The misadventures of Professor Matthews- chapter three
That evening Harry went up to the owlery to send a letter to Sirius.
It read:
Dear Snuffles,
Everything seems pretty normal hear except the new Defence against the Dark arts teacher. His name is Paul Matthews and he reminds me of a surfing guru. McGonagall seems terrified of him and he and Snape don't seem to get on very well. But then again, there's nothing new. I just thought that I'd better tell you about him just in case he's another one of your buddies from Azkaban. Keep in touch,
Harry.
***
A few days later at breakfast Harry received a letter from his Godfather. It said:
Dear Harry,
I have heard of him, but he's not a friend from Azkaban. He's famous for his "classroom bolt trick" that he pulled in his seventh year during transfiguration. You should ask him about it! From what I know, he was a good friend of Bill Weasley. Maybe he knows something? Remus wants me to tell you that if they're letting idiots like him teach, that education has really gone down in quality. From,
Snuffles.
P.S. Played a game of poker against him once in the Three Broomsticks. Mongrel still owes me fifty galleons.
Harry put down the letter and laughed quietly.
"What's up?" Ron asked as he looked up from his bacon and eggs.
Harry passed the letter to him and Hermione to read and when they were finished they too were wearing smiles.
"Well at least we know he's not out to get you Harry," Hermione said.
"I'll send an owl to Charlie today and ask about Matthews," Ron said and went back to hoarding food down his throat.
***
That night at dinner our three heroes where graced with the presence of Percy Weasley.
He claimed that he was there on Ministry business but Harry had a sneaking suspicion that his mother had sent him to check on him.
Much to Ron's disgust, Percy had taken the liberty of sitting across from them at the Gryffindor table and was filling them in about his life at the office.
"And I said to David, 'Hey David you should only be using cream parchment not white, and to use black ink, not blue."
Hermione seemed mildly interested in the speech while Harry and Ron where trying to fight of the urge to sleep.
"PERCY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" somebody screamed from behind him and put Percy in a headlock.
"ARRRGGGHHHH!" Percy screamed and tried to break free.
Harry, Ron and Hermione looked up to see Professor Matthews grinning evilly as Percy struggled to get free.
"Paul!!" Percy screamed!, "Go to Hell you bastard."
Everyone stared in shock at Percy.
"That's the strongest foul language I've ever heard Percy use," said Ron in shock.
"Now, now," Professor Matthews mocked, "you shouldn't use nasty words around the children now Percy. You could prove to be a bad influence."
The Weasley twins at the other end of the table started to laugh hysterically.
"Let me go you dick!" screamed Percy as he tried to pull Matthews' arm away from his throat.
"What's this!" yelled somebody from behind Professor Matthews.
Bill Weasley had too arrived on the scene when Professor Matthews did, but due to all the commotion, he had been over looked.
"You have hurt my darling baby brother!" he said grinning, "you must die Matthews!"
Bill threw Professor Matthews to the ground and he, Percy and Percy's chair went down with him.
Everyone in the Great Hall got out of their seats to look at the three adults on the ground.
As Harry gazed over at them he saw Professor Matthews sitting on Percy's back and pulling on his left leg hard while Bill had his arms around Matthews' ribcage and was trying to pull him off.
But as Harry watched with interest, he saw that Bill wasn't trying very hard.
"Oh bugger off Bill," Professor Matthews said with a grin as he turned his head to face him.
"Get this idiot off me!" Percy shouted as Professor Matthews pulled on his leg harder.
"Sissy," said Bill and he let go of Matthews and grabbed Percy's free foot. He took off his shoe and sock and started to tickle him.
Percy was now making a noise that was a combination of screaming and yelling.
All the student in the Great Hall were now wondering how three grown men could act like this.
"Weasley, Weasley and Matthews!" Snape screamed, "One hundred and Fifty points from Gryffindor!"
"You can't do that slimeball," Matthews said as he got off of Percy's back, "we're not students anymore."
Snape started to make his way over to Professor Matthews but Dumbledore then said, "I think we've had enough excitement for one night could students and teacher please take their seats."
Everyone sat back down at their house tables and Snape made his way back to the staff table.
Bill and Professor Matthews took seats at the Gryffindor table while Percy tied his shoe back on.
"What was all that?" asked Hermione in shock.
"Well when I received Ron's owl this afternoon I couldn't wait to come back and meet up with my old friend Paul," Bill said.
"Yeah," Professor Matthews said, "me and Bill go way back. Back to the days of the greatest pranks Hogwarts has ever seen! As I recall, Professor McGonagall didn't have as many grey hairs back then."
"But what's the story with Percy?" Ron asked.
"Well little bro," said Bill, "Paul and Percy go way back too. As you can see, there's still a little bit of boyish rivalry going on between them. Percy used to hate it when Paul would spend the summer at our house. You're probably just too young to remember it."
"Boyish rivalry?" Percy said. "You locked me in the attic with the family ghoul!"
"Are you still sore about that?" Professor Matthews said and he kicked his feet underneath Percy's, who fell flat on his back.
"You mongrels! Why, when I get home..."
"You'll do what?" Bill said slyly. "Tell mummy on us?"
"Oh, I quiver with fear Perce," Professor Matthews said. "I hate to think of what mummy will do, when she finds out what we did to poor precious Percy-poo."
Percy growled and turned to leave.
"Bye Percy-poo! Come back soon!" Professor Matthews and Bill said in unison.
Percy flinched but continued to walk out the hall.
Once he was gone, Fred and George came running up to them.
"Fantastic!" Fred roared!
"Yeah I've never seen Percy so peeved in his entire life!" George said.
"He even swore!" Fred said. "If I was to die tomorrow I'd die a happy man."
