~Whoo, once again, I have another wonderful chapter of Kimahri's horrible life for all you peoples to read. Yay. Sorry it took so long, but I'm lazy~Silver Neko
"We get close to big city and there on a large tower thingy, Yuna and Seymour are all dressed up and ready for sex, I mean wedding. Yes. That is what Kimahri meant. We slid down long rope thing (which shredded skin off of Kimahri's feet) and Kimahri's panties get seen by all. Why must monks and machines giggle so mockingly at Kimahri?! Kimahri LIKE "My pretty Ponies" panties! We kill many monk people and smash sac-ro-ligoius machines. Big fun! When we get to Seymour, he not happy. Yuna pull out summoner stick and say she gunna send Seymour. Seymour no like this. He say that if Yuna send him, he going to make Kimahri and others very dead. So Yuna drop stick and she and Seymour kissy kiss. Teehee! Seymour then say to kill Kimahri and others. Poopy. Yuna scream and then threaten to fling self off tower. WHOOHOO! Seymour not believe her, so she jump. Kimahri so proud of Yuna. She do one thing that Kimahri not have guts to do....aw crap! She call big ugly bird summon to save life. Poooopy!
So then Al Bhed girl use Ninja vanish trick and make us run away. We go deep into temple and after solving very trippy and psycho puzzle, we get to pray room. Blond boy stupidly start to try to open pray door but he just weak and stupid, so Kimahri help, voices in head say it the right thing to do. Soon Kimahri shall destroy head voices. Blond boy go into get Yuna, but then guards come and attack. Kimahri and others get captured. We find out that all people in court of Measters am dead, except for Ronso one. YAY FOR RONSOS! We get sentenced to "Via Purifico" thingy. In other words, they just toss us into dusty place and HOPE we die. There no fun in that! Kimahri say, killing things personally am much fun. So Kimahri stand around for a while and wait for sweet death to claim Kimahri. Suddenly Yuna pop up with BOOBS GODDESS and we go and find man in red. Just as we nearly get out of bad place, Summoner man from Al Bhed nest come and say he must kill Yuna because....of....something. Oh Well. Yuna kick his ass. We leave. After some long and confusing running, We run into.......AAAAAAAAAAHHHH! DAMMIT! WHY BLOND BOY NO DEAD?! POOPY! Soooo, Yuna, Lady with big boobs, Man with odd hair, Blond boy from 1000 years ago, Man in red, Al Bhed girl and Kimahri, run like hell out of Ba-somthing.
But bad things always happen when in the presence of Blond boy from 1000 years ago. We run into Seymour. Kimahri's hatred can not be denied any longer! MUST....STAB! So Kimahri stab. Kimahri stab good. So very good. Kimahri stab Seymour in belly. He no flinch. Kimahri confused. Kimahri did it right! Kimahri stuck the sharp end into the squishy thing that screams and bleeds, but Seymour no scream or bleed! That no good for Kimahri's self esteem. Kimahri want to cry now. Yuna and others run away and leave Kimahri to face Kimahri's horrible death. Poor Kimahri. No one love Kimahri. Kimahri most pitiful creature of face of Spira. So as Kimahri prepared to die painful death of super pain, Yuna decide to come back and save Kimahri. Hmmm, Kimahri's head voices must have infected Yuna too. So Seymour change into big evil thingy of doomy doom. We kill it. He disappear. But for good? Pfffft, not as long as Blond boy here.
We escape city and go into Macalania woods to hide like fugitives we am. Yuna go off into spring to have a nice long cry and Kimahri guard path so that no one peep. Naked Yuna is site NO ONE want to see. Suddenly Blond Boy from 1000 years ago walk up and say something about stuff. Kimahri just plugged ears and screamed. Blond boy go away, but he head for spring. Oh well, his doom, not Kimahri's. So after awhile Kimahri hear Yuna start to cry and even though Kimahri no want to have to move lazy ass and go see what wrong, voices in head yell and make Kimahri feel bad. When Kimahri get to spring, Kimahri sees BLOND BOY and YUNA doing what is very close to MATING! Oh no! If Yuna breed with Blond boy then they create race of stupid blond people who can summon ugly birds! Nooooo! Oh well, Kimahri will most likely be dead by then. So Kimahri just stands there and watches. God, Kimahri needs to lose virginity so bad. Can't wait to get to Mt. Gagazet and be around NORMAL people again.
