CHAPTER FOUR-THE WITCH
Several Saturday nights came and went that had Richard and Caroline playing games. Not exactly the type of games that Caroline had in mind but they had to start somewhere.
In the past, Richard had been self-conscious and nervous as soon as their business relationship slipped over into the realm of a social situation. Gradually he was beginning to loosen up around her, relaxing on the floor and even chuckling a little. He entertained her with stories about his parents that she knew had been exaggerated for a little sympathy. The change in his features amazed her the most. He seemed younger and more light-hearted than she had ever noticed before.
Things were going great. Now, if she had been thinking negatively like Richard, she would have suspected that everything was going a little TOO good. Because that's when bad things happen. But being Caroline, she could only revel in the fact that they were getting closer as friends and any minute, they would be dating and even intimate. Just the thought of this caused her to blush. Yeah, she had plans for them-big plans.
This Friday afternoon seemed like any other. The day was winding down and work was nearly finished. Annie danced through the room, heading for the refrigerator.
"Caroline, do you have anything decent to drink? I'm dying of thirst." She griped her hands around her neck and delivered the last line melodramatically. She was practicing for a bit part in a new off-off-Broadway play.
Richard barely raised his eyes. "Annie, can't you buy your own drinks? Aren't you embarrassed by how many times you bum food off Caroline? Have you no pride?"
"I could ask you the very same questions, Poindexter."
"I don't think you can. I rarely eat anything here."
Annie slowly spun her way over to the desk, draping herself across it. "Really? What about every Saturday night?"
Caroline intercepted at this point.
"Annie, that's different. I've invited Richard. He's a guest." Caroline turned to Richard. "I found this great recipe for Chinese pork. Are you brave enough to try it Saturday night?"
"No thanks, Caroline, I have a date."
Richard never noticed the sudden stillness in the apartment because he calmly kept coloring. He never noticed the exchanges glances between Annie and Caroline. And he never noticed Caroline's pale face and shaking hands.
Caroline could feel her lunch rise from the pit of her stomach and lodge somewhere in her esophagus. The earlier happiness of knowing it was Friday and soon to be Saturday, was gone. She tried to concentrate on the cartoon in front of her. A minute ago, it seemed like a hilarious commentary on her life. Now, it just seemed silly and immature.
Annie was the first to react.
"A date?" She asked the question as if Richard had just announced that he had a contagious disease.
"Yes, a date. I know that's hard for you two to believe, but I actually have a date. A REAL date."
"A real date?" Annie repeated it after him.
"Annie, you're the last person I need to explain the concept of a date. It's when you spend time with another person that you're attracted to. Sometimes, things develop and it might lead to other things. I know it works backwards for you so maybe that's what's confusing you."
Richard and Annie were facing off once again and were not paying attention to Caroline. He had slowly recited the lines as if Annie was lacking in the mental department. He was definitely in a good mood and it showed. He grinned at the angry look on Annie's face and walked to the door.
"But wait, Richard. When, where, how...did you meet this woman?" Caroline felt a sudden desperation. Maybe she could leap over to the door and lock it and, and-she gave up. She couldn't hold the guy hostage even if she wanted to. She wondered if he could read the desperation in her eyes.
"I was at an art museum Sunday. We were admiring the same painting. We started talking and I took your advice, Caroline, and just took a chance. You remember what you said last Saturday? Well, I just stepped out and did it. It wasn't as hard as I remembered it. This dating stuff is a piece of cake." He grabbed his ever-present brown coat and opened the door. "I honestly don't understand what you two complain about. See you Monday, Caroline."
"Yeah, see you Monday." She echoed faintly after him. She looked down at the work on her desk. She had made deep x's across most of the cartoon and hadn't even remembered doing it.
Annie just had to comment. "Well, of all the ungrateful, little-"
"Annie, please. It's okay. He doesn't owe me anything. He thinks of us as just friends. That's all, just friends." She drew more vicious marks across the cartoon then held it up to admire her work. Since she couldn't take her aggression out on Richard, this would have to do. It was safer anyway.
"I could have his date rubbed out." Annie's eyes lit up. "Or better yet, I could have Richard rubbed out. He deserves it for hurting you."
