This is one part of many little short stories spun off from
my Officer Saotome series. It's sort of a prequel, detailing
the daily life of Ranma during his days as a policeman. You
will have to read Officer Saotome as a prerequisite before
reading this, otherwise don't blame me if the story seems
totally out of line, or if it is uninteresting to you. I
doubt most people will be too interested in this spin-off,
since it was spawned from the suggestions of one fan.
Here are a few things you must know while reading this:
-For all of you readers, PLEASE read the notes at the end of
the fic before you start flaming me for things that you
don't understand or think is bogus, my notes just might
answer all your questions. If that doesn't do it, feel free
to pound away at my mailbox.
Ooop, as always, my fics are all R-rated in terms of movie
ratings, and this one is no exception. So don't complain!
Otherwise, enjoy! ^_^
-SgtRanma
Please visit my website at http://sgtranma.anifics.com! New
fics will always appear there first! And I update often!
****ONCE AGAIN, I'M WARNING YOU. IF YOU HAVE NOT READ MY
PREVIOUS FIC OFFICER SAOTOME UP TO CHAPTER 4 COMPLETELY, DO
NOT READ THIS. OTHERWISE IT WILL NOT MAKE SENSE! THIS IS A
PREQUEL! OFFICER SAOTOME CAN BE FOUND IN THE WEBSITE
MENTIONED ABOVE! However, if you really want to read it that
bad, just go ahead. It's just that a couple of huge details
(such as why the hell Ranma is in Los Angeles anyway and as
a cop, of all things) won't make sense to you.****
------------------------
The Daily Report
File No. 01b: It's a Hard Knock Life, For Us!
January 27th, 1999.
77th Street Division Precinct, LAPD - Los Angeles,
California. 2:03 PM.
"Get in," the young pigtailed police officer pointed to
the passenger side of the black and white Chevy Caprice
police cruiser. "Let's go for a ride."
The eager and anxious Ichino gladly obliged and boarded
the passenger side, awaiting her first day of real police
work. The inside of the car was the same as the vehicles she
was trained with in the Academy, although thankfully this
car had the newer generation of police radio controls and
siren/light functions, along with a central info pod which
was a modified laptop computer. She continued to fidget with
her police tools strapped on to her, trying to get into a
comfortable position.
She bumped her head slightly against something behind
her. Ichino turned around to see what the hell it was, a
shotgun electronically locked in the shotgun rack. Oh yeah,
she forgot about that.
Ranma climbed into the driver's seat and slammed the
door shut, his large PR-24 baton (the T handled nightstick)
held in his left hand. He slid the baton into a little slot
near the door to comfortable place it. Ichino saw this and
did the same, no wonder she could never sit comfortably -
although her instructors had never advised cadets to do
this.
Ranma grabbed the receiver for the radio to transmit.
"This is unit 12-Adam-14, heading out for patrol from base,
over."
A series of digital blips and bleeps followed. "Unit
12-Adam-14, acknowledged. Respond to domestic disturbance
dispute on 1st and Main, over."
"10-4, enroute." Ranma clicked the receiver back in
place. Here he was, with a new rookie partner, his car
wasn't even started yet and he already had a collar to
respond to. Quite a typical day in LA.
"We already have a call?" Ichino asked, thrilled. Her
eyes lit up like a little girl waiting to open her presents
on Christmas day. She barely held in her excitement with a
giggle.
"Yeah," he replied. "I'm surprised that it's such a
lame call though, I was expecting something bigger."
Ranma twisted the keys to the ignition, sparking a low
rumbling V8 burble. He shifted the column transmission into
Drive and floored his way out of the motor pool and
screeched out into the streets.
Ichino hastily pulled her seatbelt and latched it
securely, her heart pounding in anticipation of the day's
work. She'd never been to Downtown Los Angeles before, she'd
gone to college in Orange County, living in nice suburban
areas. This place was completely different, the streets were
filled with pedestrians walking to and fro, the lower levels
of the sidewalks were full of colorfully decorated
businesses, mostly run by Hispanics. The sky was contrasted
with the vast grey of corporate skyscrapers and the
trademark smog cap that smothered all of Los Angeles and the
greater area of LA County.
As Ranma drove through the heavy traffic, weaving in
and out of cars which were nervously being steered away by
drivers wary of the police cruiser, Ichino continued to scan
through around the neighborhood, finding new things
everywhere. On one sidewalk was a huge cargo van with a flip
open side, serving as a moving fast food restaurant for
hungry pedestrians. Mexican men and women set up little
stands on the sidewalk, selling jewelry and other goods to
people who passed by.
There were various street peddlers, suspicious looking
hoodlums, teenage mothers with six bawling kids, and she
could have sworn that she saw a guy on a street corner
claiming to sell fake IDs and Green Cards for the illegal
Mexican and Asian immigrants.
Of course when Ranma and Ichino's police unit drove by
the illegal ID hustler, he quickly ran and hid. Ichino
noticed this, but her partner just drove by and seemed to
have either ignored it or failed to notice.
"Hey, Ranma?" she asked, and then bit her lip. "It's
okay if I can call you, Ranma, right?"
"You're Japanese, aren't you? You can call me with
Japanese suffixes if it makes you comfortable," he replied.
She shrugged. "I guess I'll call you Ranma-kun or
Saotome-kun then," she said. "Did you see that guy selling
the fake ID's? Shouldn't we go back and bust him?" she
asked. She felt a sense of justice urging up.
