CHAPTER SIX-A BIG MISTAKE


He was going to die. There was no question about that. It was just a matter of time. Richard had been in bed since Saturday night and he still felt like the back end of a horse. His head and body ached with every movement. He wanted to die. The sooner, the better as far as he was concerned.

Now it was Monday morning and he was due at work in an hour. But getting out of bed was the problem. He had tried it a couple of times but he was so shaky that he just ended up crawling back in bed. Maybe he would just stay there since he would be dead soon anyway. It would be easier for someone to find his body. He sneezed again for the hundredth time and dabbed at his sore, chapped nose.

He thought about how his funeral would look. Everything draped in black and his artwork decorating the walls much like that faux funeral Caroline had orchestrated for Mr. Arabian. Only this funeral would be real, he consoled himself as he coughed up phlegm.

At his real funeral, Annie would probably dance a jig or whatever Italians do at wakes. Caroline would cry. The thought of her crying over him bothered him a lot. Out of habit, his mind veered quickly away from her. Especially now after that Saturday night kiss that he knew he would live to regret. Somewhere down deep, he knew his subconscious had really, really enjoyed it. He wasn't supposed to. Instead, he thought about Del's reaction to his death. The guy would probably just worry about the funeral service cutting into his dating time or better yet, he'd use the occasion to pick up a date. And Charlie? Charlie was impossible to figure.

So Richard lay there planning his death as the fever surely burned up the neutrons in his brain. Nobody would care. He wanted to stay here forever but he knew he had to get to Caroline's. She was so far behind schedule and she had a new calendar to start. She needed him to help focus her on the work. At least he was responsible.



Caroline surveyed the numerous bags filled with old clothes from her closet cleaning. It had kept her hands busy all day Sunday. The job just didn't keep her mind from thinking about Richard, his kiss and his quick departure. It was nearly nine and she still had no idea how to bring up the subject without embarrassing them both. It certainly didn't help when Annie asked if she was sure Richard hadn't just tripped and fallen on her lips.

Hearing a loud cough outside her door, she looked in that direction. Richard shuffled through the door, head hanging down dejectedly.

"Good morning, Richard." She said rather nervously.

"Since when?" He muttered.

Caroline blinked several times. "Richard, are you sick?"

He looked up at her through blood shot eyes. "No, I'm not sick. I'm dying."

Caroline had to bite down on her lower lip to keep from laughing. What a typical man.

"Now, Richard, I'm sure you're not going to die. You just have a cold. Probably from getting caught in the rain the other night."

"Caroline, a person cannot catch a cold from being wet. You have to be exposed to a vi-, a vi-" he stopped, his head rearing back to sneeze.

"A virus?" Caroline finished.

Richard sneezed and grabbed his Kleenex to cover his nose. Caroline grabbed a full box of tissue and plopped it down on his desk.

"Thanks." He mumbled.

"Why don't you lay down on the sofa and I'll get you something for that cold." Caroline ran up the stairs and disappeared. Richard debated whether he should stay or go home to his own apartment. Caroline's place was definitely warmer and more comfortable. On the other hand, Caroline would hang around trying to cure him and asking too many questions, embarrassing questions. In the end, sheer exhaustion with the lure of the nearby sofa won over. He curled up on his side with his box of Kleenex at arms length.

Annie bounced through Caroline's door, banging the door behind her and causing Richard to groan in protest. She peeked over the side of the sofa.

"Oh hey, Ritchie, what's up? You look horrible. Worse than usual." She grinned at him. "Busy night, huh? No wait. That would be me." She chuckled.

Richard shut his eyes tightly, ignoring her. She poured herself a cup of coffee and deliberately walked around in front of him.

"Wow, are you really sick, Ritchie? I've never seen you sick before. I always thought you were an android. I guess this means you're human after all. Course that would depend on your version of human."

Richard coughed loudly and wafted the germs in her general direction. She glared at him and then her face turned mischievous. "Hey, Romeo, I heard you puckered up for Caroline Saturday night. Didn't know you had it in you." Richard shut his eyes in pain once again. "So, did it leave you with feelings, strong feelings?"

His eyes snapped open and he whispered loudly. "Shut up, Annie. Just shut up and leave me alone. Don't you have any respect for the privacy of others?"

Annie snickered at the sheer stupidity of the question. "No." Richard started to argue then both went silent as Caroline returned, studying the label on a small brown prescription bottle.

"Richard, I think this might help. They might make you sleepy though."

Richard mumbled something deep and nasally. Caroline waved a thermometer in front of him. He reared back in horror.

"Richard, you might have a fever. Just stick this under your tongue."

Richard grabbed one of the pillows under his head and placed it over his face to hide.

