Title: The Closet of No Return
Author: Julia
Spoilers: Up to and including 100,000 Airplanes
Disclaimer: After you read this there should be no doubt that I have nothing to do with the characters in an official capacity.
Summary: Um, don't ask me.
Archive: Just ask.
Feedback: If you're so inclined [jmarie_ib01@yahoo.com]
Notes: So I was up late tonight working and this little plot bunny wouldn't leave me alone, so I wrote it down. I wouldn't be surprised if it makes no sense at all; I just needed to reassure myself that Amy is going away.
The Closet of No Return
"Where am I?"
"Storage closet."
"Um, why?"
"They're through with you."
"What are you talking about I'm a love interest, they can't just get rid of a character who is supposed to have emotional attachments to another."
A woman with long hair snickered, pointed to her companions, and answered, "You might want to tell them that."
"What do you mean?" you asked as she scanned the occupants of the room. One was the woman with long hair. Two had short hair, one red, and one black. The third was a man with a beard and a notepad.
The woman with short, dark hair looked incredibly pissed. "How did they get rid of you?" she asked.
"They didn't 'get rid of me.' I just had a fight with Josh-"
The angry woman started laughing uncontrollably. "You're- you're Josh Lyman's love interest?"
"Yeah. So?"
"Man, I feel for you," said the most compassionate of the women, the redhead.
"Yeah, you never had a chance." The man had stopped scribbling and was looking at you piteously.
The woman with long hair came over to you and placed a hand on your shoulder. "You'll get used to it here. They feed us and give us water pretty regularly. The lighting could be better, but you learn to live with it."
"I don't know exactly what you're thinking, but I can assure you that this is just a misunderstanding. This is just temporary, they haven't written me off the show."
"Well, as long as they made her likable," said the redheaded woman. "I mean we thought that deaf woman was headed here for sure, but she's been really busy."
"Did you give him a pet?" asked the man.
"What?"
"A pet. Like a goldfish, or something."
"Um, no."
"Well, at least tell me that you two debated policy, you know, school vouchers, English as the national language."
"No, not really."
"So what exactly did you do?" asked the angry woman.
"We went out a few times. I hit him over the head a little, told him about my education, and wit and charm. I was perfect; assertive, willing to tell him how to handle romance."
The angry woman began grinning nastily, while the others began to shake their heads and look at you with a lot of pity in their eyes.
"That's pretty much what she did," said the woman with the longer hair, indicating the angry woman.
"But- I'm different. I was dating a congressman," you explained, this fact making you feel more secure in your position.
"Lloyd Russell?" asked the angry woman, and the others fought back laughter at the inside joke. It was becoming readily apparent that the angry woman had some serious issues.
The man offered you his seat. "Come sit down. It's a lot to take in."
"So, none of you ever got out of here?" you asked desperately, as you took a seat.
The two dark haired women both stiffened, the redhead answered, waving her hand in the space between her and the man, "We got out long enough to wrap up some loose ends."
"They didn't?"
"I'm told I wasn't likeable," said the angry woman, not hiding her resentment.
"And you?" you asked, indicating the woman with long hair.
She simply shrugged and said, "I stole pastries."
Everyone went back to doing what they had been before. The man started writing in his notebook. The redhead and the woman with long hair began a card game. The angry woman just stared out into space.
"Why were you all so sure about what would happen to me as Josh's love interest?"
"They have other plans for him," said the man, not looking up.
"What are you talking about?"
"Ever meet his assistant?" asked the angry woman, never moving her eyes from the wall in front of her.
"No," you said, knowing where this was going. "And he didn't mention her, if that's what you're thinking. I just brought her up once, to see if they were dating."
"At least I never did that." Again, the scary woman spoke. "I was an unpleasant person, but at least I never had to advance another couple's plot."
"He's got a thing for his assistant?"
"You really didn't know? That's sad." The look on the redhead's face made you feel about six inches tall.
"I think that's why they kept Joey. She knew about it and they could use that," said the man.
You were just about to ask to join the game when the door opened and a young, rather short man was pushed through it.
"What am I doing here?" he asked.
"God, I wish they'd stop writing disposable characters," complained the woman with long hair. "There's only so much room in here."
You recognized the new man and realized that you were never getting out of here. "I think you're gonna be here a while," you said, resigned to your fate as a plot device.