Ranma glanced at Ichino with the corner of his eye,
smirking. "Yeah, I saw him. There are hundreds of guys like
him in the city. When we come back around this route we'll
have to sneak up on him, it's no use chasing him if he runs
away like he did. For now we have a call to respond to."
Ichino shrugged. "Okay."
--------------
2:18 PM
"I tell ya, I did nuthin'! Nuttin' I tell ya! That bag
of hot air is just running her gawdang mouth off!"
"Err, hang on there," Ichino ground out. Her fingers
scribbled hastily on her writing pad, jotting down as much
crucial info as she could in shorthand.
On the other end of dim lit living room of this middle
classed home, Ranma blocked off an eccentric, frizzled lady
sticking her arm out, pointing and shouting at her husband.
"He's a bum! A no good lying bastard! He doesn't do shit at
home, he don't do shit for work! And then he comes home
today, and slaps me up like some junkyard dog!" she yelled
accusingly. She pointed out some red marks on her face,
along with some scratches on her arms. "Y' see here? Those
are what he did!"
"Hey, girl! I didn't start this mess! You punched me
and scratched me up first!" He showed his own scars. "See
this?!"
The two officers could do nothing but hold them back
from each other and let them tell their arguments. However
one was just nodding his head to the words of a whining
citizen.
"Aw, gawdamn woman! Why'dja gotta bring up Paco? He got
nothin' to do with this!"
Ichino only sighed.
--------------
2:31 PM
"12-Adam-14, on our way."
A slightly miffed figure barely got herself to sit in
the passenger seat when she heard the Ranma's response to
the radio. "Aw, jeez. There's already another call?"
"Yeah, don't worry about it, this one's only two blocks
away," Ranma replied.
The Caprice quickly hustled over to a busier street and
into heavier traffic. Ranma drove the car over the curb,
riding along partially on the sidewalk to avoid the
unusually congested traffic. There was a lot of honking up
front though, and it appeared there was something weird
happening.
Both officers finally came up to an alleyway, where all
the honking seeming to be taking place. Ranma turned on the
bar lights on top of the cruiser and got out of his car to
investigate what the problem was.
Ichino stepped out too, but at her feet she found some
clothes strewn around. It was a pair of pants, a shirt, some
dirty underwear, and other assorted items. She looked over
to her partner, who had his sidearm out and raised in a
combat ready stance. He was slowly circling around to see
what was in the alley.
Ichino was genuinely confused. "What are you doing,
Ranma-kun? Why the hell do you have your piece out?" she
asked.
She saw the corner of his eye, quickly giving her a
glance, then looking forward again. "It was an unknown call,
we don't know what we're up against, Ichino. Didn't they
teach you that you should be prepared to face the worst
situation possible for call like that?" he scolded her.
Her eyes grew wide and she immediately drew her pistol
from her holster, her stance shifted to imitate Ranma. She
leaned against the wall adjacent to the alley, getting in
position to give her partner support. She heard a bunch of
random shuffling, and some shorts howls and other bizarre
noises.
With a nod to his partner, Ranma inched towards the
alley, cornering around. "This is the Los Angeles Police
Department," he yelled out.
Ichino turned around the edge to face the alley, and
almost dropped her gun as her face blushed bright red.
There in front of them, was a deranged man in his late
twenties, dancing naked next to a dumpster. He was flopping
up and down, lewdly showing off all of his parts.
"Holy shit, what the hell is he doing?" Ichino asked,
embarrassed. She still had her gun raised and pointed in the
general direction of the guy.
Ranma laughed out loud and holstered his weapon. "Oh
man, what a day," he chuckled. He looked over to Ichino.
"Don't worry, this guy's pretty much harmless for now." He
motioned for her to put her weapon away. "Just don't let him
get close, then we'll have to shoot him." He walked back to
the police cruiser to get something from the trunk.
Ichino complied and holstered her weapon. She clicked
the radio phone piece on her chest with her thumb.
"Dispatch, this is 12-Adam-14. We have a 5150* on Stanton
and 1st, requesting backup."
The radio which was on her Sam Brown gave a series of
digital chirps. "Acknowledged, sending units right away."
"Stand back, I'll take care of this guy," Ranma said
from behind, startling Ichino.
"Ack! What the hell are you doing?" She looked at the
device in his hands. "What are you doing with that tazer
gun?"
Ranma looked at her funny, as if the answer was
obvious. "I'm gonna zap him, of course. What else would I
do?"
She shrugged and stepped out of the way. "Go ahead, fry
him."
Two sharp needle hooks shot out from the bulky tazer
gun, latching onto the chest of the deranged man. On
immediate contact a 10,000 watt surge of electricity
immobilized him and sent him to the ground, convulsing in
pain. The onlookers and passengers in their cars clapped
their hands as they saw the annoying loony go down.
Ranma continued zapping the man for another ten
seconds, to make sure he would be completely harmless. There
was no telling what drugs this bastard could've used to keep
himself hopped up.
"Ouch." Ichino walked closer to the naked man on the
ground, who's eyes were wide open and teeth tightly
clenched. "I guess he better knock on wood, huh?"
--------------
3:09 PM
"Jeez, officers, I wasn't selling no fake ID's, I swear
on my mother's grave!" the street peddler argued.
