Disclaimer: The characters of The Sentinel are not mine, nor are the concepts. I'm just playing.
-------------
Sandburg's Law
by M.
--------------
Flush! Plink!
"Awww...man!"
When Jim Ellison heard those sounds emanate from the loft's bathroom he was
immediately concerned but stayed where he was. On the couch with the paper.
Whatever it was he was sure Sandburg could handle it.
Just in case, however, he kept one ear trained on the small bathroom. Which
proved to be hilarious.
"Oh great! Way to go Sandburg! How are you gonna tell Jim this one!"
Splashing and a few curses.
"Keep talking to yourself Blair and the big guy is going to hear you." He
said, scolding himself.
Heavy sigh.
"How do I get myself into these messes?" He spoke again. "Jim is so gonna kill
me."
The young man fell silent and moments later Blair walked out. Looking about
three feet under his natural height.
Jim glanced over his paper when he sat in the chair across from him.
The anthropologist looked like a small boy who'd been caught stealing apples.
He returned his gaze to the page before him. Blair'd talk when he was ready. Of
course, his patience didn't mean he couldn't wait to find out what was going on.
His curiosity was killing him.
Almost a half hour later a small voice spoke. "Uh...Jim?"
Jim lowered the paper, trying to conceal his grin. "Yeah Chief?"
Blair coughed nervously. "I...uh...I kinda...I mean it was a total accident...."
"Spit it out Blair." Jim ordered, his grin escaping.
"I flushed something down the toilet." He confessed in a rush, looking
guilty.
Ellison's grin spread. "You did what?"
"I flushed something down the toilet." The Guide repeated in a low mumble.
"What was it?"
He looked up. "Huh?"
"What did you lose down the toilet?" Jim clarified, standing.
He blushed brightly. "Roller." He mumbled even lower than his confession.
"Roller? What roller?" Jim asked, his eyebrows drawing together.
A slight shrug. "The TP roller."
"The what?" Jim asked, his tone slightly exasperated.
"The roller you put the toilet paper on!" Blair responded in a frustrated burst.
He paused, processing that. "You flushed that down the toilet? How?" He asked
with a shake of his head.
He shifted uncomfortably. "I...uh...I used the...er...facilities...then I
realized the toilet paper had run out so I took out another roll and tried to
put it on the roller...the damn thing bounced out of my hands and was gone
before I could stop it." Blair looked as if he either wanted to melt through the
floor.
Jim took one look at his best friend then doubled over laughing.
"I can't believe you flushed the roller down the toilet!" He managed before
losing it again.
"Aw...c'mon Jim! This isn't funny!" Blair protested, watching the Sentinel's
amusement. "It's not man! Embarrassing yes, funny...no."
"Sorry Chief." Jim said when he stopped laughing. "It's just that, don't most
people do that kind of stuff when they're kids?"
Blair smiled wryly. "I'm a late flusher."
"Bad joke man." Jim said grinning. "Now, where are the scrubbing gloves."
"The what?"
"The ugly yellow gloves we use for cleaning the bathroom. The ones with the
powder."
Blair made a face. "Oh those. There's a new pack under the kitchen sink. Last
pair got pretty gunky so I tossed 'em and bought more."
"Yeah they were pretty disgusting." He said, heading into the kitchen. He
returned with the package in hand. Opening the package he pulled out
the gloves. "This should be an interesting experience."
"Don't forget to dial down your sense of smell."
Ten minutes later, after repeated attempts to fish out the roller, Jim sat back
with a sigh. "Well, if a coat hanger, a plunger and our hands couldn't find it
then it must have made it down into the pipes. I'd say its caught in the trap."
"Trap?"
"Yeah. Its that u-shaped pipe back there. Its built to make sure the gases and
stuff don't come back to haunt you so to speak." Jim explained. "It also helps
to catch anything you accidentally flush." He snuck a grin at his friend. "Like
a roller."
"So we have to disconnect the pipes from the toilet." Blair said as Jim pushed
to his feet.
"Yep." He said, walking past the younger man. He returned with a tool box in
hand. Which, thanks to Daryl, was now marked 'The Sandburg Kit' (The First aid
kit also bore that title). "So, how about a lesson in plumbing?"
"Had one thank you." Blair responded. "I spent a summer apprenticing with a
plumber."
He turned a skeptical look on his friend. "You apprenticed with a plumber and
you don't know what a trap is?"
Blair ducked his head. "Well it was only for a couple of weeks. We never got to
traps."
He laughed and shook his head. "You and your obfuscations." He said with a
chuckle.
"Are the spice of life."
It took only a few minutes for Jim, with Blair's dubious help, to disconnect the
pipes.
