Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ. I also do not own " Blurry" by Puddle of Mudd.
Author Notes: I decided to make a sequel to Sacrifice. I hope you like it.
Blurry
(Everything's so blurry and everyone's so fake)
(And everybody's empty and everything is so messed up)
(Preoccupied without you, I cannot live at all)
(My whole world surrounds you, I stumble and I crawl)
Looking at his geography book, Gohan couldn't help but feel a bit disoriented. He had stared at the cover for nearly an hour with no clue as to why. Well, perhaps he did know why and just wished to dismiss the thought, but could not.
How many times had he done this? It was just so stupid. Why didn't he just go outside for once? He was only wasting his time by staring at nothing. He could be outside training… Wait a minute. Training? Heh, like that was ever going to happen. He hadn't trained in about 6 years. Not even when his little brother was born. Hell, his brother had more freedom then he did.
It wasn't his fault he didn't train. I wasn't his fault he did everything his mother said. It wasn't his fault he was locked in his room. It wasn't his fault his room was so damn hot. It wasn't his fault his life was so messed up. In fact, nothing was his fault according to everybody around him for the past six years.
Gohan violently shoved the book off of his desk, and stood. " Forget this crap." He then walked out of his overheated room.
(You could be my someone, you could be my scene)
(You know that I'll protect you from all of the obscene)
(I wonder what you're doing, imagine where you are)
(There's oceans in between us, but that's not very far)
As Gohan strode out of his room he headed towards his mom's room. He wanted to ask her if he could go out for a while. If she didn't consent…well, what she doesn't know won't hurt her. When he reached her door he paused.
What was that sound? It sounded like crying, or sobbing. Was it his mom? He pushed the door open a bit. She apparently hadn't heard him, because sobs still racked her small frame. She was curled into a ball facing the other way on her bed. It was heart wrenching. Both her fetal position and her cries.
Gohan looked down in guilt. He knew that she still mourned for Goku. She loved him as much as he did. Of course she would be crying after all these years. Did he not carry the burden of guilt on his back, refusing any and all help? His brother, Goten, was obviously just as miserable because a man he didn't even know had taken away the souls from his only family.
Gohan huffed his disdain. This family is falling apart.
(Can you take it all away? Can you take it all away?)
(Well you shoved it in my face- this pain you gave to me)
(Can you take it all away? Can you take it all away?)
(When you shoved it in my face____________ )
Gohan soon found himself questioning his compassion. Why should he feel sorry for her? She gave birth to that little bastard look-alike. She was the one who assured everyone that they were fine. What a crock! She was lying between her teeth. When they had gotten back home from the hospital, she had forgotten the both of them for nearly two months! On top of that, when she had found out what she had done she had attempted to kill herself! She was as unstable as they came.
Over the years, most of the responsibility came over to him. He took care of everything, while his mother cried like a little schoolgirl… Not that he would know since she insisted on him learning at home. He was sick and tired of having to look after everybody. He just wanted some peace, and he wasn't going to get it because she would never stop crying.
I can't take it anymore! " SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP! You're being so selfish right now! You've been crying all this time when we have work! You need to get up and actually do something for once! How about you give Goten an extra treat today and actually talk to him! He'd probably pee in his pants from excitement."
Chi Chi looked up with wide eyes. " How dare you. How dare you speak to your mother like that!"
" Stop right there! I don't even know what you're talking about." He smirked. " I haven't seen my mother since I was eleven."
"Don't even go there Gohan." Her eyes took on a glazed quality. " It's your fault I'm like this in the first place."
She wouldn't-
" Goku had believed in you. He let you fight. You were the only one who could beat him Gohan. You. It got to your head didn't it? You wanted to take your time about it. You wanted to be the hero. Were you jealous or something?" She gave a trickled laugh. " Everyone knows it was really your fault Gohan. If you didn't act like a little baby, and try to play hero, then Goku would still be alive. That's why I know…you killed him. You did it on purpose, because you were jealous. You killed Goku." She looked at him unsteadily.
" You go too far. If you weren't drunk I'd-…"
Once again he was cut off.
