Gallagher
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BEGIN TRANSMISSION
(Mewtwo, Eneti and Lugia in commissary, sipping coffee)
Mewtwo: They've invented the telephone!?
(Opening theme & titles)
Raikou: Well, hello there, this is Raikou. Welcome to Mewtwo Coast to Coast. Tonight, funny man Bob Odenkirk, and his partner in fun, David Cross. Mmmmomma! Mmmomma, get in the cellar! Close all the shutters and chain down the cows! There's a comedy twister comin'! Here's Meeeeeewtwoooooo!
Mewtwo: (teleports in) Greetings, earth people, and welcome to a show from outer space! (last word echoes) I'm Mewtwo. Joining me tonight are comedians David Cross and Bob Odenkirk. Eneti, I hear we have an extra special feature for the audience tonight.
Eneti: Are you referring to the "Poké Time Quiz Fun 16000"?
Mewtwo: And who's that with, Eneti?
Eneti: Your host, Mewtwo.
Mewtwo: I'm not lying when I say I'm really excited about this new feature. But we'll save that for later in the show. Let's get to know our contestants, shall we?
(Drum roll & big band intro from The Legendary Birds)
Mewtwo: (teleports to desk; David and Bob are on the monitor as it lowers) Welcome to the show, citizens.
David Cross: Thank you very much. Mr. Mewtwo.
Bob Odenkirk: Thank you ever so much.
Mewtwo: You're welcome.
Bob Odenkirk: Is it, what, is it Mr. Mewtwo, or can we just call you Two?
David Cross: Or M. Two?
Mewtwo: The Native Americans call me "Broken wind clap like thunder".
David Cross: Okay.
Bob Odenkirk: Alright.
Mewtwo: But you may call me Mr. Mewtwo.
Bob Odenkirk: Yeah, Mr. Mewtwo.
Mewtwo: Now, which of you is which?
David Cross: Oh, uh, I'm David Cross... (points at himself)
Bob Odenkirk: And I'm Bob Odenkirk. Did I say my name right?
David Cross: Yeah.
Bob Odenkirk: God, it's a tough name to say.
Mewtwo: How long have you had it?
Bob Odenkirk: I just got it. Uh, Bob Odenkirk.
David Cross: It, it sounds good.
Bob Odenkirk: But you know how I said it, I said "Baa Bodenkirk".
Mewtwo: Don't worry about it, Baa. Eneti can fix it in the edit.
Bob Odenkirk: Hello, Eneti. I, just cut that out for me, will ya? Thanks, pal.
Eneti: Too late, "pal".
Mewtwo: Ever been interviewed by a Pokémon before?
David Cross: Uh, this is my fifth, si- no, never.
Bob Odenkirk: And I have never, ever, this is a real treat for me, and I've never even been to outer space before this. Unless you count some, uh, parties that I had in college. (laughs)
David Cross: (laughs) Right on! (they give each other "five")
Mewtwo: I know what you mean. At poké night school, we once had a mixer that lasted until ten PM.
Lugia: Oh no, not the night school story!
Mewtwo: I had fourteen cups of ginger ale, and wet my...
Lugia: Stop!
Eneti: Stop!
Mewtwo: What, I wet my fold. I'm not ashamed, I was young.
Lugia: You were in your mid-twenties!
Mewtwo: I was quite the cut-up. I bet you two were class clowns.
Bob Odenkirk: I, David was a class clown, I used to just laugh at him.
David Cross: But I was literally a clown, I used to come in to school with the grease paint, the wig, and the floppy shoes, and a (makes "horn honk" hand gesture & sound).
Bob Odenkirk: A sad clown.
David Cross: Yeah, sad, and I would go (sad voice) "Did somebody order a clown?"
Mewtwo: So, what are your superpowers?
Lugia: Who, me?
Mewtwo: No, Dave and Baa.
Lugia: Well, quit lookin' at me!
David Cross: I have the power to tell when people are in trouble, very far away, up to, like, twenty miles away. But I don't have any other powers, so I have to run, or get a cab, or...
Bob Odenkirk: Or just feel bad.
Mewtwo: That's weak. Baa, how about you?
Bob Odenkirk: I crave, sweets.
