Chapter Three
Pot. Kettle. Black.
Spike looked at the burnt out wreck of what had once been Caritas with dismay. He kicked absently at a piece of charred wood before moving to intercept another vampire that had been lurking about, watching him.
"What happened to the place?" Spike jabbed a thumb in the direction of the wreckage.
"Humans," the other vampire rolled his eyes, "twice."
"Great," Spike muttered as he released his hold on the other vampire, shoving him backwards as he did so. "Just great!" He stalked off angrily, leaving a very confused vampire in his wake. He'd been hoping to deal with Angel on neutral ground, since he rather liked his head attached to his body, thank you very much. Now it looked like he'd have to go find wherever the poof was staying.
"What, was he a big karaoke fan or something?" The vampire Spike had questioned wondered aloud, watching the platinum-bleached vampire's quickly retreating form.
A good spot of violence and several substantial bribes later, Spike found himself standing in front of the imposing structure that was the Hyperion Hotel, current base of operations for Angel Investigations.
"Well, here goes nothing," he said, bursting through the doors.
"Hello?" A shaky female voice called out. Spike couldn't see who was speaking at first, so he continued forward in the general direction that he'd heard the voice from. Slowly, a brown-haired young woman poked her head up from behind the front desk. She was watching him with caution, and he noticed that she was armed with both a cross and a squirt gun filled with holy water.
"Relax, pet, you won't need those," he said, reaching over and plucking both items easily from her hands with a smirk. The bandages around his own kept the cross from burning him, but it still made him nervous. He tossed it on the counter, out of the girl's reach. "I'm of the fangless variety."
"So, not a vampire, then?" she asked hesitantly.
"I never said that," Spike reached over the counter and pinched the girl's arm, grimacing in pain as the chip went off. He looked up to see her rubbing the spot he'd pinched and staring at him with a questioning expression.
"I'm every bit a vampire, love. I just can't harm humans on account of the headsplitting pain I get when I try."
"Oh," she said softly. "Well, I guess if you can't do anything to hurt me, it's okay for you to stay here. Were you looking for anyone? Because I'm the only one here and I don't know when anyone else will be back," she paused, taking a breath. "Did you want to talk to Angel or something? Does he know you're here? Oh, dear. I'm rambling again. Why didn't you tell me I was rambling?"
Spike just cocked his head at her, a slightly bemused expression on his face.
"Oh! You don't even know my name, how rude of me. I'm Fred," she offered a hand to the vampire.
"Spike." The vampire replied, taking the hand hesitantly and shaking it.
The two chatted amiably for the next few hours while they waited. Spike decided he rather liked the slightly loopy young woman. She reminded him of Willow- pre-magic-binge anyway- in a way. He wasn't in the least bit put off by her tendency to ramble, as spending a century with a much more insane (and violent) vampiress had enabled him to accept and deal with seemingly odd personalities rather easily.
Fred was relating a tale involving Angel and a mucous demon to him when the very same vampire arrived, closely followed by the rest of the Angel Investigations crew.
"Fred!" Cordelia yelped in surprise, "that's Spike! He's a vampire, get away from him!". When she didn't move, Cordelia turned to Angel and hissed, "do something!"
Angel growled and launched himself at the younger vampire, tackling him to the ground.
"Hey!" Fred shouted indignantly, "we were having a conversation here, you know."
"He's a vampire," Wesley reiterated unnecessarily. Fred just rolled her eyes.
"You think I didn't know that? He won't hurt me, or anyone else for that matter," she glanced over to where the two vampires were rolling around on the floor, fighting. "Except Angel, apparently."
Angel managed to gain the upper hand for the moment, and was attempting to keep Spike pinned to the floor.
"Some help, please?" He requested as Spike continued to struggle beneath him. Gunn moved over quickly and held down his arms. Spike continued to attempt to lash out at his Grandsire, apparently not noticing the fact that four hands were holding him down now. Spike's fist connected with Gunn's face, and the vampire let out a howl of surprised pain.
