There comes a time when one must stand back from the problems at hand, and
attempt to get some sort of perspective. When one is too close to a
problem, it is very easy to make mistakes in handling it. And in our line
of work, mistakes can be quite literally fatal. Also, when all you can see
is the problem, sometimes solutions present themselves that seem
acceptable, but are not. Sometimes, things we would never contemplate seem
like the right thing to do. Remember this: The ends never justify the
means. And if it ever seems they do, it is time to take a step back.
-- From the journal of James Trenton, twenty-first chronicler of the Watcher's Council, December 6th, 1675
---
He had fully intended to keep his promise. If it had not been for the events in his crypt the night before, he would have left Buffy alone until she was ready to face him again. After the dream, his first instinct was to go to her, to make sure she wasn't in trouble, but he knew that, with the sun still in the sky, even if she was he wouldn't be able to help. Instead, he decided to wait until sunset.
He was startled when there was a knock on the door of his crypt. Before he could even call out to his visitor, the door opened, and Buffy walked into the crypt.
"Well, that's new. I was starting to think I should put a sign up out there saying 'Bloody well knock before entering'." He smirked, but was glad to see her, to see that she was alright.
Buffy seemed distracted. She simply stood in the doorway, looking at him.
"What's wrong, Slayer? Cat got your tongue?" Spike said.
"I just... never mind, I need to get in to work."
Spike stood, a look of concern crossing his face. "Is something wrong?"
Buffy looked down, and laughed. "No, I guess I just wanted to see if you had any other visitors last night."
Buffy looked at him, and for the first time noticed the tired look in his eyes. "Jeez, Spike, you look like hell. Anything happen I should know about?"
"Concerned, Slayer? I'm touched," Spike said, rising from his chair. The truth was, he was exhausted, but he'd be damned if he was going to tell her that. "You don't look so good, yourself. Did something happen?"
"No. No, I guess I just didn't sleep well either," Buffy said, her face clouding as she thought about the night before. "Bad dreams."
Spike took another step toward her, "What sort of dreams?"
"Nothing," Buffy said, then laughed. "I guess they come with the territory."
Spike thought about pressing the issue, but decided it would be better not to. "You should probably head off to work then. Thanks for stopping by."
Looking down at the floor, he added, "Thanks for knocking. It's strange, I guess, but it means a lot to me."
Buffy found she wanted to tell him all about the dream, she wanted to let him comfort her, let him touch her, but she shook it off. "You're welcome. But you're right, I need to get into work."
She pulled the door shut as she left, and Spike fell back into his chair. "I'm glad you're alright, Slayer," he whispered, as he stared at the closed door.
---
"And that's all he could tell me."
"And whatever is coming is supposed to be worse?" Willow asked, looking at Buffy from across the table. Tara sat next to her, her expression mirroring the fear and worry in Willow's voice.
"That's what it said," Buffy said, staring at her two friends. "We don't have much to go on, and right now, we don't really have any reason to believe what it said. But Spike was scared, honestly scared, and anything that could do that to him... If it wanted to hurt us, I don't think we could do much about it. But we don't know enough about it to even begin researching it, so, I guess all we can do now is wait for it to come back."
"I-I felt something the other night. I was in bed, and I started to feel like something was pressing in on me. Like," Tara paused, looking for the right words. "It felt like I was being crushed."
Willow looked at her, and siad gently, "Why didn't you say something?"
Tara avoided Willow's eyes, and, staring at the tabletop, said "I didn't think it was important."
Buffy stood suddenly. "I hate waiting! There has to be something we can do."
"Maybe we should hit the books anyway," Willow stared at Buffy, and tried to force a smile. "All we have to do is look for really old, really powerful evil red-eyed things. Oh, oh, and the thing about it saying "we" all the time. Maybe that's important?"
"Thanks Will. Actually, if you two could handle that, I'd appreciate it. I need to go see Spike, see if maybe he's remembered anything else. Hey, if I'm really unlucky," Buffy said, "maybe it'll show up while I'm there."
---
Spike was just entering his crypt when Buffy got there. "Hiya," she said, startling him, and nearly causing him to drop the bag of groceries he was carrying.
"Bloody hell! What do ya think you're doing, sneaking up on me like that?" Spike pushed the door to his crypt open, and motioned for Buffy to enter.
Inside, Spike set the bag down, and asked, "So, what do you need?"
"Is there anything about your, um, guest the other night you didn't tell me?" she asked, quickly adding "Something you forgot about?"
"No. I think I pretty much covered everything that happened."
"Then, is there something else going on?"
Spike sighed. Buffy still found it amusing that a creature that didn't need to breathe still felt the need to
sigh. "Don't you think I would have told you if there was?"
