*******************************************
Author's note: So far I've tried to keep this running very closely to the show, sort of skirting the edges and between the lines. I decided if I continued to do that we'd get repetitive and boring. Thus I have finally figured out where we're going and from here on things are going to go askew from the show's storylines and we'll actually step in to a definitive alternate reality.
*******************************************
Clark's hands always amazed him, and considering the fact so many things about Clark were amazing and mysterious, he often wondered why that surprised him.
They were long fingered and sensitive, supple and strong, and extraordinarily soft. That was what surprised him - that someone who obviously engaged in hard manual labor on a farm every day could have such soft hands. There were no calluses, no scars, and no ragged nails or cuticles. It was and odd analogy but as Clark ran his hands over his body, Lex was put in mind the vision of a soft chamois cloth running over the hood of a Rolls Royce. When Lex was a child Lionel had owned a Rolls, and the chauffeur carried a chamois cloth in his back pocket to wipe off any fingerprints from the shining black car. Lex had asked to touch the cloth once, as it appeared to be so soft, and the texture of Clark's hands reminded him of that softness.
Lex stretched, relaxing under the caresses like a cat gone limp under petting. If he'd been a cat he would have been purring as Clark's hands wandered over his face, his chest and his hips to finally brush over the inside of one thigh. A shiver ran up his spine.
"You're getting too good at this." he breathed, his mouth close to Clark's ear.
"I had a good teacher." was the answer, and any further commentary from Lex was ceased by the application of lips over his mouth.
He broke away from the kisses a moment later when Clark made careful use of his fingers in a very sensitive location. "Oh God, I didn't teach you that!"
"Nope. Figured that one out on my own."
He repeated the action, and Lex moaned.
"Fuck."
"Eventually." Clark said quietly. "You taught me how to tease too."
Lex arced his body up into the one holding him down. "Stop fooling around...ah...shit."
"Patience, patience."
With a growl, his green eyes blazing with a combination of excitement and irritation, Lex made use of one of his own hands.
"Ow!"
"Clark, since when have you known me to be a patient man? Get busy, or get off."
"Wouldn't getting off and getting busy be the same thing under the circumstances?"
Lex stifled a laugh. "You know - you're pretty tough Clark, but not - right - here...."
"Ow, damnit! All right, all right, just let go." He laughed, re-initiated the kissing, and did as he was told.
A few minutes later they were both breathing rather heavily and Lex had to chuckle.
"Brat."
**********************
Clark was asleep. Lex could tell by the rhythm of his breathing as they lay together in the early morning sunlight coming through the windows. The sunlight was warming the room, and only a corner of the sheet was draped across them as Clark lay sprawled on his back with Lex pressed to his side. He'd often lain with his head on Ryan's shoulder in a similar manner; watching him sleep and simply enjoying the fact they were together. Aside from the coloring, Clark was very like him. Lex watched him sleep and admired the way his long lashes brushed his cheeks, and how his hair curled around his face. He ran his hand over the lean ribs and felt the comforting beat of Clark's heart beneath them; and he thought of Ryan. Where would he be right now if Ryan had lived?
He couldn't even imagine, at this point, being anywhere else with anyone else.
He sighed, moved closer, and closed his eyes...
Only to open them a moment later when a uncomfortable sensation crept over him. He had, suddenly, the distinct impression of someone watching him. No one should have been in the house, however, except the two of them. When Clark had called saying he'd contrived to get out of the house overnight, Lex had given the household staff leave to go home early and come in late the following day - today. He also knew, positively, that Lionel was in Europe.
He rolled his eyes towards the open door, and saw, much to his horror, a woman standing there.
She was back lit from the sun coming through the windows out in the hall so he could only see her outline and could not make out her features. Her hair was too long for it to be Chloe Sullivan, who he would not put past snooping around uninvited; and she was too short in stature to be Victoria who would probably find no problem with making herself right at home.
Lana?
Lex frowned and opened his mouth to just ask, but his words evaporated when he realized the time and the day of the week. It was saturday and roughly ten o'clock in the morning.
And he'd forgotten to cancel the produce order.
Upon finding no one answering her call when there should have been, she'd apparently felt concerned enough to investigate. Her investigations had led her upstairs, and into the door they'd so stupidly left standing open.
There was something more ominous about her quiet, seething fury than in all of Lionel's bellowing.
"You slimy son of a bitch."
Lex sat up.
He wasn't quite sure how to react to her. He had several options, and they all went through his mind in a heartbeat before he settled upon reacting like the adult he was supposed to be. Before she could say anything more he rose from the bed, grabbed a robe from the back of a chair, and was at her side with his hand on her elbow. He ignored the fact that she jerked it away angrily.
"Don't wake him up." he whispered.
"Don't you tell me....."
"Just shut up and talk to me - all right - before you go off on him."
Their eyes met, and Martha did not speak.
"All right?" he repeated.
Reluctantly, she nodded, and they went into the hallway. As he shut the door Lex glanced back inside where Clark had rolled over but still slept. He had no idea what he was going to say to her or how the situation was going to work itself out, but he would do his damnest to keep Clark from getting hurt. He thanked God for two things: that it had been Martha and not Jonathan who had made the discovery and that she'd not tried to kill him.
Of course there was still time for her to do so.
Martha held her tongue until they were behind the closed doors of the second floor library.
"What have you done?" she demanded, still holding herself in check - barely. "What have you done to my son?"
Lex sighed. "I haven't done anything to him."
Her laugh dripped with sarcasm.
It was cold in the shadowy library and Lex pulled the robe closer around him as he sat down in a chair. He looked up at her impassively as he spoke.
"If you're thinking I seduced him Martha, you're wrong. He came to me."
She had been pacing, but at his words she stopped and looked at him but immediately shook her head in denial.
"Clark isn't..."
"Gay?" Lex said quietly, as she hesitated. "No. He's not. He is lonely, confused, and frightened though, and I think we both know why."
Ah, let her chew on that tidbit for a little while.
"What has he told you?"
Lex hesitated, then told her the truth - or at least parts of it.