"What the?" Gunn exclaimed, backing away in shock. "I always knew I had a hard head, but that's kinda strange…"
Fred walked over to Angel and kicked him in the shins, causing the souled vampire to lose his grip.
"I said he wouldn't hurt anyone, Angel."
Reluctantly, Angel let his Grandchilde stand up. The blonde scrambled to his feet, glaring at Angel.
"Care to explain what just went on?"
Spike scowled.
"I've got a chip in my head that prevents me from hurting humans. So your merry little band is safe from me, Angelus."
"And you're here, why?"
"The usual. To make your life a living hell," Spike grinned, then sobered quickly. "Actually, I need…"
He was cut off by the sound of a baby's cry coming over the monitor that stood on the counter. Angel glared at Spike.
"Now look what you did, you woke the baby."
"Baby?" Spike raised an eyebrow, "I didn't even know there was a soddin' baby here!" he shouted after Angel, who was heading upstairs.
A minute later, he came back down the stairs, smiling baby in his arms. Spike moved to take a closer look, and Angel barely managed to keep himself from instinctively holding his son away from him.
"Cute rugrat. So who're the parents? I thought you kids were detectives, not the Babysitters Club."
"He's mine," Angel practically growled.
"What'd you do, turn human for a day and knock up some chit?" As he was still staring at the baby with a somewhat entranced expression, he missed Angel's flinch at his words.
"Darla's the mother."
"Darla's a vampire. You're a vampire," Spike pointed out unnecessarily.
"I noticed," Angel replied dryly.
"So where is she, then?"
"Dead." Angel said shortly.
"Again, huh?" Seeing Angel's curt nod, Spike wisely decided not to (for once) aggravate Angel by pursuing the matter any further. "So what's bite- size's name?" he asked, switching tracks.
"Connor."
There were a few moments of silence as Spike looked first at the baby, then at Angel, then back at the baby. A thought struck him suddenly, and he snickered.
"So, does that make him my nephew or my uncle?"
Angel frowned thoughtfully, the question having never actually occurred to him. Of course, Spike being involved in his son's life at all had never occurred to him either.
"Both, I suppose. So, why are you here? Who knows, maybe we can help you," Angel wondered why he was even offering to help his Grandchilde. After all, the last time they'd been in the same room together Spike had been watching as Angel was tortured.
Meanwhile, Spike was having an inner debate about whether or not to tell Angel about what had happened to him back in Sunnydale.
-He'll understand what I'm going through. He'll laugh and refuse to help me as revenge. He knows what it feels like, he wouldn't do that. Why would he care?-
Angel looked at Spike, who was staring at him with a contemplative expression, and for the first time noticed how truly thin he was. It couldn't have been the fact that he was feeding from blood bags instead of humans, Angel himself was evidence of the fact that you could survive perfectly fine on the vampiric bagged diet.
"I, I, think I have a soul," Spike finally blurted.
There was silence, and then, a shout of surprised laughter from both Cordelia and Angel, the only two who knew what kind of person- vampire- Spike had been. Everyone else just looked confused.
"Why is that so funny?" he spat out. "Why is it that you can have a soul, and everyone's fine and dandy with it, but if I have one, it's a cause for a joke?"
Angel stopped laughing. Spike did have a point. But Cordelia just smirked.
"Angel is good, you're not," she said, although she didn't sound completely sure.
Spike resisted the urge to bang his head against the wall.
"And I suppose he was a bloody saint before he went and took a bite out of the wrong girl?" he rolled his eyes.
"All right, Spike. Fine. You've made your point. What do you want me to do?" Angel said, effectively cutting off Cordelia's response.
"Look, Peaches, can we take this some place a little more private? I don't fancy an audience while I tell you my little tale here."
"Fine, we'll go up to my room," he moved towards the stairs, Spike on his heels. "And *don't* call me Peaches."
