Chapter 3: Men who Carry the Weight of the Sky

It was early morning when Fels moved.

Though, "moved" was hardly an apt description for the ghastly mass of robes that seemed to phase through the floor of the Dian Chet Familia, arriving at the tightly-locked storage room with such ease and silence that it would make the most experienced thieves blush.

Though, ironically enough, the thief was not Fels. In fact, Fels' boney hand reached into his other sleeve, pulled out several bottles of high-quality elixirs, and placed them back into their proper boxes one by one.

He was not the thief today—in fact, he was picking up after a different thief.

As the mass of robes and bones finished his task, he thought back to the white-haired boy who arrived before them yesterday.

After giving the boy enough coins to find a decent lodging for the night, he presented these bottles from under his shirt. A security measure for, using his own words, if I were attacked before I could finish talking. I thought that was unlikely, but I wanted to be prepared just in case.

Fels sighed. The resourcefulness of an Adventurer, I suppose.

According to Bell Cranel, the cloak—called the Fleece—was heavily regulated in the future, with articles with invisibility and "soul inhibition" built into them being only provided to the select few.

With how easily the current Bell Cranel, a no-level, could break into one of Orario's top facilities, Fels suspected crime was at least part of the reason for regulation.

As Fels double-checked the placement of the bottles, his mind started turning, trying to decipher the mechanism behind the "soul inhibition" function his future self created—or perhaps decoded. His mind, long-since unburdened with maintaining skin, organs or other organic facilities, scoured, re-arranged and prodded at the mass of knowledge that existed in his non-existent brain, looking for a line of thought he missed in his Millenia of pondering.

He came up lacking.

He would need to ask Bell Cranel various things upon his return. And that "soul binding" ritual he mentioned… There was much to inquire about that, too. The circumstances of his mysterious time travel, as well—

There were just so many mysteries surrounding Bell Cranel.

And thankfully, unlike some mysteries, this one was willing to provide an answer.

After arranging everything to satisfaction, Fels left the Dian Chet Pharmacy. Normally, he would go back to the guild—but today, he went past the busy building, flitting across shadows and moving towards a certain abandoned church.

There, he would watch, observe and evaluate.

For joining the Ouranos Familia… required a specific kind of determination.

It's a bit before Noon when I leave my inn. Thanks to Ouranos-Sama and Fels, I was able to stay at a decent place that's far from the Hostess of Fertility and Babel. And in an area I'm extremely familiar with, no less.

For example, as I walk down the street I see a flag—featuring a bow in front of a bright sun— fluttering in a manor close by.

I see an apartment that, just early morning, a certain short-haired Elf Advisor came out of.

I see a specific portion of the wall that surrounds Orario, an indistinct place where I received a confusing combination of beatings and lap pillows in abundance.

And the place I'm heading towards now, which notifies my nose with the scent of fried potatoes before coming into view:

A Jagamaru-kun stand.

It's almost amazing how closely my Goddess and our Familia became associated with this fried snack. I mean, we're an adventuring Familia, but we were this close to opening a chain of Jagamaru-kun stands, mostly because Lily saw a… business opportunity, let's call it. And even then, when we started to become recognized they started calling themselves "the favourite snack of the Hestia Familia!" and made flavours for each of us, which somehow boosted their sales? By a lot?

After Lily found that out, she did some serious negotiating and managed to give us share of all Jagamaru-kun stands in return for an official partnership… I even had to work a stand one time as a "promotional stunt."

It was crazy. We almost had an entire business department (run solely by Lily) in our adventuring Familia thanks to Jagamaru-kun.

"Two classic Jagamaru-kun please."

So when I see the tiny menu with only three flavours—classic, spicy and cheese—I can't help but feel disappointed. I mean… they don't even have the Rabbit Deluxe or the Ignis Special...

"Thank you for your purchase!"

As I walk away, one Jagamaru-kun in mouth and one in bag, I go through the ingredients used for the Rabbit Deluxe. There was rabbit meat, of course, but also white cheese sauce with green onion garnish, curry powder in the batter…

I wonder if I could make one…the equipment would be expensive, though.

