The 99th Platoon
(A/N Nope. None. Zero. Nuda. Nothing. Zilch. Etc. Except that I noticed that I didn't put any type of legal disclaimer and the like so I'm putting one now: I DO NOT own Conker, Sarge, Rodent, the legless professor, the Squirrels, the Tediz and about everything else that appeared in CBFD. I DO own the Komiz, as they are my very own concept, the name "The 99th platoon" and the squirrel's CHARACTERS, NAMES, and PERSONALITY are owned by their respective living counter parts. Umm this story is my own property this may not be copied, sold (yeah as if) etc etc unless you ask me first. You may not start up your own platoon story without my consent. I own the string. Use the title or any of the concepts without asking and I'll castrate you or worse. Okay. That should do. Sorry if that's a bit harsh but I like to have all my bases covered.)
Chapter 4: Send in the clones
The platoon consisting of fourteen Squirrels and one Tediz slid down the sloped ramp down towards the dark and damp. It was obviously uncomfortable.
"Get you elbow outta my eye shrimp!"
"That's not me dickhead that's Squeaky,"
"Who you calling dick head?"
"Asshole,"
"Prick,"
"You know if this wasn't happening to me I'd be laughing"
"Shut up."
"Whoever's finger is in my nostril be sure its gonna get broken the second I get out of this mess,"
"Oh God. Is that what that mushy thing was,"
"No. You don't wanna know what that is,"
"OW!"
"What?!"
"I think I slammed in to that piece of scrap metal!"
"You callin' my tank scrap metal?"
"Yeah. What are you gonna do about it shorty?"
"Is that you Cartman? You better hide. You just wait till we…"
"SHUT UP THE LOT OF YA!" yelled Sarge over the constant bickering. As he did so he felt solid, and flat, earth underneath him. He instinctively rolled out of the way as he new what was coming…
*thump. Th- Th- Th- Th- Th- Th- Th- Th- Th- Th- Th- Th-THUMP*
Squeaky sat on top of the hill of Squirrels grinning.
"Hey that wasn't so…"
*TWANG*
CuMiT's tank had just decided to "drop in". Sarge stared at this pitiful mound of rookies. Shakily at first the team managed to stand up and forget past grievances…sort of.
"So I gotta relax hey Ender. Riiiiiight. Well don't say I didn't tell you so…" mocked Percival. Ender pouted. WWW could be seen trying to break Oreos' fingers.
"I always keep my word…" he muttered.
"Yeah whatever," muttered Oreos as he tried to break out of WWW's grip. He failed.
"Don't be so sure of yourself next time," WWW said calmly as he let go, "That's a lesson that I had to learn the hard way."
Just as Sarge was going to regroup the troops again when a slow, but steadily increasing in loudness, sound resonated through the underground. Pyst, who had gone to take a leak in a tunnel, came running back at top speed with his zip still open. The group stared at him.
"WE GOT HOSTILES AT 3 O'CLOCK!!!!" he screamed as he ran for his rocket launcher. At this word a VERY LARGE group of what had to be Komiz appeared. They where similar, if not identical, in appearance to Tediz but they were around Sarge's build. They were all armed in an assortment of weapons ranging from AK-47s to chainsaws. The platoon armed itself. Sarge grabbed his shotgun.
"Gentlemen," he said as he armed his shotgun.
*shick-CLICK*
"ATTACK!" With this the Komiz ran towards the platoon, guns ablaze and knives flashing. The came with fury but not with out of control fury, like the Tediz, these Komiz were smart, cool and in control. Sarge shoved his shotgun into the mouth of a Komiz totting DD-44s.
"Is lead slug your favourite flavour?" he asked the Komiz seconds before he pulled the trigger, the blood like stuffing billowing onto the floor as the lifeless machine fell dead. He grabbed a grenade and took the pin out with his mouth.
"Soldiers you better get outta there NOW!"
The platoon leapt out of the throng in time as the grenade exploded smearing the walls with yellow coloured lining and the occasional Komiz hand.
Percival and Stealth were right in the middle of the ambush fighting in extreme close combat.
"Stealth! DUCK!" yelled Percival. Stealth ducked missing the knife blow from a sneaky Komiz.
"Thanks Percival!" yelled Stealth as he flipped behind the Komiz and sliced his head clean from his neck. Percival was delivering rapid slices with his hunting knife slicing throats and tearing stuffing. Stealth was in a rage delivering fatal blows to all the Komiz that faced him. But they were fighting a losing battle. They were being forced, by endless onslaught, into a corner where they would not have the manoeuvring space they'd need.