"I don't know, Spike. When I think I finally understand you, you do something that totally throws me off. What was going on with you the other night? When you found me in the graveyard, before everything else happened?"
Spike shrugged. "Is that what you really want to know? What that was, was me trying to give you what you wanted. Of course, how the hell should I know what you really want, when you don't even know yourself?"
Becoming angry, he continued, "I also did it because I had to do something. Since you told me it was over, and then that whole bit at the wedding, bloody hell woman, what am I supposed to do? Are we friends? Are we lovers? Are we enemies again? I'm sick of it, I'm sick of not knowing what I am to you. I'm sick of being your dirty little secret, I'm sick and bloody well tired of it all. So what was that the other night? It was me trying to give you a way to avoid the temptation, without having you drive me insane! I was trying to keep you away from me until we can both handle being around eachother. But I should have known it wouldn't work, when it comes to you, nothing I try to do ever works."
"And I don't know why I'm bothering to tell you any of this," he said, shaking his head. "Bugger it. It's not like any of it matters. Why don't you go home, Slayer, be with your friends. If the big nasty comes back, I'll let you know."
Buffy stood in shock, trying to absorb everything Spike had said to her. Slowly, her face clouded with anger. "So this is my fault now? Maybe if you'd just said that to me instead of being all mysterious, maybe if you'd tried actually talking to me about it, I..." she stopped.
"What? What would you have done? It's not like you ever really listen to me. Not like you EVER stop to consider what I may be feeling. I may be a vampire, but I am also a man, no matter what you may think."
"And another thing..."
Buffy cut him off before he could finish the thought. "You're right."
"Uh, what?" Spike said, not sure if he had heard her correctly.
"I said you're right."
Spike had been ready for a battle, or at least having Buffy storm off like she normally did, but he found himself struggling for a way to respond after what she'd said. "I am," he managed, though the way it came out, even he wasn't sure if it was a statement or a question.
"You are. And I'm sorry."
---
While the two who had been both enemies and lovers talked, and cried, and laughed together, dark, shapeless things watched, a multitude of voices chittering their pleasure that the chosen warriors were fulfilling their parts so well. And an even darker being stirred, forming its first conscious thought in millenia.
"Soon."
---
Notes:
I've been sick for the past 2 days, so forgive me if this chapter is a bit talky. I found, in the editing, that I needed it to go certain places just for my own enjoyment and peace of mind. Both the wedding episode of BtVS and the episode of AtS before it left me in a very very dark mood, and this is my response.
I also have to say, I actually like it better this way. As originally written, it disturbed even me *grin* Never fear, I'm just saving that for the next chapter.
-- From the journal of James Trenton, twenty-first chronicler of the Watcher's Council, December 6th, 1675
---
He had fully intended to keep his promise. If it had not been for the events in his crypt the night before, he would have left Buffy alone until she was ready to face him again. After the dream, his first instinct was to go to her, to make sure she wasn't in trouble, but he knew that, with the sun still in the sky, even if she was he wouldn't be able to help. Instead, he decided to wait until sunset.
He was startled when there was a knock on the door of his crypt. Before he could even call out to his visitor, the door opened, and Buffy walked into the crypt.
"Well, that's new. I was starting to think I should put a sign up out there saying 'Bloody well knock before entering'." He smirked, but was glad to see her, to see that she was alright.
Buffy seemed distracted. She simply stood in the doorway, looking at him.
"What's wrong, Slayer? Cat got your tongue?" Spike said.
"I just... never mind, I need to get in to work."
Spike stood, a look of concern crossing his face. "Is something wrong?"
Buffy looked down, and laughed. "No, I guess I just wanted to see if you had any other visitors last night."
Buffy looked at him, and for the first time noticed the tired look in his eyes. "Jeez, Spike, you look like hell. Anything happen I should know about?"
"Concerned, Slayer? I'm touched," Spike said, rising from his chair. The truth was, he was exhausted, but he'd be damned if he was going to tell her that. "You don't look so good, yourself. Did something happen?"
"No. No, I guess I just didn't sleep well either," Buffy said, her face clouding as she thought about the night before. "Bad dreams."
Spike took another step toward her, "What sort of dreams?"
"Nothing," Buffy said, then laughed. "I guess they come with the territory."
Spike thought about pressing the issue, but decided it would be better not to. "You should probably head off to work then. Thanks for stopping by."
Looking down at the floor, he added, "Thanks for knocking. It's strange, I guess, but it means a lot to me."
Buffy found she wanted to tell him all about the dream, she wanted to let him comfort her, let him touch her, but she shook it off. "You're welcome. But you're right, I need to get into work."
She pulled the door shut as she left, and Spike fell back into his chair. "I'm glad you're alright, Slayer," he whispered, as he stared at the closed door.