As I walk amongst vibrant citizens of Orario with Jagamaru-kun in hand, thinking of miscellaneous nonsense while heading down an area I knew as home, I start feeling… not reminiscent, but rather like I never left. Like nothing happened, like everything is as it should be, like all is right with the world—

"…"

…

…

…

…Before I can go too far, I stop myself.

Reminiscing in my home village was inspiring, like a dream. In Orario, the reality of my reminiscence is palpable.

I raise the corners of my mouth slightly and eat another bite of Jagamaru-kun, which tastes a bit muted. I wonder if that's because of my body or my mind? Walking through Orario, Jagamru-kun in hand and smile on my face… if I'm not careful, it feels like I might slip, fall and never get back up.

So, I walk faster. With my unblessed, unaccustomed body it's more of a strenuous waddle than proper footwork, something which constantly nags at my trained mind as I pass through building and streets I recognize far too well. I actively try to look forward every step of the way, focusing on my destination and not my reminiscence.

Round this corner, head down this street, down these stairs…

But as I navigate Orario through memory, it gets harder and harder not to reminisce. I try to focus on sensations, like the ground on my feet, the breeze on my cheek or the bustling noise of the crowd, but they're all slightly off in a way that makes me think thoughts that might show through.

So, I let the memories flow through. I let my eyes wander to familiar sights, let my mind wander through time and let emotions course through…

…And raise the corners of my mouth, take a bite of Jagamaru-kun and keep walking.

Keep walking, keep walking, reminisce while walking, lift corners of mouth, take a bite, keep walking, waddling, take a bite taste nothing, round corner walk waddle run…

And I keep going until I near my destination. A corner that's all too familiar, with a street all too recognizable on the other end.

I glance at my reflection on a shop window. I look happy enough.

As I crumple the Jagamaru-kun paper into my pocket, I round the corner—

And all of a sudden, come face-to-face with someone that makes me freeze in a mix of nervousness, happiness, regret, sadness, joy, worry and a million other things I can't comprehend.

So, I don't think as I raise my hand towards the petite frame who's lying on the floor like she tripped and fell. I think too many things as her blue eyes meet with my red, when I notice her long black hair, tied back in two strands, is touching the floor, when I see the blue ribbon that she tied—just before I—right before—right before—

"Hello. Are you ok?"

She takes my hand.

"Huh? Oh yeah, I just tripped on a tile. I guess I'm not perfectly used to my body…"

She gets a good look at me.

"Hey, thanks for your help! As compensation, how about I welcome you to my familia?"

"Oh, are you a Goddess?"

"Yep!"

She stands up straight, trying and failing to look like a dignified goddess.

"The name's Hestia, the goddess of the hearth and home! What about you?"

I give a slight bow.

"Nice to meet you, Hestia-sama. My name is Bell Cranell."

I raise my head—

"Nice to meet you, Bell!"

And try my best not to break down into tears. Or at least, that's what I think would happen if I broke my smile.

"What's this? It's really good!"

She takes a large bite of the spare Jagamaru-kun, looking delighted as the crunchy soft texture spreads through her mouth.

"It's called Jagamaru-kun. It's fried potato snack you can find in a stall around the twilight manor, where the Apollo familia is."

She inwardly cringes at the mention of Apollo.

"Ehh… Apollo? That could be a little…Well, I guess it'll be fine. How much was it?"

"One Jagamaru-kun is around 30-40 valis."

She chokes.

"Geh. That expensive?"

"Hestia-sama, 40 valis is money you could find on the ground."

"Welllll things get iffy when you don't have income…"

She says, the slight pout on her cheeks growing bigger as she finishes her sentence.

Well, that's a familiar sight.

She does tend to pout whenever she's angry or dissatisfied.

"How about a part-time job?"

"Yeah, I really should… Wait, this isn't it!"

She suddenly stands up.

"We were talking about you joining my Familia, not me being poor!"

She then spins her head to face me, almost slapping me with her hair.

"So, want to join my Familia?" She asks with a smile and an outstretched hand that's… too familiar.

I just take a good second, staring at her eyes, expression, and hand.

It's hard to describe what holding back tears feels like. It's insanely difficult but at the same time, you're quite not sure what you're doing. It feels like I'm sucking the breath out of myself, trying to drown inside-out until I can't drown anymore.

