A/N: Hey everyone! Well, it's Chapter 10. Wow, only 2 more to go after this. So, in this chapter we have a Quidditch match. The Prank War also continues. It takes place in the month of April (Sorry people, I forgot about April Fool's Day L ). So, without further ado, here is Chapter 10.
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MY2 ~ The Great Prank War
By: Noelle
Chapter 10: Not So Perfect
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Sirius Black awoke on that Saturday morning relatively early. In fact, really early since Peeves the Poltergeist decided to come 'visit' him.
The Gryffindor-Ravenclaw match would take place in a few hours. Sirius awoke (Peeves dumped a bucket of cold water on his head), taking note that the two-week punishment was finally over, and dressed quickly. He also grabbed his broom and whacked James with it, to wake him up. After all, if Sirius couldn't sleep, neither could James.
"What'd you do that for?" James asked groggily, rubbing his new bruise.
"Quidditch Game," Sirius said nonchalantly, whacking James again. James stared daggers at Sirius, but got out of bed.
The two boys walked down to the common room, where they met Molly, Bella, Gwyneth (who was going for support), Andromada, Christopher, and Daniel Jefferson.
"Peeves?" James questioned. The others nodded murderously.
The team walked to the Great Hall together. Except for Bella, who walked behind James and Sirius, not wanting to get pranked.
Sirius noticed that Daniel Jefferson looked incredibly nervous. "Hey James," he said, nudging James in the side, "let's go talk to him." James nodded, and the two walked faster and caught up to him. "Hey Dan," Sirius said.
"Hullo," Daniel said hoarsely.
"Are you all right?" James asked.
"No, I'm fine," Daniel said.
"You're lying," Sirius said. "I can see you shaking."
"Is Quidditch always this nerve-wracking?" he asked.
"Just about," James answered him cheerily, taking a seat at the Gryffindor Table.
Daniel didn't even look at the food. He paled tremendously instead.
"Daniel, you are going to eat," Andromada commanded, shoving a chocolate éclair in his hand. Daniel moved it mechanically toward his mouth, and took a big bite.
And then, Daniel Jefferson fainted.
"What did you do, 'Drom?" Molly screeched, running over to the fallen Quidditch player.
"I just gave him an éclair!" Andromada said, throwing up her hands defensively.
Molly froze. "No," she said, slowly and softly. "No No NO!" You didn't!"
"What wrong? I thought the chocolate would get some sugar into the poor boy!"
"No! 'Drom, Daniel is allergic to chocolate!"
"Oops. My bad," Andromada said sheepishly, having the decency to look apologetic.
Molly, on the other hand, was having a nervous breakdown. "We can't play with six players! And if we lose this game, we have no chance of winning the Cup!"
"I said I was sorry!" Andromada screamed back at Molly. "How was I supposed to know this would happen.
"Oh, I'm sorry 'Drom," Molly said, calming down. "So, when should I announce the forfeit?"
"We are NOT going to forfeit!" Bella screeched. "We can find someone! What about Brooks?"
"He's a terrible Chaser," Sirius answered. "What about Toria?"
"She's never ridden a broom in her life, except for Flying Class. And she failed that. What about your brother, James?"
"He's also a horrible Chaser. He can do Keeper, but that's about it. What about Evans?"
"Commentator. That's her Quidditch Skill Level. What about Remus?"
"REMUS!" Sirius shouted. "That's it! He's a bloody good Chaser! I'll go get him!" Sirius ran off to retrieve Remus, while the others tried to revive Daniel. James ended up running to get Madame Pomfrey.
Several minutes later, Sirius reentered the Great Hall dragging a struggling Remus, while Madame Pomfrey rushed in, followed by James. She conjured a stretcher for Daniel and floated him on to it. She then lectured the group on allergies and the dangerous effects certain foods have on people before rushing off to the Hospital Wing.
The group turned to Sirius now, who was holding on to the still struggling Remus.
"I won't do it!" he shouted, trying to get out of Sirius' grasp.
"Why won't you do it, Remus?" Andromada asked, clearly outraged by his lack of Quidditch spirit.
"My girlfriend is a Chaser on the Ravenclaw team!" Remus shouted. "I am not going to play against her!"
"You have a girlfriend?" Andromada shrieked delightfully. She went over to Molly, Gwyneth, and Bella, where they began to chorus, "Remmie has a girlfriend, Remmie has a girlfriend!"
"Shut it!" Remus said, turning an interesting red colour. The girls, noticing this, continued on. "Okay, okay! I'll do it!" he said resignedly. The girls squealed in happiness, hugging Remus at the same time. "Geroff," Remus said, trying to push them off. "But on one condition."
The girls immediately let go, and stared at Remus defiantly. Remus cleared his throat. "You do not announce my name. I will pretend to be Daniel."
