Bobcat
:WAITING
(dramatic orchestra hit)
Bobcat Goldthwait: Yes! Hello, if you are watching us on other planets, I want you to know that...on Earth, I am the leader, I rule! Everyone on Earth must follow me! Ha ha ha ha! (Aside) Don't tell them the turth, ok, Mewtwo?
(Opening theme music and titles)
Mewtwo: (Appears) Greetings! I'm Mewtwo, welcome to the show. Joining me tonight, comedian Bobcat Goldthwait, and rock and roll citizens The Ramones.
Lugia: (jamming) Hey, ho, let's go! Hey, ho, let's go!
Mewtwo: Lugia is all geeked up about the Ramones being here. (Lugia keeps jamming) That's good, Lugia. (keeps jamming) That's enough Lugia. (keeps jamming) LUGIA! (jamming winds down and stops) My first guest (one more not interrupts Mewtwo) ... (taps cards) My first guest is a comedian. He is Bobcat Goldthwait, welcome him! (Intro music plays & screen lowers; Lugia's face is on the screen instead of Bobcat)
Lugia: (imitating Bobcat) Uh, hi, Mewtwo!
Mewtwo: Aaah!
Lugia: (normal voice) Your show is lame.
Mewtwo: Are you done, Lugia?
Lugia: I'm Bobcat, interveiw me!
Mewtwo: You're not fooling anyone, Lugia, we know it's you.
Lugia: Is this how you treat your guests?
Mewtwo: Eneti!
Lugia: Wait!
(Eneti watches Lugia on monitor with the following caption, in mirror image writing:)
Divvi Luggehelicoptera 2:3.9
Phly Disgustis 7
Eagle Icky 3.5
Creepy Cra {?}
Waterhopps
Silver Pale {?}
Surplus {?}
DIVING BIRD LINK
Eneti: Sorry, man. Boss's orders. (throws lever)
Lugia: NO! (zaps off screen; new image is infinite regressioin of Mewtwo's set)
Mewtwo: Hey, it's me, watching me, watching me, watching me!
Eneti: Simpleton Pokémon!
Mewtwo: Are you lookin' at me? You must be lookin' at me. There's no one else here...(shoots at screem twice with psybeam) (laughs) Alrighty!
Eneti: Gawd, LOSER! (throws switch again, Bobcat appears)
Mewtwo: Hello, Bobcat, welcome to the show.
Bobcat Goldthwait: Hi, Mewtwo, how are you today?
Mewtwo: I'm energized, just like a jittering woodchuck. You know, when they cling to the side of a tree, and their jaws move up and down and up and down over and over really fast gaining speed until its just a blur of vibrating gums and lips (mouth becomes a blur) Energized! (more subdues) And, how are you, Bobcat?
Bobcat Goldthwait: I'm livin' a dream, thanks a lot for having me back on the show.
Mewtwo: Well, we're certainly glad to have you back on the show.
Bobcat Goldthwait: Although I've never been on your show before, you...
Mewtwo: Of course you haven't.
Bobcat Goldthwait: You look pretty good.
Mewtwo: That because I've been lifting heavy boulders and have lots of psy powers.
Bobcat Goldthwait: Really? Yeah, well, it shows, you look pretty cut, you look pretty buff.
Mewtwo: Well, aren't you sweet? I like you, Bobcat.
Bobcat Goldthwait: I like you, Mewtwo. I got a question, what's what's your real name?
Mewtwo: Ummm...
Lugia: Kowalski Fredrick.
Mewtwo: (glares at Lugia)
Bobcat Goldthwait: Kowalski Fredrick? Really? Stick with Mewtwo, much cooler.
Mewtwo: (face turns red) Er, I agree.
Bobcat Goldthwait: Wouldn't really work on the babes too much in a bar.
Mewtwo: (face turns beet red) I, I agree...
Bobcat Goldthwait: "Hi, I'm Kowalski"?
Mewtwo: I realize that! (pause) Lugia's real name is Jamie Cann.