"Nothing specific. Most of what I know I've deduced on my own. He's different, he knows it, and I'm the only one he trusted. Are you aware he's been spying on Lana through the telescope in the loft?" He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and watched her reaction.
She was, of course, shocked.
"No!"
"Are you aware of what happened to him in October, on homecoming night?"
Her eyes narrowing, she stared at him. "He went to the dance, and stopped that scarecrow kid from killing everyone. He told me."
"You're his mother Martha, he's only going to tell you what you want to hear." Lex said softly. "So you know about the scarecrow tradition?"
"Jonathan told me. He tried to get it stopped when he was on the team. What are you trying to tell me?" she demanded. "I know how you work Lex, stop playing with me and get to the point."
He gave her a long, cool look before he did as she asked.
"Clark was the scarecrow this year. I found him trussed up like a turkey in the middle of a field. Something was making him ill." He was not going to reveal his knowledge regarding Lana's necklace to her, not yet. "He didn't mention it did he?"
"No." she said quietly.
"Nor obviously the fact they molested him before they strung him up."
He saw her flinch, and the horrified expression on her face told him what he'd known: she hadn't a clue. Lex pressed his advantage, and he felt the control of the situation tip into his favor.
"They raped him Martha." he said bluntly. "So imagine what he's been going through. He's raging with hormones, frightened because he knows he's different, and his only sexual experience was the result of a brutal attack. Who is he going to talk to about it? His mother - how embarrassing? Or his father, who we both know would fly off the deep end? No. He came to a friend. He came to me."
She sagged into another chair, and to her credit and Lex's surprise, she did not break down into tears. "Clark...." The pain in her voice was cutting.
He paused a moment, and quietly added: "He is different Martha, which is why this has gone the way it has. He wants Lana, that's true, but if he ever had her - he'd put her in the hospital."
Which was not completely true, but she did not have to know all the details.
"We've kept it very discrete. No one knows. So before you decide to make a big issue of it, you think about the consequences to Clark."
She looked up sharply, and he saw then the tears glinting in her eyes. "Are you threatening me?"
Funny, I said the same thing to Chloe just last week.
"No Martha. I'm not. I'm telling you because I care about Clark. If you, for instance, went home and told your husband what I've just told you, he's going to make it an issue. Someone is going to find out, and in a town this size, it won't be long before everyone knows." Lex's expression was wry. "They're already looking for anything they can to bring me down and would jump on something like this in a heartbeat. But think about it. What another scandal mean to me?" It was a hypothetical question, and when she naturally did not answer, he continued. "The press can be bought Martha. All I'll have to do is move out of town again and nobody will ever know outside of Smallville. Clark doesn't have that option. You and Jonathan don't have that option. The three of you will be ruined."
"I want this stopped." she raged. "If you care so much about him you'll call this - affair - off! Right now - today."
His eyes turned cold.
"No."
Her eyes narrowed.
"He's sixteen Lex. I could have you arrested for statutory rape."
"First of all, if I'm not mistaken, the age of consent in Kansas is sixteen. Secondly - money can buy more than just the silence of the press. The whole judicial system is terribly flawed by the inability of its key players not to accept a generous bribe."
He did not tell her age of consent would only apply if the affair was heterosexual; and that there were plenty of lawmakers who would be more than willing to lock Lex Luthor up in jail and throw away the key. If Martha called the police, Lex would be behind bars faster than he could pack a bag. The vision of calling his father and informing Lionel he was in jail on a sodomy charge was not particularly appealing.
"There again Martha," Lex said, still speaking softly. "If you did call the police, and they did investigate, you don't think they would keep things quiet do you? The whole town knew about Jonathan's arrest a few months ago in less than ten minutes."
Check.
"Do you really want people to look at Clark and call him 'faggot' on top of all the other shit he has to deal with?"
Just what else that was, Lex had no clue, but Martha knew and his words struck a nerve.
She stared at him - trembling. Her face was pale and strained, making her seem much older than forty-something. He could see her mind frantically trying to find a way out like a rat in a maze, and knew she'd find nothing because he never could. No matter what she did Clark was going to suffer for it. Lex did own him, regardless of Clark's naive belief that no one did, and now Martha knew it too.
She buried her face in her hands, and wept.
Check mate.
***********************
Lex didn't mention his encounter with Martha to Clark.
Clark wasn't happy when he found out.
"Why didn't you tell me?" He demanded, some twenty four-plus hours later when he burst into Lex's den with a murderous expression. "What did you do to my mother?"
Lex didn't look up from his computer. "So she told you. I was wondering if she would."
"Lex..."
He raised his head. "Clark I didn't do anything to her. She walked in, saw what was going on, and I told her the truth. I didn't tell you what happened because I wanted to give her the chance to tell you herself."
"She says you're blackmailing her."
"Blackmail?" Lex laughed. "That's harsh." He sobered at the look on Clark's face. "I only told her what would happen if she made a big fuss. She's upset Clark. I didn't want her to do anything we'd all regret later. That's all. I'm not blackmailing your mother. I told her the truth. Its not an easy truth to accept."
"She carries around enough secrets. She doesn't need this." Clark started pacing, something unusual for him, and he ran his hands through his hair. "She doesn't need this." he repeated.
"She's asked you to break it off?"
"Of course she did. She's begging me Lex."
Lex hesitated. "What did you say?"
Clark stopped pacing, but wouldn't look up, and Lex knew him well enough to know he was hurting. His voice was a whisper, and very rough.
"I told her I wasn't ready to give you up yet."
I love you for that Clark. I really do.
"She didn't take that well I'm presuming."
Here come the water works.
"She's not speaking to me." Turning his eyes towards Lex, Clark looked as if his whole world had suddenly come crashing down around him.
In a sense it had. He'd suddenly crossed the line into adulthood. He was no longer unwise to the mysteries of sex and sexual relationships; which was all well and good when no one knew about it. With his mother made aware, innocence was lost. He was grown up, and there was no running back to her for comfort. So he ran straight from his mother's embrace....
And right into Lex's.
Lex silently congratulated himself as he got up.