"All right," Molly agreed, grinning broadly. She held out her hand, shaking Remus'. They didn't have to forfeit after all.
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
"What a wonderful day for Quidditch!" Lily shouted, as Quidditch fans poured into the stadium. "I'm Lily Evans, your commentator. I'm joined by Mungungus 'the Dungster' Fletcher. How are you doing?"
"I'm doing good Lily. I'm anticipating this match. The winner (who's going to be Gryffindor if they know what's good for them) will move on and play Hufflepuff for the Quidditch Cup."
"Exciting, isn't it. Now, I've been hearing rumours about a replacement Chaser. What's going on there?"
"Well, Lily, Gwyneth Baker fragmented her arm in several spots, including her wrist. She is not able to play for a few more months, so yes, a replacement was needed. Gryffindor has gone to Daniel Jefferson, a 6th Year. We don't know a lot about him, and haven't seen him play, but I have faith."
"I heard that Daniel had an allergic reaction this morning and wouldn't be able to play? Have you found any information on that allegation?"
"Well, yes, he did have an allergic reaction of some sort, but he is going to play. I don't think this will damage Gryffindor's chances in any ways."
(a/n: Remember, Remus is disguised as Jefferson and is playing against his girlfriend, Rhiane Richards.)
"And here comes the Ravenclaw team. The Keeper and Captain, Margaret McNulty. Rhiane Richards, Kaylee Van Dunn, and Elliot Erikson are the Chasers. Robert Babolia and Alan Attaman are the Beaters and lastly, the Seeker, Brock Brattington. Let's hope they're not poor losers!" Mundungus said.
"And here is the Gryffindor team. Molly Fitzgerald is the Captain, and Chaser. The other Chasers will be James Potter (at this, Lily gagged) and Daniel Jefferson. The unstoppable Beaters are the Black siblings, Andromada and Sirius. And my best friend, Miss Arabella Figg, is the Seeker! Give it up for Gryffindor, the soon to be Quidditch Cup champions!"
At this, Ravenclaw and Slytherin booed, but the Hufflepuffs cheered. They were supporting Gryffindor that day.
"The Captains are shaking hands. They back up, for a pre-game pep talk. Madame Hooch blows the whistle… and they're off! Jefferson with the Quaffle. He soars down the field, toward the Ravenclaw Keeper. He aims for the middle… but no, he shoots to the right and scores! Gryffindor, 10 - 0!"
"That was a marvelous play," Mundungus said. "Now it's Ravenclaw with the Quaffle, and they do not look happy. Rhiane Richards has the Quaffle. But no, Jefferson steals the Quaffle and throws it to Molly by the goals. And she scores! 20 - zip, Gryffindor!"
"Ravenclaw with the Quaffle again. Van Dunn with the Quaffle this time. Oh, nice bludger work by Andromada Black. Van Dunn drops the Quaffle right into the open arms of Daniel Jefferson. Long throw to Molly Fitzgerald. Short pass to Potter, who scores. 30 - 0." Mundungus jumped into the air.
"Quaffle in Ravenclaw possession. Richards zooming down the field. Passes to Erikson, but it is intercepted by Jefferson. Wow, this boy is good! He soars down the field. McNulty waiting for him… she looks ready, but no, he scores! Why wasn't he the official Reserve?" Lily questioned.
"I'm not sure, but he should be! Jefferson steals the Quaffle… and he ducks that bludger sent by the Ravenclaw beater. Ouch, Sirius gets that Beater back. Jefferson still with the Quaffle. Passes to Potter, who drops back a few paces… what are they doing? Jefferson in the scoring area… and Potter shoots… wait! It's a pass for Jefferson. Jefferson scores! 40 - 0!"
"Now, we haven't seen a lot from the Ravenclaw Beaters, Babolia and Attaman. They have remained inactive, the Gryffindor Beaters dominating the Bludgers."
"Wow, this Jefferson kid is a Rookie, but he's good! Look at him go! He steals the ball from Van Dunn, and passes to Fitzgerald. Fitzgerald drops back now. And it's a Hawkshead! Ravenclaw doesn't stand a chance! Potter in the center. But what now? Now, he drops back. They're in some sort of a formation. It's a straight line, one behind the other. Fitzgerald has the lead, Jefferson is in the center, and Potter takes up the rear! I've never seen this before. Now, the Blacks are flying alongside them. They're approaching the Ravenclaw end. And Fitzgerald drops down, Potter flies up. Jefferson stays, and zooms ahead. Now they're in a straight vertical line. Potter on top has the Quaffle. And he drops it down to Jefferson, who scores! What is that called?" Mundungus asked.
"I have just gotten word that the formation is called the 'Bangerang Formation'. What a name! And it works! The concept came from Jefferson, minutes before the game!"