Pot. Kettle. Black.
Spike looked at the burnt out wreck of what had once been Caritas with dismay. He kicked absently at a piece of charred wood before moving to intercept another vampire that had been lurking about, watching him.
"What happened to the place?" Spike jabbed a thumb in the direction of the wreckage.
"Humans," the other vampire rolled his eyes, "twice."
"Great," Spike muttered as he released his hold on the other vampire, shoving him backwards as he did so. "Just great!" He stalked off angrily, leaving a very confused vampire in his wake. He'd been hoping to deal with Angel on neutral ground, since he rather liked his head attached to his body, thank you very much. Now it looked like he'd have to go find wherever the poof was staying.
"What, was he a big karaoke fan or something?" The vampire Spike had questioned wondered aloud, watching the platinum-bleached vampire's quickly retreating form.
A good spot of violence and several substantial bribes later, Spike found himself standing in front of the imposing structure that was the Hyperion Hotel, current base of operations for Angel Investigations.
"Well, here goes nothing," he said, bursting through the doors.
"Hello?" A shaky female voice called out. Spike couldn't see who was speaking at first, so he continued forward in the general direction that he'd heard the voice from. Slowly, a brown-haired young woman poked her head up from behind the front desk. She was watching him with caution, and he noticed that she was armed with both a cross and a squirt gun filled with holy water.
"Relax, pet, you won't need those," he said, reaching over and plucking both items easily from her hands with a smirk. The bandages around his own kept the cross from burning him, but it still made him nervous. He tossed it on the counter, out of the girl's reach. "I'm of the fangless variety."
"So, not a vampire, then?" she asked hesitantly.
"I never said that," Spike reached over the counter and pinched the girl's arm, grimacing in pain as the chip went off. He looked up to see her rubbing the spot he'd pinched and staring at him with a questioning expression.
"I'm every bit a vampire, love. I just can't harm humans on account of the headsplitting pain I get when I try."
"Oh," she said softly. "Well, I guess if you can't do anything to hurt me, it's okay for you to stay here. Were you looking for anyone? Because I'm the only one here and I don't know when anyone else will be back," she paused, taking a breath. "Did you want to talk to Angel or something? Does he know you're here? Oh, dear. I'm rambling again. Why didn't you tell me I was rambling?"
Spike just cocked his head at her, a slightly bemused expression on his face.
"Oh! You don't even know my name, how rude of me. I'm Fred," she offered a hand to the vampire.
"Spike." The vampire replied, taking the hand hesitantly and shaking it.
The two chatted amiably for the next few hours while they waited. Spike decided he rather liked the slightly loopy young woman. She reminded him of Willow- pre-magic-binge anyway- in a way. He wasn't in the least bit put off by her tendency to ramble, as spending a century with a much more insane (and violent) vampiress had enabled him to accept and deal with seemingly odd personalities rather easily.
Fred was relating a tale involving Angel and a mucous demon to him when the very same vampire arrived, closely followed by the rest of the Angel Investigations crew.
"Fred!" Cordelia yelped in surprise, "that's Spike! He's a vampire, get away from him!". When she didn't move, Cordelia turned to Angel and hissed, "do something!"
Angel growled and launched himself at the younger vampire, tackling him to the ground.
"Hey!" Fred shouted indignantly, "we were having a conversation here, you know."
"He's a vampire," Wesley reiterated unnecessarily. Fred just rolled her eyes.
"You think I didn't know that? He won't hurt me, or anyone else for that matter," she glanced over to where the two vampires were rolling around on the floor, fighting. "Except Angel, apparently."
Angel managed to gain the upper hand for the moment, and was attempting to keep Spike pinned to the floor.
"Some help, please?" He requested as Spike continued to struggle beneath him. Gunn moved over quickly and held down his arms. Spike continued to attempt to lash out at his Grandsire, apparently not noticing the fact that four hands were holding him down now. Spike's fist connected with Gunn's face, and the vampire let out a howl of surprised pain.