Lugia: (looking surprised) What?
Bobcat Goldthwait: (laughs) Hi, Lugia, how ya doin', pleasure to be on the show.
Lugia: Oh no, the pleasure is all mine! (Through his psychic mind) (Pathetic Earthling! Your feeble words do not amuse me!)
Bobcat Goldthwait: Lugia? Do you eat your young?
Lugia: (looks surprised) Uh, um...
Mewtwo: Lugia eats anything, young, old, and then some! (Bobcat makes "Lugia" faces while Mewtwo talks) Say, Bobcat is a good name! Tell us, what's your secret identity?
Bobcat Goldthwait: My secret identity? Like, if you saw me in real life?
Mewtwo: Uh...
Lugia: Yeah, like if he saw you in real life.
Bobcat Goldthwait: Uhhhhh...I...Joey Lawrence.
Mewtwo: Get out! I've got your album!
Bobcat Goldthwait: Yeah, girl, you know it's true.
Mewtwo: I hear Blossom hates you.
Bobcat Goldthwait: Kowalski!
Mewtwo: Well?
Bobcat Goldthwait: See, it's an issue right now, and I feel strong about it.
Mewtwo: You don't look very strong.
Bobcat Goldthwait: Well, I may look small, but I'm pretty wiry.
Mewtwo: Sorry.
Bobcat Goldthwait: Mewtwo, I've got a question for you, and this isn't, I'm not trying to be weird or anything, but...do you think I'm pretty?
Mewtwo: (looks back blankly)
Bobcat Goldthwait: Just like another guy to a guy?
Mewtwo: (pause) Ummm...yes! I think you're a pretty man.
Bobcat Goldthwait: Thank you. I think you're pretty handsome yourself, Mewtwo.Although the eagle, hmmm, I dunno.
Lugia: (glares at him, Lugia's cry from PKMN Gold and Silver plays)
Mewtwo: Hmmmmm, I see what you mean...but on a serious note, Bobcat, how would you stop crime in America?
Bobcat Goldthwait: I think you wanna stop crime in America, you say a very special episode of "Blossom" where the entire cast gets ball-peen hammers in the knee-caps.
Mewtwo: Ooooh...
Bobcat Goldthwait: I promise you there'll be a half-hour of non-violent America. Because everybody'd be glued to the set. "Hey, they hit Joey Lawrence in the knee cap yet?"
Mewtwo: You think that could work?
Bobcat Goldthwait: Well, no, not really, perhaps, I, I need to loosen my pants.
Mewtwo: Go ahead!
Bobcat Goldthwait: (loosens pants, sound of pressure escaping) Oooo! Man, I feel better already! Wooo!
Mewtwo: You should try spandex!
Bobcat Goldthwait: Yeah, you know, I'm actually one of the only superheroes that wear leisure suits.
Mewtwo: Speaking on heroes, who are yours?
Bobcat Goldthwait: Wow! Um, geez, I dunno, I like all the greats you know, Curly. I think that's what my coif actually looks like, what if Rutger Hauer and Curly Howard pounded out a baby..."Hey, Moe. I'm a replicant! Ne ne ne ne ne!" (makes Stooge hand and face gesture)
Mewtwo: (laughs) (Replicants were the evil creation of Dr. Zin) (aloud) Ahem, let's see, where am I? (mumbles) Oh! Who's your arch enemy?
Bobcat Goldthwait: John Tesh.
Mewtwo: The composer?
Bobcat Goldthwait: The whole man. John Tesh scares me.
Mewtwo: Say, do you have any super powers?
Bobcat Goldthwait: Yeah, what size TM are you?
Mewtwo: Colossal! Why?
Bobcat Goldthwait: Because I have a, I'm usually like a, a small TM, believe it or not, but I've been retaining a lot of fluids lately, so, probably a medium TM.
Mewtwo: How about anice pleated skirt?
Bobcat Goldthwait: Boy, Mewtwo, you're really switching gears!