Next morning, we get up and once again start off. We enter Calm lands and run into STUPID OLD MAN WHO NO STOP TALKING! NOOOO! HE...TALK! AAAARRGH! AND WE LISTEN! WHYYYY?! Oh, it over then. Yay! We go to trading post and run into man who was once Summoner that Man with odd hair and Lady with big boobs once guarded. Whoo. After he tell Yuna stuff and leave, Al Bhed guy tells us something. If Kimahri could understand a lick of Al Bhed, Kimahri would of told the others. But Kimahri doesn't, so boohoo. Then we run into Summoner lady and she and Yuna fight and Yuna win AGAIN. Yay. So for a while, Blond boy run around and catch monsters for monster place guy, learn how to ride Chocobo, and get neat new blue sword that kill useless until he gets stuff for it. Great use of time, really. So then we find old temple and in it am Summoner lady and we find out SHE dead. Wow. Just when Kimahri thinks Kimahri knows a person. So after many many fight fights, Yuna send Summoner lady and get new Summon: Three ugly bug ladies with cool attack. They cool, but Kimahri like Unicorn whose name starts with I better. Yep.
We leave Calm lands and run into Seymour's minions. After we kill 'em good, we go into small valley and go into place where Lady with big boobs got first Summoner she ever had killed. Whoohoo. So we go inside and have to fight Ghost of dead Summoner and big Assassin Summon with cute Doggy! We kick ass, and the Yuna offer ALL OUR MONEY to Assassin Summon so it will come with us and help us not become dead. Yay. After that, we head up....MT. GAGAZET! YAAAY! Kimahri not been here since Kimahri meet bleeding Man in red! We climb up, but then all Ronso pop up and Kelk say Yuna no aloud on Gagazet. STARING CONTEST WITH BIRAN! After many many talking, Kelk say Yuna may climb Mt. Gagazet, but STOOPID brothers Biran and Yenke say that Kimahri no pass because Kimahri weak. WEAK?! Who was one who get hit in face and not get back up in Luca? Huh? HUH?! Kimahri then fight stupid brothers and beat their asses good. We go up mountain but then Biran pop up again and then ALL Ronso on Gagazet start singing Fayth song. Whoo. AFTER THAT, we climb high, high up mountain and find sphere that Yuna's papa made and it had many talking in it for Yuna. Yuna cry. Kimahri take dump behind rock. We move on.
So we climb high, high, high up and then we run into Seymour again. He say that he just kill all Ronso. This make Kimahri sad and angry. Kimahri will never get laid now! So we fight fight fight, kill kill kill and Seymour die. But for how long? Hmm, Blond boy from 1000 years ago still alive, so not very long at all. As we go on up mountain, Kimahri find pretty thingy shaped like planet Saturn, so Kimahri make it into necklace. Teehee, it shiny! We find "Fayth cluster" and Blond boy pass out. He start twitching in sleep and screaming about city with name that start with Z. After everyone yell at Blond boy, he wake up with damp pants. We go into Cavern of Darkness and have to fight many not happy things and solve head exploding puzzles. Then we get out of place and Man in red start yammering about stuff. Oh no! Big monster! Kill! It dead then. We climb and climb and finally see it: City with name that start with Z. Hey, it not shiny at all. Kimahri so disappointed. So we go down to city and make camp fire for the night. Blond boy from 1000 years ago then decide to tell story of our craptastic adventures. Kimahri once again had to shut off oxygen supply to brain to be able to stay sane."