Finally, I give her a tentative smile which strains every muscle on my face to even manage.

"I'm sorry, Hestia-sama. There's a specific Familia I want to join."

Her smile curves down to a defeated slump, and despite the light-hearted mood I feel like I've just committed sacrilege.

"Ahh, you too, huh… I guess nobody wants to join a new, nameless Familia like mine…"

With my screaming body, I stand up, crouch and lean forward to meet the eyes of my Goddess.

"Don't worry, Hestia-sama. I'm sure you'll find someone who would love to be in your Familia."

As I hear the words coming out of my mouth, I imagine a scene—my goddess, coming up to me with a proud smile, dragging a face I don't know—

"Look, Bell! I finally have a member! The Hestia Familia begins now, starting with us two!"

I would look at her radiant smile, then the tentative embarrassment on the member's, and then I would have to respond with a smile—

"Congratulations" —

And suddenly, the world feels wrong.

"Thanks, Bell… You're a good guy, aren't you?" She says, giving me a pat on my shoulder.

The instant her cool touch traces the skin on my right arm, I feel more memories bubble and threaten to boil over.

And as I've continued to do this entire morning, I hold it in. I suck it in. I drown myself until I feel numb and mute.

I'm not even sure what I'm holding back anymore. Happiness? Loneliness? Regret? Joy?

Everything?

"I'm just saying what I think. But Hestia-sama, I'm surprised you didn't know about Jagamaru-kun. It's a really well-known snack in Orario."

"Well, I haven't been in Genkai long, so…"

"In that case, would you like me to introduce you to some popular spots? I know my way around Orario pretty well. We can also get Jagamaru-kun on the way."

"Eh? But I don't have money on me."

"I could buy a few for you."

"Really! You'd do that for me?"

"It's really cheap. Besides, Hestia-sama, you are a Deity. I should show some respect."

"Well thanks. But you know, there's no need to be so formal because I'm a Goddess. Some might be stuck-up like that, but not me."

"Then instead of a show of respect, how about an offering?"

"I can work with that. Alright, lead the way, Bell!"

And so, I took my Goddess around Orario, showing her sights I knew all too well she would like. We visited the Jagamaru-kun stall, some clothing stores, a corner bookstore, a nice café…

And all the while, I couldn't help but notice. The familiar way she puts her hands to her hips, the way her hair swings side to side while looking around, the… well, everything. She's the Goddess of my Familia; my family. The Goddess I was supposed to protect.

And with every gesture I recognize, one thing becomes more and more noticeable to me.

The way her hair is tied. Back and low into two tails with some cheap blue bands.

…Should I gift her some again?

"Ah!"

Suddenly, while we're taking a break in Amor Plaza, she exclaims out loud.

"Is something wrong?"

"I just realized something."

She whips her head around to meet me.

"You just took me out on a date, didn't you."

I give her a confused look, then respond normally.

"…Is that a problem?"

"There is! I didn't even notice you were taking me out! I was known as one of the three virgin Goddess, you know, and you slipped past my guard just like that— And on top of that, it was fun! We just met, and you were somehow engineer a fun date plan immediately!"

Well, that last part isn't exactly true…

She gives me an accusatory stare.

"Bell… are you a womanizer?"

I stare at her like a goldfish out of water.

"…no?"

"You can't lie to a Goddess!"

I give a small sigh and lower my voice to almost a whisper.

"…yes."

"Wow, and you acknowledge it, too."

"Well, I personally don't know what I'm doing that's so special, but everyone calls me a womanizer so…"

"So you're like Miach and Takemikazuchi, huh… The type that successfully hits on women without even meaning to."

"Ahaha…"

"It's okay. At least you realize it unlike those two."

"If it makes you feel any better, Hestia-sama, I'm not trying to do anything weird. I really just wanted to show you the great spots around Orario."

"It's that kind of consideration that makes you dangerous… But thanks Bell. I had a great time."

"You're welcome. Is it okay if I show you one last spot, though?"

"Yeah, sure—wait, you just did it again!"

While keeping up some light banter, we make our way towards the spot.