"Yeah, yeah. Get your hands against the wall, you're
under arrest," Ranma said, pushing him roughly.
"Hey, fuck you pig, I want one of those guys who talk
smart for you and wear a suit!" he yelled, shoving back.
Ranma swept his feet quicker than the peddler could see
and tripped him painfully on the ground. "Get over here
Yanagida, frisk 'em."
"Yay!" She happily complied as Ranma stepped away from
the man to allow her to work. She purposefully dropped to
one knee on the back of his spine, causing him to yelp in
pain. She cuffed him and proceeded to search him from head
to toe. "I always liked doing this at the academy," she
said, looking up at Ranma.
Ranma smirked as Ichino read off the guy's Miranda
rights.
--------------
3:35 PM
"I'm sorry sir, but I saw you run that red light, and
judging from the speed of your car, you should've been able
to stop," Ichino explained.
The young Asian kid in his new red Honda Accord just
hated it when things like this happened to him. Of all the
rotten luck. "Hey girl, you may be cute and all, so I hope
you can gimme a break." He tapped his steering wheel. "See
this ride? It's bran' new, I don't want to wear out the damn
brakes, you understand me?"
A couple of the kids friends were laughing out loud in
the passenger seats, amused at the nerve of their driver.
Ranma was right outside, near the rear, covering Ichino's
back in case these clowns pulled anything.
Ichino however, was a little peeved at his comment.
"Oh, well that's too bad. I'm gonna write you a ticket
anyway." She pretended to write for a moment and then turned
her head up, pointing to the glass on the front passenger
window. "Oop. That's an illegally tinted window there, I
gotta cite you for that!"
The arrogant young kid shook his head in confusion.
"What?"
She wasn't done yet, this kid needed a lesson. "Oh, and
I see you have clear corner bulbs for the turning lights.
That's another citation! Oh, and you have something hanging
on your rearview mirror!"
"Wait a sec..." the kid nervously said. He was starting
to think that it was a serious mistake to taunt this
officer.
Ichino finished up writing the ticket and handed it to
the driver to sign. "There you go, just sign at the bottom,
and the court date is also written on the ticket."
"Damn..." the kid mumbled, reluctantly signing the
ticket, which was well written and very descriptive.
Ichino ripped off the top white sheet and kept the two
carbon copies. "Thank you for your cooperation!"
The car drove off cautiously, and the driver seemed to
look like he was crying. Ichino walked back to the police
cruiser, Ranma joining her.
"You're such a spoil sport," he playfully taunted her.
She replied with a smile and gave him a raspberry.
"Biddaahh!"
--------------
3:49 PM
"All units, officer needs assistance, please respond."
"Goddammit, another one?!" Ichino exclaimed.
"10-4, unit 12-Adam-24 responding," Ranma said to the
radio receiver. He looked over to his partner. "Hey, what an
exciting job, ne?"
Ichino replied with a groan.
--------------
4:22 PM
"So just because it's 4:20 in the afternoon all of you
had to light up in this little apartment? What were you
gonna do, suffocate yourselves?"
"We're sorry Miss Lady Officer, you wan' join us?" a
stoned guy offered.
"No!" Ichino yelled. "Get against the wall, you're all
under arrest!"
Ranma walked back into the living room from a bedroom,
with a look of disbelief on his face. "Damn, Ichino you
should check it out, it's the biggest damn bong I've ever
seen!" he laughed.
Ichino blink-blinked. "What?" she said, confused.
"Yeah! That's our masterpiece!" another guy laughed out
loud. "We call it Sir Smoke a Lot!"
Ichino face faulted.
--------------
4:58 PM
"Please, officers! Help me! The one eyed, one armed,
one legged man is trying to stab me!"
"???" Ichino looked dazed as she saw a crazed lady
running towards her and Ranma in their cruiser as they sat
in traffic.
"Don't worry, strange shit happens here all the time,"
Ranma reassured her.
"......"
--------------
5:10 PM
"How the heck did you get your dick stuck in a
vacuum?!" Ichino yelled angrily.
The two officers were at a gas station, where a number
of people were slowly crowding around, much to one man's
dismay. He apparently had his...thing, stuck in the shop vac
they offered at the side of the gas station, the kind used
to clean the inside of your car.
"I couldn't help it!" he yelled, embarrassed. "It's
only for four quarters! It looked so tempting!"
Ranma looked at him with his eyebrows raised. "You're
one sick bastard, you know that?"
"I haven't cranked in two days! That's why!"
Ichino slapped her forehead.
--------------
6:01 PM
"Unit 12-Adam-14, taking a Code-7," Ranma said to the
receiver.
"Acknowledged," the radio replied.
"Whew!" Ichino sighed happily. "Finally we can get some
dinner now!" She counted off all the calls the responded to
and the number of traffic tickets they gave out. "Wow, we
gave out 41 tickets, and responded to 13 calls so far. And
the day isn't even over. I can't wait to eat now."
Ranma drove the cruiser into a small lot and parked the
car. "I know a good teriyaki place here, and they serve cops
for half price too."
"Good! I'm starving!" Ichino happily said.
The radio bleeped at that moment. "All units, all
units, officers need immediate assistance, over."
Ranma immediately started car back up before he even
got out of his seat. "Here we go again," he said, ready for
what the streets were going to dish out to him next.
Ichino stamped her feet in hungry frustration. "Mouu!"