~Yay! I'm somewhat nearly done with this garbage! After this, I must write a lemon! So...perverted...must write...about...nasty things! Mwahahahaha!~Silver Neko
"We get close to big city and there on a large tower thingy, Yuna and Seymour are all dressed up and ready for sex, I mean wedding. Yes. That is what Kimahri meant. We slid down long rope thing (which shredded skin off of Kimahri's feet) and Kimahri's panties get seen by all. Why must monks and machines giggle so mockingly at Kimahri?! Kimahri LIKE "My pretty Ponies" panties! We kill many monk people and smash sac-ro-ligoius machines. Big fun! When we get to Seymour, he not happy. Yuna pull out summoner stick and say she gunna send Seymour. Seymour no like this. He say that if Yuna send him, he going to make Kimahri and others very dead. So Yuna drop stick and she and Seymour kissy kiss. Teehee! Seymour then say to kill Kimahri and others. Poopy. Yuna scream and then threaten to fling self off tower. WHOOHOO! Seymour not believe her, so she jump. Kimahri so proud of Yuna. She do one thing that Kimahri not have guts to do....aw crap! She call big ugly bird summon to save life. Poooopy!
So then Al Bhed girl use Ninja vanish trick and make us run away. We go deep into temple and after solving very trippy and psycho puzzle, we get to pray room. Blond boy stupidly start to try to open pray door but he just weak and stupid, so Kimahri help, voices in head say it the right thing to do. Soon Kimahri shall destroy head voices. Blond boy go into get Yuna, but then guards come and attack. Kimahri and others get captured. We find out that all people in court of Measters am dead, except for Ronso one. YAY FOR RONSOS! We get sentenced to "Via Purifico" thingy. In other words, they just toss us into dusty place and HOPE we die. There no fun in that! Kimahri say, killing things personally am much fun. So Kimahri stand around for a while and wait for sweet death to claim Kimahri. Suddenly Yuna pop up with BOOBS GODDESS and we go and find man in red. Just as we nearly get out of bad place, Summoner man from Al Bhed nest come and say he must kill Yuna because....of....something. Oh Well. Yuna kick his ass. We leave. After some long and confusing running, We run into.......AAAAAAAAAAHHHH! DAMMIT! WHY BLOND BOY NO DEAD?! POOPY! Soooo, Yuna, Lady with big boobs, Man with odd hair, Blond boy from 1000 years ago, Man in red, Al Bhed girl and Kimahri, run like hell out of Ba-somthing.
But bad things always happen when in the presence of Blond boy from 1000 years ago. We run into Seymour. Kimahri's hatred can not be denied any longer! MUST....STAB! So Kimahri stab. Kimahri stab good. So very good. Kimahri stab Seymour in belly. He no flinch. Kimahri confused. Kimahri did it right! Kimahri stuck the sharp end into the squishy thing that screams and bleeds, but Seymour no scream or bleed! That no good for Kimahri's self esteem. Kimahri want to cry now. Yuna and others run away and leave Kimahri to face Kimahri's horrible death. Poor Kimahri. No one love Kimahri. Kimahri most pitiful creature of face of Spira. So as Kimahri prepared to die painful death of super pain, Yuna decide to come back and save Kimahri. Hmmm, Kimahri's head voices must have infected Yuna too. So Seymour change into big evil thingy of doomy doom. We kill it. He disappear. But for good? Pfffft, not as long as Blond boy here.
We escape city and go into Macalania woods to hide like fugitives we am. Yuna go off into spring to have a nice long cry and Kimahri guard path so that no one peep. Naked Yuna is site NO ONE want to see. Suddenly Blond Boy from 1000 years ago walk up and say something about stuff. Kimahri just plugged ears and screamed. Blond boy go away, but he head for spring. Oh well, his doom, not Kimahri's. So after awhile Kimahri hear Yuna start to cry and even though Kimahri no want to have to move lazy ass and go see what wrong, voices in head yell and make Kimahri feel bad. When Kimahri get to spring, Kimahri sees BLOND BOY and YUNA doing what is very close to MATING! Oh no! If Yuna breed with Blond boy then they create race of stupid blond people who can summon ugly birds! Nooooo! Oh well, Kimahri will most likely be dead by then. So Kimahri just stands there and watches. God, Kimahri needs to lose virginity so bad. Can't wait to get to Mt. Gagazet and be around NORMAL people again.