Mewtwo: Hey, it's a 15 minute show! And, we need to take a break.
Bobcat Goldthwait: What's the eagle's name again, I'm sorry?
Mewtwo: Lugia.
Bobcat Goldthwait: Oh, yeah.
Mewtwo: Lugia. I like saying "Lugia".
Bobcat Goldthwait: Lugia, play me something public domain.
Lugia: (plays something from their vast easy listening library)
Mewtwo: We'll be right back after this.
Lugia: It appears we will be right back.
:INTERRUPT FEED
:START FEED
Lugia: Uh, because no one can stop it, the show is back...
(Theme music plays in background)
Bobcat Goldthwait: Barney's going to make more kids snap than Bugs Bunny.
Mewtwo: Uh huh.
Bobcat Goldthwait: A kid knows Bugs Bunny's joking around, kids think Barney's for real!
Mewtwo: Uh huh.
Bobcat Goldthwait: "I love you", you don't love us, Barney, you don't even know us!
Mewtwo: Ok! We're back with Bobcat Goldthwait! I understand you have spcial powers.
Bobcat Goldthwait: Yes. I'm able to, uh, bend forks.
Mewtwo: Wow!
Bobcat Goldthwait: But only at Denny's. Any other kind of forks I don't seem to able to bend.
Mewtwo: Wow, now, is that physically or mentally? Or perhaps Psychically?
Bobcat Goldthwait: Um, I do it with my mind...but you gotta look away, really, for a little while.
Mewtwo: When I said you were pretty, I meant you remind me of Judy Collins.
Bobcat Goldthwait: Judy Collins? (laughs) Wow, Mewtwo, man, crack a window, will ya?
Mewtwo: I'd be violently sucked into space.
Eneti: Heh, then maybe people would tune in.
Bobcat Goldthwait: Well, I think Eneti's giving us the signal to wrap it up, huh, Mewtwo?
Mewtwo: No, Bobcat, that's just his way of telling us to finish the interveiw. Join us for dinner after the show?
Bobcat Goldthwait: Thanks, I'd love to join you for dinner, but I don't know about eating with no gigantic eagle. Don't they spit on their food first and then mulch it up and spit it back out?
Lugia: THAT is regurgitational ingestion, flies and Venomoths do it, not eagles.
Bobcat Goldthwait: Yeah, well that, but you know, that's exactly how I eat, so, perhaps I will dine with you.
Mewtwo: Alrighty! We'll meet you in the chamber after the show. Any parting words?
Bobcat Goldthwait: Mewtwo, I want to party with you.
Mewtwo: You mean with a party cake and lemonade and paper hats?
Bobcat Goldthwait: Perhaps, perhaps.
Mewtwo: Alrighty then! My next guests are Lugia's favorite band. Please welcome the Ramones!
Bobcat Goldthwait: Thanks, man.
(The Ramones appear on the screen)
Lugia: Hey, Joey.
Joey Ramone: (waves)
Mewtwo: Ok then. Identify yourselves, Ramones.
Johnny Ramone: I'm Johnny Ramone.
Marky Ramone: I'm Marky Ramone.
Joey Ramone: And I'm Joey.
C.J. Ramone: And I'm C.J.
Lugia: And I'm Lugia Ramone.
Eneti: And I'm Eneti Ramone.
Mewtwo: (to camera) They're not really Ramones. (to Ramones) Say, fellas, tell us about your new record.
Johnny Ramone: "Acid Eaters", that's our later album, it's a cover album of, uh, songs that were recorded in, um, generally around the 1967-68, period of time.
Mewtwo: And it's just now coming out?
Ramones: (laughs)
Mewtwo: Ok, on your thrid album "Rocket Fuel", (makes gibberish noises) Too many cokes!
Ramones: (laughs)
Mewtwo: Ah ha haa! Hey! Tell me about your music.
C.J. Ramone: It's snappy.
Johnny Ramone: It's always meant for rebellious kids.
Mewtwo: Rebellious?
Johnny Ramone: Uhhh, we're a bunch of punks.