"If you were a girl," he said quietly, as he stood in front of Clark with his hands in his pockets and a faint smile playing across his lips. "and I were a halfway decent man - I'd present you with a handkerchief and tell you not to worry about your mascara running because you were still the most beautiful sight I'd ever seen."
Clark laughed a little, and wiped his nose on his sleeve. His grey eyes were still pained, and he was still crying, but he favored Lex with a wry smile. "You're an idiot."
"She'll get over it Clark." Lex said quietly. "What's hardest for her isn't the fact that its me you're fooling around with, but that you're fooling around at all. Her baby is all grown up. How do you think that makes her feel?"
He didn't answer right away. "We've always been so close...do you really think she'll come around?"
"She loves you doesn't she? Of course she will." Lex took his hands out of his pockets and slipped them around Clark's waist. "She's not going to abandon you just because she disagrees with you. She's not that kind of person." He cocked his head. "Of course I think if I set foot on the farm anytime soon she'll fill my backside with buckshot."
Clark sniffed - raised a hand to wipe his eyes.
"Tell me, what's going on with your father during all this?"
"He thinks she's started menopause and that's why she's so moody."
Lex shook his head. "A convenient excuse. You don't think she'll say anything to him do you?"
"Are you kidding? She just got him out of jail on manslaughter charges. I'm sure she's not anxious for him to go back." Sighing, Clark leaned his forehead against Lex's. "Besides, I asked her not to and she agreed. She knows the consequences. I just hate that she has to go through this alone."
There was a long silence, and they simply stood together, looking into each other's eyes.
"I'm scared of this." Clark whispered finally. "I don't know when it got so complicated. Its like I've gotten myself addicted to some drug and I need more and more to get myself through until the next fix. I can't stop."
"Yeah, that's what it feels like."
"What?"
"Being in love."
Clark looked at him carefully. "Is that what it is?"
"I'd like to think so." Lex whispered. "Its hard to admit isn't it? You have to give up part of yourself."
"Was that hard for you?"
Lex hesitated but he couldn't lie to those eyes. Not this close. "Yes."
Drawing a long breath, Clark said: "Do you remember when I first came to you? I told you I was used to making sacrifices."
"Yes." Lex gradually moved his head, angling in slowly.
"I don't know," Clark closed his eyes. "If I can make this one."
Lex kissed him, very slowly, letting his tongue explore Clark's lips and mouth - tickling and teasing inside and out. When he withdrew he applied just the slightest bit of suction to Clark's lower lip, and quietly ended the kiss.
"I think you already have."
"I can't."
Clark's voice was desperate, but still not above a whisper, and as Lex pulled him closer he could feel his muscles tighten. He was terrified.
Of what?
"You don't understand...."
Lex let him go and backed off. He knew he was about to lose his temper and he turned his back in a concentrated effort to keep things under wraps.
"Clark, I am so tired of that."
"I know. Lex its not you. I promise, its not you. I just - unconditional love isn't something I can do. I can't give one hundred percent. I have responsibilities....."
His temper snapped, and Lex did turn around. "Responsibilities? Clark you're a sixteen year old farm brat. What fucking responsibilities? Try walking in my shoes for a day. You help take care of a multi-national corporation. You walk down the street and have people stare at you because you're fucking bald at the age of twenty four. You live under Lionel Luthor's thumb, and you wake up every morning knowing not one single person on the whole damn planet gives a shit if you live or die. Take on those responsibilities Clark."
Clark's grey eyes were unwavering, and his voice was as cool as ever. Unperturbed, he met Lex's tirade and embraced it with a quiet rant of his own. "You know where you come from Lex." he said softly. " At least you know that when you wake up in the morning you'll be the same person you were the night before. I don't always have that luxury."
"Clark..."
"I'm not human."
"We're all human Clark. If you weren't you wouldn't be having these doubts..."
"I'm not being figurative Lex."
Lex's brows dipped together. There was nothing in Clark's eyes to explain what he was thinking, nor what he meant other than the obvious interpretation of his words.
What the fuck?
"With that comes - gifts. With those gifts come responsibilities and a future already laid out in front of me. Lex I told you - you are part of my path. I meant that and I believe it. I'm frightened of the day I have to leave you when the path carries me past. I can't afford to leave anything behind, especially not my heart and soul. I swore I would always be there for you and I meant that too, but it may not be like what we have now. You promised to protect me from getting hurt but Lex...I can't make the same promise. I can't be in love with you."
Lex could not break away from his stare.
"I am not - human." The tears began anew and the momentum of his words increased. "I can't love anyone. Even when I'm with you, I'm alone. I'll always be alone. That's what has made the whole thing with Lana so hard for me Lex. I see her with Whitney and I know one day they're going to get married and have a family - I want that life. That's what I want more than anything in the world and I can't have it no matter what I do. And this - our relationship - I'm always going to want more. No matter how much you love me, or whatever you do - you can't give me the life I want either - and I'm not going to drag you down with me. So don't ask me to love you because - I - can't."
Of all the myriad thoughts which could have come to the forefront in Lex's mind, the one that did took him by surprise. It was very typical of his own methods of dealing with overwhelming emotion and under another circumstance would have had him laughing. Instead he found it horribly sad both from understanding it was a major flaw of his own, and that it was undoubtably true.
Clark really needed to get completely drunk and forget about everything for a few days.
The second thought grabbed him around the heart and gave him a rather vicious shake.
Clark's long tirade was nothing BUT a confession of love, or at the very least a deep rooted caring.
He told me his darkest secrets. He vowed he'd always be there for me. He loves me enough not to love me.
He's made me love him even more. God - this is killing me.
"Sit down Clark before you fall down."
"I..."
"Just sit the fuck down."
Clark obeyed, and Lex debated momentarily whether or not he would pour himself a drink before he sat down himself. In the end he decided to the negative, and quietly sat down beside Clark on the sofa. He sat sideways, resting his elbow along the back, and watched Clark wipe his tears away with shaking fingers. It brought to mind, once again, how soft Clark's hands were.
And how strong.
"I did hit you didn't I?"
A nod.
Lex sighed.
"I'm not asking you to love me Clark, but I think you do."
"I'm so confused....."