Mewtwo: Is that it? Those are measly little sissy powers! I saved the entire world from Team Rocket.
Bob Odenkirk: God bless you, man. If we could, we would, but all we can do is make one or two people giggle a little bit.
Mewtwo: And those one or two people will be giggling their way to Armageddon while you two jokers do your little "ha ha" act!!
Bob Odenkirk: (stunned silence, then laughs) What could I do? You invited me on this show!
Lugia: Blast him!
Mewtwo: (aims his fist at monitor) Alright, hunker down!
Bob Odenkirk: Eneti, uh, Lugia, what is the story here?
Eneti: Take your medicine!
Lugia: Blast the other guy too!
Mewtwo: I can't, he's wearing glasses. That'd be like hitting a blind man.
Lugia: Well, when has that stopped ya?
Eneti: Go ahead, let him blast ya. It's really not that bad.
Bob Odenkirk: Hmmm. Whattya say, give me a psyblast? Take me out?
Mewtwo: Oh, you want it now.
Bob Odenkirk: Would ya?
Mewtwo: It kinda stings and gives a weird feeling in your body, are you sure?
Bob Odenkirk: Yeah.
Mewtwo: Where do you want it?
Bob Odenkirk: Take me out right in the face, middle of the face.
David Cross: I don't want it, what do I gotta do?
Lugia: Keep your glasses on, four-eyes.
Mewtwo: Here we go. (psyblasts Bob)
Bob Odenkirk: (yells, then gasps) Oh, holy, ho, gigi! Alright, one more.
Mewtwo: Another one?
Bob Odenkirk: Yeah. All set.
David Cross: Do I, do I want one of these?
Bob Odenkirk: I don't know, if you like to feel good, I don't know, you tell me.
Mewtwo: (psyblasts Bob again)
Bob Odenkirk: (yells)
Mewtwo: Ah well, to heck with the glasses, one for you. (psyblasts Dave)
David Cross: Ow, no, I said no, I said no, please!
Mewtwo: (stops) Oh, okay.
David Cross: Darn!
Bob Odenkirk: Oh, mmm, it clears the sinuses.
David Cross: You like that?
Bob Odenkirk: I can breathe. I can breathe for the first time in my life, and (sniff sniff) (to David) you stink!
David Cross: I can't believe you could...
Bob Odenkirk: You stink!
David Cross: Well, I can't breathe! (talking with stuffed nose) You gave him my clear sinuses.
Mewtwo: Oh no.
Bob Odenkirk: And I have the brain of a chicken now!
David Cross: You gave him my brain of a chicken!
Eneti: And there's a swarm of beedrills flying around in my stomach.
Mewtwo: Stop trying to improv, Eneti.
Eneti: No, I mean it! They're stingin' my insides! Ow, ow ow, ow! (walks away from monitor)
Bob Odenkirk: (laughs)
David Cross: (laughs)
Mewtwo: Ah, tell me, fellas, what makes you laugh?
David Cross: Um, tickling, when I'm tickled.
Mewtwo: Really?
Bob Odenkirk: People fall down. Big people fall down.
David Cross: Yeah.
Bob Odenkirk: Adult people fall down. That make me funny. Laugh. Ha ha.
Mewtwo: So you're telling me if I walked over across the set, and fell down...
Lugia: Do it!
David Cross: Would you do it for us?
Bob Odenkirk: Would you do it for us, but act like you're not gonna, act real confident, and then fall down.
David Cross: Don't tip it, let's watch.
Lugia: Yes, let's all watch.
Bob Odenkirk: Alright, here we go.
Mewtwo: (off camera) (hums, then noise of him tripping, yelling, and falling down)
David Cross: (laughs)
Bob Odenkirk: (laughs)
Mewtwo: (laying on floor in front of his desk)
David Cross: Oh!
Bob Odenkirk: Did you hurt yourself?
Mewtwo: (still laying there, pain in his voice) Uh, yes, yes I did. Did, did you like it?
David Cross: Yes!
Bob Odenkirk: Well, if it hurt, yes.
Lugia: Do it again!
Eneti: (laughs) Yeah! And this time, run across the floor with some scissors!
Lugia: Yeah, yeah! And, and put a bunch of pencils in your mouth.
Mewtwo: I don't know... Sounds kinda dangerous.
