Lex was home less than three hours before Clark appeared. How he'd known Lex was home was a mystery, but somehow it came as no surprise. Lex had been expecting it, and he was waiting in the den while he went through his mail and messages, gearing up for the confrontation. Apparently Clark wasn't the only one wondering where the hell Lex had been for the past week either - there were several messages from Lionel.

None of them expressed concern.

He ran his hands over his face, rubbing at eyes swollen from long hours of wakefulness and over indulgences of alcohol and self pity; and actually considered getting up and fixing himself a drink. He pushed that idea aside. He had his days, but he refused to turn himself into an alcoholic. Besides, it would not only upset Clark but lately Lex had been uncharacteristically weepy under its influence and the last thing he wanted to do was have a repeat of the previous weeks meltdown. Not here and especially not in front of Clark.

A soft sound made him look up to see a shadow standing in the doorway and he watched silently as Clark shut the door.

Something about him looked different, perhaps because of the dark clothing he wore: a dark blue, nearly black sweater. He looked older. The set of his mouth and the expression in his eyes belonged to a man much older than sixteen and his movements were of someone much more confident than the Clark Lex knew. He came into the room and stood before Lex very much like a parent about to demand an explanation as to why their child was out past curfew. For some reason, that resemblance suddenly put Lex in a bad mood.

"What's going on?."

Lex didn't look at him, but continued leafing through his mail. "Good morning Lex, welcome home. Did you have a nice trip?" He paused, and did roll one eye up towards his visitor. "Aren't you cutting class?"

"Yes."

"I'm honored." Lex said quietly, and pretended to be highly interested in the letter he'd just opened. He could sense Clark seething.

"You blow me off for two weeks and now you're copping attitude. What did I do?"

"Why do you always assume its something you did Clark? That's a little self righteous don't you think?" Lex regarded him with a cool stare. "You always feel the need to take on other people's problems. Don't you have enough of your own?"

"I just try to help."

"Help yourself! Let other people deal with their own baggage."

"I can't do that." He said softly; as always, quiet strength against Lex's raging.

"Why?" When there was no immediate answer, Lex flung down the mail in his hands and stood up. "So is that how you define our relationship? You're "helping" me? I'm just one of your projects?"

"No..."

"Oh, so then you're using me? I need a pat on the head and a good fuck, I'll just call Lex. Is that it?"

Lex knew, or at least suspected, that backing Clark Kent into a corner was not necessarily a good idea. Clark had a very slow burning temper very unlike Lex. Lex's temper tended to simmer near boiling point at all times, occasionally erupting into violent outbursts, but usually carefully controlled. Clark's was deeply buried, like the the hot core of the planet itself; but also like the planet upon which they stood, if a crack in his shielding reached deep enough, he could erupt quite violently.

Sam Phalen had almost lost his life backing Clark into a corner. In the end, you could say he did anyway, just not at Clark's own hands.

Lex just needed to mean something to someone. The days long "one night stand" in Cancun and the coldness of his father's "where are you?" messages had made him feel worthless and stupid. He didn't know what he wanted or needed Clark to say. He certainly didn't expect him to blurt out "I love you" in any way shape or form because he knew Clark did not feel that way about him. He just needed to know he meant - something - to someone. Even if that something was an irritating asshole. So he pushed. He pushed Clark into a corner and got himself in trouble.

"Everything is black and white to you isn't it? All or nothing. Why does everything have to be defined and analyzed - laid out on a spreadsheet?"

"Don't turn this back around on me Clark..."

Clark took a step forward, and his eyes glinted dangerously. "Why not? You started it. Life isn't business Lex. Maybe our relationship started out as sort of a business proposition, but its gone way beyond that now and you can't keep looking for loopholes. There is no contract to follow. Nothing is cut and dried. You can't analyze the ups and downs like you would a stock market report. Stop acting like we're negotiating a merger. Stop acting like your father."

Everything seemed to grind to a halt, and sheer blind fury overwhelmed Lex's senses in a cold white blanket of ice. Nothing - nothing - infuriated him more than being compared to Lionel Luthor.

His tone of voice would have frozen the fires of Hell.

"Get out."

"I'm not finished." Clark replied, and his voice was clipped and just as cold.

"You are as far as I'm concerned." Lex turned and walked away from him, crossing the room to his desk; still mindlessly lost in a haze of anger. He was not his father.

Clark did not budge.

"What ever happened to not following life with a road map?"

"Damn you, get out!"

"You're always preaching at me Lex. What's the matter?" He threw Lex's own words back at him. "You can dish it out but you can't take it?"

"Get out of my house!"