And as we head there, I grip the packaged ribbons I sneakily bought, making sure the box doesn't poke out.

…Should I give it to her?

We can't have the same bond we hand previously, but at the very least… I would like to see her with twintails again.

But at the same time, it—

And after debating to myself the whole way, we eventually arrived.

A small post overlooking an unassuming portion of Orario: a place perhaps like any other, one you could only find on accident.

"Bell, what's so special about this place?"

As we lean on the brick railing overlooking the street, I answer her while thinking back to the first time I came here.

"This place isn't very fancy or energetic like the others, nor is it necessarily relaxing… But it's quaint, and inconspicuous off enough to be a secret spot."

I point towards the streets.

"And once it's nighttime, there's a great view over all the little lights on this street. Not an overwhelming brightness like the busy districts, but just bright and dark enough for each little spark to glitter like stars."

I turn to look at my Goddess.

"If you find yourself here at a good time, it's almost like the very stars themselves have descended."

With an excited and expectant look, she leans her head over the railing.

"Well if you praise it that much, I can't help but look forward to it."

I smile.

"You won't find a perfect view every time, but on certain days there's a certain magic to this simple sight."

I continue smiling, but this time I force it slightly.

"Hestia-sama, when you finally get a Familia member, and they ever ask you to show them around Orario… could you show them this spot? Among others, of course."

"Uh? Yeah, I can do that, but… why are you asking for such a specific thing?"

I give a long look at the view before responding.

"I think there's something… very nice about visiting a secret spot like this with your family."

Even though I'm not looking, I can feel her gaze on me strengthen at that statement. But it's not an intimidating, prodding nor forceful gaze, just… a warm, gentle one, kindly looking over.

"…Thanks for showing me a spot like this, Bell. I can tell it means a lot to you… And I won't ask why you showed it to me specifically, because I feel like you couldn't say."

"…"

"Are you sure you don't want to join my Familia?"

"…I have a goal, Hestia-sama."

I close my eyes for a moment, letting my mind wander back to the sight of the Dragon—and his Brood.

"A goal that… one that…"

One that I couldn't burden you with.

She gives me a knowing gaze that's part wise, part wistful and part sorrowful.

"…From what I've seen, you're an adult, Bell."

She then walks right up to me and faces me directly.

"You've already left home and become an adult… At an incredibly young age, from what I can tell. I don't know how you got so mature this young."

She then ruffles my hair.

"I'm the Goddess of the hearth and home. When I came to Genkai, when I began looking for people to join my Familia…well, I was looking for a family. But Bell, it feels like you're looking towards something else."

"…"

"You said you had a specific Familia you wanted to join, right?"

I nod.

"You know, from what little I've seen from other Familias… I think children come to us, come find us deities, because they find something in us they want. A skill, a trait, a way of life... Hephaistos has her craft, Takemikazuchi has his discipline and attitude, Freya… well, "love" I suppose."

"…"

"And if it's not the deity, it's the members. People join the Loki Familia because they admire its members, not because of Loki… She's raised an amazing group of children to the point people seek them out, instead of her."

Her hand comes down from my hair and on my shoulder.

"If there's a specific Familia you want to join… then I think there's something you're looking for. Something that Deity or its members have and, from how you're struggling, something I don't."

I finally turn to meet her eye.

"I'm not sure why you're so interested in me, Bell, and I'm not sure what you want… But whatever it is, I think you're mature enough to know how to achieve it, and you know it isn't through me."

And with that, we enter a pause.

She pauses.

She knowingly stops… because she knows, even without knowing exactly why or comprehending fully, that I need to process everything. That I need to think over the torrent of everything inside me.

So, I think back.

I let everything overwhelm me for a moment and let the torrent of memories and feeling sweep me away.

And once everything's passed, I meet my Goddess' eyes and speak, trying to convey too much and everything all at once, a lifetime in a single moment:

"Thank you, Hestia-sama."

"…You could've at least dropped the sama."

She walks to the stairs and, before descending them, looks back and waves.

"See you, Bell! I hope you achieve whatever you're trying to do!"

And with that, she descends the stairs and heads down the street.

I watch over her until she disappears from view around a corner.

…

…

"So, you didn't end up giver her those ribbons."