"I know you are."
"I love Lana, or at least I thought I did." He looked up at Lex and his brows came together. "But it would never work out."
"And she'd get hurt, and you don't want to do that to her."
"Yeah."
"That's love. Don't fool yourself into thinking it isn't. All the sacrifices you make for other people just illustrates how big your heart is Clark. That makes you human. You're certainly more human than I am. I couldn't do it."
Maybe not for anyone else, but I'm doing it for you.
"You've told me your secrets Clark. That's pretty unconditional."
"I don't want to hurt you."
Translation: I love you.
"I know." Lex accepted his head upon his chest, and held him.
"But I want to be with you, and I want to confide in you...."
"Just start at the beginning," Lex whispered. "and tell me."
*************************
If I had learned Clark's secrets a few months ago, he'd be bottled up in a lab somewhere right now....
Lex parked the Ferarri and got out, momentarily grumbling at having had to park further down the street than he wanted, and hunting for change to put in the meter.
Instead of curled up asleep in my bed.
They'd sat on the couch all afternoon and Lex had quietly listened to Clark tell him everything, starting with the meteor shower onward. The confusion, the fear and the guilt Clark felt all started to make perfect sense - as did the weird things that seemed to circulate around him. Lex surprised himself by not being surprised; nor particularly alarmed. He'd guessed quite a bit already and since he was extremely familiar with Clark physically, the "alien" part was not frightening to him.
It explained the on/off libido switch.
Once or twice Lex caught himself thinking "profit" and "experiment" and immediately shoved those thoughts out of his head by realizing they were much in the vein of how Lionel would react. What would be the point? He'd fought too hard to keep Clark, why would he throw that away now? If, however, things ever degenerated to the point where Lex might benefit from making Clark a science experiment.....
Lex prayed they wouldn't, because he doubted his ability to resist the temptation.
He hadn't resisted the temptation of taking advantage of Clark there on the couch when the talking was over and his mind was bursting with the knowledge that he - Lex Luthor - was in complete possession of the worlds only living extra terrestrial. It was a monumental turn on.
When the tables turned upon them finally making it upstairs, and said extra terrestrial took advantage of him, Lex was a little bit hesitant at first due to his new knowledge. Clark seemed to sense it immediately. He proceeded quite carefully, and under his delicate touch, Lex's apprehensions very quickly vanished. It ended up being some of the most passionate moments they'd yet to experience together and as Lex came back down from the climactic high, he wondered at it. Did "love" really bring so much to the sex act? The answer had to be yes, because something had very definitely changed between them.
Thinking of Ryan, he wondered if he really had loved him at all.
Clark had watched him dress for a meeting with Lana at the Talon. He himself hadn't bothered to get up and Lex left him alone.
"Picking buckshot out of your ass, " Clark stated quietly as Lex bent over to pull on a sock, "could be very interesting."
Lex had straightened and given him a mock glare. "Bite your tongue."
And Clark, rather languidly, had stretched himself across the bed in a very seductive manner. "Why don't you bite it for me?"
"I'd rather. Lana's droning gets on my last nerve Clark. I don't know why you find her so attractive. She's horribly insipid and hasn't a scrap of originality."
"In other words, she's dull and stupid?"
"Exactly."
Clark propped himself up on one elbow and had regarded Lex solemnly. "She's not really like that you know. She's got her secrets too, one of which is that she's much more intelligent than she seems. And she's extremely pretty." His eyes had glinted with mischief. "Are you jealous?"
"No." Lex replied quietly, and leaned over to kiss him. "Who's bed is this?"
"Yours."
"Then why should I be jealous?" he'd asked, and he had, indeed, bitten Clark's tongue. "I have to go."
As he finished feeding the parking meter he glanced at his watch. He was early. Lex liked being early. It gave him an advantage and made people who were late even later - fueling his temper for a tirade on punctuality. He whistled a little as he strolled down the sidewalk, wondering if he would make it back in time to catch Clark before he went home. A third round would be very appealing.
As if sensing his thoughts, Martha Kent suddenly appeared in front of him.
She had come out of the flower shop, which lay between Lex and his destination - the theater next door. That in itself was unusual because not only was the relationship between Nell and Martha rather chilly but over the years Martha had started growing her own flowers. Lex knew this - he bought from her. Even more unusual was the fact she was voicing thanks to Nell, who stood in the doorway, and both women were smiling. Lex frowned as Nell vanished back into the shop and Martha turned around to face him.
She was still smiling.
Alarm bells started clanging wildly in Lex's head.
Fuck.
"Martha." he said quietly.
"Lex." she frowned, but only slightly. "Have you seen Clark?"
She was baiting him. He knew she was baiting him, but he could not resist.
"I just finished screwing him as a matter of fact. He's probably still asleep in my bed."
Put that in your corncob pipe and smoke it, he thought maliciously. He was rewarded as she flinched visibly.
It did not, however, phase her for long.
"If he's still there when you get back, wake him up and send him home for dinner will you please?" Her green eyes were narrowed, but her expression neutral as she started to brush by him.
He should not have been surprised when she stopped right at his shoulder, and turned her head to look at him.
"Oh, by the way, I just had a very nice talk with your father. What a positively charming man." She paused to savor the expression of horror Lex knew had to be upon his face. "Give him my regards when he arrives tomorrow."
He felt as if he'd suddenly been plunged into a vat of ice water. He turned his head to look at her, and their eyes, the same color of green, locked.
"You can't play games with me Lex Luthor," she hissed, "I've been dealing with secrets and hidden agendas a hell of a lot longer than you have. Its time for you to get your sleezy hands off my son and stop meddling with his heart. You are a lying, filthy dog who doesn't care about anyone but himself.You don't give a damn about Clark getting hurt; you just get off on having someone to manipulate. Well that's over buddy. This is going to blow wide open and I promise you it is not going to be Clark who gets hurt. You will not be left standing Lex, and I for one will enjoy seeing you go down."
With that, she turned away from him, and continued down the sidewalk.
Lex stood there, motionless, with a face gone pale and slack of expression.
She had called his father.
She had called the hounds of hell down on him.