Click.

Lex was rather surprised at the fact both his hand and his voice were steady, but he wondered if he pulled the trigger whether he would actually hit his target.

"I am not my father."

Neither of them moved, nor spoke. Clark regarded the gun without expression. His eyes, focused upon Lex's face, were calm. It seemed not to bother him in the slightest that Lex was not only asking him to leave, but forcing him to do so at gunpoint.

"I know you aren't Lex." he said finally. "So why are you acting like this?"

It was a question Lex was asking himself.

I'm scared.

I'm starting to care too much.

"Talk to me." Clark said softly. "Because I'm not leaving. You can threaten me with that," he inclined his head towards the gun. "All you want."

They stared stubbornly at each other for several heartbeats before Lex slowly lowered his hand, and gently eased the hammer of the gun back down into place. Now he shook, and leaned upon the desk as if without its support he would fall. All the fears and worries regarding their relationship flooded into him as the dam burst.

"This is only going to end badly Clark." he said softly. "The further we go the worse its going to be, and its completely out of my control. As much as I hate him - as much as I have fought so long not to be like him, I am my father's son. I don't want to follow a road map. I don't want to walk along a predestined path. I want to make my own path - because life IS like business Clark, and I want to be the one in charge of it." He drew a long trembling breath, and looked up into the grey eyes watching his every move. "I'm not in control of anything right now, especially what's going to happen to us and I can't handle it."

Clark said nothing, but the set to his mouth was still tight, and his eyes were unreadable. Lex watched him as he crossed the room that separated them until he came around the side of the desk and they stood face to face. Only then did he speak and his voice was ominously low.

"Is that it?"

Lex did not respond.

Clark moved quickly, before Lex could react, and grabbed the hand still holding the gun. His other hand caught Lex's right arm, and held him in a grip similar to being bound in iron shackles; Lex could not break loose. He tried nothing at first, but as Clark's thumb pulled back the hammer on the pistol, his body went rigid. He tried then to let go of the gun, but Clark's hand was bigger than his, and held his fingers tightly around the weapon as it rose toward their faces. The gun was first between them, and then it was pressed tightly beneath Clark's chin with Lex's finger on the trigger.

"You want control?" he said quietly. "Pull the trigger. Then turn it on yourself. You decide the ending."

Lex could feel his pulse beating wildly in his temples, and through the contact he had - as it vibrated through the gun and into his hand - he could feel the slow and steady rhythm of Clark's heart as well. Clark was right, the ending was in his hands. He had spent the last week asking himself if he loved Clark enough to let him go and had come to the realization even that scenario would not save them both from destruction. This option - the one Clark gave him now, was the only way Lex could see of breaking the vicious circle in which they'd found themselves trapped.

"No pain."

"No pain." Clark whispered.

"No heartache."

"Take your own path."

"Clark...."

I love you.

Lex pulled the trigger.....

And staggered backwards gasping as Clark went down to his knees and the gun fell to the floor from fingers gone numb. Lex grasped his stomach with one hand and braced himself on the back of the chair with the other. His body shook, and his eyes and mouth were wide.

What had he done! Oh God!

"Clark...."

"I didn't think you'd do it."

"Son of a bitch!" Lex raged, gasping."Fuck! You knew it was empty!"

Clark settled down on his haunches and stared at him incredulously. "You pulled the trigger."

Lex's voice cracked. "Jesus Clark...."

The only sound that followed was the sound of their breathing.

It was Clark who recovered first, and his voice was barely above a breath as he looked into Lex's eyes and read their unspoken words.

"You love me that much?"

Leaving the question unanswered; Lex closed his eyes and swallowed heavily. "When did you unload the gun?"

"A long time ago. I was afraid you would use it on yourself."

Ah, God. He'd thought about it on several occasions.

He lowered his voice upon the next question.

"Would you have done the same thing Clark, if it had been loaded?"

There was a long pause.

"Yes."

Lex opened his eyes to find Clark still looking at him. He searched the grey eyes for any sign of deception and found none.

"Why?"

"You're free to chose your path Lex." Clark whispered. "Mine is set before me and I have no choice but to travel it. Just now - you had the chance to take your destiny in your hands and make it into what you wanted it to be. I had the chance to escape mine."

"We all have choices."

"I don't."

If I love him enough to kill him, Lex thought, I have to love him enough to accept that answer without questions.

Clarks voice continued to be soft. "I'm not going to leave you Lex. I can't."

Their eyes were still locked.

"You are part of my path."