Bill and Professor Matthews just grinned at one another.
That evening Harry went up to the owlery to send a letter to Sirius.
It read:
Dear Snuffles,
Everything seems pretty normal hear except the new Defence against the Dark arts teacher. His name is Paul Matthews and he reminds me of a surfing guru. McGonagall seems terrified of him and he and Snape don't seem to get on very well. But then again, there's nothing new. I just thought that I'd better tell you about him just in case he's another one of your buddies from Azkaban. Keep in touch,
Harry.
***
A few days later at breakfast Harry received a letter from his Godfather. It said:
Dear Harry,
I have heard of him, but he's not a friend from Azkaban. He's famous for his "classroom bolt trick" that he pulled in his seventh year during transfiguration. You should ask him about it! From what I know, he was a good friend of Bill Weasley. Maybe he knows something? Remus wants me to tell you that if they're letting idiots like him teach, that education has really gone down in quality. From,
Snuffles.
P.S. Played a game of poker against him once in the Three Broomsticks. Mongrel still owes me fifty galleons.
Harry put down the letter and laughed quietly.
"What's up?" Ron asked as he looked up from his bacon and eggs.
Harry passed the letter to him and Hermione to read and when they were finished they too were wearing smiles.
"Well at least we know he's not out to get you Harry," Hermione said.
"I'll send an owl to Charlie today and ask about Matthews," Ron said and went back to hoarding food down his throat.
***
That night at dinner our three heroes where graced with the presence of Percy Weasley.
He claimed that he was there on Ministry business but Harry had a sneaking suspicion that his mother had sent him to check on him.
Much to Ron's disgust, Percy had taken the liberty of sitting across from them at the Gryffindor table and was filling them in about his life at the office.
"And I said to David, 'Hey David you should only be using cream parchment not white, and to use black ink, not blue."
Hermione seemed mildly interested in the speech while Harry and Ron where trying to fight of the urge to sleep.
"PERCY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" somebody screamed from behind him and put Percy in a headlock.
"ARRRGGGHHHH!" Percy screamed and tried to break free.
Harry, Ron and Hermione looked up to see Professor Matthews grinning evilly as Percy struggled to get free.
"Paul!!" Percy screamed!, "Go to Hell you bastard."
Everyone stared in shock at Percy.
"That's the strongest foul language I've ever heard Percy use," said Ron in shock.
"Now, now," Professor Matthews mocked, "you shouldn't use nasty words around the children now Percy. You could prove to be a bad influence."
The Weasley twins at the other end of the table started to laugh hysterically.
"Let me go you dick!" screamed Percy as he tried to pull Matthews' arm away from his throat.
"What's this!" yelled somebody from behind Professor Matthews.
Bill Weasley had too arrived on the scene when Professor Matthews did, but due to all the commotion, he had been over looked.
"You have hurt my darling baby brother!" he said grinning, "you must die Matthews!"
Bill threw Professor Matthews to the ground and he, Percy and Percy's chair went down with him.
Everyone in the Great Hall got out of their seats to look at the three adults on the ground.
As Harry gazed over at them he saw Professor Matthews sitting on Percy's back and pulling on his left leg hard while Bill had his arms around Matthews' ribcage and was trying to pull him off.
But as Harry watched with interest, he saw that Bill wasn't trying very hard.
"Oh bugger off Bill," Professor Matthews said with a grin as he turned his head to face him.
"Get this idiot off me!" Percy shouted as Professor Matthews pulled on his leg harder.
"Sissy," said Bill and he let go of Matthews and grabbed Percy's free foot. He took off his shoe and sock and started to tickle him.
Percy was now making a noise that was a combination of screaming and yelling.
All the student in the Great Hall were now wondering how three grown men could act like this.
"Weasley, Weasley and Matthews!" Snape screamed, "One hundred and Fifty points from Gryffindor!"
"You can't do that slimeball," Matthews said as he got off of Percy's back, "we're not students anymore."
Snape started to make his way over to Professor Matthews but Dumbledore then said, "I think we've had enough excitement for one night could students and teacher please take their seats."
Everyone sat back down at their house tables and Snape made his way back to the staff table.
Bill and Professor Matthews took seats at the Gryffindor table while Percy tied his shoe back on.
"What was all that?" asked Hermione in shock.
"Well when I received Ron's owl this afternoon I couldn't wait to come back and meet up with my old friend Paul," Bill said.
"Yeah," Professor Matthews said, "me and Bill go way back. Back to the days of the greatest pranks Hogwarts has ever seen! As I recall, Professor McGonagall didn't have as many grey hairs back then."
"But what's the story with Percy?" Ron asked.
"Well little bro," said Bill, "Paul and Percy go way back too. As you can see, there's still a little bit of boyish rivalry going on between them. Percy used to hate it when Paul would spend the summer at our house. You're probably just too young to remember it."
"Boyish rivalry?" Percy said. "You locked me in the attic with the family ghoul!"
"Are you still sore about that?" Professor Matthews said and he kicked his feet underneath Percy's, who fell flat on his back.
"You mongrels! Why, when I get home..."
"You'll do what?" Bill said slyly. "Tell mummy on us?"
"Oh, I quiver with fear Perce," Professor Matthews said. "I hate to think of what mummy will do, when she finds out what we did to poor precious Percy-poo."
Percy growled and turned to leave.
"Bye Percy-poo! Come back soon!" Professor Matthews and Bill said in unison.
Percy flinched but continued to walk out the hall.
Once he was gone, Fred and George came running up to them.
"Fantastic!" Fred roared!
"Yeah I've never seen Percy so peeved in his entire life!" George said.
"He even swore!" Fred said. "If I was to die tomorrow I'd die a happy man."
Bill and Professor Matthews just grinned at one another.