"Riii-chard." Caroline whined. He didn't move.

"So, what's the diagnosis, Dr. Duffy? Hopefully the patient needs a lobotomy." Annie snickered.

"He says he's dying." Both girls exchanged amused looks of understanding.

"Really? Can I watch? I need a good laugh today." Annie rubbed her hands together.

"Annie." Caroline had the warning tone in her voice. "Why don't we let Richard rest for awhile." She walked towards the door, grabbing her purse.

Behind her retreating back, Annie pursed her lips together and threw Richard silent mocking kisses. He silently mouthed some selective swear words back at her.

"I hope you'll be okay alone, Richard. I have to run some errands and take some sketch ideas to Del which means we'll go to lunch after that. I won't be back until this afternoon. Will you be alright?"

"Yes, of course." Richard whispered setting off a spasm of coughing. Caroline looked at him with sympathy. "I guess this means you won't be getting much work done."

Richard sighed dramatically. "I'll get up in a minute. Of course, with these dizzy spells I might pass out and hit my head on the desk or with these clammy hands, I might ruin a strip, but I can try."

Caroline suppressed a smile and rolled her eyes upwards. "Never mind. I'll do them myself when I return. Come on, Annie, let's leave him alone." She grabbed a blanket and put it over him, resisting the urge to tuck him in and ruffle his hair.

Caroline stood outside her apartment with Annie. She had wanted to talk to Richard about Saturday night but this was not the right time. It seemed like it was never the right time. She had a sudden vision of herself as an elderly woman, still trying to get up the nerve to talk to old and crotchety Richard.

Annie stood in the doorway to her own apartment. "You sure you don't want me to look in on the dying boy in there?"

Caroline laughed. "I know you'd love to irritate the hell out of him, but he's not in the mood."

"So?"

Caroline laughed. "But you have to agree he's cute when he's sick. Sort of like a wounded puppy that you want to take home."

"More like a rabid animal, if you ask me. If you can still love a guy when he looks like that, you really do have it bad for him."

Caroline just smiled at her and pushed the button for the elevator.



Salty, lying across her mistress' desk was growing restless watching that man tossing and turning on her couch. And she knew just how to get rid of him. She jumped down from her perch, strolled over to the green sofa and casually leapt on top of him. She landed on his stomach, just lightly digging in her claws so he would get the message.

"Owww, Salty, get down." He picked her up bodily and hoisted her down on the floor. "Get lost, cat."

Salty stood below him, glaring. Richard glared back at her. "Go away and die, cat. Shoo." He said grumpily and waved her away.

Richard had put off taking the pills Caroline had left for him. Surely he wouldn't need to drug himself. But with his sinuses completely stopped up, sleep was futile. So was breathing. He picked up the brown prescription bottle and struggled with the childproof lid just as another spasm of coughing racked his body. He managed to pry open the lid with force, throwing little white pills into the air. As he watched, they bounced and rolled under furniture and around corners.

"Damn." Groaning again, he crawled down on his hands and knees trying to find them all. Salty joined in the fun, chasing rolling pills across the wood floor.

"Salty, no. Bad cat." Bending over, the pressure in his sinuses proved too much for him. Finding all the pills he could readily see, he collapsed back on the sofa exhausted. He shut his eyes trying to rest. Dying certainly took longer than he thought it would.



Richard woke later with his head splitting and his throat raw. He struggled to his feet and headed for the kitchen. His toe came into contact with something soft that shouldn't be in the middle of the floor. Groggily, he looked down at the sleeping cat. At least, she appeared to be sleeping. He figured she must be really tired if she passed by the chance to sink her claws into his ankle.

"Uh, Salty?" He nudged her again with no response. In horror, his mind replayed the moments of the medicine bottle debacle.

"Oh. My. God. Salty, please wake up." He stooped down and hesitantly grabbed a paw, shaking it. "Salty? Yoo-hoo. I was kidding about the dying thing." He knew this was bad. Real bad. It was just possible that he had killed Caroline's cat. He could just picture the look of near hate on her face when she looked at him and realized what he had done. He could not let that happen.

He pressed his fingertips along her neck to find a pulse. He couldn't feel a thing. Where does one find a cat pulse anyway? A vet. He needed a veterinarian. His mind flashed to Joe, the only vet he knew. Unfortunately. The one guy he never wanted to see again, but this qualified as an emergency.



"Excuse me. I need service now. I have an emergency, unlike this woman's dog with a skin rash." Richard had forced his way to the front of the line in the vet's office and was trying to catch someone's attention. The receptionist turned an impatient stare in his direction.

"What is your emergency, sir?" The last word would have chilled anyone else to the bone. Not Richard.

"I think this cat might be dead or dying. I need to see Joe. Now." He held up a large box with small holes in the sides.

