The 99th Platoon
(A/N You may be wondering why chapter 4 is called "Attack of the Clones"; you're going to find out why, right now)
Chapter 5: Saving Private Oreos
…Only to be chased back out by Heinrich snarling, spitting and biting.
"You guys up for another round?" yelled Sarge. Pyst grinned. CuMiT started up the tank engine. Squeaky's eyes lit up, as did his flamethrower. CuMiT placed a CD in the tanks CD player.
"…From the day I was born *babeongbabung* I was bad to the bone *babeongbabung* bbbbbbbbaaaaaad *babeongbabung* bbbbbbbbaaaaaad *badangdadingdadingdadingdadungdadadung*"
Gamer and Flatfeet, the only two not recruited by their own choice, gave the trio a sarcastic look. Michael started up his chainsaw.
"BBBBAAAAADDDDD!!!!" he yelled as he ran towards the drooling alien. Heinrich lashed out with his whip-like tail and slammed Michael into the cave wall. Blood was gushing out of his nose, as he lay unconscious. The music stopped abruptly as they realised that they were seriously in very, very, deep…
"Shit," swore Cartman. In an instant the platoon of 14 Squirrels and a Tediz was on full assault. Pyst readied his missile launcher and fired. The missile hit Heinrich in the right shoulder but it barely made the beast flinch. Heinrich growled at Pyst and narrowed his eyes.
"This is gonna hurt in the morn-'" he manage to say before a pair of strong and sharp claws flung him across the room. He fell into the dirt face down breathing a small sigh of relief at the fact that he landed relatively softly.
*WHU-PF*
Heinrich had leaped onto Pyst's back and was attempting to use the weight of his body to crush Pyst.
"Somebody go get Pyst, I'll cover you!" screamed Chael firing small, accurate bullets at the creatures eyes. Ender ran behind Heinrich and climbed up onto his neck.
"Chael if you shoot me I swear I'll kick you ass!" shouted Ender as he got out a titanium-tipped arrow which he used to plunge again and again into Heinrich's neck.
"What don't you trust him?" replied Stealth as he rolled under Heinrich and began delivering knife blows while all the while dodging the stamping feet around him. Heinrich began to feel tickling sensations at his belly and neck. They bothered him and he decided it would be best to attack these annoying little grey creatures rather than this pitiful, half dead one. He stepped off of Pyst and whirled around throwing off Ender and Stealth into the surrounding darkness.
Chael was looking through his scope when the two flying squirrels slammed into him rendering all three senseless. Percival crept towards the stunned Pyst and dragged him into safety.
Sarge, Flatfeet and Cartman stood in a circle around Heinrich and were firing at his oversized head. The rapid machine gun fire irritated Heinrich, but the shotgun and assault rifle were beginning to hurt. He turned to face Sarge and Flatfeet. He opened his jaws wide and…slammed them shut on the rotating chainsaw of WWW.
"GRRRROOOOOAAAAARRR!!!" roared Heinrich, his roar reverberating around the cave. He lashed out and WWW had a 12-inch gash along his arm that was bleeding badly, Flatfeet was in no better condition. Sarge had managed to leap behind a rock outcropping and avoided behind mauled.
"How the heck are we gonna get outta this one?"
---Mean while elsewhere---
Oreos had started waking up. His vision was blurry but he appeared to be in a holding cell of some sort.
"Oh...my head...man, what happened? I better not be where I think I am..." he voiced to no one. Or did he?
"And it's worse than that, look who you've got for company," said a snarling voice.
"YOU! I'd thought you'd manage to escape, we found no evidence of your death at all" Heinrich stepped out of the shadows. He grinned. He had no wounds whatsoever.
"There's no escaping from the Tediz, as you and Mr. Sarge just found out. It's only a matter of time before they get them too,"
"Wait a sec, you're the one who got me here!"
"Pfff. I wouldn't waste my time. That wasn't me it was my clone,"
"Clone?"