--------------
7:04 PM
Ichino slowly backed away from her partner, her eyes
wide and her head in a jumble.
"Now hold on there, Ichino. Let me explain--"
She pointed a finger at his, or rather HER chest.
"Ranma, didn't you tell me you were a guy? Now what the fuck
is going on here?" she asked warily.
Ranma sighed, her female form still much taller than
Ichino. "It's a long story, I'll tell you in the car."
Ichino shook her head and complied, he, no SHE, was a
cop after all. She wouldn't do anything to hurt her or
endanger her.
The two got back into their car, Ranma was wiping her
face off with some tissues that were inside. "It all started
back when I was a teenager, and my pop took me out on a
training trip..."
-------------
7:48 PM
"All units, there's a 211* in progress at Schroeder and
Campton, a 7-Eleven store."
"12-Adam-14, enroute!" Ranma crisply replied. He had a
big grin on his face. "Last call of the day! This is good, I
was in the mood for some hot dogs and a big Icee!"
Ichino had taken Ranma's story about Jusenkyo pretty
well, and she honestly believed him because he had told it
so sincere. But right now her mind was on something else.
"Fooooood..." she mumbled out, drooling. "I want some
Twinkies and nachos!"
"We'll be there in no time," Ranma said. He punched the
gas and floored his way across the streets.
* * *
January 27th, 1999.
77th Street Division Precinct, LAPD - Los Angeles,
California. 8:45 PM.
The young raven haired girl swung her hips to close the
door of her side of the vehicle, too tired to use her arms
instead.
"So, how was your first day?" Ranma asked, a smile on
his face. He'd been working 12 hours today, compared to six
with Ichino.
Ichino huffed and batted her eyes in a cutesy fashion.
"Why, I had SO much fun, Daddy! I got to deal with crooks,
low lifes, perverts, and all sorts of other cool weirdos in
the City of Angels!" She put her hands together to finish it
off. "Isn't it swell?"
Ranma put his hands up. "Hey, today was only a six hour
day for you, not even a full work day."
"Eh," she waved him off, smiling. "It wasn't bad. It
was pretty fun. Except next time I'm gonna remember to bring
some snacks to hide in the car."
"Fun? Ha, today was a normal day. Wait till you work
here for a while, then you'll see some interesting stuff."
Ichino frowned. "Today was a normal day? What happens
on a peculiar day?"
Ranma shrugged. "Shit happens."
"Oho?" She squirted her sport top water bottle at
Ranma's face, triggering his curse for the second time that
day. "You mean this sorta shit happens?"
"Yeah," Ranma said. She wiped off her face. Ranma
looked at Ichino for a moment, pondering something. "I still
don't get why I was specifically partnered to you though,
you seem like an ordinary rookie to me."
"Hey." She playfully swung her baton around at Ranma.
"I can certainly do worse."
"Whatever. I'm gonna head off now. I'll see you
tomorrow morning, for the AM shift, alright?"
"Sure," Ichino replied.
"Heh, see you later, It-CHAN!" Ranma said.
"Hey! I get to call you, Ranma-chan, then, and it'll
actually fit you sometimes too!" she replied right back.
Ranma shook his head as he entered the main building of
the station. It was going to be an interesting year. Yep, it
sure was.
[End of Report, File No. 01]
Disclaimer: This is fanfiction, I don't own Ranma, nor do I
own Ichino Yanagida. Don't sue me. I don't own the LAPD
either, but I will one day, and I'll stow upon my own
anarchy everywhere! Bwahahha...
Author's Ramble: Here's the first file of the series! I
hoped you enjoyed it, cause there's lots more to come. And
don't worry, not every file will be about police stuff.
It'll be about cars too! Lots and lotso cars! ^_^
Author's Notes: There are several police codes I used within
this chapter, and I'm gonna use many more in future chapters
as well, but for now I'll explain to you the ones I used in
this chapter only.
"12-Adam-14" is actually a real designation for LAPD
officers. However, it works like this. The first number, 12,
represents the station code. For example, the LAPD's
Hollywood Division (Division meaning station or precinct) is
number "6". 77th Street Division is number 12. The second
phrase, "Adam", is actually a phonetic code for the letter
"A". "Adam", or "A" units, consists of two man patrol teams
in marked police cruisers. These are your most common units,
and the ones you see most often. The last number is
basically just a tag for your specific unit. For instance,
Ranma and Itchan happened to be the fourteenth "Adam" unit
within Division 12 (77th Street). This coding system within
the LAPD applies to the entire department. A two man patrol
unit in Rampart Division would be coded, "2-Adam-#". A
detective unit in the Hollywood Division would be coded, "6-
William-#". Hopefully you get the pattern. I won't explain
EVERY single one of the codes, because I don't think the
reader would need to know them all. I'll explain the ones
that I portray in my fics only.
A "5150" is a California welfare code that states that
an individual is insane and is a danger to himself and to
others. Basically they're people who need to go to the Loony
Bin.
A "Code 7" is basically calling in for a meal break,
that gives us cops usually about 30-45 minutes to rest. In
real life, we NEVER get all that time. Sigh...
A "211" is another penal code, meaning an armed
robbery.
