By: Amy the Yu

An Unrelated Fic

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing (even though I wish I did). Gundam Wing owns me and the Sotsu Agency and Sunrise own everything the least bit Gundam Wing.

Warning: Yaoi and extreme OOCness. You've been warned, so read at your own stupidity.

Content: Humour

Now on with the fic:

~*~*~*~

It was a beautiful day on Earth. The sun was shinning, the skies were clear and the birds were singing. The war was over and the Gundam pilots have finally settled into a relatively normal lifestyle. They had all decided to stay on Earth for different reasons and were living at one of Quatre's many mansions. They had all adjusted quite well and were enjoying their time away from the battlefield. All was well and all was peaceful until...

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...MY HAIR, MY HAIR, OH GOD SOMEONE SAVE MY HAIR!!!!!!!!"

With that, the peace was shattered into a million, billion, trillion, etc...little pieces.

Thuds were heard as the overly energetic, former pilot of Deathscythe...a.k.a. Duo Maxwell jumped around the mansion trying to find something that could put out the small fire that danced in his precious hair.

Finally, finding nothing, he grabbed the cup of very hot tea that Quatre was just about to drink and doused his hair with it's contents. However, his relief was VERY short-lived as he came to a realization...

Duo: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...MY SCALP,MY SCALP, OH GOD SOMEONE SAVE MY SCALP!!!!!!!!

The other pilots sat around the spacious livingroom of Quatre's mansion and watched the unfortunate Duo hop about in pain as the hot tea slowly burned his head.

At first, they found it amusing to see Duo in pain, but after a few short minutes, they took pity on him and decided to help him out.

Heero: Is there any water around here?

Trowa jerked a thumb towards the vase of bright flowers and Heero quickly grabbed the flowers out of the vase and poured the water onto his frantic koibito's singed head.

The look of fear finally left Duo's face as the cool vase water stopped the burning.

Duo whimpered as he cradled his poor limp braid in his arms and peered at it's scorched tip.

Duo: Thanks koi. That feels a lot better, but it still hurts.

Heero: That's too bad.

Duo: But my head hurts.

Heero: Well, what do you want me to do?

Duo: *points at his burnt head* You could kiss it better.

Heero sweatdropped at this and pushed Duo away.

Heero: I don't think so. You look like a lobster. A COOKED lobster.

Duo's bottom lip began to quiver after being rejected by his koibito. He turned to leave so the others wouldn't see him cry.

Heero actually felt bad, which is quite scary since he's supposed to be the "Perfect Soldier". He went and gave Duo a big hug. Everyone was suprised by this and Duo was downright scared (thinking for just a moment that Heero was trying to strangle him). Duo looked at his koi and smiled like the grinning idiot that he is.

Soon, they were making out in a rather undignified fashion.

Quatre: Kuso! Now I'm gonna have to go make myself another cup of tea. What a waste of good tea.

Trowa: Don't be mad. I hate to see you so upset.

Trowa looked lovingly into Quatre's eyes as he leaned over to kiss his little angel.

Wufei: Mush...I hate mush...Dammit guys, stop being so mushy, you're going to give me a nosebleed.

Their kiss was just getting interesting when they felt something wet splatter onto their faces. They broke their kiss, as did Heero and Duo, and watched as Wufei's nose erupted into a fountain of blood.

Wufei: Shimatta! My nose. Look what you did. I told you that you'd give me a nosebleed. Can't you hentais stay off eachother for even one day.

Duo: Nope.*smirk*

The unfortunate bleeding Wufei ran out of the room holding his nose muttering that he would never get the bloodstains out of his clothes. He was also cursing in a rather funny sounding voice.

Wufei: Peenama!! Nar miff doe tuthdis!!! (Translation: Kisama!! There is no justice!!!)

The others watched and gave a generous round of sweatdrops. They watched in shock as Wufei stalked away to somehow quell his nosebleed before he died of blood loss.

After several minutes of gawking - or in this case, after several minutes of displaying their tonsils - at the door that Wufei disappeared through, Duo suddenly turned away from the door and faced his friends. His braid smacked right into Heero's face, who was right behind him, and broke the silence (and quite possibly breaking Heero's nose too).

Duo: Man...that was great wasn't it? We should make Wuffie do that more often. It's so entertaining to see him bleed.

Quatre giggled girlishly, Heero raised an eyebrow and Trowa didn't show any visible reaction (which was expected).

Heero: You have a REALLY twisted sense of humour.

Duo: Not as weird as yours.

Heero: Whatever.

Duo: What exactly do you mean by that?!

Heero: Nothing.

Duo: There! You did it again.

Heero: Did what again?

Duo: You know...that thing...

Heero: What thing? I didn't do ANYTHING!!!

Duo: Yes, you did!

Heero: No, I didn't!

Duo: Yes, you did!

Heero: No, I didn't!

Duo: Yes, you di-

Quatre: Now, now, children...If you don't stop arguing, I'm going to have to separate you two.

There was a short pause after Quatre's remark and the sound of Duo's grumbling (which sounded suspiciously like the word 'smart-ass'). Then the sound of Heero's hand making contact with bare skin as he effortlessly backhanded Quatre.

Duo: No unwanted comments from the Peanut Gallery, please.

As Quatre checked his face for any damage that Heero may have caused, Trowa turned to Heero.

Trowa: Heero, that was rude, unnecessary and you…you are a very bad man.

Duo: You almost never talk and when you finally open your mouth to say something, that's the best you can come up with?! PATHETIC!!!

Trowa, rather traumatized that his one attempt to insult someone was laughed at, turned and left the room, no expression on his face, dragging Quatre out with him, who was still busy checking his face over for damages that Heero may have inflicted.

Duo: Why did everyone leave us?

Heero: They left because you were being a complete idiot.

Duo: Was not.

Heero: Was too.

Duo: Was not.

Heero: Was too.

Duo: Was not.

A door opened upstairs and Wufei put in his two cents.

Wufei: SHUT UP!!! Stop whining like Relena with a bad hair day.

Duo: EWW!!! RELENA!!! I HATE RELENA!!! I am nothing like her!!! Wuffie, how can you say that? I'm insulted…extremely insulted. You are going to regret saying that.

With a brief war cry, Duo launched himself at Wufei with the intention of making Wufei pay for the rather demeaning comparison to Relena.

Heero looked on as Wufei ran for dear life with Duo right on his tale ready to beat him to a bloody pulp for insulting him. Having nothing better to do, Heero followed them to watch the action as Duo started to gain ground on Wufei.

Heero: This is going to be one interesting day…

OWARI