Disclaimer: I own no rights to any of the characters I'm writing about in
this thing. I'm just borrowing them briefly ^^;;
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Ace: It has to be done.
Heero: No it doesn't.
Ace: Yes it does. For the sake of balance, you must be turned into a kitten by a random gratuitous plot device.
Heero: Omae o korosu.
Duo: No one believes you when you say that anymore, Heero.
Heero: I mean it this time.
Ace: I've read one too many 1+2 fics in which Duo gets turned into a kitten leading to much fluffy sappiness. Now it's your turn, Heero.
Heero: *whips gun out of spandex space*
Ace: *waves hand, turning the gun into a bouquet of flowers*
Duo: You knew that was going to happen, Heero.
Heero: *sighs* It was worth a try.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CHAPTER ONE: Curiosity Causes Heero To Be Randomly Transmogrified Into An Adorable Little Fluffy Cat
*~*~*~*~*
"Hey Heero, what do you think this thing is?"
"Put it down, Duo." The Perfect Soldier didn't bother to look up from what he was doing – opening dusty cardboard boxes and hunting through them, in search of… he wasn't entirely sure what.
"But look, it's got this little blue light thingy-"
"Put it down."
The braided pilot sighed and set down the mysterious thingy. He and Heero had been sent here on this lame excuse for a mission. They were in a genetics lab under a ruined OZ base, searching for something that the mad scientists had heard about – a device that could tinker with human chromosomes, making the human stronger, faster and smarter. It was a basic search and destroy mission, there was no one to fight and this OZ base had been destroyed quite a while ago, so everything was covered in a layer of dust. Duo was getting bored.
"What about this thingy?"
"Duo, put the thingy down."
"Heero, we don't even know what this thing looks like. Maybe this thingy is the thing."
Heero turned around and gave Duo a Look of Imminent Doom. Duo resisted the urge to hide under the nearest table, then silently went back to poking through piles of obscure electrical thingys.
With a soft grunt of self-satisfaction, Heero picked up a heavy scientific journal. If anything was going to give them a clue as to where this thing was, then this would be it.
He flicked it open, and leafed through the pages until he reached the part about genetics research. Scanning the text with his Perfect Soldier speed-reading super powers, he swiftly found the section about the device they were looking for. The journal referred to it as Project Omega, and it included a sketch of what the device looked like.
"Duo?"
"Yeah?" Duo glanced up from were he was fiddling with yet another of the innumerable weird thingys.
"Have you seen something that looks like this?" Heero showed his partner in crime the sketch.
Duo blinked at it in a vague way, then grinned. "Yeah!" He disappeared headfirst into the pile of thingys, only his rear and legs sticking out, and after a moment reappeared, wielding the device of Project Omega. "Here ya go, Hee-man!"
Heero took the device, dropped it onto the ground and then shot several rounds into it. Then, as a precaution, he tore the relevant pages out of the journal and pocketed them – um, made them disappear into spandex space. "There. Mission complete. Let's get out of here." He turned and went to leave the lab.
"Right!" Duo followed him, then froze in mid-step. "Hey, now THAT'S a cool thingy!" He ran over to the thingy in question, which looked like a remote control covered in holographic paint.
"Duo…" Heero began impatiently.
"Aren't you even a little bit curious, Hee-man?" He picked it up, fingering it thoughtfully, violet eyes aglow with interest.
"No. Let's go already."
"You're no fun, Heero," Duo admonished, and then, in a fit of curiosity, he pushed one of the buttons, thinking that nothing would happen.
He was proven wrong on this count.
Like something out of a B-grade 50s sci-fi movie, a weird multi- coloured beam burst from the remote control… thing, and hit Heero smack-dab in the middle of his chest. Before either of them had time to blink, there was a sound like a balloon popping, and then Heero vanished.
"Holy shit!" Duo gasped reverently, almost dropping the thingy. Where Heero had been standing, there was now a small pile of tank top and spandex, which was moving. Duo oh-so-carefully put the thingy down on the table beside him, and then shuffled cautiously over to the pile of clothes. Then, seizing all his courage, he bent down and lifted up the tank top to see what was underneath.
Blinking wide blue eyes, a kitten stared around with an expression of feline confusion. It was tiny enough to fit neatly into two cupped hands, and its fur was shaggy dark brown, tortoiseshell patterned and stuck out on weird angles. The kitten shifted slightly to free itself of the spandex it was tangled in, then sneezed.
"H-Heero?!" Duo gaped. The kitten looked up, and Duo recognised the expression in those all-too-familiar brilliantly blue eyes. This was Heero alright, and he was most pissed off.
"Dude, seriously!" Duo cried, beginning to panic ever so slightly.
The kitten stood up on slightly uncertain and wobbly legs, then swiped at him with tiny claws and attempted to growl.
That just did it.
"KAWAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!" Duo squealed, and grabbed the tiny Heero-neko. He knew Heero was most royally pissed off at him right now, but he was just too CUTE to be treated with dignity. He cuddled the kitty to his chest, ignoring the fairly pathetic attempts to claw him.