---
"And that's all he could tell me."
"And whatever is coming is supposed to be worse?" Willow asked, looking at Buffy from across the table. Tara sat next to her, her expression mirroring the fear and worry in Willow's voice.
"That's what it said," Buffy said, staring at her two friends. "We don't have much to go on, and right now, we don't really have any reason to believe what it said. But Spike was scared, honestly scared, and anything that could do that to him... If it wanted to hurt us, I don't think we could do much about it. But we don't know enough about it to even begin researching it, so, I guess all we can do now is wait for it to come back."
"I-I felt something the other night. I was in bed, and I started to feel like something was pressing in on me. Like," Tara paused, looking for the right words. "It felt like I was being crushed."
Willow looked at her, and siad gently, "Why didn't you say something?"
Tara avoided Willow's eyes, and, staring at the tabletop, said "I didn't think it was important."
Buffy stood suddenly. "I hate waiting! There has to be something we can do."
"Maybe we should hit the books anyway," Willow stared at Buffy, and tried to force a smile. "All we have to do is look for really old, really powerful evil red-eyed things. Oh, oh, and the thing about it saying "we" all the time. Maybe that's important?"
"Thanks Will. Actually, if you two could handle that, I'd appreciate it. I need to go see Spike, see if maybe he's remembered anything else. Hey, if I'm really unlucky," Buffy said, "maybe it'll show up while I'm there."
---
Spike was just entering his crypt when Buffy got there. "Hiya," she said, startling him, and nearly causing him to drop the bag of groceries he was carrying.
"Bloody hell! What do ya think you're doing, sneaking up on me like that?" Spike pushed the door to his crypt open, and motioned for Buffy to enter.
Inside, Spike set the bag down, and asked, "So, what do you need?"
"Is there anything about your, um, guest the other night you didn't tell me?" she asked, quickly adding "Something you forgot about?"
"No. I think I pretty much covered everything that happened."
"Then, is there something else going on?"
Spike sighed. Buffy still found it amusing that a creature that didn't need to breathe still felt the need to
sigh. "Don't you think I would have told you if there was?"
"I don't know, Spike. When I think I finally understand you, you do something that totally throws me off. What was going on with you the other night? When you found me in the graveyard, before everything else happened?"
Spike shrugged. "Is that what you really want to know? What that was, was me trying to give you what you wanted. Of course, how the hell should I know what you really want, when you don't even know yourself?"
Becoming angry, he continued, "I also did it because I had to do something. Since you told me it was over, and then that whole bit at the wedding, bloody hell woman, what am I supposed to do? Are we friends? Are we lovers? Are we enemies again? I'm sick of it, I'm sick of not knowing what I am to you. I'm sick of being your dirty little secret, I'm sick and bloody well tired of it all. So what was that the other night? It was me trying to give you a way to avoid the temptation, without having you drive me insane! I was trying to keep you away from me until we can both handle being around eachother. But I should have known it wouldn't work, when it comes to you, nothing I try to do ever works."
"And I don't know why I'm bothering to tell you any of this," he said, shaking his head. "Bugger it. It's not like any of it matters. Why don't you go home, Slayer, be with your friends. If the big nasty comes back, I'll let you know."
Buffy stood in shock, trying to absorb everything Spike had said to her. Slowly, her face clouded with anger. "So this is my fault now? Maybe if you'd just said that to me instead of being all mysterious, maybe if you'd tried actually talking to me about it, I..." she stopped.
"What? What would you have done? It's not like you ever really listen to me. Not like you EVER stop to consider what I may be feeling. I may be a vampire, but I am also a man, no matter what you may think."
"And another thing..."
Buffy cut him off before he could finish the thought. "You're right."
"Uh, what?" Spike said, not sure if he had heard her correctly.
"I said you're right."
Spike had been ready for a battle, or at least having Buffy storm off like she normally did, but he found himself struggling for a way to respond after what she'd said. "I am," he managed, though the way it came out, even he wasn't sure if it was a statement or a question.
"You are. And I'm sorry."
---
While the two who had been both enemies and lovers talked, and cried, and laughed together, dark, shapeless things watched, a multitude of voices chittering their pleasure that the chosen warriors were fulfilling their parts so well. And an even darker being stirred, forming its first conscious thought in millenia.
"Soon."
---
Notes:
I've been sick for the past 2 days, so forgive me if this chapter is a bit talky. I found, in the editing, that I needed it to go certain places just for my own enjoyment and peace of mind. Both the wedding episode of BtVS and the episode of AtS before it left me in a very very dark mood, and this is my response.
I also have to say, I actually like it better this way. As originally written, it disturbed even me *grin* Never fear, I'm just saving that for the next chapter.