" You'd what Gohan?"
He growled. " What are you doing here Yamtcha?
(Everyone is changing, there's no one left that's real)
(So make up your own ending and let me know just how you feel)
(Cause I am lost without you, I cannot live at all)
(My whole world surrounds you, I stumble then I crawl)
" Go outside and cool down. What your mother said was…wrong. I'll talk to her."
Without another word, Gohan turned and left. He frowned in disgust when he heard his mother breakdown once again. He flew away from the displeasing sounds of Yamtcha comforting her.
It wasn't fair. How could Yamtcha just take over like that? He'd never replace his dad. Never! This wasn't the first time that had happened. Ever since the brat was born, Yamtcha came over. It was annoying the demi saiyan enough to the point of violent thoughts. At least once a month, he makes a visit. He just wouldn't stay away!
If Krillen was here, he'd understand, but he's not. Gohan spat bitterly into the around him. He's married. I guess I don't mind Juuhachigou. Marron is okay too. It's just that, Krillen doesn't have any more time for me now that he has a…family. He has a family. Krillen has someone to worry about him. To worry when he stays out too late. Too worry when he doesn't talk to them anymore. I guess a guy can't help but feel jealous, but it's wrong. I know Krillen is my friend, and he wishes the best for me. I just wish…
Gohan landed within the darkened cave, lost to human eyes. Slowly, he slid down the cave wall. His sagging body showed just how drained he was. As he let his weighted eyelids lower, he finished his poignant train of thought.
"I just wish… I felt the same way…..."
(And you could be my someone, you could be my scene)
(You know that I will save you, from all of the unclean)
(I wonder what you're doing, wonder where you are)
(There's oceans in between us, but that's not very far)
Gohan awoke with a start. How long have I been here? He could see the stars sparkling brightly as if they were laughing at him. His stomach grumbled to show that dinner had indeed been missed. The most prominent thing was the annoying ache in his neck from staying in an uncomfortable position.
"Dammit!"
After venting himself he took off once more. This time, he was going home instead of away from it.
The wind whipped his hair back in a Vegeta-like style. The night's cold numbed his bared flesh. His eyes were cloudy and his thoughts were tainted with confusion and hate. Overwhelmed by his own feelings he began to panic, only to have that pushed down by surprise. It seemed that no cold could numb out the bitter sting of tears that had gotten pass his defenses. He always fought this battle, yet lost every time. No matter what happened he always lost.
As he got rid of his tears he noticed he was rapidly approaching the house. Thankfully, the wind dried rest of the lone tears just as he reached the house. He snarled quietly as he sensed Yamtcha's ki still within the household. I'll do something about him later. For now sleep will do me some good.
Sneaking in through his window, he spotted Goten asleep on the other bed. I guess he felt like sleeping in here today. The little tyke looked tuckered out, but what was that? He's shivering.
Gohan went up to him and put the kicked off covers back onto the child. Gohan smiled when his brother gave a contented sigh around the thumb held captive in his mouth. It was moments like this where he really loved his brother…and hated him.
(Can you take it all away? Can you take it all away?)
(Well you shoved it in my face- this pain you gave to me____!!!!)
Why do you have to look so much like him? Act so much like him? Even in your sleep you mock me! His face, his hair, his eyes! You have them all, and you flaunt it around me everyday! You always act just like him. You make those stupid mistakes and then you-
His thoughts were frantic now. And then you give that damned smile! That very same smile! It was my smile, and you took it! You took it away!
You're always laughing. Why? Are you laughing at me? Is that it? I bet you are! You-
(Can you take it all away? Can you take it all away?)
(Well you shoved it in my face- this pain you gave to me_____________!!!!)
He cut himself off when he noticed his ki was rising a bit. No! It is not Goten's fault. He paused. It's Goku's. My dad would never do something so selfish, but Goku would. Yeah, that's it! Dad's saiyan half must have caused him to become so uncaring.