"That's amazing. Be on the lookout for the Bangerang in the Quidditch World Cup! Now, Richards with the Quaffle, and fire in her eyes. I think this Jefferson fellow is getting on her nerves. She's holding the Quaffle loosely… a little too loosely, because Jefferson steals the Quaffle. A Canasta Formation created by the late Javier Canasta. They are in a circle, the Quaffle in between them. Ravenclaw cannot get the Quaffle, and the Keeper doesn't know who has main control of the Quaffle. And they're right in front of the goals. They branch off, and the Keeper moves toward Jefferson. But he doesn't have the Quaffle! Fitzgerald does, and she throws the Quaffle through the left hoop! She scores! Gryffindor, 60 - 0!
"Is that a glint of gold? The Seekers notice it. Brock Brattington and Bella Figg are neck and neck. But Bella moves ahead… the Snitch flies up. The Seekers ascend into the sky… Brock is ahead… but no, the Snitch goes into a dive. Bella follows it… and Bella captures the Snitch! Gryffindor wins! Gryffindor wins!" Lily jumped up and hugged Mundungus, jumping in circles. "The game was a shutout. The score is an amazing 210 to 0! The Gryffindors are going to the Cup! This, in a large part, is due to the excellent Chaser work by Daniel Jefferson! Gryffindor for the Cup!"
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"Hey Rhi," Remus said, sliding next to Rhiane at the Ravenclaw table. He was flushed and slightly out of breath.
"Hullo Remus."
"What's wrong?" Remus asked her, his voice soft and gentle. Rhiane just shrugged. "There's something bothering you…" Remus tried again.
"I guess it's that Jefferson guy. We lost the Quidditch match. Were you there?"
"Of course I was there! Why would you think I wasn't there?" Remus said, looking rather panicked.
Rhiane looked concernedly at her boyfriend. "Remus, are you all right?"
"Why would I not be there?"
"I didn't see you. You weren't in your usual seat, at the exact midpoint between the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw sides," Rhiane said, looking at him suspiciously. "You were impartial, weren't you?"
"Well, yes. I went to go there, but those seats were already taken. So I went and sat somewhere else," Remus lied.
"I think what I'm most upset about is that I didn't play my best. That Jefferson guy stole the Quaffle from me every time! Who is he anyway? I've never even see him before. And how the heck is he so good?"
Remus couldn't contain himself from grinning. Noticing the suspicious look on Rhiane's face, he toned it down a little, but still grinned. "Jefferson is a 6th Year, I think."
"Well, I'll get him next time!" Rhiane said murderously. "It's humiliating you know. A shutout. And the worst part is that Maggie thinks its my fault, and is considering dropping me off the team."
"What?" Remus said in shock, his eyes bugging out. "You're joking. You are an amazing Quidditch player. And Rhi, you love Quidditch."
"I know. But if it's for the good of the house…"
"Don't even talk like that," Remus said sternly, covering her mouth.
"Mmmmm mmmmm mm…" Rhiane began. Remus uncovered her mouth. "Maggie wants to have a scrimmage against Gryffindor. If it's another shutout, I'm off the team. Now, I have to go to see McGonagall. I have a question about the essay. I'll talk to you later?"
"Of course," Remus said, gazing at her strangely. Rhiane gave on last look at Remus before getting up and walking away.
After Rhiane left, Remus stalked over to the Gryffindor Table, where the Quidditch Team was huddled at one end.
"I QUIT!" Remus whispered loudly, looking over his shoulder to make sure no one overheard.
"Remus, you can't quit. We have one match left, and it's for the Cup!" Molly said.
"I don't care. I quit!"
"Why?" James asked, looking at Remus through narrowed eyes.
"Because if I ever play again, my girlfriend is probably going to get kicked off the Ravenclaw team. And Quidditch is her life! I couldn't do that to her!"
Sirius stared coldly at Remus. "Oh. I see. So you're saying that you're sabotaging us so that you girlfriend won't look bad?"
"No! I'm saying that… I quit!"
"Sorry, but you can't. Remus, you are the best player we have! Do you really want Gryffindor to lose the Cup? The Cup we're playing Hufflepuff for, and not Ravenclaw," Andromada said.
"I quit! I am not going to be responsible for ending Rhi's Quidditch career. Find someone else to play. Ravenclaw wants a scrimmage. And if Ravenclaw loses, Rhi gets kicked off the team!" Remus whispered furiously. "I am not playing them!"
"So, it's a scrimmage. You don't have to play in that. We'll get Jefferson to play. But, Lupin, you are playing in the cup," James said.
"And if I don't want to?" Remus questioned, crossing his arms.
"You don't have a choice," Molly said. "Before the game, remember how you had to sign some papers?"
"Yes," Remus answered, not seeing where this was going.
"Well, one of them was a contract, stating that if Gryffindor won, you would play in the Cup. You're stuck."