As for all the wacky things that Ranma and Itchan
responded to, they aren't wacky. In the short year I've been
a cop, I've seen a LOT of weird shit. Dicks stuck in shop
vacs included _
my Officer Saotome series. It's sort of a prequel, detailing
the daily life of Ranma during his days as a policeman. You
will have to read Officer Saotome as a prerequisite before
reading this, otherwise don't blame me if the story seems
totally out of line, or if it is uninteresting to you. I
doubt most people will be too interested in this spin-off,
since it was spawned from the suggestions of one fan.
Here are a few things you must know while reading this:
-For all of you readers, PLEASE read the notes at the end of
the fic before you start flaming me for things that you
don't understand or think is bogus, my notes just might
answer all your questions. If that doesn't do it, feel free
to pound away at my mailbox.
Ooop, as always, my fics are all R-rated in terms of movie
ratings, and this one is no exception. So don't complain!
Otherwise, enjoy! ^_^
-SgtRanma
Please visit my website at http://sgtranma.anifics.com! New
fics will always appear there first! And I update often!
****ONCE AGAIN, I'M WARNING YOU. IF YOU HAVE NOT READ MY
PREVIOUS FIC OFFICER SAOTOME UP TO CHAPTER 4 COMPLETELY, DO
NOT READ THIS. OTHERWISE IT WILL NOT MAKE SENSE! THIS IS A
PREQUEL! OFFICER SAOTOME CAN BE FOUND IN THE WEBSITE
MENTIONED ABOVE! However, if you really want to read it that
bad, just go ahead. It's just that a couple of huge details
(such as why the hell Ranma is in Los Angeles anyway and as
a cop, of all things) won't make sense to you.****
------------------------
The Daily Report
File No. 01b: It's a Hard Knock Life, For Us!
January 27th, 1999.
77th Street Division Precinct, LAPD - Los Angeles,
California. 2:03 PM.
"Get in," the young pigtailed police officer pointed to
the passenger side of the black and white Chevy Caprice
police cruiser. "Let's go for a ride."
The eager and anxious Ichino gladly obliged and boarded
the passenger side, awaiting her first day of real police
work. The inside of the car was the same as the vehicles she
was trained with in the Academy, although thankfully this
car had the newer generation of police radio controls and
siren/light functions, along with a central info pod which
was a modified laptop computer. She continued to fidget with
her police tools strapped on to her, trying to get into a
comfortable position.
She bumped her head slightly against something behind
her. Ichino turned around to see what the hell it was, a
shotgun electronically locked in the shotgun rack. Oh yeah,
she forgot about that.
Ranma climbed into the driver's seat and slammed the
door shut, his large PR-24 baton (the T handled nightstick)
held in his left hand. He slid the baton into a little slot
near the door to comfortable place it. Ichino saw this and
did the same, no wonder she could never sit comfortably -
although her instructors had never advised cadets to do
this.
Ranma grabbed the receiver for the radio to transmit.
"This is unit 12-Adam-14, heading out for patrol from base,
over."
A series of digital blips and bleeps followed. "Unit
12-Adam-14, acknowledged. Respond to domestic disturbance
dispute on 1st and Main, over."
"10-4, enroute." Ranma clicked the receiver back in
place. Here he was, with a new rookie partner, his car
wasn't even started yet and he already had a collar to
respond to. Quite a typical day in LA.
"We already have a call?" Ichino asked, thrilled. Her
eyes lit up like a little girl waiting to open her presents
on Christmas day. She barely held in her excitement with a
giggle.
"Yeah," he replied. "I'm surprised that it's such a
lame call though, I was expecting something bigger."
Ranma twisted the keys to the ignition, sparking a low
rumbling V8 burble. He shifted the column transmission into
Drive and floored his way out of the motor pool and
screeched out into the streets.
Ichino hastily pulled her seatbelt and latched it
securely, her heart pounding in anticipation of the day's
work. She'd never been to Downtown Los Angeles before, she'd
gone to college in Orange County, living in nice suburban
areas. This place was completely different, the streets were
filled with pedestrians walking to and fro, the lower levels
of the sidewalks were full of colorfully decorated
businesses, mostly run by Hispanics. The sky was contrasted
with the vast grey of corporate skyscrapers and the
trademark smog cap that smothered all of Los Angeles and the
greater area of LA County.
As Ranma drove through the heavy traffic, weaving in
and out of cars which were nervously being steered away by
drivers wary of the police cruiser, Ichino continued to scan
through around the neighborhood, finding new things
everywhere. On one sidewalk was a huge cargo van with a flip
open side, serving as a moving fast food restaurant for
hungry pedestrians. Mexican men and women set up little
stands on the sidewalk, selling jewelry and other goods to
people who passed by.
There were various street peddlers, suspicious looking
hoodlums, teenage mothers with six bawling kids, and she
could have sworn that she saw a guy on a street corner
claiming to sell fake IDs and Green Cards for the illegal
Mexican and Asian immigrants.
Of course when Ranma and Ichino's police unit drove by
the illegal ID hustler, he quickly ran and hid. Ichino
noticed this, but her partner just drove by and seemed to
have either ignored it or failed to notice.
"Hey, Ranma?" she asked, and then bit her lip. "It's
okay if I can call you, Ranma, right?"
"You're Japanese, aren't you? You can call me with
Japanese suffixes if it makes you comfortable," he replied.
She shrugged. "I guess I'll call you Ranma-kun or
Saotome-kun then," she said. "Did you see that guy selling
the fake ID's? Shouldn't we go back and bust him?" she
asked. She felt a sense of justice urging up.