Next morning, we get up and once again start off. We enter Calm lands and run into STUPID OLD MAN WHO NO STOP TALKING! NOOOO! HE...TALK! AAAARRGH! AND WE LISTEN! WHYYYY?! Oh, it over then. Yay! We go to trading post and run into man who was once Summoner that Man with odd hair and Lady with big boobs once guarded. Whoo. After he tell Yuna stuff and leave, Al Bhed guy tells us something. If Kimahri could understand a lick of Al Bhed, Kimahri would of told the others. But Kimahri doesn't, so boohoo. Then we run into Summoner lady and she and Yuna fight and Yuna win AGAIN. Yay. So for a while, Blond boy run around and catch monsters for monster place guy, learn how to ride Chocobo, and get neat new blue sword that kill useless until he gets stuff for it. Great use of time, really. So then we find old temple and in it am Summoner lady and we find out SHE dead. Wow. Just when Kimahri thinks Kimahri knows a person. So after many many fight fights, Yuna send Summoner lady and get new Summon: Three ugly bug ladies with cool attack. They cool, but Kimahri like Unicorn whose name starts with I better. Yep.
We leave Calm lands and run into Seymour's minions. After we kill 'em good, we go into small valley and go into place where Lady with big boobs got first Summoner she ever had killed. Whoohoo. So we go inside and have to fight Ghost of dead Summoner and big Assassin Summon with cute Doggy! We kick ass, and the Yuna offer ALL OUR MONEY to Assassin Summon so it will come with us and help us not become dead. Yay. After that, we head up....MT. GAGAZET! YAAAY! Kimahri not been here since Kimahri meet bleeding Man in red! We climb up, but then all Ronso pop up and Kelk say Yuna no aloud on Gagazet. STARING CONTEST WITH BIRAN! After many many talking, Kelk say Yuna may climb Mt. Gagazet, but STOOPID brothers Biran and Yenke say that Kimahri no pass because Kimahri weak. WEAK?! Who was one who get hit in face and not get back up in Luca? Huh? HUH?! Kimahri then fight stupid brothers and beat their asses good. We go up mountain but then Biran pop up again and then ALL Ronso on Gagazet start singing Fayth song. Whoo. AFTER THAT, we climb high, high up mountain and find sphere that Yuna's papa made and it had many talking in it for Yuna. Yuna cry. Kimahri take dump behind rock. We move on.
So we climb high, high, high up and then we run into Seymour again. He say that he just kill all Ronso. This make Kimahri sad and angry. Kimahri will never get laid now! So we fight fight fight, kill kill kill and Seymour die. But for how long? Hmm, Blond boy from 1000 years ago still alive, so not very long at all. As we go on up mountain, Kimahri find pretty thingy shaped like planet Saturn, so Kimahri make it into necklace. Teehee, it shiny! We find "Fayth cluster" and Blond boy pass out. He start twitching in sleep and screaming about city with name that start with Z. After everyone yell at Blond boy, he wake up with damp pants. We go into Cavern of Darkness and have to fight many not happy things and solve head exploding puzzles. Then we get out of place and Man in red start yammering about stuff. Oh no! Big monster! Kill! It dead then. We climb and climb and finally see it: City with name that start with Z. Hey, it not shiny at all. Kimahri so disappointed. So we go down to city and make camp fire for the night. Blond boy from 1000 years ago then decide to tell story of our craptastic adventures. Kimahri once again had to shut off oxygen supply to brain to be able to stay sane."
~Yay! I'm somewhat nearly done with this garbage! After this, I must write a lemon! So...perverted...must write...about...nasty things! Mwahahahaha!~Silver Neko