Chapter 7

THREE MONTHS LATER

"Well, now. Will you look at that," Bulma mused as she and Gohan peered through the bubble glass of the training room. Goku was inside wrestling with both Goten and Trunks, letting them tackle him, then throwing them off. The little boys were so beside themselves with giggles that they were literally tripping over their own feet. And of course Goku's laughing face was no less fun to watch.

"That right there is the dad I knew growing up," Gohan said wistfully. "More fun to play with than any child my age."

"Yeah. He never did grow out of that 'kid' stage," Bulma agreed. "Just be grateful that the dragon didn't have a sense of humor with that wish."

Gohan snorted. "No kidding. 'Please give Goku back his brain damage' wasn't the safest way to put it," he said as he shook his head at Krillin's phrasing. "But at least it worked out okay."

Bulma smiled agreement, and took special note of the happiness in Gohan's eyes. "He's pulled out of it," she said, and then her voice grew quiet. "Except for an occasional 'down' moment over guilt that Vegeta left, he's pretty much like this all the time," she conceded. "He has spent almost every day with Trunks; training, goofing around, eating… At first I thought he was doing it out of obligation, but Goku can't fake happiness. And he's happy around my son…" she chuckled as little Goten accidentally landed a knee in Goku's crotch, leaving the grown man clutching at his stomach, curled up on the floor.

Gohan blew his breath out in a long whistle. "I bet THAT hurt," he said, and then laughed outright as Trunks took advantage of Goku's fallen status and barreled into him, throwing the Saiyan several feet back. "I think that Trunks has given dad purpose again, which is what he was missing when he came back to find that Piccolo had taken his place."

"Well, at least he can bond with Goten this way," she said.

"Yeah. And I think it means a lot to him even though Goten will never call him 'father'."

"Piccolo has earned that title with the boy."

"Yes, he has."

Bulma was amazed at how open-minded Gohan was about it all. No bitterness, no reservations. He loved everyone equally, each taking a special place in his heart. "Your 'life-experience' has matured you beyond your age, Gohan," she said.

He smiled and looked at his feet. "Yeah. I imagine so."

And yet it hasn't eroded away your innocence,she thought. Just like your father. Her mind took an unexpected turn towards Goku, complete with the weird longings and urges she'd been battling since that day they'd kissed. She'd mulled it over and over in her mind, and her conclusion was that the only difference between 'loving' and being 'in love' was a physical chemistry.

She loved Goku fiercely. Always had. And now that the element of intimacy was introduced, every part of her seemed to ache for him. She hid it well, she thought, considering how strong it was. After all, she was logical, and love was not. Acting on impulses hadn't always been such a good idea in the past. This time around she was going to think it through carefully, especially since it involved the dearest friend she'd ever made - and especially since he hadn't shown any signs really of feeling the same way.

She shook herself. Time to change subjects… "So Piccolo really doesn't mind letting Goku have Goten once a week?"

Gohan snorted. "Are you kidding? I think it makes him feel less remorse over everything that happened. And besides, it gives me a chance to dodge my homework and come spend time with dad, myself."

"Hmm. I can see that," she said. "Well, who knows? Perhaps it won't be much longer before Goku is comfortable enough to come visit you guys at your home, with Piccolo and Chi Chi."

Gohan frowned speculation at her. "Maybe eventually, but I think it depends on if he ever lets himself fall in love again; someone who'll fill the void in his heart that mom left. Until then, I don't know that it'll stop hurting him to see them together, ya know?"

Without warning, Bulma felt blood rush to her face. And it didn't help any when she turned her face to hide it from Gohan, only to see Goku throwing her one of his knee-buckling smiles through the circular window.

"Well, I, uh…" she took a deep breath, and turned around. "I've got to go finish something."

"Ok. See ya later, Bulma," Gohan waved. She threw her hand over her shoulder as she walked away, wondering how much longer she was going to be able to keep her feelings for Goku a secret.

.

That night, Bulma found herself on her balcony, staring up at the stars. Vegeta had left almost immediately after he was healed, something that hadn't surprised Bulma at all after seeing what Kakkarot had done to him. Memories of that sleepless night replayed themselves in her mind with generous detail.

Goku had brought Piccolo back first, and the sight of his gimped body nearly made her throw up. Fortunately, Dende was right there to heal the namek enough so he could regenerate the four limbs that had been severed off. Even after the healing, Gohan still had to carry Piccolo back, as he was in no shape to do anything, himself.

Then Goku materialized with Vegeta's limp body in his arms. Initially, Bulma thought the prince was unconscious by the way he dangled lifelessly across Goku's massive forearms. But then she saw his face. His eyes were clenched tightly, and wet lines trailed through the sand on his cheeks - a sign that he'd been crying. His mouth was pulled down by a teeth-gritting frown, and for the first time since she met him, Vegeta had no biting remark, or angry retort for anyone there. He was, quite simply, defeated. And it was the most horrible thing in the world to see.

She'd realized then that Kakkarot had paralyzed him - a fate worse than death for her proud man, and whatever things the evil Saiyan had said to the prince at the moment of victory did more damage to Vegeta's spirit than any wound could have done to his body.

Even when he was healed, he wouldn't look at her, and it didn't help any that Goku was apologizing profusely, further rubbing it in. Vegeta took off immediately with the same closed, pained expression that he'd arrived with and that's when Bulma comprehended that the injury to his soul might never be repaired.

She arrived home to find that her father had been bullied into making last-minute preparations on a spaceship for Vegeta, and she arrived to the site just in time to see him walking up its plank.