Author's note: So far I've tried to keep this running very closely to the show, sort of skirting the edges and between the lines. I decided if I continued to do that we'd get repetitive and boring. Thus I have finally figured out where we're going and from here on things are going to go askew from the show's storylines and we'll actually step in to a definitive alternate reality.
*******************************************
Clark's hands always amazed him, and considering the fact so many things about Clark were amazing and mysterious, he often wondered why that surprised him.
They were long fingered and sensitive, supple and strong, and extraordinarily soft. That was what surprised him - that someone who obviously engaged in hard manual labor on a farm every day could have such soft hands. There were no calluses, no scars, and no ragged nails or cuticles. It was and odd analogy but as Clark ran his hands over his body, Lex was put in mind the vision of a soft chamois cloth running over the hood of a Rolls Royce. When Lex was a child Lionel had owned a Rolls, and the chauffeur carried a chamois cloth in his back pocket to wipe off any fingerprints from the shining black car. Lex had asked to touch the cloth once, as it appeared to be so soft, and the texture of Clark's hands reminded him of that softness.
Lex stretched, relaxing under the caresses like a cat gone limp under petting. If he'd been a cat he would have been purring as Clark's hands wandered over his face, his chest and his hips to finally brush over the inside of one thigh. A shiver ran up his spine.
"You're getting too good at this." he breathed, his mouth close to Clark's ear.
"I had a good teacher." was the answer, and any further commentary from Lex was ceased by the application of lips over his mouth.
He broke away from the kisses a moment later when Clark made careful use of his fingers in a very sensitive location. "Oh God, I didn't teach you that!"
"Nope. Figured that one out on my own."
He repeated the action, and Lex moaned.
"Fuck."
"Eventually." Clark said quietly. "You taught me how to tease too."
Lex arced his body up into the one holding him down. "Stop fooling around...ah...shit."
"Patience, patience."
With a growl, his green eyes blazing with a combination of excitement and irritation, Lex made use of one of his own hands.
"Ow!"
"Clark, since when have you known me to be a patient man? Get busy, or get off."
"Wouldn't getting off and getting busy be the same thing under the circumstances?"
Lex stifled a laugh. "You know - you're pretty tough Clark, but not - right - here...."
"Ow, damnit! All right, all right, just let go." He laughed, re-initiated the kissing, and did as he was told.
A few minutes later they were both breathing rather heavily and Lex had to chuckle.
"Brat."
**********************
Clark was asleep. Lex could tell by the rhythm of his breathing as they lay together in the early morning sunlight coming through the windows. The sunlight was warming the room, and only a corner of the sheet was draped across them as Clark lay sprawled on his back with Lex pressed to his side. He'd often lain with his head on Ryan's shoulder in a similar manner; watching him sleep and simply enjoying the fact they were together. Aside from the coloring, Clark was very like him. Lex watched him sleep and admired the way his long lashes brushed his cheeks, and how his hair curled around his face. He ran his hand over the lean ribs and felt the comforting beat of Clark's heart beneath them; and he thought of Ryan. Where would he be right now if Ryan had lived?
He couldn't even imagine, at this point, being anywhere else with anyone else.
He sighed, moved closer, and closed his eyes...
Only to open them a moment later when a uncomfortable sensation crept over him. He had, suddenly, the distinct impression of someone watching him. No one should have been in the house, however, except the two of them. When Clark had called saying he'd contrived to get out of the house overnight, Lex had given the household staff leave to go home early and come in late the following day - today. He also knew, positively, that Lionel was in Europe.
He rolled his eyes towards the open door, and saw, much to his horror, a woman standing there.
She was back lit from the sun coming through the windows out in the hall so he could only see her outline and could not make out her features. Her hair was too long for it to be Chloe Sullivan, who he would not put past snooping around uninvited; and she was too short in stature to be Victoria who would probably find no problem with making herself right at home.
Lana?
Lex frowned and opened his mouth to just ask, but his words evaporated when he realized the time and the day of the week. It was saturday and roughly ten o'clock in the morning.
And he'd forgotten to cancel the produce order.
Upon finding no one answering her call when there should have been, she'd apparently felt concerned enough to investigate. Her investigations had led her upstairs, and into the door they'd so stupidly left standing open.
There was something more ominous about her quiet, seething fury than in all of Lionel's bellowing.
"You slimy son of a bitch."
Lex sat up.
He wasn't quite sure how to react to her. He had several options, and they all went through his mind in a heartbeat before he settled upon reacting like the adult he was supposed to be. Before she could say anything more he rose from the bed, grabbed a robe from the back of a chair, and was at her side with his hand on her elbow. He ignored the fact that she jerked it away angrily.
"Don't wake him up." he whispered.
"Don't you tell me....."
"Just shut up and talk to me - all right - before you go off on him."
Their eyes met, and Martha did not speak.
"All right?" he repeated.
Reluctantly, she nodded, and they went into the hallway. As he shut the door Lex glanced back inside where Clark had rolled over but still slept. He had no idea what he was going to say to her or how the situation was going to work itself out, but he would do his damnest to keep Clark from getting hurt. He thanked God for two things: that it had been Martha and not Jonathan who had made the discovery and that she'd not tried to kill him.
Of course there was still time for her to do so.
Martha held her tongue until they were behind the closed doors of the second floor library.
"What have you done?" she demanded, still holding herself in check - barely. "What have you done to my son?"
Lex sighed. "I haven't done anything to him."
Her laugh dripped with sarcasm.
It was cold in the shadowy library and Lex pulled the robe closer around him as he sat down in a chair. He looked up at her impassively as he spoke.
"If you're thinking I seduced him Martha, you're wrong. He came to me."
She had been pacing, but at his words she stopped and looked at him but immediately shook her head in denial.
"Clark isn't..."
"Gay?" Lex said quietly, as she hesitated. "No. He's not. He is lonely, confused, and frightened though, and I think we both know why."
Ah, let her chew on that tidbit for a little while.
"What has he told you?"
Lex hesitated, then told her the truth - or at least parts of it.