"When the Tediz recovered me in space, they patched things up. Healed my tail, sharpened my claws, even took the liberty of cloning me. The one that got you was version 93.2. They've perfected the cloning procedures. Now the Tediz have another weapon against you. You might want to tell your…Sarge,"
"Right," he searched himself for a radio. "Oh damn...they took my radio! Now the Sarge and the guys don't know about the clones!!! Oh shiii-"
"Now, now, now lets hold our tongue. You know that might not even have been your Sarge. For all you know, you've already lost the war..."
---5 minutes later---
"So wait, where's the rest of my squad?"
"They're probably fighting the clone right now...in the caves below us,"
"And how long might that take Mr. Smarty-pants?"
"They'll probably be killed,"
"Well that just great. Just great! What am I suppose to do now?"
"Up for a game of rock paper scissors?"
"Do I have a choice?"
"No"
"Riiiiiiiight,"
---Back in the caves---
Squeaky and CuMiT lay stunned by CuMiT's badly damaged tank. WWW was trying to stitch up his arm and Flatfeet's at the same time. Stealth and Ender still lay unconscious, but Gamer had joined them too. Michael was snoozing and oozing and Pyst lay bruised and battered, not two meters away from where Sarge, the freshly conscious Chael, Percival and Cartman. Heinrich version 93.2 stood in the centre of the cave damaged but not showing any signs of slowing down
"Okay men, listen up. Here's the plan…" Sarge whispered amongst the three squirrels. "Alright? Okay…3…2…umm…after two comes…oh yeah…1…LETS KICK SOME ALIEN ASS BOYS!"
Chael in the meantime had whipped out a cake of soap, a match, baking soda and a battery from his pack, mixed them all together and had himself a nice little piece of C4 ready. On Sarge's word he dashed towards the surprised Heinrich and placed the C4 directly under his belly.
"Boom," he muttered as he leapt into safety and the three-second fuse blew.
"GGGRRRRROOOWWWRRR! NOW YOUR GGGRRREALLY PISSING ME OFF!" yelled Heinrich.
"He speaks English?" asked Chael as Viper and Percival ran in now that the clone was in distress. Viper twirled his scythe in a circle round his body then with one swift movement…
*KA-shwing*
A large gash appeared on Heinrich's chest. Just as Heinrich was about to counter Percival threw two throwing knives at Heinrich's head. Heinrich was stunned for a few precious seconds. He swayed.
"Sarge!" yelled Percival, "NOW WOULD BE GOOD!"
Sarge had taken a pair of uzis from a dead Komiz. He leaped over the rock he was hiding behind.
"YOU BASTARD GET AWAY FROM MY SQUAD!"
All of Sarge's rage at the alien who had damaged most of his squad was in the trigger finger. His knuckles were white as he fired again and again at the alien clone.
*tatatatatatatatatatata*
"TAKE..."
*tatatatatatatatatatata*
"THAT..."
*tatatatatatatatatatata*
"YOU..."
*tatatatatatatatatatata*
"SON..."
*tatatatatatatatatatata*
"OF..."
*tatatatatatatatatatata*
"A..."
*tatatatatatatatatatata*
"BITCH!!!!!!"
Heinrich fell down his body and skull filled with lead bullets. Sarge tossed away the now useless uzis and walked close to him. In a last desperate attempt Heinrich lashed out with his claws. Sarge easily dodged the feeble attack. He got out his shotgun and held it to Heinrich's head.
"Sayonara sucker..."
*ka-BLAM*
Heinrich's head exploded his brains and other bodily fluids splattered on the wall.
"Okay team! We don't have that much time," he pointed to the tunnel were Oreos was taken "Men one of our fellows is in there with some utterly diabolical...Oh brother...you know what? Who gives a shit about tactics? Rest up then lets go save Oreos!"
After using med kits and grabbing extra ammo from the dead Komiz the team ran into the tunnel. Again.