"You know what then? Fine. I'll play. But that doesn't mean I have to play well!" Remus whispered, before walking away angrily.
"Well, that went well," Sirius said brightly. "Pass me the rolls?"
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
The night was cold and dark. Nonetheless, six girls were out of bed, both frightened and determined.
"Are you sure we should do this?" Toria Vanter whispered, pulling her blonde hair into a ponytail.
Kiana Walters was lacing up her combat boots. "Of course."
Lily Evans decided to explain the reason behind this. "It's best to strike them before they strike us, right?"
"I guess," Estella whispered. "But I have a funny feeling about this…"
"Button it up, squirt," Bella Figg, one of the masterminds of the plan, commanded. "We're doing this whether you like it or not. It's for our own safety."
"Fine," Estella muttered, looking down. Jules Potter put her hand on Estella's shoulder and steered her out of the room.
The girls wandered down the staircase in relative silence, minus the creaking stairs. They then wandered straight up the other staircase, straight to the 2nd Year Boys' Dormitories.
Lily went first. She quietly eased the door open, and peeked her head in to make sure all the inhabitants were sleeping. She then motioned for her friends to follow.
"Don't you think we should put a spell on them or something, to make them stay that way?" Estalla whispered to Kiana.
"What's the fun in that?" Kiana questioned, slinking in after Toria. She got down onto her hands and knees before easing on to her stomach. She then army-crawled through the room, avoiding the hazardous side of Thomas and Sirius. "Slobs," she muttered.
Estella, Jules, and Bella followed until all the cammo-clad girls were in the bathroom.
Then, the fun started.
Lily unwrapped the package she had received from her parents. In it was an assortment of muggle candies. Sifting through the contents, Lily found what she was looking for --
"A Pineapple Jolly-Rancher?" Jules questioned. "What's that going to do?"
Lily smirked, looking demonic in the shadows. "This." She then unscrewed the first shower cap and inserted the Jolly-Rancher inside of it. She screwed the shower cap back on, and smiled sinisterly once again.
Opening her palm to reveal four more Jolly-Ranchers, the Venustians each grabbed one, and repeated what Lily did. Soon, all of the showers contained one yellow, Pineapple Jolly-Rancher.
"I still don't understand. What's this going to do?" Estella hissed, aggravated at the lack of attention she was getting.
Suddenly, Sirius stopped snoring and sat up. Estella could see him through the mirror. She fell to the ground, taking Bella and Jules with her.
"Estella? What are you do--" Kiana began.
"James? Is that you in the bathroom?" Sirius called out in the dark. Kiana clasped her hand over her mouth in shock.
Lily panicked, and jumped into a shower, hiding behind the door. Toria did the same.
Jules opened her mouth. "Er… yes, it's me chum. Just taking a crap on the ol' crapper." It was amazing to hear how much she could sound like James.
"All right, buddy. Just remember to flush this time."
"Will do," Jules said, sounding even more like James than before. "G'Night!"
Sirius went off to sleep. The girls knew this because the irritating snoring began once again. All sighed in relief, though. They then exited the room the way they entered, running up to their respective dormitories, thanking the Gods above that they had not been discovered.
* * * * * * *
Lily Evans awoke the next morning a wreck. Her long red hair was knotted and tangled, and she had dark circles under her eyes. Groaning, Lily went to the showers.
She turned on the hot water and stepped in. She then washed her hair two times, before noticing something was wrong.
She felt sticky.
Lily had at first dismissed this as nerves, but she couldn't ignore this now. Her eyes widening, Lily unscrewed the showerhead in a panic --
Only to discover half of a yellow Jolly-Rancher left.
Lily screamed, shutting off the water. How could this happen? They did this to the boys, not to themselves.
Her day would only get worse.
* * * * * *
In Transfiguration, Lily could not concentrate. She had gotten permission to use the Prefect bathrooms from Arthur Weasley, and she no longer felt sticky. Instead, she was furious and confused. So, she decided to take everything out on James Potter.
Lily grabbed the fake homework assignment she had created, and ducked down. She then crawled over to James' desk, and swapped the papers.
Making it back without being spotted, Lily breathed a sigh of relief. "All right, it's time to collect the assignment," Professor Minnie called out. "And I will be reading some of them to the class…" Minnie went around and collected all of the papers before returning to her podium at the front of the room. "Let's see. Number One. What is Anton's theory of Transfiguration? Let's see what Miss Evans has to say… MISS EVANS, WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?"
"What do you mean, Professor?" Lily asked, scrunching her face.
"Anton's theory is that it is best to shut Minnie McGonagall up by turning her into a goat? The resemblance is uncanny already?"
"I didn't put that!" Lily cried out, standing up.
"Yes, you bloody well did! I have the paper in front of me! OUT, MISS EVANS! GET OUT NOW!"