*swoooing*
The sound was so silent that even the ninja didn't hear it. A scythe literally sliced through the ring of Komiz and left them writhing on the floor. Viper stood behind them his scythe dripping Komiz blood.
"Wow! It slices and dices and its only a dollar ninety nine!" yelled Michael as he and WWW ran over both their chainsaws smeared with Komiz guts and fluff.
"You know the bear hear fights okay for a Tediz," commented Michael.
*BazWING*
WWW threw his chainsaw at the crawling Komiz on the floor that was reaching for an assault rifle. It shrieked as it was mauled into little pieces. Viper grinned. He spoke for the first time.
"You're ok Tediz," the five of them ran back into the Komiz dodging constantly.
Meanwhile behind a rock Chael had set up his sniper rifle and was searching for anyone in trouble. He was watching CuMiT, Pyst and Squeaky blasting and burning away at thing and having the time of they're lives. Squeaky would set a Komiz on fire and the either CuMiT or Pyst would blow it up. All three were laughing manically.
He then saw Flatfeet and Cartman pumping Komiz after Komiz with bullets.
"Eat lead ya stinkin' bastard!" yelled Cartman as he unloaded both his clips into one Komiz. Flatfeet was more conservative with his ammo, selecting a target and pumping bullets into the chest and head, shredding it effectively enough to know that it's dead.
Ender was perched on top of a high rock he found. He reached for an arrow, placed it in the sling and released it with perfect accuracy. The Komiz turned just in time to avoid it. He looked up at Ender and laughed. Soon four arrows had pinned him to the wall. Ender calmly and quietly armed a grenade and attached it to an arrow. Soon the only things on the wall were five arrows and a large mess.
"Nice going Ender!" yelled Gamer as Sarge, Oreos and himself were strategically blasting away at opponents with their heavy artillery. Soon the three of them had been lost in the crowd and continued to roll, doge and blast.
"Darn it! They won't give up will they!" yelled Sarge in frustration as Komiz after Komiz entered the cave. A Komiz wielding a katana leapt in front of him. He aimed the bun at the stuffed beast's chest and grinned.
"See you in hell,"
*click*
"Huh?"
*click-click-click*
"Shoot," the Komiz grinned and twirled, blade outstretched, as Sarge ducked. The Komiz managed to slice out a nice piece of arm.
"OOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!"
"Ow what?" asked Chael. His sight fell upon Sarge and the Komiz.
"Shit!" he fired and the Komiz was hit in the neck. Blood gushed out as he fell and impaled himself on his own sword. Sarge crawled into the corner and used his med kit to bandage his arm.
Suddenly.... everything stopped. As quickly as the fight started, all the Komiz disappeared, leaving the platoon at a loss for breath and startled. Some soldiers searched amongst the dead Komiz for some more ammo while others patched themselves up with their med kits.
"Sir?" asked Percival.
"Private,"
"Sir, I do not like this sudden lack of hostility, it too quiet. Something is wrong sir." Most of the platoon agreed with Percival and they all stood alert ears and noses twitching.
*thump*
"D'you guys hear that?" asked Sarge. Some soldiers nodded; some did not.
*thump*
"What the heck? Did you feel that?" asked WWW. The platoon began murmmering amongst themselves.
"Shhh! Shuddap! I'm listening!" ordered Sarge.
"Ah Sir? This may not be the right time..." muttered Oreos.
"Soldier didn't I just tell you to shuddap?"
"Yes sir but..."
"So shuddap boy!"
"But sir! There's an opening back here that we didn't see sir!"
"What and are you saying that noise is coming from..."
Out of the opening behind them burst out something that was not of this world but not unfamiliar.
"Heinrich!" yelled Sarge. The 3 meter tall black alien stood on its four clawed feet, tail swishing, jaw dripping with drool. Without warning he twisted his head and clamped his trap like jaws on Oreos' foot.
"YYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!" yelled Oreos.
"RRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWRRRRRR" growled Heinrich. He sprung back into the dark cave with Oreos dangling from the beasts mouth.