Author: Julia
Spoilers: Up to and including 100,000 Airplanes
Disclaimer: After you read this there should be no doubt that I have nothing to do with the characters in an official capacity.
Summary: Um, don't ask me.
Archive: Just ask.
Feedback: If you're so inclined [jmarie_ib01@yahoo.com]
Notes: So I was up late tonight working and this little plot bunny wouldn't leave me alone, so I wrote it down. I wouldn't be surprised if it makes no sense at all; I just needed to reassure myself that Amy is going away.
The Closet of No Return
"Where am I?"
"Storage closet."
"Um, why?"
"They're through with you."
"What are you talking about I'm a love interest, they can't just get rid of a character who is supposed to have emotional attachments to another."
A woman with long hair snickered, pointed to her companions, and answered, "You might want to tell them that."
"What do you mean?" you asked as she scanned the occupants of the room. One was the woman with long hair. Two had short hair, one red, and one black. The third was a man with a beard and a notepad.
The woman with short, dark hair looked incredibly pissed. "How did they get rid of you?" she asked.
"They didn't 'get rid of me.' I just had a fight with Josh-"
The angry woman started laughing uncontrollably. "You're- you're Josh Lyman's love interest?"
"Yeah. So?"
"Man, I feel for you," said the most compassionate of the women, the redhead.
"Yeah, you never had a chance." The man had stopped scribbling and was looking at you piteously.
The woman with long hair came over to you and placed a hand on your shoulder. "You'll get used to it here. They feed us and give us water pretty regularly. The lighting could be better, but you learn to live with it."
"I don't know exactly what you're thinking, but I can assure you that this is just a misunderstanding. This is just temporary, they haven't written me off the show."
"Well, as long as they made her likable," said the redheaded woman. "I mean we thought that deaf woman was headed here for sure, but she's been really busy."
"Did you give him a pet?" asked the man.
"What?"
"A pet. Like a goldfish, or something."
"Um, no."
"Well, at least tell me that you two debated policy, you know, school vouchers, English as the national language."
"No, not really."
"So what exactly did you do?" asked the angry woman.
"We went out a few times. I hit him over the head a little, told him about my education, and wit and charm. I was perfect; assertive, willing to tell him how to handle romance."
The angry woman began grinning nastily, while the others began to shake their heads and look at you with a lot of pity in their eyes.
"That's pretty much what she did," said the woman with the longer hair, indicating the angry woman.
"But- I'm different. I was dating a congressman," you explained, this fact making you feel more secure in your position.
"Lloyd Russell?" asked the angry woman, and the others fought back laughter at the inside joke. It was becoming readily apparent that the angry woman had some serious issues.
The man offered you his seat. "Come sit down. It's a lot to take in."
"So, none of you ever got out of here?" you asked desperately, as you took a seat.
The two dark haired women both stiffened, the redhead answered, waving her hand in the space between her and the man, "We got out long enough to wrap up some loose ends."
"They didn't?"
"I'm told I wasn't likeable," said the angry woman, not hiding her resentment.
"And you?" you asked, indicating the woman with long hair.
She simply shrugged and said, "I stole pastries."
Everyone went back to doing what they had been before. The man started writing in his notebook. The redhead and the woman with long hair began a card game. The angry woman just stared out into space.
"Why were you all so sure about what would happen to me as Josh's love interest?"
"They have other plans for him," said the man, not looking up.
"What are you talking about?"
"Ever meet his assistant?" asked the angry woman, never moving her eyes from the wall in front of her.
"No," you said, knowing where this was going. "And he didn't mention her, if that's what you're thinking. I just brought her up once, to see if they were dating."
"At least I never did that." Again, the scary woman spoke. "I was an unpleasant person, but at least I never had to advance another couple's plot."
"He's got a thing for his assistant?"
"You really didn't know? That's sad." The look on the redhead's face made you feel about six inches tall.
"I think that's why they kept Joey. She knew about it and they could use that," said the man.
You were just about to ask to join the game when the door opened and a young, rather short man was pushed through it.
"What am I doing here?" he asked.
"God, I wish they'd stop writing disposable characters," complained the woman with long hair. "There's only so much room in here."
You recognized the new man and realized that you were never getting out of here. "I think you're gonna be here a while," you said, resigned to your fate as a plot device.