"Joe?" She repeated after him. "We have a Dr. DeStefano working here."

"Yeah, whatever you want to call him. I need to see him now."

"Sir, you have to fill out this form first and then wait in line for-"

Richard pushed past the other clients and headed for the swinging doors in the rear. It opened to a narrow hallway with doorways branching off in both directions. He walked down the hallway, calling out Joe's name loudly as he went.

Joe poked his head outside one of the doorways.

"Richard?" This was the last person he thought would walk through the door.

"I think I killed Caroline's cat." Richard stood in the hallway feeling totally helpless with the enormity of the situation. Joe took one look at Richard and waved him into one of the rooms.

"Okay, do you want to explain to me what happened Richard, or should I just guess?"

Richard pursed his lips together tightly. He had always hated this guy.

"I spilled some pills on the floor and I think she ate one or some, maybe, I'm not sure. . ." His voice wandered off.

"What kind of pills?"

Richard pulled the brown bottle out of his coat pocket and handed it to Joe. He felt so humiliated in front of this guy.

"Hmmm."

"Hmmm, what?" Richard was getting impatient. And scared. He began pacing in the small room. "You have to do something, Joe. Salty and I have had our differences, but I don't want her to die. Caroline would never forgive me."

Joe lifted a limp Salty out of the carrier box and laid her on the table. He poked and prodded and listened with his stethoscope.

"Well?" Richard couldn't believe how nerve wracking this was.

Joe slowly removed his stethoscope from around his neck and set it down next to the cat. He sighed deeply.

"Wow, Richard, there's nothing I can do. It's too late." He bowed his head in sadness.

Richard stared back in horror. Caroline would hate him. He did it again, ruined a relationship just by being himself. Would it never end?

Joe raised his head and suddenly grinned. "Psych!" He doubled over in laughter at his own joke, smacking the stainless steel table with his hand. "Salty's fine. She's just sleeping it off."

It took a few seconds for Joe's obnoxious sense of humor to sink into Richard's brain. His stare of horror turned to one of anger. He managed to contain himself but just barely.

"Ah, Joe. You got me again. How funny." He deadpanned through gritted teeth. His knotted gut started to unravel with the good news that he wasn't a cat killer after all.

"Come on, Richard. You need a sense of humor. I still think that living in the city turns a guy-"

Richard held up his hand to stop him. "I don't need a sense of humor." He punctuated his statement with a loud sneeze. He pulled a soiled Kleenex out of his pocket and dabbed at his raw nose.

"Hey, got a cold, Richard? Want me to check you out?"

Richard backed two paces away. "No."

"I am a doctor, you know." Joe casually flipped a chair around backward and straddled it with the seat back in front. "Training for a vet is similar to an M.D."

"So you say." Richard looked suspiciously at him.

"Still the same old Richard, I see. Still don't trust people."

"It's worked so far."

"I bet I can think of someone you trust." Joe reached over to a sleeping Salty and petted her affectionately.

Richard watched him. "Are you kidding? I wouldn't trust her as far as I could throw her."

Joe grinned at him again. "I was referring to Caroline."

"Oh." Richard was caught off guard. He folded his arms across his chest defensively.

"How is Caroline, anyway? Still beautiful and funny I bet."

"Caroline is fine."

"Is she seeing anyone right now?"

"Why?" Richard was not giving anything away.

"Just wondering. I know I blew it with her. But hey, you still have a chance." He watched Richard's stone face turn to puzzlement then to enlightenment.

"Ahhhh, that's another one of your jokes. Funny." He didn't look amused.

"Richard, why do you think I'm joking? I'm a sensitive guy of the nineties. I can sense these things. I think you were jealous of me." Joe spun his chair around in a full circle.

Richard's eyes narrowed as he watched. He couldn't understand this guy's immaturity because he had never been that way even when he was young. And he could never ever understand Caroline's attraction to Joe. "Maybe I just hated you."

Joe ignored the comment. "I always thought it was because I'm a doctor and you're the starving artist. But now that I think about it, income had nothing to do with it."

"Yeah, why would a six figure income mean anything to me?" Richard muttered under his breath.

Joe continued. "I think I got in your way but you wouldn't say anything to her because, because.." Joe spun his chair around counter clockwise this time, and then ground his feet down, coming to a halt. "Because you think you're not good enough for her." Joe noticed Richard's eyes flicker nervously and his tongue moisten his lips. "Aha, that's it, isn't it? I guessed it!"

Richard pulled himself together. "Wow, Dr. Joe, the shrink." Sarcasm was the only way to deal with people. "You're way off, Joe. I don't have those kinds of feelings for Caroline. We're just friends. That's all."