Mewtwo: Hmmm...well, you just listen to me, you punks, I don't want any trouble from you. This is a good show. This is a clean show. This is a good clean show.
C.J. Ramone: You ever get a wedgie with a fold? It's not pleasant. (laughs)
Mewtwo: Uhhh...
Bobcat Goldthwait: (on control room monitor, with Eagle text from before, to Eneti) This is going as well as the Letterman-Madonna interveiw.
Eneti: Yup.
Mewtwo: Allll right then, you punks, you're musicians, make something up for me.
Marky Ramone: Well, how about: "way, we-we-way, wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah, way way way way way way-we-way."
Mewtwo: "Way way way", that's catchy!
Joey Ramone: It was subliminal.
Marky Ramone: That was, that was the instrumental part.
Mewtwo: Ah! Uh, now do the word part.
Marky Ramone: How about: "Mewtwo, Mewtwo, you're the most, from coast to coast..."
Mewtwo: Listen, we have to go. Bobcat invited me to a party, with a party cake and lemonade and paper hats, and you can't come because you're punks and punks don't go to parties. Hey, you guys got a cake!
Marky Ramone: It's a nice chocolate vinilla.
Johnny Ramone: There's plates right there...
Mewtwo: Hey! Where'd you guys get that cake?
(All Ramones are "wearing" paper hats)
Marky Ramone: You want a piece of this?
C.J. Romane: Yeah.
Mewtwo: That's my party cake! Where did you guys get my party cake? Who gave them my party cake? I want my party cake! That was specifically definitely for Bobcat and me! Lugia! Did you give them my party cake?
Lugia: (with paper hat and crumbs falling out of mouth) Uh, what party cake?
Eneti: (with paper hat and cake) Mmmm, chocolate party cake.
(Credits roll. New Island in credits wearing a party hat)
Marky Ramone: "Way, we-we-way, wah wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah, way way way way way way we-way. (skip) we-way. (skip) we-way. (skip) we-way. " (fade out)
:WAITING
(dramatic orchestra hit)
Bobcat Goldthwait: Yes! Hello, if you are watching us on other planets, I want you to know that...on Earth, I am the leader, I rule! Everyone on Earth must follow me! Ha ha ha ha! (Aside) Don't tell them the turth, ok, Mewtwo?
(Opening theme music and titles)
Mewtwo: (Appears) Greetings! I'm Mewtwo, welcome to the show. Joining me tonight, comedian Bobcat Goldthwait, and rock and roll citizens The Ramones.
Lugia: (jamming) Hey, ho, let's go! Hey, ho, let's go!
Mewtwo: Lugia is all geeked up about the Ramones being here. (Lugia keeps jamming) That's good, Lugia. (keeps jamming) That's enough Lugia. (keeps jamming) LUGIA! (jamming winds down and stops) My first guest (one more not interrupts Mewtwo) ... (taps cards) My first guest is a comedian. He is Bobcat Goldthwait, welcome him! (Intro music plays & screen lowers; Lugia's face is on the screen instead of Bobcat)
Lugia: (imitating Bobcat) Uh, hi, Mewtwo!
Mewtwo: Aaah!
Lugia: (normal voice) Your show is lame.
Mewtwo: Are you done, Lugia?
Lugia: I'm Bobcat, interveiw me!
Mewtwo: You're not fooling anyone, Lugia, we know it's you.
Lugia: Is this how you treat your guests?
Mewtwo: Eneti!
Lugia: Wait!
(Eneti watches Lugia on monitor with the following caption, in mirror image writing:)
Divvi Luggehelicoptera 2:3.9
Phly Disgustis 7
Eagle Icky 3.5
Creepy Cra {?}
Waterhopps
Silver Pale {?}
Surplus {?}
DIVING BIRD LINK
Eneti: Sorry, man. Boss's orders. (throws lever)
Lugia: NO! (zaps off screen; new image is infinite regressioin of Mewtwo's set)
Mewtwo: Hey, it's me, watching me, watching me, watching me!