Ranma glanced at Ichino with the corner of his eye,
smirking. "Yeah, I saw him. There are hundreds of guys like
him in the city. When we come back around this route we'll
have to sneak up on him, it's no use chasing him if he runs
away like he did. For now we have a call to respond to."
Ichino shrugged. "Okay."
--------------
2:18 PM
"I tell ya, I did nuthin'! Nuttin' I tell ya! That bag
of hot air is just running her gawdang mouth off!"
"Err, hang on there," Ichino ground out. Her fingers
scribbled hastily on her writing pad, jotting down as much
crucial info as she could in shorthand.
On the other end of dim lit living room of this middle
classed home, Ranma blocked off an eccentric, frizzled lady
sticking her arm out, pointing and shouting at her husband.
"He's a bum! A no good lying bastard! He doesn't do shit at
home, he don't do shit for work! And then he comes home
today, and slaps me up like some junkyard dog!" she yelled
accusingly. She pointed out some red marks on her face,
along with some scratches on her arms. "Y' see here? Those
are what he did!"
"Hey, girl! I didn't start this mess! You punched me
and scratched me up first!" He showed his own scars. "See
this?!"
The two officers could do nothing but hold them back
from each other and let them tell their arguments. However
one was just nodding his head to the words of a whining
citizen.
"Aw, gawdamn woman! Why'dja gotta bring up Paco? He got
nothin' to do with this!"
Ichino only sighed.
--------------
2:31 PM
"12-Adam-14, on our way."
A slightly miffed figure barely got herself to sit in
the passenger seat when she heard the Ranma's response to
the radio. "Aw, jeez. There's already another call?"
"Yeah, don't worry about it, this one's only two blocks
away," Ranma replied.
The Caprice quickly hustled over to a busier street and
into heavier traffic. Ranma drove the car over the curb,
riding along partially on the sidewalk to avoid the
unusually congested traffic. There was a lot of honking up
front though, and it appeared there was something weird
happening.
Both officers finally came up to an alleyway, where all
the honking seeming to be taking place. Ranma turned on the
bar lights on top of the cruiser and got out of his car to
investigate what the problem was.
Ichino stepped out too, but at her feet she found some
clothes strewn around. It was a pair of pants, a shirt, some
dirty underwear, and other assorted items. She looked over
to her partner, who had his sidearm out and raised in a
combat ready stance. He was slowly circling around to see
what was in the alley.
Ichino was genuinely confused. "What are you doing,
Ranma-kun? Why the hell do you have your piece out?" she
asked.
She saw the corner of his eye, quickly giving her a
glance, then looking forward again. "It was an unknown call,
we don't know what we're up against, Ichino. Didn't they
teach you that you should be prepared to face the worst
situation possible for call like that?" he scolded her.
Her eyes grew wide and she immediately drew her pistol
from her holster, her stance shifted to imitate Ranma. She
leaned against the wall adjacent to the alley, getting in
position to give her partner support. She heard a bunch of
random shuffling, and some shorts howls and other bizarre
noises.
With a nod to his partner, Ranma inched towards the
alley, cornering around. "This is the Los Angeles Police
Department," he yelled out.
Ichino turned around the edge to face the alley, and
almost dropped her gun as her face blushed bright red.
There in front of them, was a deranged man in his late
twenties, dancing naked next to a dumpster. He was flopping
up and down, lewdly showing off all of his parts.
"Holy shit, what the hell is he doing?" Ichino asked,
embarrassed. She still had her gun raised and pointed in the
general direction of the guy.
Ranma laughed out loud and holstered his weapon. "Oh
man, what a day," he chuckled. He looked over to Ichino.
"Don't worry, this guy's pretty much harmless for now." He
motioned for her to put her weapon away. "Just don't let him
get close, then we'll have to shoot him." He walked back to
the police cruiser to get something from the trunk.
Ichino complied and holstered her weapon. She clicked
the radio phone piece on her chest with her thumb.
"Dispatch, this is 12-Adam-14. We have a 5150* on Stanton
and 1st, requesting backup."
The radio which was on her Sam Brown gave a series of
digital chirps. "Acknowledged, sending units right away."
"Stand back, I'll take care of this guy," Ranma said
from behind, startling Ichino.
"Ack! What the hell are you doing?" She looked at the
device in his hands. "What are you doing with that tazer
gun?"
Ranma looked at her funny, as if the answer was
obvious. "I'm gonna zap him, of course. What else would I
do?"
She shrugged and stepped out of the way. "Go ahead, fry
him."
Two sharp needle hooks shot out from the bulky tazer
gun, latching onto the chest of the deranged man. On
immediate contact a 10,000 watt surge of electricity
immobilized him and sent him to the ground, convulsing in
pain. The onlookers and passengers in their cars clapped
their hands as they saw the annoying loony go down.
Ranma continued zapping the man for another ten
seconds, to make sure he would be completely harmless. There
was no telling what drugs this bastard could've used to keep
himself hopped up.
"Ouch." Ichino walked closer to the naked man on the
ground, who's eyes were wide open and teeth tightly
clenched. "I guess he better knock on wood, huh?"
--------------
3:09 PM
"Jeez, officers, I wasn't selling no fake ID's, I swear
on my mother's grave!" the street peddler argued.