Making sure his sense of smell was dialed down to almost nil, Jim reached into
the trap and pulled out the missing roller.
"Voila!" He announced, dropping the roller into the sink. "Now mix up some
disinfectant in warm water and we'll clean up this place. Might as well take the
opportunity when its presented."
"Sure." Blair responded before going into the kitchen to find the Mr. Clean.
Which he mixed up in a bucket they kept with it. He then carried it back to the
bathroom.
They spent another half hour cleaning up the bathroom before they put their
supplies away and collapsed on the couch.
"I have to admit it Blair...You really know how to liven up an otherwise regular
evening." Jim said with a grin. "And for once it didn't involve one of us making
a trip to Cascade General."
"Very funny man," Blair countered dryly.
"Naw, that's nothing compared to what the guys, down at Major Crimes, are gonna
do when they find out about this."
His eyes widened in alarm. "NO! Jim! You can't tell the guys about this!"
"And why not?" Jim's grin widened. "They'll get such a kick out of it."
He shook his head wildly. "No way man! They'll never let me live it down!"
"True." The other man agreed. "Your point?"
Blair exhaled loudly. "My point is I'll never hear the end of it." He looked
over at his friend. "C'mon Jim...don't tell them...please?"
"Gimme one good reason."
He thought for a minute then spoke. "You're the one who stuck his hand in a
sewage pipe." He said finally. "What do you think they'll say about that?"
Jim snorted. "Given the fact you're the one who started everything I think
they'll ignore it."
He frowned. Jim was right. "I'll wash the truck."
"And?"
"And wax it."
Jim raised an eyebrow. "And?"
Blair sighed. "I won't leave any bugs of any kind in the fridge for two months."
"Unless we're going fishing." Jim stated.
"Unless we're going fishing." He held out a hand. "Deal?"
Jim shook the proffered hand. "Deal." He grinned. "You're reputation is safe for
two months..at least."
The anthropologist raised an eyebrow. "'Scuse me?"
"Well I may need you to do something else." Jim said reaching for his paper.
"Blackmail Detective?"
"Let's just call it a favor with mutual benefit." Jim countered not looking up.
"Besides, do you see a badge?"
Blair groaned. "Why me?" He asked of no one.
"Sandburg's Law." Jim answered with a grin. "It make's Murphy's look like a warm
up."
Finis
-------------
Sandburg's Law
by M.
--------------
Flush! Plink!
"Awww...man!"
When Jim Ellison heard those sounds emanate from the loft's bathroom he was
immediately concerned but stayed where he was. On the couch with the paper.
Whatever it was he was sure Sandburg could handle it.
Just in case, however, he kept one ear trained on the small bathroom. Which
proved to be hilarious.
"Oh great! Way to go Sandburg! How are you gonna tell Jim this one!"
Splashing and a few curses.
"Keep talking to yourself Blair and the big guy is going to hear you." He
said, scolding himself.
Heavy sigh.
"How do I get myself into these messes?" He spoke again. "Jim is so gonna kill
me."
The young man fell silent and moments later Blair walked out. Looking about
three feet under his natural height.
Jim glanced over his paper when he sat in the chair across from him.
The anthropologist looked like a small boy who'd been caught stealing apples.
He returned his gaze to the page before him. Blair'd talk when he was ready. Of
course, his patience didn't mean he couldn't wait to find out what was going on.
His curiosity was killing him.
Almost a half hour later a small voice spoke. "Uh...Jim?"
Jim lowered the paper, trying to conceal his grin. "Yeah Chief?"
Blair coughed nervously. "I...uh...I kinda...I mean it was a total accident...."
"Spit it out Blair." Jim ordered, his grin escaping.
"I flushed something down the toilet." He confessed in a rush, looking
guilty.
Ellison's grin spread. "You did what?"
"I flushed something down the toilet." The Guide repeated in a low mumble.
"What was it?"
He looked up. "Huh?"
"What did you lose down the toilet?" Jim clarified, standing.
He blushed brightly. "Roller." He mumbled even lower than his confession.
"Roller? What roller?" Jim asked, his eyebrows drawing together.
A slight shrug. "The TP roller."
"The what?" Jim asked, his tone slightly exasperated.
"The roller you put the toilet paper on!" Blair responded in a frustrated burst.
He paused, processing that. "You flushed that down the toilet? How?" He asked
with a shake of his head.
He shifted uncomfortably. "I...uh...I used the...er...facilities...then I
realized the toilet paper had run out so I took out another roll and tried to
put it on the roller...the damn thing bounced out of my hands and was gone
before I could stop it." Blair looked as if he either wanted to melt through the
floor.
