Behind the Scenes
Scene 73: Aeris' Death
1 Scene: An assortment of Final Fantasy VII characters are standing around a set inside a video recording studio. Aeris is on stage with Sephiroth where she has just been murdered. Cloud is nowhere to be seen.
Director: "CUT!" Everybody stops. "Aeris, you call that acting?"
Aeris: "Umm… yeah…"
Director: "You just got the Goddamn Masamune through your gut! You'd have a lot more of an expression on your face than that! Argh, do the scene again."
Sephiroth: "What!? That was the fourth time!"
Aeris: "Well if you hadn't totally missed me the first three times-"
Sephiroth: "HEY, YOU TRY TO AIM THAT PRECISELY FROM A 300 METRE LEAP!"
Director: "Just shut up and take your places!"
Sephiroth curses under his breath as he begins climbing the ladder. Aeris kneels back on the altar.
Director: "Scene 73: Aeris' Death, take- hold it, where's Cloud?"
Tifa: "Oh, he's in his dressing room."
Director: "What? Why the hell is he in there?" He storms to Cloud's dressing room and knocks loudly on the door. "Cloud, what the hell are you doing?"
Cloud: "Just fixing my hair!"
Director: "Well haul your @$$, 'cause we're ready to do that scene again!"
Cloud: "No problem!"
2 Twenty minutes later…
Director: "Cloud, what the f#^% are you doing in there?"
Cloud: "I ran out of gel!"
Director: "How can you run out of gel? There were six bottles in there last time I checked!"
Cloud: "Do you have any idea how much gel it takes to get my hair like that? Its not my Goddamn fault you gave me the part with the impossible hair style!"
Director: Grumbles impatiently. "Just get your @$$ out here, you'll do!"
Cloud: "OK…"
Cloud comes out of the dressing room with his hair only half done. The director curses and leads him back to the set.
Director: "OK, Scene 73: Aeris' Death, take five! Action!"
They begin the scene. After three minutes of recording, the director begins cursing.
Director: "Cut, cut, CUT!"
Everybody groans.
Director: "Cloud, you're supposed to be concerned about Aeris, not gawking off-stage!"
Cloud: Smirks. "…sorry."
Yuffie giggles. The director turns to her.
Director: "Yuffie, what on Gaea are you doing here? You're not in this scene!"
Cloud: "She's here for moral support." He winks at Yuffie behind the stage.
Director: "Cloud, you can't have your girlfriend in this studio if she's going to be a distraction! Yuffie, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
Cloud: "Oh come on, Yuffie isn't doing anything! I'll gawk at Aeris, I promise!"
Yuffie: "YOU'LL WHAT!?!?"
Cloud: "I'll… uhhh… play my part correctly!"
Yuffie glares at Cloud and walks away.
Cloud: (under his breath) "Damn, I'm gonna pay for that later."
Director: "OK, places everyone! Ready? Good. Scene 73: Aeris' Death, take-"
Jenova: "Is it my part yet?"
Director: "NO IT IS NOT YOUR PART YET!"
Jenova: "Well, when is it?"
Director: "As soon as you shut the hell up and let us get on with this scene!"
Jenova: "…"
Director: "Thank you. OK, action!"
Red XIII suddenly races across the set. He disappears behind the curtain on the other side in a fury of hissing and snarling.
Director: "Red, what the hell are you trying to do!?"
Red XIII: Walks out from behind the curtain and drops a large dead rodent on the set. "You have rats."
Aeris: Shrieks loudly and jumps up on the nearest stool. "RATS???"
Director: "There are no rats in this building!"
Yuffie: Points to Red XIII's mauled rat carcass. "Then what's that?"
Director: "It's dead, now isn't it? See, NO MORE RATS! Now take your places!"
Aeris glances around and nervously steps down from her stool. Red XIII picks up the rat and carries it off stage.
Director: "O.K, places everyone! Ready? Scene 73: Aeris' Death, take- wait a Goddamn minute, Aeris where's the white materia?"
Aeris: Feels on the top of her head. "I don't know, isn't it supposed to fall off?"
Sephiroth: Calls down from the top of the ladder. "Is it time to kill her yet?"
Director: "No."
Aeris: "It isn't?"
Director: "No, I mean yes, the white materia does fall, but since you haven't got the scene right yet, you should still have it."