"Nothing specific. Most of what I know I've deduced on my own. He's different, he knows it, and I'm the only one he trusted. Are you aware he's been spying on Lana through the telescope in the loft?" He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and watched her reaction.
She was, of course, shocked.
"No!"
"Are you aware of what happened to him in October, on homecoming night?"
Her eyes narrowing, she stared at him. "He went to the dance, and stopped that scarecrow kid from killing everyone. He told me."
"You're his mother Martha, he's only going to tell you what you want to hear." Lex said softly. "So you know about the scarecrow tradition?"
"Jonathan told me. He tried to get it stopped when he was on the team. What are you trying to tell me?" she demanded. "I know how you work Lex, stop playing with me and get to the point."
He gave her a long, cool look before he did as she asked.
"Clark was the scarecrow this year. I found him trussed up like a turkey in the middle of a field. Something was making him ill." He was not going to reveal his knowledge regarding Lana's necklace to her, not yet. "He didn't mention it did he?"
"No." she said quietly.
"Nor obviously the fact they molested him before they strung him up."
He saw her flinch, and the horrified expression on her face told him what he'd known: she hadn't a clue. Lex pressed his advantage, and he felt the control of the situation tip into his favor.
"They raped him Martha." he said bluntly. "So imagine what he's been going through. He's raging with hormones, frightened because he knows he's different, and his only sexual experience was the result of a brutal attack. Who is he going to talk to about it? His mother - how embarrassing? Or his father, who we both know would fly off the deep end? No. He came to a friend. He came to me."
She sagged into another chair, and to her credit and Lex's surprise, she did not break down into tears. "Clark...." The pain in her voice was cutting.
He paused a moment, and quietly added: "He is different Martha, which is why this has gone the way it has. He wants Lana, that's true, but if he ever had her - he'd put her in the hospital."
Which was not completely true, but she did not have to know all the details.
"We've kept it very discrete. No one knows. So before you decide to make a big issue of it, you think about the consequences to Clark."
She looked up sharply, and he saw then the tears glinting in her eyes. "Are you threatening me?"
Funny, I said the same thing to Chloe just last week.
"No Martha. I'm not. I'm telling you because I care about Clark. If you, for instance, went home and told your husband what I've just told you, he's going to make it an issue. Someone is going to find out, and in a town this size, it won't be long before everyone knows." Lex's expression was wry. "They're already looking for anything they can to bring me down and would jump on something like this in a heartbeat. But think about it. What another scandal mean to me?" It was a hypothetical question, and when she naturally did not answer, he continued. "The press can be bought Martha. All I'll have to do is move out of town again and nobody will ever know outside of Smallville. Clark doesn't have that option. You and Jonathan don't have that option. The three of you will be ruined."
"I want this stopped." she raged. "If you care so much about him you'll call this - affair - off! Right now - today."
His eyes turned cold.
"No."
Her eyes narrowed.
"He's sixteen Lex. I could have you arrested for statutory rape."
"First of all, if I'm not mistaken, the age of consent in Kansas is sixteen. Secondly - money can buy more than just the silence of the press. The whole judicial system is terribly flawed by the inability of its key players not to accept a generous bribe."
He did not tell her age of consent would only apply if the affair was heterosexual; and that there were plenty of lawmakers who would be more than willing to lock Lex Luthor up in jail and throw away the key. If Martha called the police, Lex would be behind bars faster than he could pack a bag. The vision of calling his father and informing Lionel he was in jail on a sodomy charge was not particularly appealing.
"There again Martha," Lex said, still speaking softly. "If you did call the police, and they did investigate, you don't think they would keep things quiet do you? The whole town knew about Jonathan's arrest a few months ago in less than ten minutes."
Check.
"Do you really want people to look at Clark and call him 'faggot' on top of all the other shit he has to deal with?"
Just what else that was, Lex had no clue, but Martha knew and his words struck a nerve.
She stared at him - trembling. Her face was pale and strained, making her seem much older than forty-something. He could see her mind frantically trying to find a way out like a rat in a maze, and knew she'd find nothing because he never could. No matter what she did Clark was going to suffer for it. Lex did own him, regardless of Clark's naive belief that no one did, and now Martha knew it too.
She buried her face in her hands, and wept.
Check mate.
***********************
Lex didn't mention his encounter with Martha to Clark.
Clark wasn't happy when he found out.
"Why didn't you tell me?" He demanded, some twenty four-plus hours later when he burst into Lex's den with a murderous expression. "What did you do to my mother?"
Lex didn't look up from his computer. "So she told you. I was wondering if she would."
"Lex..."
He raised his head. "Clark I didn't do anything to her. She walked in, saw what was going on, and I told her the truth. I didn't tell you what happened because I wanted to give her the chance to tell you herself."
"She says you're blackmailing her."
"Blackmail?" Lex laughed. "That's harsh." He sobered at the look on Clark's face. "I only told her what would happen if she made a big fuss. She's upset Clark. I didn't want her to do anything we'd all regret later. That's all. I'm not blackmailing your mother. I told her the truth. Its not an easy truth to accept."
"She carries around enough secrets. She doesn't need this." Clark started pacing, something unusual for him, and he ran his hands through his hair. "She doesn't need this." he repeated.
"She's asked you to break it off?"
"Of course she did. She's begging me Lex."
Lex hesitated. "What did you say?"
Clark stopped pacing, but wouldn't look up, and Lex knew him well enough to know he was hurting. His voice was a whisper, and very rough.
"I told her I wasn't ready to give you up yet."
I love you for that Clark. I really do.
"She didn't take that well I'm presuming."
Here come the water works.
"She's not speaking to me." Turning his eyes towards Lex, Clark looked as if his whole world had suddenly come crashing down around him.
In a sense it had. He'd suddenly crossed the line into adulthood. He was no longer unwise to the mysteries of sex and sexual relationships; which was all well and good when no one knew about it. With his mother made aware, innocence was lost. He was grown up, and there was no running back to her for comfort. So he ran straight from his mother's embrace....
And right into Lex's.
Lex silently congratulated himself as he got up.