"I really wish you could see yourself right now, Hee-chan," he laughed, absently petting soft fur. "You're so adorable… if a little small… oh dear." With a sigh, he set Heero-neko down, scratching his head. "What am I going to do with you, little buddy? You make a gorgeous kitten, but I'm pretty sure you'd prefer to be human?"
"MEOW!!"
"Okay, let me think." After a long moment of deep thought, he decided on a plan. "Alright, Heero, here's what's gonna happen. I'll bring you and the weird thingy back to the others, and we'll try to get in touch with the mad scientists, see if they can come up with the answers. Okay?"
"Meow."
"Cool." Without any further ado, Duo took off his black jacket, and held it bundled in one hand like a basket. At the bottom he put in the thingey, then he bent to pick up Heero's clothes. When he picked up the spandex, a handgun fell out. He sighed and bent over to pick that up too, and another two guns dropped out as he did so.
"Oh, for crying out loud…" He shook the pair of spandex shorts, and half a dozen more guns clattered onto the lab floor. Duo sweatdropped and gave Heero a What The Hell Are You On Look. Heero responded by flattening his ears back and hissing.
Bending over to pick up the small armoury, he noticed that something else had fallen out too – the pages Heero had torn out of the science journal. He deposited the guns into his makeshift basket, then flicked through the pages and was relieved to find a sketch and description of the thingy he had accidentally used on Heero.
"Hey, this is it!" Heero perked up a little. "It's called a genome defractor."
"Meow."
Duo read a bit more. "Yes! It says that the effects are only temporary!" he cried, a weight off of his chest. "You should be back to your usual scowling death-threatening spandex-encased self within a week."
Heero gave Duo the feline equivalent of his Glare of Death, his tail wagging in irritation. Duo laughed. "Sorry, Hee-chan, but you're too fuzzy to be threatening."
Heero hissed again, but then he was gracelessly picked up by the scruff of his neck and neatly deposited into Duo's basket. "C'mon, let's head back." And so Heero-neko and Duo headed out of the lab and back to their safehouse, the latter already trying to compose a speech to explain to the others how it was exactly that he'd gotten the Wing pilot turned into a kitten. This was going to be a tough one.
TBC
*~*~*~*~*
Ace: Ohhhhhhhh, now Heero's a sweet itty bitty kitty!!
Duo: He's so cute! *pokes Heero-neko*
Heero-neko: Meow.
Ace: What did he say?
Duo: *whips out English-Cat/Cat-English dictionary* "I'm going to kill you all."
Ace: Oh.
You want more, review for it!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ace: It has to be done.
Heero: No it doesn't.
Ace: Yes it does. For the sake of balance, you must be turned into a kitten by a random gratuitous plot device.
Heero: Omae o korosu.
Duo: No one believes you when you say that anymore, Heero.
Heero: I mean it this time.
Ace: I've read one too many 1+2 fics in which Duo gets turned into a kitten leading to much fluffy sappiness. Now it's your turn, Heero.
Heero: *whips gun out of spandex space*
Ace: *waves hand, turning the gun into a bouquet of flowers*
Duo: You knew that was going to happen, Heero.
Heero: *sighs* It was worth a try.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CHAPTER ONE: Curiosity Causes Heero To Be Randomly Transmogrified Into An Adorable Little Fluffy Cat
*~*~*~*~*
"Hey Heero, what do you think this thing is?"
"Put it down, Duo." The Perfect Soldier didn't bother to look up from what he was doing – opening dusty cardboard boxes and hunting through them, in search of… he wasn't entirely sure what.
"But look, it's got this little blue light thingy-"
"Put it down."
The braided pilot sighed and set down the mysterious thingy. He and Heero had been sent here on this lame excuse for a mission. They were in a genetics lab under a ruined OZ base, searching for something that the mad scientists had heard about – a device that could tinker with human chromosomes, making the human stronger, faster and smarter. It was a basic search and destroy mission, there was no one to fight and this OZ base had been destroyed quite a while ago, so everything was covered in a layer of dust. Duo was getting bored.
"What about this thingy?"
"Duo, put the thingy down."
"Heero, we don't even know what this thing looks like. Maybe this thingy is the thing."
Heero turned around and gave Duo a Look of Imminent Doom. Duo resisted the urge to hide under the nearest table, then silently went back to poking through piles of obscure electrical thingys.
With a soft grunt of self-satisfaction, Heero picked up a heavy scientific journal. If anything was going to give them a clue as to where this thing was, then this would be it.
He flicked it open, and leafed through the pages until he reached the part about genetics research. Scanning the text with his Perfect Soldier speed-reading super powers, he swiftly found the section about the device they were looking for. The journal referred to it as Project Omega, and it included a sketch of what the device looked like.
"Duo?"
"Yeah?" Duo glanced up from were he was fiddling with yet another of the innumerable weird thingys.
"Have you seen something that looks like this?" Heero showed his partner in crime the sketch.