Lily stared at her professor in disbelief before grabbing her satchel and stalking out angrily. What was going on? That was the answer on the fake assignment!
What was going on?
Lily ran to Gryffindor Tower, screaming the password to the Fat Lady. She ran inside, and straight up to her room. There, she collapsed on her bed, pissed off at the world.
Laying there for a while, Lily thought about what was going on. Everything was just going wrong! Hearing someone's footsteps running up the stairs, Lily turned on her stomach.
Someone came flying through the air, and flopped on the bed next to Lily. It was Bella.
"Okay, Lily, what's going on? I know you're not stupid enough to write that when you know McGonagall is going to read it."
"I didn't! That was the fake assignment I gave to James. He somehow got it back to me! But he didn't! Wouldn't I have noticed?" Lily asked exasperatedly. "Maybe I'm just going crazy…"
"Honey, you were crazy to begin with," Bella soothed her, brushing Lily's hair out of her eyes. "Look. Obviously, something is going on. We'll figure it out. I have an idea of what it might be. And if it is, then we're in trouble!"
* * * * * * *
"What are you going to do?" Lily asked softly.
Lily and Bella were pressed up against a stone wall where they watched as the Marauders passed by.
"You can undo Jelly-Legs, right?" Bella asked, pressing her back deeper into the wall.
"Yes. What does that have to do with anything?" Lily asked, obviously confused.
"Everything," Bella said shortly as she cast the Jelly-Legs Jinx on Sirius.
"What happened?" Lily asked, as Bella jiggled about. "Finite Incantateum!"
"That would prove my theory. We've been had, my friend. They were one step ahead of us." Bella looked down dejectedly. "They outdid us."
"What do you mean? I don't get it."
"Well, they cast a charm on themselves called the Backfiring Charm. Basically, everything we've tried to do to the Marauders has backfired on us. We put those candies in their showers, they ended up in ours. You swapped James' assignment, but yours ended up being switched," Bella explained.
"How can we fix this though?" Lily asked, panicking. "It means they're unstoppable!"
"We can't."
"We have to be able to do something!" Lily said.
"The only thing we can do is leave them alone. Don't prank them. The worst part is that they can still prank us." Bella frowned.
Lily's eyes brightened. "Can't we put that charm on ourselves?" she asked.
"If it were only that easy. First, the charm is incredibly hard to find. And if we somehow managed to find it, you need five people to perform it."
Lily groaned, and slid down the wall onto the floor. "My life is over. If I can't do anything to Potter, there's no reason for living!"
Bella slid next to her. "I know. But the charm doesn't last that long! I think it's a week."
"Can't they just recast it?"
"Nope. Certain rules apply to that charm. It can only be performed on a certain date (the eve of the full moon) and one group can only use it once a year."
"Finally, this is getting better!" Lily said enthusiastically.
"Lils," Bella said gently, "It's going to get a lot worse before it gets better."
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
It was a windy April morning. The dew on the grass shone like twinkling lights. The air was like a cold breath on the back of one's neck. The ground was fairly hard, but not too hard. The sun was hidden between dark clouds.
It was the day of the Gryffindor-Ravenclaw Scrimmage match.
"Rhi, you'll do fine. You are on the team already, you know. That shows you're good. You have nothing to worry about," Remus Lupin comforted his girlfriend, Rhiane Richards, as they walked onto the field side by side.
"I'm just glad you're here," Rhiane said, looking at Remus, her eyes full of loneliness. Inside, she was ready to punch him. The only thing they've ever done in their two months of dating was hold hands. And that was only once, three weeks ago! He hadn't gotten the hint to put his arm around her, or hug her, or even kiss her!
The two continued their walk to the center of the field, where the rest of the Quidditch teams were gathered. Molly was talking with Margaret McNulty, the other team captain. Andromada was talking to Sirius about their Beater strategy. James and Bella were glaring at Daniel Jefferson, who was bragging about his 'superb performance' at the last match.
"That git wasn't there! He was in the hospital wing because he is allergic to chocolate! To chocolate!" James hissed furiously to Bella. Bella nodded in agreement, but also glared at the Marauders.
"Good luck," Remus said, as Kaylee Van Dunn, Robert Babolia, and Brock Brattington made their way over.
"Lupin," Brock acknowledge him. Remus nodded his head in response. "So, who are you rooting for?"
"For Rhi, and my Gryffindor chums, of course," Remus answered smoothly.
Rhiane grinned and looked up at him. She put her hand on his shoulder, and whispered, "Good answer," in his ear. He smiled, and went to sit down in the stands.
"All right. It looks like a storm's brewing so let's finish this quickly," Molly said.
Margaret McNulty cleared her throat. "Okay. Standard Quidditch rules apply. The referee is a non-biased Hufflepuff, Randall Burns. Is that all right with everyone?"