Eneti: Simpleton Pokémon!
Mewtwo: Are you lookin' at me? You must be lookin' at me. There's no one else here...(shoots at screem twice with psybeam) (laughs) Alrighty!
Eneti: Gawd, LOSER! (throws switch again, Bobcat appears)
Mewtwo: Hello, Bobcat, welcome to the show.
Bobcat Goldthwait: Hi, Mewtwo, how are you today?
Mewtwo: I'm energized, just like a jittering woodchuck. You know, when they cling to the side of a tree, and their jaws move up and down and up and down over and over really fast gaining speed until its just a blur of vibrating gums and lips (mouth becomes a blur) Energized! (more subdues) And, how are you, Bobcat?
Bobcat Goldthwait: I'm livin' a dream, thanks a lot for having me back on the show.
Mewtwo: Well, we're certainly glad to have you back on the show.
Bobcat Goldthwait: Although I've never been on your show before, you...
Mewtwo: Of course you haven't.
Bobcat Goldthwait: You look pretty good.
Mewtwo: That because I've been lifting heavy boulders and have lots of psy powers.
Bobcat Goldthwait: Really? Yeah, well, it shows, you look pretty cut, you look pretty buff.
Mewtwo: Well, aren't you sweet? I like you, Bobcat.
Bobcat Goldthwait: I like you, Mewtwo. I got a question, what's what's your real name?
Mewtwo: Ummm...
Lugia: Kowalski Fredrick.
Mewtwo: (glares at Lugia)
Bobcat Goldthwait: Kowalski Fredrick? Really? Stick with Mewtwo, much cooler.
Mewtwo: (face turns red) Er, I agree.
Bobcat Goldthwait: Wouldn't really work on the babes too much in a bar.
Mewtwo: (face turns beet red) I, I agree...
Bobcat Goldthwait: "Hi, I'm Kowalski"?
Mewtwo: I realize that! (pause) Lugia's real name is Jamie Cann.
Lugia: (looking surprised) What?
Bobcat Goldthwait: (laughs) Hi, Lugia, how ya doin', pleasure to be on the show.
Lugia: Oh no, the pleasure is all mine! (Through his psychic mind) (Pathetic Earthling! Your feeble words do not amuse me!)
Bobcat Goldthwait: Lugia? Do you eat your young?
Lugia: (looks surprised) Uh, um...
Mewtwo: Lugia eats anything, young, old, and then some! (Bobcat makes "Lugia" faces while Mewtwo talks) Say, Bobcat is a good name! Tell us, what's your secret identity?
Bobcat Goldthwait: My secret identity? Like, if you saw me in real life?
Mewtwo: Uh...
Lugia: Yeah, like if he saw you in real life.
Bobcat Goldthwait: Uhhhhh...I...Joey Lawrence.
Mewtwo: Get out! I've got your album!
Bobcat Goldthwait: Yeah, girl, you know it's true.
Mewtwo: I hear Blossom hates you.
Bobcat Goldthwait: Kowalski!
Mewtwo: Well?
Bobcat Goldthwait: See, it's an issue right now, and I feel strong about it.
Mewtwo: You don't look very strong.
Bobcat Goldthwait: Well, I may look small, but I'm pretty wiry.
Mewtwo: Sorry.
Bobcat Goldthwait: Mewtwo, I've got a question for you, and this isn't, I'm not trying to be weird or anything, but...do you think I'm pretty?
Mewtwo: (looks back blankly)
Bobcat Goldthwait: Just like another guy to a guy?
Mewtwo: (pause) Ummm...yes! I think you're a pretty man.
Bobcat Goldthwait: Thank you. I think you're pretty handsome yourself, Mewtwo.Although the eagle, hmmm, I dunno.
Lugia: (glares at him, Lugia's cry from PKMN Gold and Silver plays)
Mewtwo: Hmmmmm, I see what you mean...but on a serious note, Bobcat, how would you stop crime in America?