"If you were a girl," he said quietly, as he stood in front of Clark with his hands in his pockets and a faint smile playing across his lips. "and I were a halfway decent man - I'd present you with a handkerchief and tell you not to worry about your mascara running because you were still the most beautiful sight I'd ever seen."
Clark laughed a little, and wiped his nose on his sleeve. His grey eyes were still pained, and he was still crying, but he favored Lex with a wry smile. "You're an idiot."
"She'll get over it Clark." Lex said quietly. "What's hardest for her isn't the fact that its me you're fooling around with, but that you're fooling around at all. Her baby is all grown up. How do you think that makes her feel?"
He didn't answer right away. "We've always been so close...do you really think she'll come around?"
"She loves you doesn't she? Of course she will." Lex took his hands out of his pockets and slipped them around Clark's waist. "She's not going to abandon you just because she disagrees with you. She's not that kind of person." He cocked his head. "Of course I think if I set foot on the farm anytime soon she'll fill my backside with buckshot."
Clark sniffed - raised a hand to wipe his eyes.
"Tell me, what's going on with your father during all this?"
"He thinks she's started menopause and that's why she's so moody."
Lex shook his head. "A convenient excuse. You don't think she'll say anything to him do you?"
"Are you kidding? She just got him out of jail on manslaughter charges. I'm sure she's not anxious for him to go back." Sighing, Clark leaned his forehead against Lex's. "Besides, I asked her not to and she agreed. She knows the consequences. I just hate that she has to go through this alone."
There was a long silence, and they simply stood together, looking into each other's eyes.
"I'm scared of this." Clark whispered finally. "I don't know when it got so complicated. Its like I've gotten myself addicted to some drug and I need more and more to get myself through until the next fix. I can't stop."
"Yeah, that's what it feels like."
"What?"
"Being in love."
Clark looked at him carefully. "Is that what it is?"
"I'd like to think so." Lex whispered. "Its hard to admit isn't it? You have to give up part of yourself."
"Was that hard for you?"
Lex hesitated but he couldn't lie to those eyes. Not this close. "Yes."
Drawing a long breath, Clark said: "Do you remember when I first came to you? I told you I was used to making sacrifices."
"Yes." Lex gradually moved his head, angling in slowly.
"I don't know," Clark closed his eyes. "If I can make this one."
Lex kissed him, very slowly, letting his tongue explore Clark's lips and mouth - tickling and teasing inside and out. When he withdrew he applied just the slightest bit of suction to Clark's lower lip, and quietly ended the kiss.
"I think you already have."
"I can't."
Clark's voice was desperate, but still not above a whisper, and as Lex pulled him closer he could feel his muscles tighten. He was terrified.
Of what?
"You don't understand...."
Lex let him go and backed off. He knew he was about to lose his temper and he turned his back in a concentrated effort to keep things under wraps.
"Clark, I am so tired of that."
"I know. Lex its not you. I promise, its not you. I just - unconditional love isn't something I can do. I can't give one hundred percent. I have responsibilities....."
His temper snapped, and Lex did turn around. "Responsibilities? Clark you're a sixteen year old farm brat. What fucking responsibilities? Try walking in my shoes for a day. You help take care of a multi-national corporation. You walk down the street and have people stare at you because you're fucking bald at the age of twenty four. You live under Lionel Luthor's thumb, and you wake up every morning knowing not one single person on the whole damn planet gives a shit if you live or die. Take on those responsibilities Clark."
Clark's grey eyes were unwavering, and his voice was as cool as ever. Unperturbed, he met Lex's tirade and embraced it with a quiet rant of his own. "You know where you come from Lex." he said softly. " At least you know that when you wake up in the morning you'll be the same person you were the night before. I don't always have that luxury."
"Clark..."
"I'm not human."
"We're all human Clark. If you weren't you wouldn't be having these doubts..."
"I'm not being figurative Lex."
Lex's brows dipped together. There was nothing in Clark's eyes to explain what he was thinking, nor what he meant other than the obvious interpretation of his words.
What the fuck?
"With that comes - gifts. With those gifts come responsibilities and a future already laid out in front of me. Lex I told you - you are part of my path. I meant that and I believe it. I'm frightened of the day I have to leave you when the path carries me past. I can't afford to leave anything behind, especially not my heart and soul. I swore I would always be there for you and I meant that too, but it may not be like what we have now. You promised to protect me from getting hurt but Lex...I can't make the same promise. I can't be in love with you."
Lex could not break away from his stare.
"I am not - human." The tears began anew and the momentum of his words increased. "I can't love anyone. Even when I'm with you, I'm alone. I'll always be alone. That's what has made the whole thing with Lana so hard for me Lex. I see her with Whitney and I know one day they're going to get married and have a family - I want that life. That's what I want more than anything in the world and I can't have it no matter what I do. And this - our relationship - I'm always going to want more. No matter how much you love me, or whatever you do - you can't give me the life I want either - and I'm not going to drag you down with me. So don't ask me to love you because - I - can't."
Of all the myriad thoughts which could have come to the forefront in Lex's mind, the one that did took him by surprise. It was very typical of his own methods of dealing with overwhelming emotion and under another circumstance would have had him laughing. Instead he found it horribly sad both from understanding it was a major flaw of his own, and that it was undoubtably true.
Clark really needed to get completely drunk and forget about everything for a few days.
The second thought grabbed him around the heart and gave him a rather vicious shake.
Clark's long tirade was nothing BUT a confession of love, or at the very least a deep rooted caring.
He told me his darkest secrets. He vowed he'd always be there for me. He loves me enough not to love me.
He's made me love him even more. God - this is killing me.
"Sit down Clark before you fall down."
"I..."
"Just sit the fuck down."
Clark obeyed, and Lex debated momentarily whether or not he would pour himself a drink before he sat down himself. In the end he decided to the negative, and quietly sat down beside Clark on the sofa. He sat sideways, resting his elbow along the back, and watched Clark wipe his tears away with shaking fingers. It brought to mind, once again, how soft Clark's hands were.
And how strong.
"I did hit you didn't I?"
A nod.
Lex sighed.
"I'm not asking you to love me Clark, but I think you do."
"I'm so confused....."
