A.N – Hope you like this, I wanted to put some mild slashy stuff into this chapter, but I am hopeless at writing it!

* * *

Kochanski was in the drive room, working.

'Kristine…' It was the Captain.

'Sir?'

'Would you mind coming into my office to my office for a moment?'

Kochanski followed Captain Hollister into his office and sat down.

'I've being meaning to talk to you for a while now…would you like some coffee?'

'No thanks.'

Hollister went straight to the point. 'It's about Rimmer.'

'Oh.'

'So you two are going out together?'

'Yes.'

'Oh…you sure you wouldn't like some coffee?'

'Are you trying to tell me something?'

'Yes…and no.'

'What's that supposed to mean?'

'Well…as the Captain I can't tell you who to date. But as a friend – look, you know Rimmer isn't that popular.'

'So?'

'Well…' Hollister was looking uncomfortable. 'It won't help your career, you know that. And the other day, at dinner, some of the guys were a bit surprised that someone like you was going out with…Rimmer.'

Kochanski stood up, opened her mouth to say something and just left.

* * *

'Pass me a 14B Lister.'

Silence.

'Pass me a 14B.'

No reply.

'Fine then.' Rimmer pushed past Lister and got a 14B. He then started to unblock the machine, aware of Lister's eyes staring at him.

'Get over it Lister.'

Silence.

'You know why she broke up with you.'

Silence.

'Because I'm going places. I'm an officer now! I told you I'd be up the ziggurat, lickety-split.'

'If you're an officer Rimmer, then why are you still un-blocking the chicken soup machine?'

Rimmer was about to reply but Peterson came running down the corridor.

'Hey! Lister! I am sooooo hungry.' He looked at Rimmer. 'I could just do with some Octopus testicles…mmmmm!'

He ran off before Rimmer could remind him for the millionth time that he was an officer now and 'stupid remarks' like that could get him into deep trouble.

Smeg knows how Peterson knew about the officer's club. But it was all round the ship. That, and the other piece of gossip - that he and Kochanski were going out together. Everyone was acting so weird around them both.

Todhunter had 'accidentally' spilt coffee on Rimmer's new uniform yesterday. Everywhere he went people made stupid remarks or just ignored him. Today was worse than usual he decided, before he turned round and realised that Lister had buggered off.

* * *

Rimmer couldn't find Kochanski anywhere. He'd checked the drive room, his quarters, her quarters, the officer's club, and the bar – everywhere.

He wandered into his quarters tired from running round since lunch.

'Arnold?'

Kochanski was sitting on the top bunk with her legs crossed.

'Hi.' He was happy he had found her, he needed to talk to her.

'You would not believe the day I've had.' She jumped down from the bunk and walked over to him.

'Why, what happened?'

'Everyone was mean to me, it's been happening for ages, but today Hollister talked to me.'

'And?'

'He said if I went out with you it could…he said it wasn't good for my career.'

'What?'

'Well…you know.'

'No I don't know.' Rimmer was beginning to get angry, what did Hollister have to go sticking his nose in for?

'All the officers know about the exams and things, they're a bit annoyed you passed. And they're angry that we're going out together.'

'Why, why would they be angry? Okay, you're beautiful, sweet, intelligent, perfect, gorgeous…okay – I can see why they'd be annoyed, but we don't have to listen to them do we?'

Kochanski put her arms around Rimmer, 'I suppose not, but it does make things hard.'

Rimmer went over to his locker and pulled out some flowers. He handed them to Kochanski.

'Aaah! What are they for?'

'Our two week anniversary.'

'You are so sweet! And they're my favourite.'

' It's two weeks to the day that I found you sitting in my shower – and we kissed.'

'And what time did we first have sex?'

Rimmer laughed and pretended to be surprised as he glanced at his watch…'Oh, now actually!'

Kochanski smiled her 'pinball' smile. 'Then don't you think we should celebrate it?'

* * *

'Hey buddy!' It was 10 o'clock in the morning and already Cat had had sex with someone. He loved being on Red Dwarf with all the crew again.

Lister turned over in bed.

'Hey! Monkey!'

Lister groaned. 'What do you want?'

'Food.'

'Go to the smegging vending machines.'

'Oh, okay. Hey – where's goalpost head?'

'He's not a hologram, that was the other Rimmer.'

'He's still a smeghead.' Cat admired his reflection in the mirror.

'True. I wish he *were* dead though. He's probably with Krissy.'

'In her quarters?' Cat knew exactly how to make things worse.

'Probably.'

'Having sex?'

'Smeg off Cat.'

'Okay – I'll go see if Officer Bud-Babe has finished having sex.' Cat said, casually. 'Then I'll see if she wants to have sex with me!'

Lister chucked a pillow at the Cat, who dodged it. 'Too slow! Too slow monkey!'

* * *

Both Kochanski and Rimmer had a day off. Rimmer had meticulously planned it right down to the last detail.

'Okay – If we get up at 8, then we can have sex 'till 9. Then we have breakfast at 9.28 – 9.40. Followed by more sex. Then we see a film – then we have lunch. Then we have more sex, then we go shopping, then more sex, then I take you out for dinner, and hopefully some more sex. Okay?'

'That's fine Arnold – but you didn't have to draw up a timetable!'

They both had fun that day – even if they didn't stick to the timetable.

But when Rimmer came to pick up Kochanski for their meal – they met Lister.

'Oh! It's you is it, off on your date- to the officer's club.' Lister was obviously very drunk.

'Yes actually we are Lister. See you later.'

'Dave, you're drunk.' Kochanski could smell the beer on his breath.

'I'm not.' Lister nearly fell over.

'Yes you are. You're plastered.'

'I am not pished!'

Rimmer took Kochanski's arm and moved towards the stairs. 'Come on, we're going to be late.'

Lister laughed. 'Late for your officer chums?' Rimmer completely missed the sarcasm.

'Yes. Now if you'll excuse us…'

Lister walked over to Kochanski, 'Why are you going out with him? Him of all people. Come on.' He took her hand. 'We can make it work.'

'No we can't. Go away Lister.' Kochanski pushed him back.

Lister shook his head in disbelief. 'After all we've gone through together, is that all I get? 'Smeg off Lister?' Thanks…' He started drunkenly singing a love song he had written for her. And then he pushed her – and as she backed away she fell down the stairs behind her.

Looking back on it, Rimmer could remember every detail. Him watching her fall – helpless. Lister laughing – drunk and not realising what was happening. Her – screaming.

But the thing Rimmer remembered most vividly, was her lifeless body. Lying there on the floor – a pool of dark red blood circling her head like a halo.