(A/N You may be wondering why chapter 4 is called "Attack of the Clones"; you're going to find out why, right now)
Chapter 5: Saving Private Oreos
…Only to be chased back out by Heinrich snarling, spitting and biting.
"You guys up for another round?" yelled Sarge. Pyst grinned. CuMiT started up the tank engine. Squeaky's eyes lit up, as did his flamethrower. CuMiT placed a CD in the tanks CD player.
"…From the day I was born *babeongbabung* I was bad to the bone *babeongbabung* bbbbbbbbaaaaaad *babeongbabung* bbbbbbbbaaaaaad *badangdadingdadingdadingdadungdadadung*"
Gamer and Flatfeet, the only two not recruited by their own choice, gave the trio a sarcastic look. Michael started up his chainsaw.
"BBBBAAAAADDDDD!!!!" he yelled as he ran towards the drooling alien. Heinrich lashed out with his whip-like tail and slammed Michael into the cave wall. Blood was gushing out of his nose, as he lay unconscious. The music stopped abruptly as they realised that they were seriously in very, very, deep…
"Shit," swore Cartman. In an instant the platoon of 14 Squirrels and a Tediz was on full assault. Pyst readied his missile launcher and fired. The missile hit Heinrich in the right shoulder but it barely made the beast flinch. Heinrich growled at Pyst and narrowed his eyes.
"This is gonna hurt in the morn-'" he manage to say before a pair of strong and sharp claws flung him across the room. He fell into the dirt face down breathing a small sigh of relief at the fact that he landed relatively softly.
*WHU-PF*
Heinrich had leaped onto Pyst's back and was attempting to use the weight of his body to crush Pyst.
"Somebody go get Pyst, I'll cover you!" screamed Chael firing small, accurate bullets at the creatures eyes. Ender ran behind Heinrich and climbed up onto his neck.
"Chael if you shoot me I swear I'll kick you ass!" shouted Ender as he got out a titanium-tipped arrow which he used to plunge again and again into Heinrich's neck.
"What don't you trust him?" replied Stealth as he rolled under Heinrich and began delivering knife blows while all the while dodging the stamping feet around him. Heinrich began to feel tickling sensations at his belly and neck. They bothered him and he decided it would be best to attack these annoying little grey creatures rather than this pitiful, half dead one. He stepped off of Pyst and whirled around throwing off Ender and Stealth into the surrounding darkness.
Chael was looking through his scope when the two flying squirrels slammed into him rendering all three senseless. Percival crept towards the stunned Pyst and dragged him into safety.
Sarge, Flatfeet and Cartman stood in a circle around Heinrich and were firing at his oversized head. The rapid machine gun fire irritated Heinrich, but the shotgun and assault rifle were beginning to hurt. He turned to face Sarge and Flatfeet. He opened his jaws wide and…slammed them shut on the rotating chainsaw of WWW.
"GRRRROOOOOAAAAARRR!!!" roared Heinrich, his roar reverberating around the cave. He lashed out and WWW had a 12-inch gash along his arm that was bleeding badly, Flatfeet was in no better condition. Sarge had managed to leap behind a rock outcropping and avoided behind mauled.
"How the heck are we gonna get outta this one?"
---Mean while elsewhere---
Oreos had started waking up. His vision was blurry but he appeared to be in a holding cell of some sort.
"Oh...my head...man, what happened? I better not be where I think I am..." he voiced to no one. Or did he?
"And it's worse than that, look who you've got for company," said a snarling voice.
"YOU! I'd thought you'd manage to escape, we found no evidence of your death at all" Heinrich stepped out of the shadows. He grinned. He had no wounds whatsoever.
"There's no escaping from the Tediz, as you and Mr. Sarge just found out. It's only a matter of time before they get them too,"
"Wait a sec, you're the one who got me here!"
"Pfff. I wouldn't waste my time. That wasn't me it was my clone,"
"Clone?"