Both teams gave their consent, and the scrimmage went under way. Daniel Jefferson grabbed the Quaffle, and made his way toward the goal --
Until he dropped the Quaffle. Rhiane Richards snatched it from the air and scored. Daniel Jefferson grabbed the Quaffle again, and soared down the field. James and Molly were wide open by the goals, but he took no notice. Kaylee Van Dunn grabbed the ball and darted down to the Gryffindor goals, where she scored.
It went on like this for awhile, until the score was a pitiful 30 to 310. Daniel Jefferson would lose the ball each and every time, regardless if people were near him or not. Once, the Ravenclaws just flew to the sidelines, including their Keeper, to see what would happen. Jefferson dropped the Quaffle.
Finally, Bella had enough and grabbed the Snitch. She then flew gracefully to the ground, tossed Daniel a dirty look, and stormed inside, her head held high. Sirius and Andromada repeated this action, while James chose to hurl a few hexes at him. Molly slapped him, calling him a 'Ball-Hog', and Christopher Jacobson, the Chaser, kicked the back of his knee, causing Daniel to fall.
Remus, meanwhile, rushed over to Rhiane. "You were superb," he said bashfully, his hands behind his back.
"Thanks Remmie," Rhiane said, smiling brightly. "This means I'm still on the team!"
"I'm happy for you," said Remus, looking down at the ground. Rhiane also looked down. "Well…" Remus began.
"Well, I guess…"
"What do you guess, Rhi?"
"I guess I'll be going now. I'll see you at dinner?"
"Of course," Remus said dejectedly. "Bye."
They did not notice two people watching from afar. Andromada Black and Mundungus Fletcher stood on a hill, their arms intertwined. "Ah…" Andromada breathed. "The awkwardness of young love…"
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
It was that time of the year again. It was time for the Annual Evil Villains Convention. Lord Voldemort was one of the highly selected attendees, as was Lord Dkembvare.
The convention was to be held in the United States once again. The two Dark Lords arrived on Thursday morning, where they went straight to the convention. It was just starting when they arrived.
"Hello, everyone! I am Agatha Cross (A/N: Last year's host and my 8th Grade English teacher) and this is Kaye LeFalchier…"
"Bonjour," Kaye interrupted. She had a heavy French accent.
"… and welcome to the 73 Annual Evil Villains Convention! It's nice to see so many familiar faces. But anyway, back to the agenda. For the next few days, we are going to get to know each other fairly well. There are several workshops available for you to perfect your evil ways. And each day is themed! Today is 'Get to Know Your Neighbor Day'. Tomorrow will be 'Dress Like Your Nemesis Day'. I know I'll see everyone participating in that. Now, here to tell you about the workshops, here is my good friend, Dr. Evil."
A balding man walked up the stage, to a room full of boos and hisses. This was the Evil Villains' way of applause. "I am Dr. Evil. And I'm here to tell you about the numerous workshops offered to you. First, there's the 'Evil Words and Phrases'. This workshop is to help you think of evil things to say, and evil trademarks. Another workshop is 'The History of Evil'. Here, you will study Evil's fascinating history, so you too can repeat it. Another workshop is for your people with superpowers (he looked at Lex Luther). It is 'Training Your Powers', and you will perfect your powers, and learn new techniques. For those with magical abilities, there is one for you. There is also one for the common criminal. And there is another one for you if you have superpowers, magical powers, and are a common criminal. There is also a workshop to help you perfect your evil laugh. There's also some other workshops I'm not going to get into. I mean, throw me a friggin' bone here, there's too many workshops! And if you have a problem with that, I will sic Fat Bastard on you! So, you can sign-up at the tables in the back. You are dismissed."
Lord Voldemort and Lord Dkembvare rushed back to the tables where they signed up for 'Evil Words and Phrases' and 'Training Your Powers'. Lord Voldemort also signed up for 'The History of Evil', while Dkembvare signed up for 'Evil (Bwahahahaha) Laughter'.
Afterwards, the Dark Lords proceeded on to get to 'know their neighbor'.
Voldemort noticed a beautiful girl signing up for workshops. She was tall, and had skin the color of coffee. She had a very nice rear view too.
"Hullo," Voldemort said, walking up to her. She was signing up for 'Evil Laughter'. "Do I know you? You look like this girl I saw before… in my dreams."
"Nice try White Boy," the girl said, turning around. "But I'm not interested. You're not man enough for me or any other self-respectable woman here."
"Do you know who you're insulting?" he screeched. "I am the Great Lord Voldemort!"
"Uh… who?" the girl asked, her silver eyes flashing in confusion.
"You must know Lord Voldemort. The most infamous and victorious wizard in the world!"
"Uh… no. Not a clue."
"But… I'm famous!"
The girl turned on her heel. "Sorry, Voldie, but the Magic 8 Ball says 'Try Again Later'. Better yet, don't try again at all." With these words, she walked away.