Aeris: "Oh… well…" She turns and begins looking for the materia. Yuffie walks by, looking far too innocent. "Yuffie, have you seen the white materia?"
Yuffie: "Huh? What materia?"
Sephiroth: "…how about now?"
Director: "NO."
Aeris: "White materia, the one from my hair!"
Yuffie: Nervously fumbles with something in her pocket. "Oh, nope haven't seen it…"
Director: "Goddamnit Yuffie, I can see it in your pocket! How many times do I have to tell you the materia in this studio is just props, none of it does anything, its PROPS!!!! Now give that here!"
Sephiroth: "Can I kill-"
Director: "FOR THE LAST TIME, NO, IT IS NOT TIME TO KILL HER YET! Now Yuffie, gimme the Goddamn white materia so we can start this scene and shut him up!"
Yuffie mutters something bitterly under her breath and hands over the white materia. The director grumbles and shoves it into Aeris' hands. She gives the director a dirty look and places it in her hair.
Director: "OK take your Goddamn places. Ready? Too f#^%ing bad. Scene 73: Aeris' Death, take five. Action!"
Suddenly the cast and crew are doused with water as the sprinklers come on and the fire alarm goes off.
Director: "For God sakes Cid, I told you, you can't smoke in this building!"
Cid: "I can see why, the f#^%ing sprinklers put 'em out!" He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his lighter to relight.
Director: "Cid, put that Goddamn thing away! What the hell are you doing here anyway? You're not even in this scene!"
Cid: "WHAT!? But Yuffie told me-"
Yuffie, who has been trying hard not to snicker, bursts into uncontrollable laughter.
Cid: Curses under his breath and reaches for his Transform materia, only to discover that it is already gone. "You little w*&~!! GIVE ME BACK MY F#^%ING MATERIA!!!"
Yuffie and Cid engage in a violent chase across the set, knocking Sephiroth from the top of the ladder. Sephiroth comes crashing down, instinctively holding out Masamune to break his fall. Aeris screams in horror as the sword hits her in the back, where it retracts (its just a prop, they wouldn't kill a person just to make a movie, now would they!?) and the white materia bounces away.
Director: "CUT! Perfect! That's a wrap!"
Scene 73: Aeris' Death
1 Scene: An assortment of Final Fantasy VII characters are standing around a set inside a video recording studio. Aeris is on stage with Sephiroth where she has just been murdered. Cloud is nowhere to be seen.
Director: "CUT!" Everybody stops. "Aeris, you call that acting?"
Aeris: "Umm… yeah…"
Director: "You just got the Goddamn Masamune through your gut! You'd have a lot more of an expression on your face than that! Argh, do the scene again."
Sephiroth: "What!? That was the fourth time!"
Aeris: "Well if you hadn't totally missed me the first three times-"
Sephiroth: "HEY, YOU TRY TO AIM THAT PRECISELY FROM A 300 METRE LEAP!"
Director: "Just shut up and take your places!"
Sephiroth curses under his breath as he begins climbing the ladder. Aeris kneels back on the altar.
Director: "Scene 73: Aeris' Death, take- hold it, where's Cloud?"
Tifa: "Oh, he's in his dressing room."
Director: "What? Why the hell is he in there?" He storms to Cloud's dressing room and knocks loudly on the door. "Cloud, what the hell are you doing?"
Cloud: "Just fixing my hair!"
Director: "Well haul your @$$, 'cause we're ready to do that scene again!"
Cloud: "No problem!"
2 Twenty minutes later…
Director: "Cloud, what the f#^% are you doing in there?"
Cloud: "I ran out of gel!"
Director: "How can you run out of gel? There were six bottles in there last time I checked!"
Cloud: "Do you have any idea how much gel it takes to get my hair like that? Its not my Goddamn fault you gave me the part with the impossible hair style!"
Director: Grumbles impatiently. "Just get your @$$ out here, you'll do!"
Cloud: "OK…"
Cloud comes out of the dressing room with his hair only half done. The director curses and leads him back to the set.
Director: "OK, Scene 73: Aeris' Death, take five! Action!"
They begin the scene. After three minutes of recording, the director begins cursing.
Director: "Cut, cut, CUT!"
Everybody groans.
Director: "Cloud, you're supposed to be concerned about Aeris, not gawking off-stage!"
Cloud: Smirks. "…sorry."