"You actually know a hit man, Annie?"
"Well, not actually KNOW him, but he's a friend of a friend of a friend. You know."
"He doesn't even realize he's hurt me, Annie. After all, I'm not a REAL date. I guess that makes me a faux date, a pretend date, a phony-"
Annie held up her hand in Caroline's face. "Okay, Caroline, I get the point. You can stop now." She looked over at the clock. "Omigod, I have rehearsal and I'm late. See ya." She ran for the door, flinging 'don't get depressed over the moron' over her shoulder.
"Easy for you to say, Annie. You're not in love with him." Caroline recited to the now empty room.
* * * * * * * *
"Well, Salty, it's Saturday night. What shall we do for fun?"
Salty blinked her already descending eyelids once, and then laid her head down to sleep. Her owner was on her own.
Caroline stared down at her sleeping cat. "Not that I blame you, Salty, after all, I'm not a real date, just a temporary reprieve from loneliness, a stand-in, a date imposter. Maybe I'm the moron." She stepped back a couple of paces. "And I'm talking to my cat. I gotta get out of here."
Caroline grabbed her coat and purse and at the last second, picked up her drawing pad on impulse. Maybe she could get some inspiration tonight since she was alone anyway. She would show him. Richard didn't think she could function on her own. Well, she could and she would prove it. She was an independent woman, dammit and didn't need a man on her arm to live her life. No siree. She could do this.
She recited this litany all the way to the new Thai restaurant she wanted to try. Maybe the hot spices would burn a whole in her cerebrum and she wouldn't even remember Richard and his date anymore. She realized that Richard was starting to rub off on her. Truth be told, this cynicism actually empowered her, made her feel tougher. No more wimpiness for her. If Richard could find a date, well maybe she could to.
Caroline opened the restaurant door and walked in. There were dozens of patrons waiting for a table. She was starving but determined to stay to try the food. Judging by the crowd, it had to be good. The lighting was minimal, so she stood in place a few moments letting her eyes adjust to the dim light.
Wouldn't you know it, a table for one was ready immediately. According to the maitre de, they rarely got singles in for dinner on a Saturday night. How nice. Caroline forced a smile but really wanted to gouge the guy's eyes out. Lucky for her, it was in the back of the restaurant where her 'singleness' wouldn't be too obvious. After deciding what dishes to try, she glanced around the room, watching the surrounding diners. She had forgotten how much fun 'people watching' really was. The guy over in the corner looked like he was breaking up with his tearful date. Another woman at a distant table was expressing her anger to her contrite mate.
Caroline whipped out the drawing pad and started doodling. Just sometime to catch her thoughts at the moment so she could develop them later. Richard was right. She was definitely getting inspired with fresh, new ideas. This wasn't so bad. Actually this was relaxing. First dates are always so awkward anyway, trying to keep up a conversation and pretending to be interested in what the other person was rambling on about. She was smiling to herself.
The restaurant door opened and closed again letting hungry customers in and satisfied ones out for the hundredth time since she had sat down. She had ignored it so far but a familiar profile suddenly caught her peripheral vision. Or maybe she had just sensed his presence. Richard and his date were standing just inside the door, looking around. Of all the places in New York to eat, he had to pick hers.
Caroline laid her pencil down and scooted her chair to one side to hide behind a table of four. This allowed her to peak around and check out his companion, the Museum Woman, as Caroline thought of her. The woman was almost as tall as Richard, had pale features with dark hair and was dressed from head to toe in black. Richard looked apprehensive, with one hand resting under the woman's elbow as they were shown a table on the opposite side of the restaurant. From Caroline's position, she had a view of the competition but only a rear view of Richard.
It dawned on Caroline that Richard might have met his match in this woman. Even across the room it was obvious she had no sense of humor. Of course, maybe she wasn't being fair. First dates were always hard. You never knew what to expect. They could start off great and then as the evening wore on--.
