopped in front of a doctor who stood at the door. "My sister would like to see the alien."
"You'd better have a good excuse," the doctor frowned.
"I've known about him for years," Dib answered. "He was friends with my sister."
The doctor shrugged. "Just for a second, then," he allowed, opening the door and letting them enter the brightly-lit room.
It was very white, all lit in pale glows of examination lamps. Machines beeped from around the room, but currently only one other person sat in the room: a kind-faced elderly nurse who patted Zim's arm before facing the siblings.
"It seems a shame, how badly they're going to treat this boy," she sighed. "But I don't expect he's going to live much longer anyway." She grew an alarmed expression when Gaz dissolved into tears again.
Reaching for a hand that will understand, someone who feels the same
When you live in a cookie-cutter world, if you're different, you can't win
So you don't stand out, but you don't fit in
"I take it you were friends with him?" the nurse asked, putting an arm around Gaz. Dib glanced at this, for Gaz was very unused to being hugged. His sister simply nodded and walked over to Zim's bed. Dib watched, uneasy, knowing Gaz could take this into either a violent anger or a depressed sadness.
Bleakly she sat on the side of the bed. Her reddened eyes took in the whole scene, the look of pure pain etched on Zim's face. Her hands found his, and she bent closer to him. She pulled back away from him almost instantly, however, blushing at her uncharacteristic show of emotions. In fact, she realized, she shouldn't be acting so much like she cared. That wasn't like her at all. Perhaps in later years she would chalk it up to hormones. She looked over her shoulder at Dib, who stood next to the nurse as they both watched.
"I shouldn't be acting like this," she pointed out. 'I never act like this. I never cry over anyone."
"You cried over Mom," Dib answered slowly. "You were little, but I remember it."
"I haven't cried ever since then. I never even bothered to get close to anyone after that."
"What?...Wait, are you saying that the whole reason you never made friends was because of Mom?"
"There's no reason to get close to anybody!" she shouted suddenly. "The only thing that ever comes from relationships is sadness!"
The elderly nurse spoke up. "I don't think that's true."
"Of course it is," Gaz snapped. "I loved my mother, and she died. I should have known better than to ever even talk to Zim."
"But just think," the nurse pressed on, "if you hadn't talked to him, all this might have happened, and you never would have known how much you liked him. Wouldn't it be better to have some time with him than none at all?"
Gaz sat in thought a moment. Eventually, she offered a slight nod and even a tiny smile.
"Hey, look," Dib said just then, gesturing toward Zim. He had slightly opened his eyes, but that expression of pain still contorted his face. He glared as best he could a Dib upon seeing him.
"Congratulations, Dib," he rasped in a thick, but weak, voice. "You won."
"I didn't want to win like this," was Dib's reply. "Besides, now Gaz is really worried."
Zim's glare turned to wonder at that statement. He turned his head just a little to look at Gaz, who still stood next to his bed. His eyes rolled a moment with the strain of so small a movement. Gaz found herself kneeling next to the bed, gripping his hand and wishing for his pain to ease.
"Fire," he explained to her very slowly, "is not good for Irkens."
"It's not good for humans either," she replied.
He shut his eyes and tried to get a deep breath, but the only thing he could manage was a shallow gasp. Gaz forced no tears to spill from her eyes.
Strange how we all get a little bit
Strange how we all feel a little bit weird sometimes
"I'm so very sorry, Zim," she whispered.
He opened his eyes again, looking up at her and holding his eye contact as long as possible. Then it was as though the worst of the pain hit him. Again he squeezed his eyes closed, and he tighted his grip on her hand.
Dib walked over to stand beside her, able to tell that something was happening. The nurse simply left the room.
Gaz watched Zim's hurting form twitch a moment, just a very quick moment, before his tense face and tight fist relaxed. It only took that very quick moment for him to be gone from her. Gaz turned her head; she could not stand to look any longer.
"Gaz..." Dib began. Not finding the words he needed so badly to comfort her with, he put a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry...it's all my fault."
She looked up at him and drew a shaky breath. her eyes glistened with their salty rim of tears.
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