A/N---bbbbbb bbbbbb bbbb bbbbb sound of author losing last of fragile
grip on sanity
Disclaimer—yeah yeah, whatever!
Pathetic Plea for Reviews-----much sniffling and crying somebody PLEASE review? Even flames would be nice. If I don't get some more reviews, I'm not writing more. Which would probably be a relief to you ppl………….sigh.
To FictionHobbit—ppppppffffffttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!! So There!
More Road Confessions
Day 50
Just realized have not mentioned Faramir of Gondor in 50 days of road trip. Is reason for that: Faramir doesn't talk much. Mostly keeps away from everyone and lights stuff on fire. V. nice for campouts, as have had up to 10 fires at one time for evening. Also, Faramir only one not involved in late soap-operatics. Furthermore, am trying to ignore his existence, since after bit fight, pet hobbits went whining to him for comfort and companionship. Faramir is pervy slashy boy making time w/ MY hobbits. Would like to set HIM on fire.
Day 52
Legolas whining about Bunny's attentions to him. Don't know what he's bitching about, he's got half the Fellowship chasing his tail while I've got nobody!!! Stupid elf prat, doesn't know when he's got it good. Should try being me for awhile.
Day 55
Just realized, have been walking month-and-a-half and have no clue where we are.. This ISN'T the way I came OUT of Mordor……..pretty sure isn't way back INTO Mordor, either.
Day 57
Faramir spoiling my hobbits rotten!! Glorfy caught me trying to set him on fire, stopped me. Worthless git! Can't he see I NEED MY HOBBITS BACK????? Shiny Ring nice, but doesn't do things w/tongue that Frodo did.
Day 62
V. depressed. Don't care about Fellowship. Don't even care about Ring. Want hobbits back. All day, trudge along watching them be all nice-nice to Faramir. Tried making up w/Frodo but was ignored. Should never have left Sauron. At least there had manacles and whips to play with, even if stupid Witch-King was always on my case. Am thinking of jumping off next convenient cliff.
Day 63
Have noticed Glorfindal watching me w/ odd expression. Who cares? Not hobbit, not interested.
Day 64
Spent unpleasant night listening to Faramir and my hobbits go at it. Can't take much more of this. Am planning to kill Faramir as soon as I get the chance. Unfortunately, Glorfy and Radagast have taken to watching my every move. Something about not wanting to spend entire trip preventing me jumping off cliffs. Radagast still pissy about birdie-killing incident, too, so is particularly nasty. REALLY miss therapy drugs. Wonder if Sam has any hobbit weed, instead?
Day 6…..er…….6-somting
Hobbitg weed v. nishe stuff………..feel mush better now…..Sam no hapy, tough. Least got hobbits talking to me 'gain. Fvrfodo sho sweet n cuddly…….rilly rilly missed him, dammit……….hobbit weed IS v nishe…….
Next Day
………..gaw, what a hangover……………owie owie owie owie………someone kill me now!
Day 70 (I think)
Spent last several days in hobbit-weed-induced stupor. Had to stop when Fellowship ganged up on me. Stupid interventions, thought this crap only happened at home. Didn't need it there, don't need it here.
Day 71
Gggggggggrrrrrrrrrrr…………..can't think of a goddamned thing to write! I thought this was supposed to be an adventure?? Honestly, should never have left Sauron. Stupid Arwen, getting all knocked up. And I didn't even kill her, dammit. Sauron's gonna be pissed. Ok, more pissed.
Day 74
Big battle w/Orcs today. Forget why, as took blow to back of head. Have forgotten lots, actually. Where am I again?
Day 75
Where am I again?
Day 76
Where am I again?
Day 77
Where am I again?
Day 78
Glorfindal and Radagast have healed head wound. Fellowship apparently getting tired of repetitive questions on my part. Can't say I remember, cause I don't. Middle Earth has grown tiresome. Want to go home now.
Day 80
Trees pretty, fire bad. Faramir's pyromania gotten out of control, burned down large part of woods we were walking in. Elves v. pissed. Bunny v. pissed. Radagast v. pissed. Everyone pissed, but hey, they're not pissed at me for a change. Pet hobbit Frodo has gotten shiny Ring from somewhere. Wait, didn't that used to be mine??
Day 81
Have taken Ring back from Frodo. Big scuffle, turned into pleasant romp. Frodo not happy about losing Ring, but he'll deal. Gave him tongue-lashing to make up for it. Sam jealous, so gave him tongue-lashing, too. Rest of Fellowship disgusted. Too bad. Isn't the Fellowship overdue to break up anyway??
Day 83
Am growing tired of diary. Am already tired of Middle-Earth. Am excessively tired of Fellowship. REALLY want to go home now!!