Grabbing up her pencil again, she quickly sketched her idea. Richard and his date, his real date, she silently reminded herself, were the subjects of the cartoon. Her hands flashed across the page as she drew her characters. It was Richard and his date at the restaurant early in the evening, dinner candles all alit and looking like any other couple out on the town. In each succeeding frame, as the candles melted down, the woman became uglier, more distorted and more hag-like with Richard becoming more horrified. She hadn't quite worked out the punch line, but it wasn't far away. She giggled to herself.
"What's so funny?"
The sound of Richard's voice standing over her must have caused her to jump a foot into the air. Her silverware went flying off the table as she jerked her drawing pad off the table and flipped it over. There could be no doubt about her guilt. But why guilt is what Richard couldn't figure out.
"Uh, uh, nothing, I mean, hi Richard. I didn't follow you here in case you think so. I'm just here to eat, that's all." Caroline wondered if the explanation sounded as stupid to Richard as it did to her. Of course she was here to eat. How lame. She could feel her cheeks reddening and her heart doing a double-time.
Richard just waited until she was done. "I know you didn't follow me. I saw you sitting back here when we first came in." For some reason, he looked slightly embarrassed.
"What are you drawing?" He was eyeing her drawing pad. Caroline prayed he hadn't seen the content. Now she felt ashamed of the subject matter. He and his date sure didn't deserve this treatment. It would be scrapped even though it was pretty funny. It wasn't like her to be so petty and mean. She only wanted him to be happy.
"Uh, just some observations, you know, just some fresh ideas for the strip." She leaned on the table, her hand on top of the pad.
Richard's date suddenly appeared at his side bringing with her the heavy cloying scent of an expensive brand of perfume. Richard nervously made the introductions. It seems that his date, Celeste, was a philosophy professor at NYU. Caroline reached out to shake hands because she was determined to be nice to the woman. It was that good ole' Wisconsin upbringing again.
Celeste didn't respond in kind. "I'm terribly sorry, but I never shake hands with strangers. There are so many viruses and diseases one can pick up if one touches too much. The world is such a filthy place, don't you agree?"
Caroline raised one eyebrow. Okaaay.
"Caroline is a cartoonist. She draws the cartoon 'Caroline in the City'." Celeste just stared at Caroline with no response. Caroline resisted the urge to snap her fingers in the woman's face.
Richard tried again. "You know, the comic section in the newspaper. She's in papers all over the country. Uh, not Caroline, I mean, the cartoon strip she draws." Richard laughed nervously, fidgeting with his tie. Caroline looked from one to the other.
Celeste still stared at her, unsmilingly. "I suppose one must make a living however one can. Life is so temporary before death claims us all. Actually, we are all dying a little each day, so, in the end, does it really matter what we do?"
"But, but, don't you think it's important to find a few laughs every day? To find something happy? I know I do."
Celeste frowned at that idea. "No. That's such a waste of time. And I never find the comic section at all funny, just rather pathetic. I suppose you also find the need to sign everything with a happy face, too." Celeste turned back to Richard. "Come. Dinner is getting cold." She whipped around and headed back for their table. Richard looked at Caroline with some confusion and a shrug before he left.
Caroline sat back down at her table thoroughly depressed, her glance catching her drawing pad still face down. She turned it over, scrutinizing her work. The woman deserved this and more. Caroline decided to publish it. Richard never read her strip anyway.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Caroline, I can't believe you drew this." Annie was standing in Caroline's living room as she did every morning. Today she was waving the newspaper around, folded back to the comic section.
Caroline was seated at her desk and resting her chin on one hand, vainly trying for inspiration. The result was doodles. Guilt had a way of stemming her creative flow. She knew 'that' strip would be in today's paper and now she regretted it. Too late. She could only hope that Richard hadn't seen the paper today. She was positive that Celeste hadn't seen it.
"It's pretty bad, isn't it?"
"Bad? It's great! Why don't you draw like this more often?"
"But, Annie, it's mean!"
"Yeah, exactly. You need to be mean once in awhile. Tell it like it really is. Like me." She grinned at Caroline, who grinned back.
Caroline related her tale of that night's activities of being trapped in the rear of the restaurant and waiting for the two of them to leave. She added a complete description of her competition.