Bobcat Goldthwait: I think you wanna stop crime in America, you say a very special episode of "Blossom" where the entire cast gets ball-peen hammers in the knee-caps.
Mewtwo: Ooooh...
Bobcat Goldthwait: I promise you there'll be a half-hour of non-violent America. Because everybody'd be glued to the set. "Hey, they hit Joey Lawrence in the knee cap yet?"
Mewtwo: You think that could work?
Bobcat Goldthwait: Well, no, not really, perhaps, I, I need to loosen my pants.
Mewtwo: Go ahead!
Bobcat Goldthwait: (loosens pants, sound of pressure escaping) Oooo! Man, I feel better already! Wooo!
Mewtwo: You should try spandex!
Bobcat Goldthwait: Yeah, you know, I'm actually one of the only superheroes that wear leisure suits.
Mewtwo: Speaking on heroes, who are yours?
Bobcat Goldthwait: Wow! Um, geez, I dunno, I like all the greats you know, Curly. I think that's what my coif actually looks like, what if Rutger Hauer and Curly Howard pounded out a baby..."Hey, Moe. I'm a replicant! Ne ne ne ne ne!" (makes Stooge hand and face gesture)
Mewtwo: (laughs) (Replicants were the evil creation of Dr. Zin) (aloud) Ahem, let's see, where am I? (mumbles) Oh! Who's your arch enemy?
Bobcat Goldthwait: John Tesh.
Mewtwo: The composer?
Bobcat Goldthwait: The whole man. John Tesh scares me.
Mewtwo: Say, do you have any super powers?
Bobcat Goldthwait: Yeah, what size TM are you?
Mewtwo: Colossal! Why?
Bobcat Goldthwait: Because I have a, I'm usually like a, a small TM, believe it or not, but I've been retaining a lot of fluids lately, so, probably a medium TM.
Mewtwo: How about anice pleated skirt?
Bobcat Goldthwait: Boy, Mewtwo, you're really switching gears!
Mewtwo: Hey, it's a 15 minute show! And, we need to take a break.
Bobcat Goldthwait: What's the eagle's name again, I'm sorry?
Mewtwo: Lugia.
Bobcat Goldthwait: Oh, yeah.
Mewtwo: Lugia. I like saying "Lugia".
Bobcat Goldthwait: Lugia, play me something public domain.
Lugia: (plays something from their vast easy listening library)
Mewtwo: We'll be right back after this.
Lugia: It appears we will be right back.
:INTERRUPT FEED
:START FEED
Lugia: Uh, because no one can stop it, the show is back...
(Theme music plays in background)
Bobcat Goldthwait: Barney's going to make more kids snap than Bugs Bunny.
Mewtwo: Uh huh.
Bobcat Goldthwait: A kid knows Bugs Bunny's joking around, kids think Barney's for real!
Mewtwo: Uh huh.
Bobcat Goldthwait: "I love you", you don't love us, Barney, you don't even know us!
Mewtwo: Ok! We're back with Bobcat Goldthwait! I understand you have spcial powers.
Bobcat Goldthwait: Yes. I'm able to, uh, bend forks.
Mewtwo: Wow!
Bobcat Goldthwait: But only at Denny's. Any other kind of forks I don't seem to able to bend.
Mewtwo: Wow, now, is that physically or mentally? Or perhaps Psychically?
Bobcat Goldthwait: Um, I do it with my mind...but you gotta look away, really, for a little while.
Mewtwo: When I said you were pretty, I meant you remind me of Judy Collins.
Bobcat Goldthwait: Judy Collins? (laughs) Wow, Mewtwo, man, crack a window, will ya?
Mewtwo: I'd be violently sucked into space.
Eneti: Heh, then maybe people would tune in.
Bobcat Goldthwait: Well, I think Eneti's giving us the signal to wrap it up, huh, Mewtwo?
Mewtwo: No, Bobcat, that's just his way of telling us to finish the interveiw. Join us for dinner after the show?