Disclaimer—yeah yeah, whatever!
Pathetic Plea for Reviews-----much sniffling and crying somebody PLEASE review? Even flames would be nice. If I don't get some more reviews, I'm not writing more. Which would probably be a relief to you ppl………….sigh.
To FictionHobbit—ppppppffffffttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!! So There!
More Road Confessions
Day 50
Just realized have not mentioned Faramir of Gondor in 50 days of road trip. Is reason for that: Faramir doesn't talk much. Mostly keeps away from everyone and lights stuff on fire. V. nice for campouts, as have had up to 10 fires at one time for evening. Also, Faramir only one not involved in late soap-operatics. Furthermore, am trying to ignore his existence, since after bit fight, pet hobbits went whining to him for comfort and companionship. Faramir is pervy slashy boy making time w/ MY hobbits. Would like to set HIM on fire.
Day 52
Legolas whining about Bunny's attentions to him. Don't know what he's bitching about, he's got half the Fellowship chasing his tail while I've got nobody!!! Stupid elf prat, doesn't know when he's got it good. Should try being me for awhile.
Day 55
Just realized, have been walking month-and-a-half and have no clue where we are.. This ISN'T the way I came OUT of Mordor……..pretty sure isn't way back INTO Mordor, either.
Day 57
Faramir spoiling my hobbits rotten!! Glorfy caught me trying to set him on fire, stopped me. Worthless git! Can't he see I NEED MY HOBBITS BACK????? Shiny Ring nice, but doesn't do things w/tongue that Frodo did.
Day 62
V. depressed. Don't care about Fellowship. Don't even care about Ring. Want hobbits back. All day, trudge along watching them be all nice-nice to Faramir. Tried making up w/Frodo but was ignored. Should never have left Sauron. At least there had manacles and whips to play with, even if stupid Witch-King was always on my case. Am thinking of jumping off next convenient cliff.
Day 63
Have noticed Glorfindal watching me w/ odd expression. Who cares? Not hobbit, not interested.
Day 64
Spent unpleasant night listening to Faramir and my hobbits go at it. Can't take much more of this. Am planning to kill Faramir as soon as I get the chance. Unfortunately, Glorfy and Radagast have taken to watching my every move. Something about not wanting to spend entire trip preventing me jumping off cliffs. Radagast still pissy about birdie-killing incident, too, so is particularly nasty. REALLY miss therapy drugs. Wonder if Sam has any hobbit weed, instead?
Day 6…..er…….6-somting
Hobbitg weed v. nishe stuff………..feel mush better now…..Sam no hapy, tough. Least got hobbits talking to me 'gain. Fvrfodo sho sweet n cuddly…….rilly rilly missed him, dammit……….hobbit weed IS v nishe…….
Next Day
………..gaw, what a hangover……………owie owie owie owie………someone kill me now!
Day 70 (I think)
Spent last several days in hobbit-weed-induced stupor. Had to stop when Fellowship ganged up on me. Stupid interventions, thought this crap only happened at home. Didn't need it there, don't need it here.
Day 71
Gggggggggrrrrrrrrrrr…………..can't think of a goddamned thing to write! I thought this was supposed to be an adventure?? Honestly, should never have left Sauron. Stupid Arwen, getting all knocked up. And I didn't even kill her, dammit. Sauron's gonna be pissed. Ok, more pissed.
Day 74
Big battle w/Orcs today. Forget why, as took blow to back of head. Have forgotten lots, actually. Where am I again?
Day 75
Where am I again?
Day 76
Where am I again?
Day 77
Where am I again?
Day 78
Glorfindal and Radagast have healed head wound. Fellowship apparently getting tired of repetitive questions on my part. Can't say I remember, cause I don't. Middle Earth has grown tiresome. Want to go home now.
Day 80
Trees pretty, fire bad. Faramir's pyromania gotten out of control, burned down large part of woods we were walking in. Elves v. pissed. Bunny v. pissed. Radagast v. pissed. Everyone pissed, but hey, they're not pissed at me for a change. Pet hobbit Frodo has gotten shiny Ring from somewhere. Wait, didn't that used to be mine??
Day 81
Have taken Ring back from Frodo. Big scuffle, turned into pleasant romp. Frodo not happy about losing Ring, but he'll deal. Gave him tongue-lashing to make up for it. Sam jealous, so gave him tongue-lashing, too. Rest of Fellowship disgusted. Too bad. Isn't the Fellowship overdue to break up anyway??
Day 83
Am growing tired of diary. Am already tired of Middle-Earth. Am excessively tired of Fellowship. REALLY want to go home now!!