"You mean there are two people like that in the world?" Annie shuttered. "Was she really this bad?"
Caroline sighed heavily. "She was depressing, condescending and intellectual."
"So you're saying she was just like Richard?"
As far as Caroline was concerned, he needed someone very different from himself, someone just like herself for balance in his life. Too bad Richard couldn't see that. She sighed again in irritation.
Her door opened abruptly with Del strolling in. He was carrying a paper under one arm and a bag of something that smelled delicious in the other.
"Hey, it's my favorite cartoonist! I loved the strip today, Caroline. Even Dad approved which never happens. He thinks it's about time that Caroline grew up-" He took one look at Caroline's shocked look and hastily added, "his words, not mine. Personally I like your sunshiny style but this is a nice change too. Whatever you think is good."
"Poor Del. Still trying to act like her boyfriend." Annie snorted in disgust.
"Del, it wasn't my style and you know it. It was a really low thing to do. Promise me that you two will not mention it to Richard. It might hurt his feelings."
"So you think the creature of the night really has feelings? Actually he shouldn't feel too bad-you drew him less ugly this time."
"Oh wow, this was Richard-" Del held the paper closer to his eyes for inspection.
"What about me?" Richard had slipped in the door and hung up his coat.
"Nothing. Del meant nothing. We were just talking, about nothing important. Just stuff. Things."
"Caroline, you're babbling. What's going on?" Richard walked over to his side of the desk, glancing down at the day's work that needed to be colored. He looked up to see Del and Annie staring him, Annie with a big grin on her face.
"What??" Richard was the only person that could make a four-lettered word sound like four syllables.
Annie snickered and Del hid the paper behind his back like a guilty little boy that had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "Nothing. Nothing's up, Richard. I'm just here on non-paper business."
"So, Del, there's nothing in the paper you want to show me?" Richard spoke slowly as if to a child, walking towards him.
"Yes, I mean, no, there isn't." Del looked wildly around for a way out but Richard had him backed up to the bar.
"Wow, Del, smooooth." Annie was looking helplessly up at the ceiling. Caroline jumped up from her chair, ran over to Del's side, grabbed the paper and walked into the kitchen. Opening the trash bin, she dropped it in. Richard looked from one face to the other and sighed. These people were just too easy. He reached over and picked up Annie's forgotten paper from the bar.
He studied the cartoon strip. You could have heard a pin drop in the silence. Then the apartment erupted. Annie announced that she had something really important to do and fled. Del followed her out the door at a run, mouthing 'sorry' at Caroline.
"Richard?" She whispered his name. There was no reply and he didn't look up at her.
Caroline cleared her throat and tried again. "Richard, I'm so, so sorry. It's just that I was having a bad day, my mom had called and asked about possible grandchildren again and I had no inspiration for anything new and Salty wouldn't talk to me and---" And you were on a date with someone else, she silently added.
Richard held his hand in the air. "Please, Caroline. Don't bother."
"But Richard, please forgive me. I don't know why I did it and there's really no excuse. I hate myself for it." She knew she was close to tears.
"Caroline, drop the subject and let's just get to work." Caroline looked at his set face and knew after the many steps forward, they just had a major leap backwards.
* * * * * * * *
He colored in the strip without even thinking about what he was doing. It didn't take any mental effort and sometimes that was a good thing. Like today, for instance. Finding himself and his date the subject of a scathing cartoon did nothing to lighten his already dark mood. Not that his mood wasn't gray most of the time, but lately it was worse. He couldn't quite put his finger on the reason why.
At least she hadn't drawn his nostrils quite so large this time. Still, immature pettiness was just not her style. That would be Annie, not Caroline. He wondered if she was going to sneak peeks at him all day with those big brown eyes filled with remorse. Since he could see her out of the corner of his eyes, it was quite distracting. Still, he wanted her to suffer for a while.
He had really thought that date with Celeste would work out. They had seemed so much alike. Since he had found philosophy so interesting, their conversation had naturally gravitated to the subject. By the second hour, he had found his mind starting to wander. Shocking himself, he daydreamed about the last few Saturday nights at Caroline's place. It had been relaxing and he had let his guard down. He should never have stayed for dinner that first night. What a mistake. Well, he would make no more mistakes.