"What the?" Gunn exclaimed, backing away in shock. "I always knew I had a hard head, but that's kinda strange…"
Fred walked over to Angel and kicked him in the shins, causing the souled vampire to lose his grip.
"I said he wouldn't hurt anyone, Angel."
Reluctantly, Angel let his Grandchilde stand up. The blonde scrambled to his feet, glaring at Angel.
"Care to explain what just went on?"
Spike scowled.
"I've got a chip in my head that prevents me from hurting humans. So your merry little band is safe from me, Angelus."
"And you're here, why?"
"The usual. To make your life a living hell," Spike grinned, then sobered quickly. "Actually, I need…"
He was cut off by the sound of a baby's cry coming over the monitor that stood on the counter. Angel glared at Spike.
"Now look what you did, you woke the baby."
"Baby?" Spike raised an eyebrow, "I didn't even know there was a soddin' baby here!" he shouted after Angel, who was heading upstairs.
A minute later, he came back down the stairs, smiling baby in his arms. Spike moved to take a closer look, and Angel barely managed to keep himself from instinctively holding his son away from him.
"Cute rugrat. So who're the parents? I thought you kids were detectives, not the Babysitters Club."
"He's mine," Angel practically growled.
"What'd you do, turn human for a day and knock up some chit?" As he was still staring at the baby with a somewhat entranced expression, he missed Angel's flinch at his words.
"Darla's the mother."
"Darla's a vampire. You're a vampire," Spike pointed out unnecessarily.
"I noticed," Angel replied dryly.
"So where is she, then?"
"Dead." Angel said shortly.
"Again, huh?" Seeing Angel's curt nod, Spike wisely decided not to (for once) aggravate Angel by pursuing the matter any further. "So what's bite- size's name?" he asked, switching tracks.
"Connor."
There were a few moments of silence as Spike looked first at the baby, then at Angel, then back at the baby. A thought struck him suddenly, and he snickered.
"So, does that make him my nephew or my uncle?"
Angel frowned thoughtfully, the question having never actually occurred to him. Of course, Spike being involved in his son's life at all had never occurred to him either.
"Both, I suppose. So, why are you here? Who knows, maybe we can help you," Angel wondered why he was even offering to help his Grandchilde. After all, the last time they'd been in the same room together Spike had been watching as Angel was tortured.
Meanwhile, Spike was having an inner debate about whether or not to tell Angel about what had happened to him back in Sunnydale.
-He'll understand what I'm going through. He'll laugh and refuse to help me as revenge. He knows what it feels like, he wouldn't do that. Why would he care?-
Angel looked at Spike, who was staring at him with a contemplative expression, and for the first time noticed how truly thin he was. It couldn't have been the fact that he was feeding from blood bags instead of humans, Angel himself was evidence of the fact that you could survive perfectly fine on the vampiric bagged diet.
"I, I, think I have a soul," Spike finally blurted.
There was silence, and then, a shout of surprised laughter from both Cordelia and Angel, the only two who knew what kind of person- vampire- Spike had been. Everyone else just looked confused.
"Why is that so funny?" he spat out. "Why is it that you can have a soul, and everyone's fine and dandy with it, but if I have one, it's a cause for a joke?"
Angel stopped laughing. Spike did have a point. But Cordelia just smirked.
"Angel is good, you're not," she said, although she didn't sound completely sure.
Spike resisted the urge to bang his head against the wall.
"And I suppose he was a bloody saint before he went and took a bite out of the wrong girl?" he rolled his eyes.
"All right, Spike. Fine. You've made your point. What do you want me to do?" Angel said, effectively cutting off Cordelia's response.
"Look, Peaches, can we take this some place a little more private? I don't fancy an audience while I tell you my little tale here."
"Fine, we'll go up to my room," he moved towards the stairs, Spike on his heels. "And *don't* call me Peaches."