Lugia: You think it would be, but it's not.
David Cross: You know my motto, "If it hurts, do it."
Mewtwo: Uh, okay. Lugia, help me up. Eneti, bring the scissors out here.
INTERRUPT TRANSMISSION
RESUME TRANSMISSION
Lugia: (makes weird noises)
David Cross: (makes noises & gestures back at Lugia)
Lugia: (laughs) Oh yeah!
Mewtwo: Dave, are you talkin' to Lugia?
David Cross: Well, yeah, Lugia and I used to hang in public high school.
Lugia: Yeah, I ???? him in gym class.
David Cross: Buddy!
Lugia: Ho ho, I gotcha!
David Cross: Yeah!
Lugia: I hear you!
Mewtwo: You're lying! Lugia never went to school! I've got records on him since birth, and Lugia has never...
David Cross: (angry) All right!
Mewtwo: (grimaces at Dave)
Lugia: Blast him!
Mewtwo: (clears his throat) We're back with David Cross and Baa Bodenkirk. So now, which of you is the straight man, and which of you is the wacky sidekick?
Bob Odenkirk: Uh, he's straight, and I'm gay. Wait! What did you ask?
Mewtwo: I said, which of you is the straight man, and which of you is the wacky sidekick?
David Cross: You're talking about, oh, comedy. Oh, shoot.
Mewtwo: Of course I am! (buzz!) What was that, are the muffins ready?
Eneti: No, you idiot pokémon, it's time for the stupid game show segment!
Mewtwo: You're right, Eneti. (game show theme music in background) It's time for (echo effect) Poké Quiz Time Fun 16000. (his face is framed with marquee lights and the words "POKé TIME QUIZ FUN 9000") With your host, Mewtwo. (music finishes; his smile sparkles) I ask you a question, but be careful. If you get it wrong, you get blasted. If you get it right... you get blasted.
Lugia: I like this game.
Mewtwo: Lugia, you're a contestant, too.
Lugia: (stares back wide-eyed)
Mewtwo: Ready, guys? (cheezy organ music plays in background, with timer ticking; Dave and Bob confer; bell rings)
Bob Odenkirk: No.
David Cross: We're gonna say "no".
Mewtwo: I haven't asked you a question yet. (music & timer start again, Dave and Bob confer; bell rings)
Bob Odenkirk: Al-, also Franklin Roosevelt.
Mewtwo: Wrong. (psyblasts him)
Bob Odenkirk: (yells a little)
Mewtwo: Okay. Next catagory.
Bob Odenkirk: Next, uh, Mama's homemade recipes, for 300.
Mewtwo: Mama's homemade recipes for 300 it is. What is the main ingredient in my mom's delicious cheeseburger pie? (music & timer start again, Dave and Bob confer; bell rings)
David Cross: Jägermeister.
Mewtwo: (buzz!) Right! It's ketchup! (psyblasts them)
Bob Odenkirk: (yells) Ah, man, you get addicted to that, you know what I mean?
Lugia: No.
Mewtwo: Zorak, I have a tattoo. What is it of, and where is it?
Lugia: I don't..
Mewtwo: Wrong! (psyblasts him)
Lugia: (looking crisped, in a new way)
Mewtwo: I got it in Panama City over spring break. Spring break, whoo! (burp!) Ooh, pardon me. You guys wanna see it?
Bob Odenkirk: Yeah.
Mewtwo: Hang on a minute... (Mewtwo is off-camera; unzipping sound, with grunts and groans)
David Cross: Oh..
Mewtwo: There!
David Cross: Oooh..
Bob Odenkirk: Yai...
David Cross: Not good.
Mewtwo: (showing an indeterminate part of his body to Dave and Bob, try and guess what it is! ^__~) It's a cute little panda, swinging from a branch.
Lugia: (low-throated laugh)
Eneti: That's a hairy panda.
David Cross: Not, not good.
Bob Odenkirk: Put the fold back on, thank you.
Mewtwo: (puts his fold back on; cheesy organ music starts up again) Boys, we're out of time, thanks for stopping by.
David Cross: Thank you, Mewtwo.
Bob Odenkirk: Thank you, thank you, hit me!
David Cross: (making echo sound effect with his hands) Meeeeeewtwooooooo!