Jim took one look at his best friend then doubled over laughing.
"I can't believe you flushed the roller down the toilet!" He managed before
losing it again.
"Aw...c'mon Jim! This isn't funny!" Blair protested, watching the Sentinel's
amusement. "It's not man! Embarrassing yes, funny...no."
"Sorry Chief." Jim said when he stopped laughing. "It's just that, don't most
people do that kind of stuff when they're kids?"
Blair smiled wryly. "I'm a late flusher."
"Bad joke man." Jim said grinning. "Now, where are the scrubbing gloves."
"The what?"
"The ugly yellow gloves we use for cleaning the bathroom. The ones with the
powder."
Blair made a face. "Oh those. There's a new pack under the kitchen sink. Last
pair got pretty gunky so I tossed 'em and bought more."
"Yeah they were pretty disgusting." He said, heading into the kitchen. He
returned with the package in hand. Opening the package he pulled out
the gloves. "This should be an interesting experience."
"Don't forget to dial down your sense of smell."
Ten minutes later, after repeated attempts to fish out the roller, Jim sat back
with a sigh. "Well, if a coat hanger, a plunger and our hands couldn't find it
then it must have made it down into the pipes. I'd say its caught in the trap."
"Trap?"
"Yeah. Its that u-shaped pipe back there. Its built to make sure the gases and
stuff don't come back to haunt you so to speak." Jim explained. "It also helps
to catch anything you accidentally flush." He snuck a grin at his friend. "Like
a roller."
"So we have to disconnect the pipes from the toilet." Blair said as Jim pushed
to his feet.
"Yep." He said, walking past the younger man. He returned with a tool box in
hand. Which, thanks to Daryl, was now marked 'The Sandburg Kit' (The First aid
kit also bore that title). "So, how about a lesson in plumbing?"
"Had one thank you." Blair responded. "I spent a summer apprenticing with a
plumber."
He turned a skeptical look on his friend. "You apprenticed with a plumber and
you don't know what a trap is?"
Blair ducked his head. "Well it was only for a couple of weeks. We never got to
traps."
He laughed and shook his head. "You and your obfuscations." He said with a
chuckle.
"Are the spice of life."
It took only a few minutes for Jim, with Blair's dubious help, to disconnect the
pipes.
Making sure his sense of smell was dialed down to almost nil, Jim reached into
the trap and pulled out the missing roller.
"Voila!" He announced, dropping the roller into the sink. "Now mix up some
disinfectant in warm water and we'll clean up this place. Might as well take the
opportunity when its presented."
"Sure." Blair responded before going into the kitchen to find the Mr. Clean.
Which he mixed up in a bucket they kept with it. He then carried it back to the
bathroom.
They spent another half hour cleaning up the bathroom before they put their
supplies away and collapsed on the couch.
"I have to admit it Blair...You really know how to liven up an otherwise regular
evening." Jim said with a grin. "And for once it didn't involve one of us making
a trip to Cascade General."
"Very funny man," Blair countered dryly.
"Naw, that's nothing compared to what the guys, down at Major Crimes, are gonna
do when they find out about this."
His eyes widened in alarm. "NO! Jim! You can't tell the guys about this!"
"And why not?" Jim's grin widened. "They'll get such a kick out of it."
He shook his head wildly. "No way man! They'll never let me live it down!"
"True." The other man agreed. "Your point?"
Blair exhaled loudly. "My point is I'll never hear the end of it." He looked
over at his friend. "C'mon Jim...don't tell them...please?"
"Gimme one good reason."
He thought for a minute then spoke. "You're the one who stuck his hand in a
sewage pipe." He said finally. "What do you think they'll say about that?"
Jim snorted. "Given the fact you're the one who started everything I think
they'll ignore it."
He frowned. Jim was right. "I'll wash the truck."
"And?"
"And wax it."
Jim raised an eyebrow. "And?"
Blair sighed. "I won't leave any bugs of any kind in the fridge for two months."
"Unless we're going fishing." Jim stated.
"Unless we're going fishing." He held out a hand. "Deal?"
Jim shook the proffered hand. "Deal." He grinned. "You're reputation is safe for
two months..at least."
The anthropologist raised an eyebrow. "'Scuse me?"
"Well I may need you to do something else." Jim said reaching for his paper.
"Blackmail Detective?"
"Let's just call it a favor with mutual benefit." Jim countered not looking up.
"Besides, do you see a badge?"
Blair groaned. "Why me?" He asked of no one.
"Sandburg's Law." Jim answered with a grin. "It make's Murphy's look like a warm
up."
Finis