He had seen Caroline in the restaurant as soon as they had stepped inside the place. He felt his eyes drawn to the back of the restaurant and there she sat. She was all alone and bent over something she was working at industriously. He felt a strong need to speak to her. Now he was embarrassed that he had done that.
He just couldn't understand what was happening to him. A few years ago he could have discussed philosophic topics all night. That night it felt depressing. Halfway through the dinner, he brought up his grandmother and relayed some of the humorous stories that had had Caroline in stitches. Celeste just stared at him with pity in her eyes and asked him how his painting was developing. He had felt depressed again.
What bothered him the most was not so much the cartoon itself but that Caroline had somehow captured his own impressions from that night. She had picked this up after meeting the woman for only a few minutes. He sighed quietly, noticing Caroline looking up at him again. He would not admit his failed date because then he would have to also admit that it wasn't so easy after all to get a date. To admit this after taunting both Annie and Caroline would be a fate worse than death. He could just picture Caroline smiling and Annie's scathing insults at his expense. No, he would gladly suffer and die than to admit they were right.
So he would keep up the image of having a wonderful time and eventually he could 'end' the relationship and nobody would be the wiser. He looked up just in time to see Caroline quickly lower her eyes back to her still blank page. He knew she was feeling guilty because they were friends, certainly not because she actually cared about him. Maybe he'd let her off the hook tomorrow or even the next day. He could probably get a free lunch or two out of this.
* * * * * * * *
She headed down the street to the florist shop. It was a spur of the moment decision to treat herself to flowers. A big bouquet of them to cheer herself up after making such a fool of herself. A little bit of lost ground with Richard had been recovered this week but Caroline knew they had a long way to go. Opening the door, she ran into the very man of her daydreams coming out with a bouquet of his own.
"Richard! Wow, those are beautiful." She smiled up at his hesitant face, wishing for all the world he had bought those for her. She knew better.
"Hi, Caroline. I guess this is a popular place today. Del just left a few minutes ago." He glanced down at the bunch of flowers in his hand, not wanting to explain.
Caroline hesitated. "Celeste will love those." Somehow, she hadn't figured the woman was the wildflowers type but maybe she had misjudged her.
She hesitated again then pulled an envelope out of her pocket. "My agent gave me these. I want you to have them." She pressed the envelope into his hand. Richard looked puzzled.
"Uh-" He indicated his helplessness with only one free hand.
"They're two tickets for the Met next Saturday night. I haven't heard of this opera but I'm sure it's really good. Probably very depressing." She grinned up at him.
"Caroline, I can't take these. Really, I can't." Richard was backing away a few steps.
"Richard, I insist. It's the least I can do to make things right between us again. Please??"
He looked at her sincere face and knew he had no choice. He rarely did with Caroline anyway. Now he would have to go on another date with Celeste. The big man upstairs was punishing him for lying, he just knew it.
He tried one more time. "Caroline, this is really nice of you, but I'm sure you would enjoy these with somebody."
Caroline looked down at the pavement. "No, I don't have anyone to go with and I'd rather you enjoyed the evening with someone special." When she looked up, he noticed that her smile didn't quite reach her eyes as it usually did.
"Yeah, okay, thank you." He said softly. "Well, so, I've got to run. I have to deliver these."
He waved to Caroline and headed for the subway. He didn't know that Caroline watched him until he disappeared from site down the subway tunnel.
He had to hurry since he had a long way to go and he had to get there before the cemetery closed its gates. He was not going to tell Caroline where he was going because she would point out that she had been right after all and would insist on going with him. He wanted to do this alone. He had to.
He looked down at the bouquet of daisies, snapdragons and delphinium mixed together. Just the smell of them took him back to his grandmother's kitchen with all the wonderful smells. He remembered when he was small he would lean his arms on the cold stainless counter, waiting for her to pull out a batch of cookies from the oven. She would have loved these. But now he had to say goodbye to her. It was time. He sat staring out the window as the train gathered speed.
CONTINUED IN CHAPTER FIVE--