Lex went to him, standing over him as a king would upon knighting a vassal. Clark still sat upon his knees on the floor, and he raised his head as Lex bent over him. Lex whispered the words into his mouth, and the intermingling of their breath was as an oath - a bond - between them.

"Yes." he said, his kiss feather light. "I love you that much."

************************

"I don't want anything to hurt you." Lex whispered. "Least of all, anything to do with me. I don't want to be the cause of your pain Clark."

"I'm a big boy Lex. If I get hurt, its my own responsibility."

"I just don't see how this could end positively."

They lay, spoon fashioned, in Lex's big bed following a rather desperate round of lovemaking. Clark was curled around him like a cloak and their hands and legs were intertwined as they both sought comfort in the closeness of their bodies. It was later in the afternoon. Clark would have to be leaving soon to face the music from his parents. It was inevitable they would find out he'd played hooky from school.

"What are you going to tell your parents when they discover you weren't in school today?" Lex had asked earlier.

And Clark, who had been rather distracted by what Lex was doing to him at the time, answered: "That I spent the day with you."

"Great, that will go over well."

"Especially when I tell them - ah - what we were doing." Clark had pulled him down for a kiss. "Sex Ed one oh one." he murmured breathlessly. "And I don't think I quite understood that last move. You'll have to show me again."

"You are a smart ass." Lex replied, but he'd happily repeated the lesson as requested.

Clark sighed, and pressed his cheek close upon Lex's shoulder. His breath was warm against the skin there and Lex shuddered as it tickled his flesh into rising with goose pimples. The result was that Clark thought him cold, and hugged him tighter. No complaints there.

"Why do you keep on about "the end" when its only beginning?"

"Are you really that naive Clark? I always thought it was an act. My father knows. I know he didn't believe all my bullshit about that little incident. He knows about Ryan too, thanks to Victoria's big mouth, and he won't hesitate to add two and two together. Now this thing with Chloe...."

Clark's body stiffened. "What?" He let go, and sat up on one elbow. "What thing with Chloe?"

Lex glanced back over his shoulder. "Its nothing really. She doesn't know anything...."

"Then what's going on?"

"She just suspects me of having feelings for you outside of the realm of friendship." He sighed as Clark's expression of worry didn't change. "Relax. So what if she thinks I'm after your tail, as far as she knows that's all it is. She warned me off, I denied everything, its done."

"She's very perceptive."

Lex rolled over. He was getting a cramp in his neck trying to look backwards. "Clark, this is what I keep trying to tell you. Eventually someone is going to figure out what we're doing, and the results aren't going to be pretty."

The look on Clark's face made it clear he finally understood exactly what had been plaguing Lex for the last several weeks. Reality had finally intruded on whatever little fantasy he'd dreamed up to rationalize his clandestine activities and it frightened him. It had been the idea of Chloe suspecting something that had finally woken him up. Lex could see that in his minds eye, Clark was visualizing the reactions of his friends, his family, and the outside world in general should they ever discover he'd been having a homosexual affair with Lex. He'd been okay with one night, but as he had told Lex earlier - things had gotten much more complicated.

Lex sighed. He reached out and gave Clark's arm a tug, met resistance, and tried again. "Come here."

Clark obeyed after a moment, allowing himself to be pulled in close. "I'm so stupid." he murmured.

"I guess if you want to call being lonely and terribly needy, stupid, then I'm just as bad."

"I've let you deal with this by yourself. That's not fair. I'm sorry." He buried his head against Lex's chest and Lex felt the dampness of tears.

"Ah well," Lex replied, resting his chin on the top of Clark's head. "I am the adult here."

The word was muffled by Lex's body:

"Bullshit."

And Lex had to laugh.

"I've made such a mess of everything...."

"Shut up Clark. I had the option of telling you to take a flying leap and I didn't." His hands were gentle as he caressed the broad shoulders. "Its just as much my fault as yours."

Clark looked up; his long dark lashes glistened. "Maybe I shouldn't have unloaded the gun."

Lex looked into his eyes, and sighed. "Clark, you just keep pulling me out of the shadows when I have my little panic attacks. You chase away my demons and keep me from engaging in idiotic behavior just as you've been doing and I promise you I'll handle the rest."

"But if someone...."

"They won't." Lex whispered.

"But if they do?"

"I'll handle it."

"How?"

"I told you once Clark, and I guess I need to keep reminding myself - I'm not going to let anything come between us. If we get into trouble with this - I'll take care of it..."

Lex paused, seeing in his minds eye the burning wreckage of a yellow mustang...

And the cold barrel of a gun.

"In any way I have to."

Because I love you that much.

Contract signed.

The price?

One soul.

Business is business.