Voldemort screamed in frustration, before being dragged off by Dkembvare just when he was about to blow apart the Convention Center. They went back to their hotel to rest for the next day.
* * * * * * *
The two Lords rose early the next morning, for their workshops. They had 'Evil Words and Phrases'.
They dressed as their Nemesis. Lord Voldemort once again decorated himself as a Gryffindor. Lord Dkembvare had elected to go as his academic rival from Wizarding School, Baron Von Rector.
They were late arriving because Voldemort caused a scene when he discovered there was no hot chocolate in the hotel. When they got to class, the workshop had already begun.
"All right. So, anyone have any suggestions for evil sayings?" Kaye LeFalchier, the woman in charge, asked. She was dressed as a beautiful woman with shimmering blonde hair.
"How about my favorite. 'I'll get you, my pretty! And your little dog too!' Is that good?" screeched a horrid witch with green skin. She was attempting to dress as a young girl in a blue gingham dress with braided pigtails. The witch's large feet were crammed into ruby red slippers.
"That's all right. But what if the person is ugly and doesn't have a dog?" Kaye questioned her.
"Then you say, 'I'll get you, you ugly psychotic b!tch'."
"All right. Thank you for the clarification. Does anyone else have any other suggestions?"
"What if I said 'Prepare to die, meathead?'. Would they take me seriously?" a butcher (who was dressed as his rival butcher) asked.
"Any others?" Kaye asked pleadingly.
Lord Voldemort raised his hand. "I prefer 'Would you like to die slowly or quickly?' Or 'Would you prefer being chopped into little pieces or blown up?'. And then you would do the opposite of what they asked. And it's always good to rub it in their face that you are going to win, before you kill them."
"That's a little better," Kaye said brightly.
Lord Dkembvare raised his hand. "I have some."
"Well, by all means, go ahead," Kaye said, sending out major flirting waves, happy to find another French person.
"Well, there's 'Some people find death . . . very inspirational. Are you ready to be inspired?'. And then there is always 'I am weary, and your deaths will bring me little joy. Of course, little is better than nothing.' And agreeing with my mentor, Voldemort, it's best to rub it in their face first."
"Very good… Lord Dkembvare. The best yet…" (At this, Voldemort ducked down in his seat, furious to be outdone by his student.
The day progressed on slowly. Voldemort went to the History of Evil (where he learned of the evil things done in the past). Dr. Evil (incognito as Austin Powers) taught it. Voldemort and Dkembvare then went to 'Training Your Powers' together.
"Are you all right, my Lord? You are unusually quiet," Lord Dkembvare said softly, not wanting to be overheard.
"Do I look like I'm all right to you?" Voldemort screeched, throwing his hands in the air.
"You look normal, if that is what you are asking. Your normal, scary self."
"Flattery will get you nowhere, Rolam," Voldemort hissed, choosing to use Dkembvare's real name. He then turned on his heel (A/N: Really funny if you picture him doing this in Gryffindorian attire) and stalked out of the Convention Center.
No one but Dkembvare gave him a second look.
* * * * * * * *
The convention ended a week later. Lord Voldemort and Lord Dkembvare packed up their bags to go on vacation.
Their destination? Las Vegas.
They elected to stay at the Excalibur Hotel, since it most resembled the European castles.
The first night they were there, they hit the casinos. They were going incognito as Texas Oil Tycoons. They had exchanged wizarding money for muggle money while at the convention.
"Come on 7's! Lucky 7!" Lord Voldemort drawled with a Texan accent, as he rolled the dice. They landed on 4 --
But Lord Voldemort used his powers to get his 7.
"Woo-hoo!" he shouted, jumping onto the table. "I got me a 7!"
"What are you doing, L -- Lieutenant Ted?" Dkembvare stuttered.
"Wow. You're a police chief and an oil tycoon?" a tourist said in awe.
"That's right!" Voldemort blurted out.
Suddenly, men dressed in black carrying guns surrounded the table. "Sir, get off the table," one of them said. "Nice n' Easy."
"What is the meaning of this?" Voldemort asked, getting off the table slowly. He had left his wand in his suitcase.
"You are under arrest for Theft, Counterfeit, and Impersonating an Officer."
"I did nothing of the sort!" Lord Voldemort shouted.
A guy close to the table went over and grabbed some money. "Sir," he said. "This isn't American money. This is Monopoly money."
"And Monopoly is made in America…" Lord Voldemort said.
"And you are not a Texan Oil Tycoon or a police officer. We looked up your record. You are a middle-aged British citizen who was declared insane a year ago. You escaped from St. Christopher's Mental Institution, in Florida."
"I don't know what you're talking about!"
"What is this?" an officer shouted, grabbing at Lord Voldemort's coat. He pulled out a Barney stuffed animal.
"What's that doing? How did that get in there?"