Mewtwo: You want one for the road?
Bob Odenkirk: Hit me, one for the road.
Mewtwo: Okay, here it comes. (aims fist, Dave and Bob brace themselves; he doesn't psyblast them) Psych!
David Cross: Aw, what a bummer!
Bob Odenkirk: (pretends to be crying) Nothin'!
David Cross: He messed with your head!
Mewtwo: Double-psych! (psyblasts Bob)
Bob Odenkirk: (yells) Thanks.
Mewtwo: (psyblasts Dave)
David Cross: (puts his hands up) Oh, come on!
Lugia: Do me too.
Mewtwo: You hate these.
Lugia: No I don't.
Mewtwo: Yes you do.
Lugia: C'mon! Give it to me!
Mewtwo: No, now it's getting out of hand.
Lugia: Come on! Come on!
Mewtwo: I'm not blasting anyone anymore.
Bob Odenkirk: Aw, Twoie, Twoie old pal!
Lugia: Oh, come on! Come on, do me!
Eneti: Do me too!
Lugia: You've never been blasted!
Mewtwo: Oh, yes he has. (psyblasts Eneti)
Eneti: Yeow! (falls backward as the beam blasts through control room monitor; he lands flat on his back) Oh yeah! That's the one!
Lugia: You're purposed ignoring me!
Mewtwo: Yes I am. Bob, one more?
David Cross: I don't want this to end on a bad note.
Mewtwo: (psyblasts Bob extra long)
Bob Odenkirk: (yells a lot)
Lugia: (in background) Jerk!
Bob Odenkirk: (gasping) Oh, I love you, I love you...
David Cross: Me?
Bob Odenkirk: (still gasping) No, Mewzy. Twoie, I love ya. Do it again, what the...
Mewtwo: Sick little puppies.
Bob Odenkirk: Come on, my friend, (yells) I need it, I need to feel it, (yells) I'm gettin' a jolt, (yells)
Eneti: (still laying on his back in control room) Oh, Mewzy. (laughs)
Bob Odenkirk: I love you, man, I'd do anything for you, man.
David Cross: (making "cut" gesture) Can we cut?
(Credits roll)
Bob Odenkirk: What could I do? You invited me on this show!
EPISODE 35 GALLAGHER
(Bell rings)
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BEGIN TRANSMISSION
(Mewtwo, Eneti and Lugia in commissary, sipping coffee)
Mewtwo: They've invented the telephone!?
(Opening theme & titles)
Raikou: Well, hello there, this is Raikou. Welcome to Mewtwo Coast to Coast. Tonight, funny man Bob Odenkirk, and his partner in fun, David Cross. Mmmmomma! Mmmomma, get in the cellar! Close all the shutters and chain down the cows! There's a comedy twister comin'! Here's Meeeeeewtwoooooo!
Mewtwo: (teleports in) Greetings, earth people, and welcome to a show from outer space! (last word echoes) I'm Mewtwo. Joining me tonight are comedians David Cross and Bob Odenkirk. Eneti, I hear we have an extra special feature for the audience tonight.
Eneti: Are you referring to the "Poké Time Quiz Fun 16000"?
Mewtwo: And who's that with, Eneti?
Eneti: Your host, Mewtwo.
Mewtwo: I'm not lying when I say I'm really excited about this new feature. But we'll save that for later in the show. Let's get to know our contestants, shall we?
(Drum roll & big band intro from The Legendary Birds)
Mewtwo: (teleports to desk; David and Bob are on the monitor as it lowers) Welcome to the show, citizens.
David Cross: Thank you very much. Mr. Mewtwo.
Bob Odenkirk: Thank you ever so much.
Mewtwo: You're welcome.
Bob Odenkirk: Is it, what, is it Mr. Mewtwo, or can we just call you Two?
David Cross: Or M. Two?
Mewtwo: The Native Americans call me "Broken wind clap like thunder".
David Cross: Okay.
Bob Odenkirk: Alright.
Mewtwo: But you may call me Mr. Mewtwo.
Bob Odenkirk: Yeah, Mr. Mewtwo.
Mewtwo: Now, which of you is which?