Bobcat Goldthwait: Thanks, I'd love to join you for dinner, but I don't know about eating with no gigantic eagle. Don't they spit on their food first and then mulch it up and spit it back out?
Lugia: THAT is regurgitational ingestion, flies and Venomoths do it, not eagles.
Bobcat Goldthwait: Yeah, well that, but you know, that's exactly how I eat, so, perhaps I will dine with you.
Mewtwo: Alrighty! We'll meet you in the chamber after the show. Any parting words?
Bobcat Goldthwait: Mewtwo, I want to party with you.
Mewtwo: You mean with a party cake and lemonade and paper hats?
Bobcat Goldthwait: Perhaps, perhaps.
Mewtwo: Alrighty then! My next guests are Lugia's favorite band. Please welcome the Ramones!
Bobcat Goldthwait: Thanks, man.
(The Ramones appear on the screen)
Lugia: Hey, Joey.
Joey Ramone: (waves)
Mewtwo: Ok then. Identify yourselves, Ramones.
Johnny Ramone: I'm Johnny Ramone.
Marky Ramone: I'm Marky Ramone.
Joey Ramone: And I'm Joey.
C.J. Ramone: And I'm C.J.
Lugia: And I'm Lugia Ramone.
Eneti: And I'm Eneti Ramone.
Mewtwo: (to camera) They're not really Ramones. (to Ramones) Say, fellas, tell us about your new record.
Johnny Ramone: "Acid Eaters", that's our later album, it's a cover album of, uh, songs that were recorded in, um, generally around the 1967-68, period of time.
Mewtwo: And it's just now coming out?
Ramones: (laughs)
Mewtwo: Ok, on your thrid album "Rocket Fuel", (makes gibberish noises) Too many cokes!
Ramones: (laughs)
Mewtwo: Ah ha haa! Hey! Tell me about your music.
C.J. Ramone: It's snappy.
Johnny Ramone: It's always meant for rebellious kids.
Mewtwo: Rebellious?
Johnny Ramone: Uhhh, we're a bunch of punks.
Mewtwo: Hmmm...well, you just listen to me, you punks, I don't want any trouble from you. This is a good show. This is a clean show. This is a good clean show.
C.J. Ramone: You ever get a wedgie with a fold? It's not pleasant. (laughs)
Mewtwo: Uhhh...
Bobcat Goldthwait: (on control room monitor, with Eagle text from before, to Eneti) This is going as well as the Letterman-Madonna interveiw.
Eneti: Yup.
Mewtwo: Allll right then, you punks, you're musicians, make something up for me.
Marky Ramone: Well, how about: "way, we-we-way, wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah, way way way way way way-we-way."
Mewtwo: "Way way way", that's catchy!
Joey Ramone: It was subliminal.
Marky Ramone: That was, that was the instrumental part.
Mewtwo: Ah! Uh, now do the word part.
Marky Ramone: How about: "Mewtwo, Mewtwo, you're the most, from coast to coast..."
Mewtwo: Listen, we have to go. Bobcat invited me to a party, with a party cake and lemonade and paper hats, and you can't come because you're punks and punks don't go to parties. Hey, you guys got a cake!
Marky Ramone: It's a nice chocolate vinilla.
Johnny Ramone: There's plates right there...
Mewtwo: Hey! Where'd you guys get that cake?
(All Ramones are "wearing" paper hats)
Marky Ramone: You want a piece of this?
C.J. Romane: Yeah.
Mewtwo: That's my party cake! Where did you guys get my party cake? Who gave them my party cake? I want my party cake! That was specifically definitely for Bobcat and me! Lugia! Did you give them my party cake?
Lugia: (with paper hat and crumbs falling out of mouth) Uh, what party cake?
Eneti: (with paper hat and cake) Mmmm, chocolate party cake.
(Credits roll. New Island in credits wearing a party hat)
Marky Ramone: "Way, we-we-way, wah wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah, way way way way way way we-way. (skip) we-way. (skip) we-way. (skip) we-way. " (fade out)