"…Fels, is it okay for you to be out like this?"

I look back and see a black mass of robes standing in the shadow of a tree.

"Not to worry—as you said, this is quite the niche spot."

I walk over to stand next to him.

"Was it really okay for me to listen? I believe it was quite personal, no?"

"It's fine, Fels. It's not like you knew everything that was going on under the surface, right?"

"I'm not a scholar of persons, so I can't say I did… Which is why I'm curious as to why you didn't gift those ribbons."

I take out the packaged ribbons from my coat pocket.

"These? Oh, well… I was debating it in my head. About whether or not I should give them to her."

I unwrap the packaging and take them out: two blue-white, silk ribbons that completely match her outfit.

"But at the end of the day, even though she is my Goddess… she's still different."

Pulling on my cloak, I start wrapping them around the connecting bit around my neck.

"She was right. What I'm looking for with my Deity… isn't through her. When I met Hestia-sama in my time, I was looking for family, and I found it through her and Orario."

"And what about now?"

"Now I have a family, and even if I'll never see them again, even if I'll miss them dearly… It doesn't mean I can find them again, not even if I join her Familia. I've changed too much from who I was back then, to the point she called me "mature" of all things."

"And does that sadden you?"

Instead of responding, I just continue tying the ribbons.

"…My family is irreplaceable, even with the same people."

With one final tug I finish wrapping them into a tight knot, finishing the new accent on my cloak.

"What I'm looking for now, I think, is something that can be found with Ouranos-sama."

I walk past Fels.

"Let's head to the Guild, Fels. Can you get me into Ouranos-sama's chamber, or do I need to sneak in again?"

"I shall get you there. We can't have you make a mockery of Guild security every time you need to report."

"Good. Then let's go immediately—

Because I need to make this determination now, before everything overwhelms me.

A man, dressed in a white cloak accented with white-blue ribbons, walks up to the God.

The God looks over from his prayer, and meets the man's eyes.

"…Have you talked to your previous deity?"

Asks the God.

"Yes."

Responds the man.

"And have you made your peace?"

He asks again.

"Yes."

He responds again.

"Then tell me, Bell Cranel. Respond and prove to me."

"Do you wish to join my Familia?"

Asks the God.

"Yes."

Responds the man.

And a mortal cannot lie to a deity.

The God raises himself from his seat.

He walks down, continuing his prayer all the same.

"…I have sat at this seat for Millenia, closed off from the outside. Hardly moving, taking the barest sustenance. Supporting the sky, without even seeing the fruits of my efforts."

The man stood tall, for he wished to meet the God's eyes.

"I live as a pariah, despite being a God."

The Deity reached the man's plane.

"Not for my sake, for what I am doing is equivalent to suicide—"

And finally, the Deity stood in front of the man.

"—but for Orario, and Genkai as a whole."

"Bell Cranel."

"Are you determined to give yourself not to you, but to Orario and Genkai?"

And the man responded.

"Yes."

And a short silence filled the chamber.

Until the God raised a small knife, hidden under his cloak—and raised it to his finger.

Knowingly, the man turned around and raised his cloak and shirt.

And as the divine blood of a deity touched the man's skin, light shone and the blood wrote dark lines on his back like ink.

"Bell Cranel, the Sky now rests on your back. You will never see it, but it has inscribed itself upon you, heavy and significant."

The Falna depicted a scene, perhaps. A starry sky, it could be. Darkness with slivers of light forming countless constellations that no doubt belonged in the realm of gods. It was perhaps beautiful, but its full majesty could not be appreciated by the blessed, for a reflection was an insignificant substitute.

Instead, what the blessed felt was the weight of the endless expanse of the night's darkness and light, for the sky was immaterial yet as a whole, unfathomably heavy.

"You now carry the Sky on your back, Bell Cranel."

"Rise, as the sole member of the Ouranos Familia."

"Rise not for glory, even if you may receive it. Rise not for recognition, even if you may receive it."

"Rise, for some must bear the weight of the Sky."

"Rise, Bell Cranel, Captain of the Ouranos Familia."

And so, the man turned around and met his God.

The man's name was Bell Cranel, the sole member and captain of the Ouranos Familia.