"When the Tediz recovered me in space, they patched things up. Healed my tail, sharpened my claws, even took the liberty of cloning me. The one that got you was version 93.2. They've perfected the cloning procedures. Now the Tediz have another weapon against you. You might want to tell your…Sarge,"
"Right," he searched himself for a radio. "Oh damn...they took my radio! Now the Sarge and the guys don't know about the clones!!! Oh shiii-"
"Now, now, now lets hold our tongue. You know that might not even have been your Sarge. For all you know, you've already lost the war..."
---5 minutes later---
"So wait, where's the rest of my squad?"
"They're probably fighting the clone right now...in the caves below us,"
"And how long might that take Mr. Smarty-pants?"
"They'll probably be killed,"
"Well that just great. Just great! What am I suppose to do now?"
"Up for a game of rock paper scissors?"
"Do I have a choice?"
"No"
"Riiiiiiiight,"
---Back in the caves---
Squeaky and CuMiT lay stunned by CuMiT's badly damaged tank. WWW was trying to stitch up his arm and Flatfeet's at the same time. Stealth and Ender still lay unconscious, but Gamer had joined them too. Michael was snoozing and oozing and Pyst lay bruised and battered, not two meters away from where Sarge, the freshly conscious Chael, Percival and Cartman. Heinrich version 93.2 stood in the centre of the cave damaged but not showing any signs of slowing down
"Okay men, listen up. Here's the plan…" Sarge whispered amongst the three squirrels. "Alright? Okay…3…2…umm…after two comes…oh yeah…1…LETS KICK SOME ALIEN ASS BOYS!"
Chael in the meantime had whipped out a cake of soap, a match, baking soda and a battery from his pack, mixed them all together and had himself a nice little piece of C4 ready. On Sarge's word he dashed towards the surprised Heinrich and placed the C4 directly under his belly.
"Boom," he muttered as he leapt into safety and the three-second fuse blew.
"GGGRRRRROOOWWWRRR! NOW YOUR GGGRRREALLY PISSING ME OFF!" yelled Heinrich.
"He speaks English?" asked Chael as Viper and Percival ran in now that the clone was in distress. Viper twirled his scythe in a circle round his body then with one swift movement…
*KA-shwing*
A large gash appeared on Heinrich's chest. Just as Heinrich was about to counter Percival threw two throwing knives at Heinrich's head. Heinrich was stunned for a few precious seconds. He swayed.
"Sarge!" yelled Percival, "NOW WOULD BE GOOD!"
Sarge had taken a pair of uzis from a dead Komiz. He leaped over the rock he was hiding behind.
"YOU BASTARD GET AWAY FROM MY SQUAD!"
All of Sarge's rage at the alien who had damaged most of his squad was in the trigger finger. His knuckles were white as he fired again and again at the alien clone.
*tatatatatatatatatatata*
"TAKE..."
*tatatatatatatatatatata*
"THAT..."
*tatatatatatatatatatata*
"YOU..."
*tatatatatatatatatatata*
"SON..."
*tatatatatatatatatatata*
"OF..."
*tatatatatatatatatatata*
"A..."
*tatatatatatatatatatata*
"BITCH!!!!!!"
Heinrich fell down his body and skull filled with lead bullets. Sarge tossed away the now useless uzis and walked close to him. In a last desperate attempt Heinrich lashed out with his claws. Sarge easily dodged the feeble attack. He got out his shotgun and held it to Heinrich's head.
"Sayonara sucker..."
*ka-BLAM*
Heinrich's head exploded his brains and other bodily fluids splattered on the wall.
"Okay team! We don't have that much time," he pointed to the tunnel were Oreos was taken "Men one of our fellows is in there with some utterly diabolical...Oh brother...you know what? Who gives a shit about tactics? Rest up then lets go save Oreos!"
After using med kits and grabbing extra ammo from the dead Komiz the team ran into the tunnel. Again.