"Oh My Giddy Aunt!" yelled Sarge, "Snipers!" Chael whipped out his rifle as did Sarge and they shot at the retreating back of the monster. "Boy he's one unlucky guy, seein' ambushes everywhere and then this," thought Sarge; "Lets get Oreos!" he barked. The platoon ran into the cave…
(A/N Nope. None. Zero. Nuda. Nothing. Zilch. Etc. Except that I noticed that I didn't put any type of legal disclaimer and the like so I'm putting one now: I DO NOT own Conker, Sarge, Rodent, the legless professor, the Squirrels, the Tediz and about everything else that appeared in CBFD. I DO own the Komiz, as they are my very own concept, the name "The 99th platoon" and the squirrel's CHARACTERS, NAMES, and PERSONALITY are owned by their respective living counter parts. Umm this story is my own property this may not be copied, sold (yeah as if) etc etc unless you ask me first. You may not start up your own platoon story without my consent. I own the string. Use the title or any of the concepts without asking and I'll castrate you or worse. Okay. That should do. Sorry if that's a bit harsh but I like to have all my bases covered.)
Chapter 4: Send in the clones
The platoon consisting of fourteen Squirrels and one Tediz slid down the sloped ramp down towards the dark and damp. It was obviously uncomfortable.
"Get you elbow outta my eye shrimp!"
"That's not me dickhead that's Squeaky,"
"Who you calling dick head?"
"Asshole,"
"Prick,"
"You know if this wasn't happening to me I'd be laughing"
"Shut up."
"Whoever's finger is in my nostril be sure its gonna get broken the second I get out of this mess,"
"Oh God. Is that what that mushy thing was,"
"No. You don't wanna know what that is,"
"OW!"
"What?!"
"I think I slammed in to that piece of scrap metal!"
"You callin' my tank scrap metal?"
"Yeah. What are you gonna do about it shorty?"
"Is that you Cartman? You better hide. You just wait till we…"
"SHUT UP THE LOT OF YA!" yelled Sarge over the constant bickering. As he did so he felt solid, and flat, earth underneath him. He instinctively rolled out of the way as he new what was coming…
*thump. Th- Th- Th- Th- Th- Th- Th- Th- Th- Th- Th- Th-THUMP*
Squeaky sat on top of the hill of Squirrels grinning.
"Hey that wasn't so…"
*TWANG*
CuMiT's tank had just decided to "drop in". Sarge stared at this pitiful mound of rookies. Shakily at first the team managed to stand up and forget past grievances…sort of.
"So I gotta relax hey Ender. Riiiiiight. Well don't say I didn't tell you so…" mocked Percival. Ender pouted. WWW could be seen trying to break Oreos' fingers.
"I always keep my word…" he muttered.
"Yeah whatever," muttered Oreos as he tried to break out of WWW's grip. He failed.
"Don't be so sure of yourself next time," WWW said calmly as he let go, "That's a lesson that I had to learn the hard way."
Just as Sarge was going to regroup the troops again when a slow, but steadily increasing in loudness, sound resonated through the underground. Pyst, who had gone to take a leak in a tunnel, came running back at top speed with his zip still open. The group stared at him.
"WE GOT HOSTILES AT 3 O'CLOCK!!!!" he screamed as he ran for his rocket launcher. At this word a VERY LARGE group of what had to be Komiz appeared. They where similar, if not identical, in appearance to Tediz but they were around Sarge's build. They were all armed in an assortment of weapons ranging from AK-47s to chainsaws. The platoon armed itself. Sarge grabbed his shotgun.
"Gentlemen," he said as he armed his shotgun.
*shick-CLICK*
"ATTACK!" With this the Komiz ran towards the platoon, guns ablaze and knives flashing. The came with fury but not with out of control fury, like the Tediz, these Komiz were smart, cool and in control. Sarge shoved his shotgun into the mouth of a Komiz totting DD-44s.
"Is lead slug your favourite flavour?" he asked the Komiz seconds before he pulled the trigger, the blood like stuffing billowing onto the floor as the lifeless machine fell dead. He grabbed a grenade and took the pin out with his mouth.
"Soldiers you better get outta there NOW!"
The platoon leapt out of the throng in time as the grenade exploded smearing the walls with yellow coloured lining and the occasional Komiz hand.
Percival and Stealth were right in the middle of the ambush fighting in extreme close combat.
"Stealth! DUCK!" yelled Percival. Stealth ducked missing the knife blow from a sneaky Komiz.
"Thanks Percival!" yelled Stealth as he flipped behind the Komiz and sliced his head clean from his neck. Percival was delivering rapid slices with his hunting knife slicing throats and tearing stuffing. Stealth was in a rage delivering fatal blows to all the Komiz that faced him. But they were fighting a losing battle. They were being forced, by endless onslaught, into a corner where they would not have the manoeuvring space they'd need.
