Sylvia's decided. I must make up my mind soon, or she won't hesitate to eliminate me. I was shocked when she said those words. I know I'd gotten on her nerves several times over the years, but I never thought she'd kill me if I left Rot. I guess I was wrong.

It's frightening to learn your family for so long cares so little about you. I wonder if it's the same with Moira. Does she despise us now? Does she despise me?

Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if she did. I told her Rot wanted her back and she should leave Schwartz.

Wait. Moira has been with Schwartz for several months now, isn't going back, and she's safe. I've been with Weiss a week or so, and I'm to be eliminated?

How's that for an ego-booster? I feel so loved.

They really should be thanking me. I'm the one who found out Kritiker is after Rot. I'm the one who got that information from the mission computer. I'm the one who is in the best possible position to ruin Weiss.

Maybe it's because I DON'T want to ruin Weiss? Maybe Sylvia already knew about Kritiker? Maybe they weren't satisfied with the information I gave them from the computer?

This is not how I work!! I do not do well under pressure. I am meant to do my job and go find a fuck. Sylvia makes the plans, Gwen does the spying, Moira DID the crazy shit. I did was I was told.

It doesn't seem like I can take that path anymore. Shit.

Aya. I swear the man will give me a headache. No, his teammates will give me a headache! The two of us haven't been alone for days now, and now he's vanished again. If I could just get ten minutes with him, I could undo any damage Yohji's made to my case.

That's another one. Yohji. I'm worried about him, surprisingly. He's seriously obsessed with Aya. Maybe I can help him forget.

That's why I'm going back to the Koneko right now. It was Schuldig that came up with the idea. I hadn't given it much thought beside when I was teasing him. He really could use the chance to get his mind off the redhead.

Gods, my mind won't stop wondering! This is why I don't work well under pressure. I must have ADD or something; I can't concentrate on just one problem at a time.

Okay, Weiss and Rot. Rot has threatened to kill me if I do not make my decision soon. And I can safely assume they will also kill me if I choose Weiss. Wonderful. Those bitches.

Weiss has not made such a claim directly, but they are planning on going after Rot. It's basically the same thing. Rot won't let me stay in between, so I must choose. Whatever I choose, one group is going to come after me.

Smeg. I think I've got a headache already.

If I can't choose that way, it will have to come down to the people inside the groups. Aya, Yohji, Ken, and Chelsea. Sylvia and Gwen. Moira? If I can't figure out where someone belongs, I'll just have to forget about them for now. So my new play group, or my 'family.'

Why the hell did I tell Ken they were my FAMILY?! Family members don't kill each other. Then again, most families aren't made up of assassins. Maybe if they were, the overpopulation problem wouldn't be a problem anymore. First fight you have with your teenager, bang. End of story.

Aya, Yohji, and me. Ah, what a messed up triangle. And here I am, going to make it more complicated. There's that headache again. I seriously need a fuck after what Sylvia told me though! That waitress is probably already at work, and who knows where Ken and Aya have gone off.

I need to just sit down here for a bit and think.

Choice time: Weiss or Rot. Where's a coin when you need one. Ahh, there we go.

Heads I return to Rot. Tails I stick with Weiss.

Heads. But that doesn't count. My thumb didn't flip it properly.

Tails. There it is, clear as day. I stick with Weiss.

At least I know Sylvia also misses it when life was less complicated. Protect whatever Licht target there was that Esset wants safe, fight Licht, go home, go to bed. Or whatever various activities we did to loosen up.

Ah, that brings us back to now, doesn't it? Right over there, all alone in the flower shop is a very fine specimen that needs a bit of a distraction. Much like me. Should I take advantage of it?

Maybe later. Suddenly I don't need that distraction as much anymore.

I've lost everything.

~Jade Nova