Gohan walked past his sleeping brother to his own bed. I better go to sleep so I can think more clearly tomorrow. He was becoming unstable, and he knew it. He tried to suppress his thoughts, but they always came back. Nothing could take them away. The only one who could take them away was his dad. The same one that decided never to return. The man that decided to abandon his family and his friends. The same man who put the Earth's needs before his.
Once, a long time ago, he had believed Piccolo could take away his pain. He had believed in the namek, and had gone to him for comfort.
Gohan drifted off.
"Comfort, what a joke."
(Oh, nobody told me what you thought. Nobody told me what to say)
(Everyone showed you where to turn, showed you when to run away)
(12-year-old Gohan's memory)
Gohan floated near the meditating namekian. He waited. For what seemed like hours, Gohan floated in front of the green man eager to talk to him. Finally, the man opened his eyes and looked at the boy in askance.
The preteen cautiously explained his visit.
" I wanted to talk to you Mr. Piccolo. There's been something bothering me and I can't talk about it to anyone else."
Piccolo was silent so Gohan continued.
"Ever since Dad died, I've been carrying a lot of guilt around. I know you all told me it wasn't my fault, but I can't help but think that it is."
Gohan had started to tear up slightly, but Piccolo ignored it.
" Well, you're kind of like a second dad to me. I can talk to you and everything. I guess that's the reason I came up here. I just wanted to talk to you about stuff."
It was then that Piccolo responded.
" Shut up with all this sentimental crap. The only thing we have in common is fighting. I can barely tolerate you when we do that. I do not want to talk. I want to fight. I want peace. I want to be by myself, but you just won't leave me alone. You're always talking. You're always bringing that annoying noise near me. What's worst is you're always bringing those irritating friends of yours near me, and act like I'm inferior. You treat me as if I were a mere weakling. You act as if I care. Who do I look like? Your father?"
He quietly seethed fully expecting the boy to throw a fit. What he got was quite the opposite.
" I'm sorry for bothering you and wasting your time Mr. Piccolo. I'll leave you alone. I won't bother you anymore."
The boy floated back a bit.
" You'll never replace my dad, but I thought you could have helped take away the pain. The pain I feel in my soul that will never go away. I had thought you could take it away, because…I love you almost as much as love my dad."
He was truly crying now.
" I'm sorry- Piccolo. Goodbye."
With that, he flew away and refused to look back upon his childhood mentor.
Piccolo felt a pang in a heart he never knew to be there. He hadn't meant to hurt Gohan so deeply. He was just starting to get used to emotions, when Gohan had to come and pour all this on his lap. He had panicked and reverted to his past ways.
For the first time, he felt regret. It's a shame that that same feeling never went away, because the namekian never apologized. Actually, he never got the chance to. Gohan stayed true to his promise, and he never came back. He hadn't seen the hybrid in over five years…
(Nobody told you where to hide. Nobody told you what to say)
(Everyone showed you where to turn. Showed you when to RUN AWAY______________!!)
Gohan muttered incoherently as he was shaken awake. Who's trying to wake me up? He opened his eyes. There sat his little brother looking at him excitedly. He was surprised Goten would still come near him. He wasn't the nicest big brother he could be. Hell, just last week he…
(Memory from last week)
Gohan was pissed. Chi Chi had hit him upside the head with that damn pot, because he had ignored her request to fix the television. Why didn't she call somebody else to do it? She looked ready to slap him when he suggested she call Bulma.
He stormed into his room and found his brother on the floor with his toys. He stopped. " Oh, hi Gohan! I'm just playing with these cool toys I got from Trunks. Aren't they cool?!"
When he spoke, his voice was anything but friendly.
" They do not look cool when they're spread all across my floor. I've told you about this Goten."
The younger boy's eyes widened. " I'm sorry. I didn't know."
" STOP IT! Stop looking at me like that! Maybe if you listened, you wouldn't be having this problem. GO OUTSIDE NOW!"
Goten's eyes were moist with tears and body shook with silent sobs that had yet to be voiced. He opened the window and flew towards the desert clearing. There, he waited for his brother.