*swoooing*
The sound was so silent that even the ninja didn't hear it. A scythe literally sliced through the ring of Komiz and left them writhing on the floor. Viper stood behind them his scythe dripping Komiz blood.
"Wow! It slices and dices and its only a dollar ninety nine!" yelled Michael as he and WWW ran over both their chainsaws smeared with Komiz guts and fluff.
"You know the bear hear fights okay for a Tediz," commented Michael.
*BazWING*
WWW threw his chainsaw at the crawling Komiz on the floor that was reaching for an assault rifle. It shrieked as it was mauled into little pieces. Viper grinned. He spoke for the first time.
"You're ok Tediz," the five of them ran back into the Komiz dodging constantly.
Meanwhile behind a rock Chael had set up his sniper rifle and was searching for anyone in trouble. He was watching CuMiT, Pyst and Squeaky blasting and burning away at thing and having the time of they're lives. Squeaky would set a Komiz on fire and the either CuMiT or Pyst would blow it up. All three were laughing manically.
He then saw Flatfeet and Cartman pumping Komiz after Komiz with bullets.
"Eat lead ya stinkin' bastard!" yelled Cartman as he unloaded both his clips into one Komiz. Flatfeet was more conservative with his ammo, selecting a target and pumping bullets into the chest and head, shredding it effectively enough to know that it's dead.
Ender was perched on top of a high rock he found. He reached for an arrow, placed it in the sling and released it with perfect accuracy. The Komiz turned just in time to avoid it. He looked up at Ender and laughed. Soon four arrows had pinned him to the wall. Ender calmly and quietly armed a grenade and attached it to an arrow. Soon the only things on the wall were five arrows and a large mess.
"Nice going Ender!" yelled Gamer as Sarge, Oreos and himself were strategically blasting away at opponents with their heavy artillery. Soon the three of them had been lost in the crowd and continued to roll, doge and blast.
"Darn it! They won't give up will they!" yelled Sarge in frustration as Komiz after Komiz entered the cave. A Komiz wielding a katana leapt in front of him. He aimed the bun at the stuffed beast's chest and grinned.
"See you in hell,"
*click*
"Huh?"
*click-click-click*
"Shoot," the Komiz grinned and twirled, blade outstretched, as Sarge ducked. The Komiz managed to slice out a nice piece of arm.
"OOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!"
"Ow what?" asked Chael. His sight fell upon Sarge and the Komiz.
"Shit!" he fired and the Komiz was hit in the neck. Blood gushed out as he fell and impaled himself on his own sword. Sarge crawled into the corner and used his med kit to bandage his arm.
Suddenly.... everything stopped. As quickly as the fight started, all the Komiz disappeared, leaving the platoon at a loss for breath and startled. Some soldiers searched amongst the dead Komiz for some more ammo while others patched themselves up with their med kits.
"Sir?" asked Percival.
"Private,"
"Sir, I do not like this sudden lack of hostility, it too quiet. Something is wrong sir." Most of the platoon agreed with Percival and they all stood alert ears and noses twitching.
*thump*
"D'you guys hear that?" asked Sarge. Some soldiers nodded; some did not.
*thump*
"What the heck? Did you feel that?" asked WWW. The platoon began murmmering amongst themselves.
"Shhh! Shuddap! I'm listening!" ordered Sarge.
"Ah Sir? This may not be the right time..." muttered Oreos.
"Soldier didn't I just tell you to shuddap?"
"Yes sir but..."
"So shuddap boy!"
"But sir! There's an opening back here that we didn't see sir!"
"What and are you saying that noise is coming from..."
Out of the opening behind them burst out something that was not of this world but not unfamiliar.
"Heinrich!" yelled Sarge. The 3 meter tall black alien stood on its four clawed feet, tail swishing, jaw dripping with drool. Without warning he twisted his head and clamped his trap like jaws on Oreos' foot.
"YYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!" yelled Oreos.
"RRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWRRRRRR" growled Heinrich. He sprung back into the dark cave with Oreos dangling from the beasts mouth.
"Oh My Giddy Aunt!" yelled Sarge, "Snipers!" Chael whipped out his rifle as did Sarge and they shot at the retreating back of the monster. "Boy he's one unlucky guy, seein' ambushes everywhere and then this," thought Sarge; "Lets get Oreos!" he barked. The platoon ran into the cave…