"Yeah, yeah. Get your hands against the wall, you're
under arrest," Ranma said, pushing him roughly.
"Hey, fuck you pig, I want one of those guys who talk
smart for you and wear a suit!" he yelled, shoving back.
Ranma swept his feet quicker than the peddler could see
and tripped him painfully on the ground. "Get over here
Yanagida, frisk 'em."
"Yay!" She happily complied as Ranma stepped away from
the man to allow her to work. She purposefully dropped to
one knee on the back of his spine, causing him to yelp in
pain. She cuffed him and proceeded to search him from head
to toe. "I always liked doing this at the academy," she
said, looking up at Ranma.
Ranma smirked as Ichino read off the guy's Miranda
rights.
--------------
3:35 PM
"I'm sorry sir, but I saw you run that red light, and
judging from the speed of your car, you should've been able
to stop," Ichino explained.
The young Asian kid in his new red Honda Accord just
hated it when things like this happened to him. Of all the
rotten luck. "Hey girl, you may be cute and all, so I hope
you can gimme a break." He tapped his steering wheel. "See
this ride? It's bran' new, I don't want to wear out the damn
brakes, you understand me?"
A couple of the kids friends were laughing out loud in
the passenger seats, amused at the nerve of their driver.
Ranma was right outside, near the rear, covering Ichino's
back in case these clowns pulled anything.
Ichino however, was a little peeved at his comment.
"Oh, well that's too bad. I'm gonna write you a ticket
anyway." She pretended to write for a moment and then turned
her head up, pointing to the glass on the front passenger
window. "Oop. That's an illegally tinted window there, I
gotta cite you for that!"
The arrogant young kid shook his head in confusion.
"What?"
She wasn't done yet, this kid needed a lesson. "Oh, and
I see you have clear corner bulbs for the turning lights.
That's another citation! Oh, and you have something hanging
on your rearview mirror!"
"Wait a sec..." the kid nervously said. He was starting
to think that it was a serious mistake to taunt this
officer.
Ichino finished up writing the ticket and handed it to
the driver to sign. "There you go, just sign at the bottom,
and the court date is also written on the ticket."
"Damn..." the kid mumbled, reluctantly signing the
ticket, which was well written and very descriptive.
Ichino ripped off the top white sheet and kept the two
carbon copies. "Thank you for your cooperation!"
The car drove off cautiously, and the driver seemed to
look like he was crying. Ichino walked back to the police
cruiser, Ranma joining her.
"You're such a spoil sport," he playfully taunted her.
She replied with a smile and gave him a raspberry.
"Biddaahh!"
--------------
3:49 PM
"All units, officer needs assistance, please respond."
"Goddammit, another one?!" Ichino exclaimed.
"10-4, unit 12-Adam-24 responding," Ranma said to the
radio receiver. He looked over to his partner. "Hey, what an
exciting job, ne?"
Ichino replied with a groan.
--------------
4:22 PM
"So just because it's 4:20 in the afternoon all of you
had to light up in this little apartment? What were you
gonna do, suffocate yourselves?"
"We're sorry Miss Lady Officer, you wan' join us?" a
stoned guy offered.
"No!" Ichino yelled. "Get against the wall, you're all
under arrest!"
Ranma walked back into the living room from a bedroom,
with a look of disbelief on his face. "Damn, Ichino you
should check it out, it's the biggest damn bong I've ever
seen!" he laughed.
Ichino blink-blinked. "What?" she said, confused.
"Yeah! That's our masterpiece!" another guy laughed out
loud. "We call it Sir Smoke a Lot!"
Ichino face faulted.
--------------
4:58 PM
"Please, officers! Help me! The one eyed, one armed,
one legged man is trying to stab me!"
"???" Ichino looked dazed as she saw a crazed lady
running towards her and Ranma in their cruiser as they sat
in traffic.
"Don't worry, strange shit happens here all the time,"
Ranma reassured her.
"......"
--------------
5:10 PM
"How the heck did you get your dick stuck in a
vacuum?!" Ichino yelled angrily.
The two officers were at a gas station, where a number
of people were slowly crowding around, much to one man's
dismay. He apparently had his...thing, stuck in the shop vac
they offered at the side of the gas station, the kind used
to clean the inside of your car.
"I couldn't help it!" he yelled, embarrassed. "It's
only for four quarters! It looked so tempting!"
Ranma looked at him with his eyebrows raised. "You're
one sick bastard, you know that?"
"I haven't cranked in two days! That's why!"
Ichino slapped her forehead.
--------------
6:01 PM
"Unit 12-Adam-14, taking a Code-7," Ranma said to the
receiver.
"Acknowledged," the radio replied.
"Whew!" Ichino sighed happily. "Finally we can get some
dinner now!" She counted off all the calls the responded to
and the number of traffic tickets they gave out. "Wow, we
gave out 41 tickets, and responded to 13 calls so far. And
the day isn't even over. I can't wait to eat now."
Ranma drove the cruiser into a small lot and parked the
car. "I know a good teriyaki place here, and they serve cops
for half price too."
"Good! I'm starving!" Ichino happily said.
The radio bleeped at that moment. "All units, all
units, officers need immediate assistance, over."
Ranma immediately started car back up before he even
got out of his seat. "Here we go again," he said, ready for
what the streets were going to dish out to him next.
Ichino stamped her feet in hungry frustration. "Mouu!"
