AN: Here's something that's a complete deviation from the normal. From the normal me, of course. It's actually light-hearted and humorous, which is more than I can say for the rest of my fics. *sigh* Oh well, read on!
Dedicated to: Catherine, who had the whole idea of this in the first place… (adorable kid!) To Berna, her sister and my beta and my friend, if you're reading this, drag Cat over to the computer!
And to Raf, the one who wouldn't admit he was in love… haha, look at you now!
Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling, but any OOC behavior and bad writing, all mine. The plot belongs to Cat and me, and the song "Won't Say I'm In Love" is from Hercules, the Disney movie, 'twas written by David Zippel and set to music by Alan Menken.
Note: I've tried the same thing I did in "Something to Tell Her" here, putting some of the song lyrics into the conversation of the characters. The song lyrics are in italics, so you'll know which is which.
~*~ I Won't Say I'm In Love ~*~
Parvati smiled at Hermione's reflection in the dresser mirror through the mouthful of rainbow-colored hairpins she held in her mouth. Hermione smiled back, though uneasily. "It's okay, Hermione, this will come off, I'm sure of that!" Lavender chirped, rubbing a heavily-scented potion into Hermione's hair. "I hope it does… it stinks." Hermione wrinkled up her nose.
"Be glad that we're helping you out for this Yule Ball, I mean, Harry Potter as your partner, and you wanted to keep your hair in the Witch Wild Wear!" Parvati began smearing a cold cream onto Hermione's skin. "So what? Its Harry, my friend, not Harry, the famous wizard…" Hermione rolled her eyes. "And anyway, he asked me because he felt sorry for me…"
Parvati and Lavender stared at her through their painted eyelashes. "No, he wouldn't do that!" Hermione shrugged. "I think he would. I mean, look at my love life so far."
If there's a prize for rotten judgement
I guess I've already won that
"Ron, that one date in the Three Broomsticks that ended with us covered in butterbeer, chocolate, and mud. And then, Neville…" Hermione ticked her boyfriends off on her fingers. "And then, Neville…. and that's it!"
No man is worth the aggravation
"I mean, my love life is completely…" Hermione's shoulders slumped. "Empty!" Parvati patted her back comfortingly. "It's okay, Hermione, Harry's sure to be the perfect guy for you!"
Lavender grinned. "Yes, yes! And, you love him too, don't you?" Hermione jerked upright, incensed. "No! It's just a Yule Ball date, nothing else!" Her two friends giggled. "Sure, Hermione. What about that Witch Weekly article? And the singing valentine you sent him in sixth year?"
Hermione turned red.
That's ancient history, been there, done that
"Stop it! I mean, he's a great guy, agreeing to this date and all, but that's it, we're just friends!" Hermione frowned at the two girls behind her, who were still giggling. "Oh, come on, Hermione! We've seen the way you look at him…"
Who d'you think you're kidding?
He's the earth and heaven to you
"You come to Quidditch practice just to watch him… we know that you don't even like Quidditch that much!" Parvati began to laugh. "And you 'help' him with his homework…" Lavender cut in, combing Hermione's hair while smiling along with Parvati.
Try to keep it hidden
"You're just being silly." Hermione began in a bossy tone, rearranging the books on her table, her hair half-done. "This is just your way of working out your Yule Ball jitters." She sat down at her dresser again, and began to comb her hair. "Anyway, everyone knows Harry and I are platonic."
"Honey, we can see right through you." Parvati tucked Hermione's hair behind her ear and began twisting it up. "Girl, you can't conceal it, we know how you feel and who you're thinking of…" Lavender winked at Hermione, and Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Say it, Hermione, it's Harry!"
"No chance, no way, I won't say it." Hermione crossed her arms, and Lavender squealed indignantly. "Don't! You'll rumple your dress!"
Parvati kept on pointing out the little "signs", the "signs" Hermione was beginning to find extremely annoying.
You swoon, you sigh
Why deny it?
"It's too cliché, I won't say I'm in love." Hermione flicked her wand at the vase of flowers Harry had sent her earlier that evening and sent it flying across the room to hide itself in a pile of robes.
I thought my heart had learned its lesson
"I mean, who can forget the last Yule Ball? Neville asked me to dance, and I ended up with sprained toes!" Hermione sighed. "Hey, don't say that! He took dancing lessons over the summer, and he's a great guy!" Lavender looked hurt. "Oh, Lavender! He's a terrific guy, he's really nice, and all…" Hermione forgot Neville asked Lavender to the Ball…
It feels so good when you start out
"And then, Ron! Fights, yelling matches in the corridors, and we always made up afterwards, to break up messily all over again." Hermione sighed again, and Parvati and Lavender sighed along with her, to give a sympathetic air. "We finally agreed to stay friends, nothing more, nothing less… for the good of us both, I guess."
My head is screaming "Get a grip, girl!"
Unless you're dying to cry your eyes out
"Who knows? Maybe Harry really is just asking me out as a friend?" Hermione began to arrange the hair ornaments she was going to use, hiding her face from her two friends. "Who knows that he won't hurt me like my old boyfriends have?"
You keep on denying
Who you are and how you're feeling
Baby, we're not buying
"Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling." Parvati whipped out her wand and charmed Hermione's lips a rose-pink color. "We were there when he asked you to the Ball, right?" Lavender had begun painting Hermione's nails with Madame Picturesque's Painted Pointer's Polish.
Face it like a grown-up
"When you gonna own up? That you got, got, got it ba-ad!" Parvati and Lavender sang, teasing Hermione even more.
"No chance, no way, I won't say it, no, no!" Hermione smiled as they began dancing around the room in their dress robes, singing into hairbrushes.
"Give up, give in, check the grin, you're in love!" Parvati pointed at Hermione's smile with her brush. Hermione immediately faked a frown, but the smile crept back over her face once more. She pointed her own brush back at the two laughing girls, mocking an angry tone: "This scene, won't play, I won't say I'm in love."
You're doing flips
Inside Hermione's heart, in the secret spot never touched by any other, she found herself smiling. //Maybe they're right.// Parvati danced up to Hermione. "Read out lips, you're in love!"
Hermione sighed. //They're silly, but they're right… just the teeniest bit right.//
Loudly, she said "You're way off base, I won't say it…" She frowned at Parvati, and went back to fixing her hair. "Get off my case, I won't say it."
Parvati and Lavender stopped dancing, out of breath, and began whispering Staying Spells into Hermione's hair. "Okay, Hermione, we'll stop!" Lavender smiled and brushed off Hermione's robes one last time. But as they went out the door, Parvati couldn't help saying her last word. "Girl, don't be proud, it's okay you're in love."
Hermione rolled her eyes at this, but as she walked slowly down the stairs, she looked down, and saw Harry waiting for her, the smallest of dumbfounded expressions on his face.
She smiled at him, and he grinned back, unable to hide his happiness at seeing Hermione the Bossy Bookworm all dressed up. As he took her hand, and escorted her out the portrait hole, the entire Gryffindor common room burst into cheers.
Face warm, blushing and smiling at the same time, Hermione turned to Harry, and her heart gave the smallest of leaps. However, it was enough for her to know…
At least out loud… I won't say I'm in love.