Yuffie giggles. The director turns to her.
Director: "Yuffie, what on Gaea are you doing here? You're not in this scene!"
Cloud: "She's here for moral support." He winks at Yuffie behind the stage.
Director: "Cloud, you can't have your girlfriend in this studio if she's going to be a distraction! Yuffie, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
Cloud: "Oh come on, Yuffie isn't doing anything! I'll gawk at Aeris, I promise!"
Yuffie: "YOU'LL WHAT!?!?"
Cloud: "I'll… uhhh… play my part correctly!"
Yuffie glares at Cloud and walks away.
Cloud: (under his breath) "Damn, I'm gonna pay for that later."
Director: "OK, places everyone! Ready? Good. Scene 73: Aeris' Death, take-"
Jenova: "Is it my part yet?"
Director: "NO IT IS NOT YOUR PART YET!"
Jenova: "Well, when is it?"
Director: "As soon as you shut the hell up and let us get on with this scene!"
Jenova: "…"
Director: "Thank you. OK, action!"
Red XIII suddenly races across the set. He disappears behind the curtain on the other side in a fury of hissing and snarling.
Director: "Red, what the hell are you trying to do!?"
Red XIII: Walks out from behind the curtain and drops a large dead rodent on the set. "You have rats."
Aeris: Shrieks loudly and jumps up on the nearest stool. "RATS???"
Director: "There are no rats in this building!"
Yuffie: Points to Red XIII's mauled rat carcass. "Then what's that?"
Director: "It's dead, now isn't it? See, NO MORE RATS! Now take your places!"
Aeris glances around and nervously steps down from her stool. Red XIII picks up the rat and carries it off stage.
Director: "O.K, places everyone! Ready? Scene 73: Aeris' Death, take- wait a Goddamn minute, Aeris where's the white materia?"
Aeris: Feels on the top of her head. "I don't know, isn't it supposed to fall off?"
Sephiroth: Calls down from the top of the ladder. "Is it time to kill her yet?"
Director: "No."
Aeris: "It isn't?"
Director: "No, I mean yes, the white materia does fall, but since you haven't got the scene right yet, you should still have it."
Aeris: "Oh… well…" She turns and begins looking for the materia. Yuffie walks by, looking far too innocent. "Yuffie, have you seen the white materia?"
Yuffie: "Huh? What materia?"
Sephiroth: "…how about now?"
Director: "NO."
Aeris: "White materia, the one from my hair!"
Yuffie: Nervously fumbles with something in her pocket. "Oh, nope haven't seen it…"
Director: "Goddamnit Yuffie, I can see it in your pocket! How many times do I have to tell you the materia in this studio is just props, none of it does anything, its PROPS!!!! Now give that here!"
Sephiroth: "Can I kill-"
Director: "FOR THE LAST TIME, NO, IT IS NOT TIME TO KILL HER YET! Now Yuffie, gimme the Goddamn white materia so we can start this scene and shut him up!"
Yuffie mutters something bitterly under her breath and hands over the white materia. The director grumbles and shoves it into Aeris' hands. She gives the director a dirty look and places it in her hair.
Director: "OK take your Goddamn places. Ready? Too f#^%ing bad. Scene 73: Aeris' Death, take five. Action!"
Suddenly the cast and crew are doused with water as the sprinklers come on and the fire alarm goes off.
Director: "For God sakes Cid, I told you, you can't smoke in this building!"
Cid: "I can see why, the f#^%ing sprinklers put 'em out!" He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his lighter to relight.
Director: "Cid, put that Goddamn thing away! What the hell are you doing here anyway? You're not even in this scene!"
Cid: "WHAT!? But Yuffie told me-"
Yuffie, who has been trying hard not to snicker, bursts into uncontrollable laughter.
Cid: Curses under his breath and reaches for his Transform materia, only to discover that it is already gone. "You little w*&~!! GIVE ME BACK MY F#^%ING MATERIA!!!"
Yuffie and Cid engage in a violent chase across the set, knocking Sephiroth from the top of the ladder. Sephiroth comes crashing down, instinctively holding out Masamune to break his fall. Aeris screams in horror as the sword hits her in the back, where it retracts (its just a prop, they wouldn't kill a person just to make a movie, now would they!?) and the white materia bounces away.
Director: "CUT! Perfect! That's a wrap!"