Bulma winced as their last conversation replayed in her mind.

"Vegeta!"

He paused mid-step, but didn't turn around.

"Where are you going?"

A brief silence followed until he broke it, his voice little more than a whisper. "I don't know."

"When will you be back?" she asked frantically, as if her questions could delay the inevitable.

He turned his head over his shoulder, but still couldn't make eye contact. "Maybe never."

"You can't!" she cried. "You can't just abandon us like that. What about me? And Trunks?"

"I don't expect you to understand."

Tears sprang to her eyes, of anger, hurt, exhaustion. "Don't let this beat you, Vegeta-"

"It already has!" he turned and faced her then, his face desperate and strained. "You can't change my nature, Bulma. I've been defeated… Mocked. I have no place on this planet."

"You're delusional!"

"I'm Saiyan," he replied solemnly. "I'm…I'm sorry." With that he turned and went up into the ship. She ran to catch him only to have the door close in her face. With tears streaming down her cheeks she shook her fist at the igniting ship.

"Don't expect me to wait around for you to come back, you hear!" She sobbed, trying to mask her sadness with anger. "Because I won't, Vegeta!" She cupped her hands to her mouth. "I WON'T!"

In answer, the space capsule threw her back as it blasted off, and Bulma lay there for a long time afterwards, with her face in her hands, crying…

Sure their relationship had been dysfunctional and tumultuous, but it didn't make his departure any less painful. And now, three months later, she felt oddly detached. Distant. As if Vegeta were nothing more than a chapter in her life. Bulma sighed heavily.

"Thinking about Vegeta again?"

Bulma gasped and turned to see Goku standing behind her. He had on a snug white T-shirt and worn jeans, and looking down at his feet she saw that they were bare. Well, no wonder I didn't hear him approach…

She smiled sadly and nodded. He walked up beside her, put his hands on the railing and joined her in looking at the sky. His face was somber, and it again amazed her how easily he could switch gears when the occasion called for it.

"Do you think he'll ever come back, Goku?"

The moonlight fell on his face, silvering his profile as he gazed pensively up towards the heavens. Several seconds passed, and his visage shifted through a handful of emotions, as though reliving Vegeta's defeat at his hands. He finally shook his head. "No. I don't."

Bulma pursed her lips, and looked down at her feet. She could feel him looking at her then, his heavy gaze weighing down her shoulders. She knew what was coming before he said it.

"I'm so sorry, Bulma," he said, his sincerity almost palpable.

She turned to face him, and pegged him with a glare. "I don't want you getting all evil on me again, Goku, so enough with the sorrows." At his continued pained expression, she sighed and placed her hands on her hips. "I know you're sorry, but this happened for a reason. Vegeta had a lot of baggage, and he was unstable. Anything could have triggered his leaving." The last bit wasn't wholly true, and she knew that he knew it. But Goku had done so well at pulling out the depression that she wasn't about to let him relapse. Especially over something she had mixed feelings on.

"Besides," she continued, her gaze softening, "Your being here has made his leaving not so painful." She smiled. "Especially with Trunks. I've seen more smiles on that boy in the last two months than the whole five years when Vegeta was around."

Her words eased the remorse in his face. "He's a great kid, Bulma."

"Yes he is," she confirmed as she stared back up at the sky.

"And he has a great mom."

The intensity of his last words made her look at him again. Goku's coal-black hair was casting shadows over his face, but it didn't hide the glistening sincerity in his penetrating eyes. She suddenly got butterflies, but she couldn't pull away from his gaze.

Goku stepped towards her and rested his hands lightly on her arms. The gesture was uncharacteristically intimate, and it sent her heart fluttering.

"Bulma, thank you. For everything," his hand raised and he traced her jaw line with his fingers. "You've healed me in so many ways…"

"Goku, I…" Bulma found that she had a really difficult time catching her breath, as it was coming and going so quickly. And then suddenly she recognized what was undermining her ability to stay emotionally aloof. It was the expression on his face. It wasn't 'THE' look that Piccolo gave Chi Chi on their wedding day, but it was damn close. Suddenly, her next conclusion trickled off her tongue before she could stop it.

"You love me…"

Goku's eyes widened immediately, and his visage opened in honest surprise. Several awkward seconds passed as Bulma mentally thwacked herself for the ludicrous assumption. She was about to go crawl in a hole somewhere, but then a hesitant smile lifted the corners of Goku's mouth. He bit his lower lip, and even through the shadows she could see the heat in his face. Without taking his eyes off her, he nodded mutely.

"Oh…" Bulma imagined she would have said something witty right then, had her heart not been slamming the breath from her lungs. So, instead, she placed her shaky hands on his chest. His body was incredibly warm, and he only encouraged her audacity by tickling his fingers down her waist. She looked up to his face, and he tilted his head, locking her in his stare. She saw that his lids were heavy, but his eyes were sparkling with the all excitement of anticipation.

Accepting the fact that this would change everything, Bulma curled her hand up around his neck, and slid the other one under his arm, pulling him down until their lips touched. The sensation was overwhelming. They kissed once, and pulled back. They kissed twice, and pulled back. Then he leaned down a third time, and this time the kiss bypassed all the subtleties as he crushed her to him.

Amidst the passion and intimacy of the arduous embrace, she felt her soul-hunger align with physical desire in an unprecedented manner. It eliminated any remaining doubt that the 'Mr. Right' Bulma had dreamed about her entire life, had been right there with her, all along.

Continued in Goten and Marron...