"I know you are."
"I love Lana, or at least I thought I did." He looked up at Lex and his brows came together. "But it would never work out."
"And she'd get hurt, and you don't want to do that to her."
"Yeah."
"That's love. Don't fool yourself into thinking it isn't. All the sacrifices you make for other people just illustrates how big your heart is Clark. That makes you human. You're certainly more human than I am. I couldn't do it."
Maybe not for anyone else, but I'm doing it for you.
"You've told me your secrets Clark. That's pretty unconditional."
"I don't want to hurt you."
Translation: I love you.
"I know." Lex accepted his head upon his chest, and held him.
"But I want to be with you, and I want to confide in you...."
"Just start at the beginning," Lex whispered. "and tell me."
*************************
If I had learned Clark's secrets a few months ago, he'd be bottled up in a lab somewhere right now....
Lex parked the Ferarri and got out, momentarily grumbling at having had to park further down the street than he wanted, and hunting for change to put in the meter.
Instead of curled up asleep in my bed.
They'd sat on the couch all afternoon and Lex had quietly listened to Clark tell him everything, starting with the meteor shower onward. The confusion, the fear and the guilt Clark felt all started to make perfect sense - as did the weird things that seemed to circulate around him. Lex surprised himself by not being surprised; nor particularly alarmed. He'd guessed quite a bit already and since he was extremely familiar with Clark physically, the "alien" part was not frightening to him.
It explained the on/off libido switch.
Once or twice Lex caught himself thinking "profit" and "experiment" and immediately shoved those thoughts out of his head by realizing they were much in the vein of how Lionel would react. What would be the point? He'd fought too hard to keep Clark, why would he throw that away now? If, however, things ever degenerated to the point where Lex might benefit from making Clark a science experiment.....
Lex prayed they wouldn't, because he doubted his ability to resist the temptation.
He hadn't resisted the temptation of taking advantage of Clark there on the couch when the talking was over and his mind was bursting with the knowledge that he - Lex Luthor - was in complete possession of the worlds only living extra terrestrial. It was a monumental turn on.
When the tables turned upon them finally making it upstairs, and said extra terrestrial took advantage of him, Lex was a little bit hesitant at first due to his new knowledge. Clark seemed to sense it immediately. He proceeded quite carefully, and under his delicate touch, Lex's apprehensions very quickly vanished. It ended up being some of the most passionate moments they'd yet to experience together and as Lex came back down from the climactic high, he wondered at it. Did "love" really bring so much to the sex act? The answer had to be yes, because something had very definitely changed between them.
Thinking of Ryan, he wondered if he really had loved him at all.
Clark had watched him dress for a meeting with Lana at the Talon. He himself hadn't bothered to get up and Lex left him alone.
"Picking buckshot out of your ass, " Clark stated quietly as Lex bent over to pull on a sock, "could be very interesting."
Lex had straightened and given him a mock glare. "Bite your tongue."
And Clark, rather languidly, had stretched himself across the bed in a very seductive manner. "Why don't you bite it for me?"
"I'd rather. Lana's droning gets on my last nerve Clark. I don't know why you find her so attractive. She's horribly insipid and hasn't a scrap of originality."
"In other words, she's dull and stupid?"
"Exactly."
Clark propped himself up on one elbow and had regarded Lex solemnly. "She's not really like that you know. She's got her secrets too, one of which is that she's much more intelligent than she seems. And she's extremely pretty." His eyes had glinted with mischief. "Are you jealous?"
"No." Lex replied quietly, and leaned over to kiss him. "Who's bed is this?"
"Yours."
"Then why should I be jealous?" he'd asked, and he had, indeed, bitten Clark's tongue. "I have to go."
As he finished feeding the parking meter he glanced at his watch. He was early. Lex liked being early. It gave him an advantage and made people who were late even later - fueling his temper for a tirade on punctuality. He whistled a little as he strolled down the sidewalk, wondering if he would make it back in time to catch Clark before he went home. A third round would be very appealing.
As if sensing his thoughts, Martha Kent suddenly appeared in front of him.
She had come out of the flower shop, which lay between Lex and his destination - the theater next door. That in itself was unusual because not only was the relationship between Nell and Martha rather chilly but over the years Martha had started growing her own flowers. Lex knew this - he bought from her. Even more unusual was the fact she was voicing thanks to Nell, who stood in the doorway, and both women were smiling. Lex frowned as Nell vanished back into the shop and Martha turned around to face him.
She was still smiling.
Alarm bells started clanging wildly in Lex's head.
Fuck.
"Martha." he said quietly.
"Lex." she frowned, but only slightly. "Have you seen Clark?"
She was baiting him. He knew she was baiting him, but he could not resist.
"I just finished screwing him as a matter of fact. He's probably still asleep in my bed."
Put that in your corncob pipe and smoke it, he thought maliciously. He was rewarded as she flinched visibly.
It did not, however, phase her for long.
"If he's still there when you get back, wake him up and send him home for dinner will you please?" Her green eyes were narrowed, but her expression neutral as she started to brush by him.
He should not have been surprised when she stopped right at his shoulder, and turned her head to look at him.
"Oh, by the way, I just had a very nice talk with your father. What a positively charming man." She paused to savor the expression of horror Lex knew had to be upon his face. "Give him my regards when he arrives tomorrow."
He felt as if he'd suddenly been plunged into a vat of ice water. He turned his head to look at her, and their eyes, the same color of green, locked.
"You can't play games with me Lex Luthor," she hissed, "I've been dealing with secrets and hidden agendas a hell of a lot longer than you have. Its time for you to get your sleezy hands off my son and stop meddling with his heart. You are a lying, filthy dog who doesn't care about anyone but himself.You don't give a damn about Clark getting hurt; you just get off on having someone to manipulate. Well that's over buddy. This is going to blow wide open and I promise you it is not going to be Clark who gets hurt. You will not be left standing Lex, and I for one will enjoy seeing you go down."
With that, she turned away from him, and continued down the sidewalk.
Lex stood there, motionless, with a face gone pale and slack of expression.
She had called his father.
She had called the hounds of hell down on him.