--------------
7:04 PM
Ichino slowly backed away from her partner, her eyes
wide and her head in a jumble.
"Now hold on there, Ichino. Let me explain--"
She pointed a finger at his, or rather HER chest.
"Ranma, didn't you tell me you were a guy? Now what the fuck
is going on here?" she asked warily.
Ranma sighed, her female form still much taller than
Ichino. "It's a long story, I'll tell you in the car."
Ichino shook her head and complied, he, no SHE, was a
cop after all. She wouldn't do anything to hurt her or
endanger her.
The two got back into their car, Ranma was wiping her
face off with some tissues that were inside. "It all started
back when I was a teenager, and my pop took me out on a
training trip..."
-------------
7:48 PM
"All units, there's a 211* in progress at Schroeder and
Campton, a 7-Eleven store."
"12-Adam-14, enroute!" Ranma crisply replied. He had a
big grin on his face. "Last call of the day! This is good, I
was in the mood for some hot dogs and a big Icee!"
Ichino had taken Ranma's story about Jusenkyo pretty
well, and she honestly believed him because he had told it
so sincere. But right now her mind was on something else.
"Fooooood..." she mumbled out, drooling. "I want some
Twinkies and nachos!"
"We'll be there in no time," Ranma said. He punched the
gas and floored his way across the streets.
* * *
January 27th, 1999.
77th Street Division Precinct, LAPD - Los Angeles,
California. 8:45 PM.
The young raven haired girl swung her hips to close the
door of her side of the vehicle, too tired to use her arms
instead.
"So, how was your first day?" Ranma asked, a smile on
his face. He'd been working 12 hours today, compared to six
with Ichino.
Ichino huffed and batted her eyes in a cutesy fashion.
"Why, I had SO much fun, Daddy! I got to deal with crooks,
low lifes, perverts, and all sorts of other cool weirdos in
the City of Angels!" She put her hands together to finish it
off. "Isn't it swell?"
Ranma put his hands up. "Hey, today was only a six hour
day for you, not even a full work day."
"Eh," she waved him off, smiling. "It wasn't bad. It
was pretty fun. Except next time I'm gonna remember to bring
some snacks to hide in the car."
"Fun? Ha, today was a normal day. Wait till you work
here for a while, then you'll see some interesting stuff."
Ichino frowned. "Today was a normal day? What happens
on a peculiar day?"
Ranma shrugged. "Shit happens."
"Oho?" She squirted her sport top water bottle at
Ranma's face, triggering his curse for the second time that
day. "You mean this sorta shit happens?"
"Yeah," Ranma said. She wiped off her face. Ranma
looked at Ichino for a moment, pondering something. "I still
don't get why I was specifically partnered to you though,
you seem like an ordinary rookie to me."
"Hey." She playfully swung her baton around at Ranma.
"I can certainly do worse."
"Whatever. I'm gonna head off now. I'll see you
tomorrow morning, for the AM shift, alright?"
"Sure," Ichino replied.
"Heh, see you later, It-CHAN!" Ranma said.
"Hey! I get to call you, Ranma-chan, then, and it'll
actually fit you sometimes too!" she replied right back.
Ranma shook his head as he entered the main building of
the station. It was going to be an interesting year. Yep, it
sure was.
[End of Report, File No. 01]
Disclaimer: This is fanfiction, I don't own Ranma, nor do I
own Ichino Yanagida. Don't sue me. I don't own the LAPD
either, but I will one day, and I'll stow upon my own
anarchy everywhere! Bwahahha...
Author's Ramble: Here's the first file of the series! I
hoped you enjoyed it, cause there's lots more to come. And
don't worry, not every file will be about police stuff.
It'll be about cars too! Lots and lotso cars! ^_^
Author's Notes: There are several police codes I used within
this chapter, and I'm gonna use many more in future chapters
as well, but for now I'll explain to you the ones I used in
this chapter only.
"12-Adam-14" is actually a real designation for LAPD
officers. However, it works like this. The first number, 12,
represents the station code. For example, the LAPD's
Hollywood Division (Division meaning station or precinct) is
number "6". 77th Street Division is number 12. The second
phrase, "Adam", is actually a phonetic code for the letter
"A". "Adam", or "A" units, consists of two man patrol teams
in marked police cruisers. These are your most common units,
and the ones you see most often. The last number is
basically just a tag for your specific unit. For instance,
Ranma and Itchan happened to be the fourteenth "Adam" unit
within Division 12 (77th Street). This coding system within
the LAPD applies to the entire department. A two man patrol
unit in Rampart Division would be coded, "2-Adam-#". A
detective unit in the Hollywood Division would be coded, "6-
William-#". Hopefully you get the pattern. I won't explain
EVERY single one of the codes, because I don't think the
reader would need to know them all. I'll explain the ones
that I portray in my fics only.
A "5150" is a California welfare code that states that
an individual is insane and is a danger to himself and to
others. Basically they're people who need to go to the Loony
Bin.
A "Code 7" is basically calling in for a meal break,
that gives us cops usually about 30-45 minutes to rest. In
real life, we NEVER get all that time. Sigh...
A "211" is another penal code, meaning an armed
robbery.
As for all the wacky things that Ranma and Itchan
responded to, they aren't wacky. In the short year I've been
a cop, I've seen a LOT of weird shit. Dicks stuck in shop
vacs included _