Duo blinked at it in a vague way, then grinned. "Yeah!" He disappeared headfirst into the pile of thingys, only his rear and legs sticking out, and after a moment reappeared, wielding the device of Project Omega. "Here ya go, Hee-man!"
Heero took the device, dropped it onto the ground and then shot several rounds into it. Then, as a precaution, he tore the relevant pages out of the journal and pocketed them – um, made them disappear into spandex space. "There. Mission complete. Let's get out of here." He turned and went to leave the lab.
"Right!" Duo followed him, then froze in mid-step. "Hey, now THAT'S a cool thingy!" He ran over to the thingy in question, which looked like a remote control covered in holographic paint.
"Duo…" Heero began impatiently.
"Aren't you even a little bit curious, Hee-man?" He picked it up, fingering it thoughtfully, violet eyes aglow with interest.
"No. Let's go already."
"You're no fun, Heero," Duo admonished, and then, in a fit of curiosity, he pushed one of the buttons, thinking that nothing would happen.
He was proven wrong on this count.
Like something out of a B-grade 50s sci-fi movie, a weird multi- coloured beam burst from the remote control… thing, and hit Heero smack-dab in the middle of his chest. Before either of them had time to blink, there was a sound like a balloon popping, and then Heero vanished.
"Holy shit!" Duo gasped reverently, almost dropping the thingy. Where Heero had been standing, there was now a small pile of tank top and spandex, which was moving. Duo oh-so-carefully put the thingy down on the table beside him, and then shuffled cautiously over to the pile of clothes. Then, seizing all his courage, he bent down and lifted up the tank top to see what was underneath.
Blinking wide blue eyes, a kitten stared around with an expression of feline confusion. It was tiny enough to fit neatly into two cupped hands, and its fur was shaggy dark brown, tortoiseshell patterned and stuck out on weird angles. The kitten shifted slightly to free itself of the spandex it was tangled in, then sneezed.
"H-Heero?!" Duo gaped. The kitten looked up, and Duo recognised the expression in those all-too-familiar brilliantly blue eyes. This was Heero alright, and he was most pissed off.
"Dude, seriously!" Duo cried, beginning to panic ever so slightly.
The kitten stood up on slightly uncertain and wobbly legs, then swiped at him with tiny claws and attempted to growl.
That just did it.
"KAWAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!" Duo squealed, and grabbed the tiny Heero-neko. He knew Heero was most royally pissed off at him right now, but he was just too CUTE to be treated with dignity. He cuddled the kitty to his chest, ignoring the fairly pathetic attempts to claw him.
"I really wish you could see yourself right now, Hee-chan," he laughed, absently petting soft fur. "You're so adorable… if a little small… oh dear." With a sigh, he set Heero-neko down, scratching his head. "What am I going to do with you, little buddy? You make a gorgeous kitten, but I'm pretty sure you'd prefer to be human?"
"MEOW!!"
"Okay, let me think." After a long moment of deep thought, he decided on a plan. "Alright, Heero, here's what's gonna happen. I'll bring you and the weird thingy back to the others, and we'll try to get in touch with the mad scientists, see if they can come up with the answers. Okay?"
"Meow."
"Cool." Without any further ado, Duo took off his black jacket, and held it bundled in one hand like a basket. At the bottom he put in the thingey, then he bent to pick up Heero's clothes. When he picked up the spandex, a handgun fell out. He sighed and bent over to pick that up too, and another two guns dropped out as he did so.
"Oh, for crying out loud…" He shook the pair of spandex shorts, and half a dozen more guns clattered onto the lab floor. Duo sweatdropped and gave Heero a What The Hell Are You On Look. Heero responded by flattening his ears back and hissing.
Bending over to pick up the small armoury, he noticed that something else had fallen out too – the pages Heero had torn out of the science journal. He deposited the guns into his makeshift basket, then flicked through the pages and was relieved to find a sketch and description of the thingy he had accidentally used on Heero.
"Hey, this is it!" Heero perked up a little. "It's called a genome defractor."
"Meow."
Duo read a bit more. "Yes! It says that the effects are only temporary!" he cried, a weight off of his chest. "You should be back to your usual scowling death-threatening spandex-encased self within a week."
Heero gave Duo the feline equivalent of his Glare of Death, his tail wagging in irritation. Duo laughed. "Sorry, Hee-chan, but you're too fuzzy to be threatening."
Heero hissed again, but then he was gracelessly picked up by the scruff of his neck and neatly deposited into Duo's basket. "C'mon, let's head back." And so Heero-neko and Duo headed out of the lab and back to their safehouse, the latter already trying to compose a speech to explain to the others how it was exactly that he'd gotten the Wing pilot turned into a kitten. This was going to be a tough one.
TBC
*~*~*~*~*
Ace: Ohhhhhhhh, now Heero's a sweet itty bitty kitty!!
Duo: He's so cute! *pokes Heero-neko*
Heero-neko: Meow.
Ace: What did he say?
Duo: *whips out English-Cat/Cat-English dictionary* "I'm going to kill you all."
Ace: Oh.
You want more, review for it!!