"Me thinks you protest too much." Joe was grinning and spinning again leaving Richard cringing with Joe's butchered rendering of Shakespeare. Richard wanted to slap him and send him to his room without dinner. Instead he grabbed the empty cat carrier box indicating he wanted to leave. Joe picked up the softly snoring cat and gently laid her back in the box. Richard picked it up and walked to the door. He turned around and grudgingly thanked Joe. It brought on an almost physical pain.

"So, Richard, see ya around some time, okay?" Joe playfully punched Richard on the shoulder. Richard flinched. "Maybe the two of us can talk again-"

"I've got to get back to work, Joe." Richard could feel the ache in his jaws from gritting his teeth for so long.

"Don't worry about the bill, it's on me."

"That's good, because I couldn't pay it."

"Hey, Richard, good luck with Caroline," Joe teased. Richard made sure his face gave nothing away.



Richard carefully colored in each board in the pile of cartoon strips left on the two-partner desk. As bad as he felt physically, the guilt for what he had done to Salty and by extension, Caroline, was even worse. Even though his eyes were watering and his head wouldn't stop pounding, he forced himself to finish the work so she wouldn't have to. It was the least he could do. As just a friend he reminded himself. He looked over at Salty. He had carefully draped her across the sofa, adjusting her limbs in what he hoped was a natural posture for a sleeping cat. He had decided he wasn't going to mention this whole episode to Caroline. Thank god the cat couldn't rat on him.

Shortly after, Caroline stepped through the door. "Hey, Richard. I thought you were too sick to work." She dropped her purse and keys on the table and carried a deli bag into the kitchen. "I bought you something for that cold."

Richard looked up from his concentrated coloring and watched as she brought down a bowl from a cabinet and poured something into it. Caroline carefully carried it over and set the fragrant smells in front of him.

"Chicken soup." She stated proudly. "Just what a sick boy needs." She looked into his eyes and smiled sweetly. He looked deep into her eyes and what he saw scared him. Richard could feel his stomach churning with the closeness of her. He needed to end this now. It was the only way in his life. Avoiding certain future pain was his specialty.

He looked down at the bowl for a diversion and mumbled his thanks. "You didn't have to do this. I'll be fine."

"Wow, a few hours ago you were terminal. What was the miracle cure?" Caroline thought he would have gone home by now. She was happy he hadn't. She had this irresistible urge to comfort him. She placed her hand on his arm, feeling his warmth through the shirt sleeve.

"I just decided to get some work done. Someone has to around here." He said accusingly and he realized, angrily. Caroline walked over to her side of the desk. He was obviously back to his old self. She watched him scoop soup out of the bowl.

"Uh, Richard, I was wondering if we could talk about, you know, what happened Saturday night...." Caroline could feel her cheeks burning. She hoped he would just dive right in and say something. He stopped eating and was staring into the soup bowl. She took a deep breath. "Anyway, it was-"

"A mistake." He finished for her. "That, uh, kiss was a big mistake. It was very unprofessional of me and it will never happen again. So, I apologize." He noticed his hands were shaking slightly and he couldn't look her in the eyes.

"You apologize." she weakly repeated after him. "It was just a mistake." Caroline sat down heavily in her chair. "You never make mistakes, Richard."

"Well, I did that time." He voice was raised slightly.

"Or at least that's what you say." Caroline raised her voice level to meet his.

"I don't lie, Caroline. It was a stupid thing to do." His voice level was rising.

"Stupid? A mistake? No guy has ever said that to me. Maybe you just mean that I'm too stupid for you. Is that it?" She could hear herself yelling at him but just couldn't stop herself. Why did he infuriate her?

"Maybe, Caroline, I'm just not as nice as those other guys you insist on dating." He was yelling back now.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Richard strode to the door, grabbed his coat and jerked open the door. "Take it anyway you want," he replied icily and slammed the door. He just wanted to go home and hide from the world. Or hide from Caroline.

Caroline stared at the closed door and now empty room with the palm of her hand over her mouth in dismay. Why did she let him get to her like that? Why couldn't she control herself? She stared sadly at his empty chair, feeling as if there was an ocean of misunderstanding between them that would never end.

She slowly sank down on the sofa next to her sleeping cat. What stuck in her mind the most was what she saw in Richard's eyes. Fear. She could practically smell the fear and she knew she was good at that feat largely due to her years with Del. Well, she was a Duffy and a Duffy didn't give up. In fact, the more they were frustrated, the more they dug their heels in. There was a whole lot of tenacity in her family tree.

She picked up a limp Salty to cuddle while she did some thinking. "Salty, I wish I could sleep like you."



Author's note: Of course I couldn't put them together yet or the story would come to an end! Continued in Chapter Seven.