But three weeks after she'd first moved in, as she sat down next to Wesley
with a book to watch over him as he slept, as was their custom, he took her
hand. She dropped her book, but attentively turned to him, then felt her
heart freeze at the look in his eyes. The look that was saying goodbye.
"Fred," he started softly, even as she was shaking her head in denial.
"Winifred, you must go. Please," he said, when she started to argue, tears
welling in her eyes. "Fred, what you've done for the past few weeks…how
you've…you've been more kind to me than I could ever wish for. Ever
deserve," he said, gripping her hand tightly. "But I cannot drag you
further into this. This, Fred, is my home. My darkness, my demons, my
worthless life. You needn't be pulled any further into it."
He stopped for a moment, trying to ignore the pain in his chest caused by her hitching sobs. "You don't want me?" she asked in a broken voice, interrupting his next sentence. He looked at her in shock. "No, Fred, I…I just don't feel you should be punished for my mistakes. You deserve to live in the sun, to go out with others. I…am monopolizing your time, your energy, and it simply isn't right. Not when I cannot offer you anything but pain and misery in return," he replied, begging her with his eyes to understand. Her tears had started to dry, and in place he found himself staring into eyes filled with defiance. "That's not true," she stated, voice only slightly trembling. "I chose this for myself Wesley. I'm here, for as long as I can be. I'm helping you, whether you like it or not," she said, then closed her eyes waiting for the rejection. His own eyes filled with unshed tears. "Fred, I need you so much. But the others need you too. I cannot possibly ask you to stay with someone like me…" Her eyes opened, and she held up her hand to stop his sentence. "You're not asking me. I'm ordering myself," she corrected calmly. "All I ask for is friendship in return," she said, with hope evident in her voice. Not entirely sure what she wanted anymore from him, but willing to take only friendship as a beginning. "You have Gunn…" he started to say, and then stopped. She took a deep breath, and then squeezed his hand, which still held her own. "Yes, I have Gunn," she agreed. "But I need you," she said, emphasizing the last two words.
His hand clutched hers more tightly at her words. He looked at her with wonder, sadness and a bit of longing in his eyes. Both had no idea what to make of her words, and neither could comprehend their full meaning at this time. So they silently decided to take it Fred's way- go slowly. Wesley nodded hesitantly, nervously. "Okay," he agreed. She nodded as well, then squeezed his hand, smiling softly. Watching as he pulled his hand from hers, and laid down to rest. Picking up her book from its location on the floor, she settled into the chair as Wesley fell asleep. Wondering how long the routine would go before it changed. And wondering how it would change. But she knew no matter what happened, she wouldn't desert Wesley. She'd always be here for him, his own radiant Guardian Angel.
He stopped for a moment, trying to ignore the pain in his chest caused by her hitching sobs. "You don't want me?" she asked in a broken voice, interrupting his next sentence. He looked at her in shock. "No, Fred, I…I just don't feel you should be punished for my mistakes. You deserve to live in the sun, to go out with others. I…am monopolizing your time, your energy, and it simply isn't right. Not when I cannot offer you anything but pain and misery in return," he replied, begging her with his eyes to understand. Her tears had started to dry, and in place he found himself staring into eyes filled with defiance. "That's not true," she stated, voice only slightly trembling. "I chose this for myself Wesley. I'm here, for as long as I can be. I'm helping you, whether you like it or not," she said, then closed her eyes waiting for the rejection. His own eyes filled with unshed tears. "Fred, I need you so much. But the others need you too. I cannot possibly ask you to stay with someone like me…" Her eyes opened, and she held up her hand to stop his sentence. "You're not asking me. I'm ordering myself," she corrected calmly. "All I ask for is friendship in return," she said, with hope evident in her voice. Not entirely sure what she wanted anymore from him, but willing to take only friendship as a beginning. "You have Gunn…" he started to say, and then stopped. She took a deep breath, and then squeezed his hand, which still held her own. "Yes, I have Gunn," she agreed. "But I need you," she said, emphasizing the last two words.
His hand clutched hers more tightly at her words. He looked at her with wonder, sadness and a bit of longing in his eyes. Both had no idea what to make of her words, and neither could comprehend their full meaning at this time. So they silently decided to take it Fred's way- go slowly. Wesley nodded hesitantly, nervously. "Okay," he agreed. She nodded as well, then squeezed his hand, smiling softly. Watching as he pulled his hand from hers, and laid down to rest. Picking up her book from its location on the floor, she settled into the chair as Wesley fell asleep. Wondering how long the routine would go before it changed. And wondering how it would change. But she knew no matter what happened, she wouldn't desert Wesley. She'd always be here for him, his own radiant Guardian Angel.