"Sir, you are coming with us," the officer said, dropping the Barney doll.
"No!!! Dkembvare, help me! Dkembvare?" Dkembvare had run off when the police came.
"That traitor," Voldemort muttered. "He's probably in Brazil by now."
"Sir…"
"Uh… some people say Death is inspiring! Well, prepare to be inspired!" Voldemort shouted. By now, a large crowd had gathered around the officers.
"Add 'Threatening an Officer of the United States' to the list of offenses," the Head Officer said.
"I'll get you, my pretty! And your little dog too!"
"Sir, I think he's crazy," said one of the tentative people in the back.
"ELLIS! I'LL TELL YOU WHEN HE'S CRAZY!" the Head Officer shouted.
"And I'll get you, you ugly psychotic b!tch! Here's Johnny!" Lord Voldemort then concentrated on his wand with all his might, while the crowds backed up. And he found the wand in his hand. "Aveda Kedavra!" The officer in the back who claimed Voldemort was crazy dropped dead.
"HE'S CRAZY! EVERYONE, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"
Lord Voldemort smiled as the casino emptied out. He then pulled out a quarter and put it in the slot machine. He pulled the lever.
Cherry -- Cherry -- Lemon.
Some days just weren't your day…
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
"I am so glad Minnie finally decided to reinstate the class," Kiana whispered to Lily as they made their way to the History of Magic Classroom.
"Yeah, I guess I am too. I can actually curse Potter without getting in trouble…"
"Oh, is that what we're doing today?"
"Yeah," Lily answered brightly, as they entered the classroom.
The tables were all pushed off to their respective sides of the room. A large group of students were circled around Minnie.
"All right, I guess we're all here," Minnie began. "We can start. I assume you all know what we're doing today -- " she said, glancing at the students' evil grins. "-- and I assume that you know the rules of basic dueling. Now, to partner you up I have brought along the Sorting Hat. If everyone with a surname beginning with letters 'A' through 'M' would please line up over here…" The words had no sooner left her mouth when a perfectly straight line was formed. "…then we can begin."
The students took turns trying on the hat to find out what person was most up to their level. Sirius was paired with Charlie Hunter, Lily was paired with James, Rhiane Richards was paired with Remus (her boyfriend), Michael was paired with Noelle Charrier, Kiana was paired with Alexiandra Marsiella, Bella was paired with Albert Auwelling, a Ravenclaw, and Toria was paired up with Severus Snape. The remaining students were paired among themselves.
"Now, no illegal hexes, curses, or charms are to be used," Minnie announced. Most people groaned at this proclaimation. "Begin on my count. 1…2…3!"
Spells began firing all over the room. Minnie ducked down when many hexes found their way to her. She let the duel continue for twenty minutes, because of the Muting Hex placed on her.
Luckily for Minnie, Professor Hawkins came to see who was making the racket and quickly stopped the small-formed riot. "FINITE INCANTATEUM!" she shouted. Everyone froze, and turned slowly toward her, including Minnie. Hawkins looked amusedly at the students.
James had a good Dancing Hex on him, as well as tentacles. Lily's nose was no longer above her mouth, and she had a Jelly-Legs on her. Michael Brooks sprouted wings, and Noelle Charrier looked unharmed, if you don't count her extra arm. Sirius and Charlie were still duelling. Toria had pink hair, and Severus Snape was lying unconscious on the ground, Toria standing guiltily over him. Remus and Rhiane were covered in splotches of coloured, harmless paint. Bella and Albert were joined at the hip -- literally. Kiana and Alexiandra had stopped dueling long ago -- they opted for a fist fight.
"Now, all of you who need (at this, Professor Hawkins cleared her throat) medical attention, please go to the Hosptial Wing. Everyone else goes to their Common Room. No one will receive Detention, because I'm sure Min -- er… Professor McGonagall (here, she smiled at the still-mute Minnie apologetically) wasn't that clear on the instructions. Now, go!"
At once, there was a dash for the door. Half of the students (including James, Lily, Michael, Noelle, Bella and Albert) ran to the Hospital Wing. The other half ran to their respective Common Rooms.
It was the Not-So-Perfect End to a Not-So-Perfect Day.
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
A/N: Well, this chapter is shorter than all the others. I was pressured into finishing it. I just recovered from strep throat and was NOT in the mood to write. But on the bright side, I just got my Driver's Permit J .
Well, in the next chapter, we'll have the Quidditch Cup. And of course more pranks. (If you have any suggestions, send them to me at Luckie7n13@aol.com!)
Once again, thank to KIM who beta-ed this for me. I owe you!!!
Well, I still have to write my English Paper, so I'm out of here. I'm not sure when the next post will be, but it will hopefully be before March 14. Happy Spring Break to everyone who has it coming up! Adios amigos y amigas!!!
~Noelle