He didn't have to wait long. Soon after Gohan arrived, he proceeded to beat down upon the youngest. In his anger he turned Super Saiyan, and knocked the boy unconscious. Gohan felt a little guilt. He didn't have a scratch on him. Goten hadn't even fought back. He just kept getting back up. He always got back up. He stood there, looking just like Goku had in many battles determined not to give up. So, technically Gohan had been fighting Goku the whole time, and Goku could handle anything he dished out. Right?
Therefore, when he looked up to see his brother's bloodied and bruised form he immediately picked him up and carried him back home. He also bathed and bandaged him. When he was done he had put Goten to bed, and sat on his own to think.
" I wonder how that happened?"
He knew though. He had done that. Just like he did all those other times over the past years. It happened at least once a month. But just like Goku, he still forgave him. He acted like a true brother, and Gohan hated him all the more for it…
(Back to the present)
Gohan narrowed his eyes at his brother. " Why'd you wake me up?" " Yamtcha's gonna take us to the zoo today! It's gonna be so fun!" He was so excited he nearly bounced on Gohan's lap. Previous experiences taught him better.
" Yeah, yeah. Big whoop." He was just laying on the sarcasm.
Goten got up and ran out of the room to find Yamtcha. Meanwhile, Gohan got himself dressed and walked into the empty living room. He stopped when he heard one of the most hated voices he knew.
(Can you take it all away? Can you take it all away?)
(Well you shoved it in my face-this pain you gave to me)
"HI, I'm Hercule, and I'm the strongest man on Earth! I defeated Cell you know! Well, you can train at my dojo which was built over by the Koranda-whatever…huh? Wha? Ok. Built over by the Korandaichi River. It only costs 10,000 dollars. (AN: I forgot how to find the yen and I'm too lazy to look it up.) If you sign up now, you could have the opportunity to donate 500 dollars to the Hercule fund. Also-"
That was as far as he got before Gohan's fist found its way through the center of the television.
(Can you take it all away? Can you take it all away?)
(Well you shoved it in my face-this pain you gave to me)
The noise brought Chi Chi out of her hiding hole with Yamtcha and Goten in tow. " What's going on here?" She caught sight of the TV. " Son Gohan what is wrong with you? We can't afford another TV set. We're not rich. What did you think you were doing?"
It occurred to him that his actions were ironic when compared to his past motives.
" Nothing's wrong. I'm just becoming a saiyan. I'm out of here."
He took off and left the shocked group behind. Things will never be the same will they? He could feel the anger building up once again. He landed in the familiar forest. He felt his insides boil as if they were set on fire. His eyes flashed teal, then black, then teal again. His spiky hair was turned into a blinding golden inferno.
(NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO)
(THIS PAIN YOU GAVE TO ME!!!!)
He voiced his distress when he couldn't hold it in any longer.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" Nothing could describe the pain he was feeling.
(THIS PAIN YOU GAVE TO ME!!!!!!!)
He briefly phased into his second form before he dropped from the great energy drain. He didn't want to get up, because he had no reason to. Nobody would come get him. They knew better than that.
He just felt so confused.
Do I even know who I am anymore?
(Can you take it all?)
I can't go on like this. I'm not strong enough. I need you Dad…
(Can you take it all away?)
How could you destroy the family like this? We have fallen apart without you. I need you Husband…
(This pain you gave to me)
(Can you take it all away?)
I know I've never seen you before, but I want you to come home. Everybody is always sad, and nobody will play with me. Please come back Daddy…
(This pain you gave to me)
(Can you take it all away?)
(This pain you gave to me)
(Can you take it all away?)
(This pain you gave to me……)
………………………………………………………………………………………………
Owari
This is the sequel! I like it. It's a whole page and a half longer than the first one. Took me just as long to write too, if not a bit longer. I hope you like it! Gohan's a bit violent and evil in this, but he's supposed to be. Expect another sequel. I'll be using a song from Pink (you know…the singer). I don't know when it will be up though. I'm working on another story for DBZ, so that will take time. Plus my stories for Fushigi Yuugi and Tenchi Muyo are being worked on also. @@ So much work to do. Well, c'ya 'til my next fic! Ja! ^
PS: I still hope you read and review!