David Cross: Oh, uh, I'm David Cross... (points at himself)
Bob Odenkirk: And I'm Bob Odenkirk. Did I say my name right?
David Cross: Yeah.
Bob Odenkirk: God, it's a tough name to say.
Mewtwo: How long have you had it?
Bob Odenkirk: I just got it. Uh, Bob Odenkirk.
David Cross: It, it sounds good.
Bob Odenkirk: But you know how I said it, I said "Baa Bodenkirk".
Mewtwo: Don't worry about it, Baa. Eneti can fix it in the edit.
Bob Odenkirk: Hello, Eneti. I, just cut that out for me, will ya? Thanks, pal.
Eneti: Too late, "pal".
Mewtwo: Ever been interviewed by a Pokémon before?
David Cross: Uh, this is my fifth, si- no, never.
Bob Odenkirk: And I have never, ever, this is a real treat for me, and I've never even been to outer space before this. Unless you count some, uh, parties that I had in college. (laughs)
David Cross: (laughs) Right on! (they give each other "five")
Mewtwo: I know what you mean. At poké night school, we once had a mixer that lasted until ten PM.
Lugia: Oh no, not the night school story!
Mewtwo: I had fourteen cups of ginger ale, and wet my...
Lugia: Stop!
Eneti: Stop!
Mewtwo: What, I wet my fold. I'm not ashamed, I was young.
Lugia: You were in your mid-twenties!
Mewtwo: I was quite the cut-up. I bet you two were class clowns.
Bob Odenkirk: I, David was a class clown, I used to just laugh at him.
David Cross: But I was literally a clown, I used to come in to school with the grease paint, the wig, and the floppy shoes, and a (makes "horn honk" hand gesture & sound).
Bob Odenkirk: A sad clown.
David Cross: Yeah, sad, and I would go (sad voice) "Did somebody order a clown?"
Mewtwo: So, what are your superpowers?
Lugia: Who, me?
Mewtwo: No, Dave and Baa.
Lugia: Well, quit lookin' at me!
David Cross: I have the power to tell when people are in trouble, very far away, up to, like, twenty miles away. But I don't have any other powers, so I have to run, or get a cab, or...
Bob Odenkirk: Or just feel bad.
Mewtwo: That's weak. Baa, how about you?
Bob Odenkirk: I crave, sweets.
Mewtwo: Is that it? Those are measly little sissy powers! I saved the entire world from Team Rocket.
Bob Odenkirk: God bless you, man. If we could, we would, but all we can do is make one or two people giggle a little bit.
Mewtwo: And those one or two people will be giggling their way to Armageddon while you two jokers do your little "ha ha" act!!
Bob Odenkirk: (stunned silence, then laughs) What could I do? You invited me on this show!
Lugia: Blast him!
Mewtwo: (aims his fist at monitor) Alright, hunker down!
Bob Odenkirk: Eneti, uh, Lugia, what is the story here?
Eneti: Take your medicine!
Lugia: Blast the other guy too!
Mewtwo: I can't, he's wearing glasses. That'd be like hitting a blind man.
Lugia: Well, when has that stopped ya?
Eneti: Go ahead, let him blast ya. It's really not that bad.
Bob Odenkirk: Hmmm. Whattya say, give me a psyblast? Take me out?
Mewtwo: Oh, you want it now.
Bob Odenkirk: Would ya?
Mewtwo: It kinda stings and gives a weird feeling in your body, are you sure?
Bob Odenkirk: Yeah.
Mewtwo: Where do you want it?
Bob Odenkirk: Take me out right in the face, middle of the face.
David Cross: I don't want it, what do I gotta do?
Lugia: Keep your glasses on, four-eyes.
Mewtwo: Here we go. (psyblasts Bob)
Bob Odenkirk: (yells, then gasps) Oh, holy, ho, gigi! Alright, one more.
Mewtwo: Another one?
Bob Odenkirk: Yeah. All set.
David Cross: Do I, do I want one of these?
Bob Odenkirk: I don't know, if you like to feel good, I don't know, you tell me.
Mewtwo: (psyblasts Bob again)
Bob Odenkirk: (yells)
Mewtwo: Ah well, to heck with the glasses, one for you. (psyblasts Dave)
David Cross: Ow, no, I said no, I said no, please!
Mewtwo: (stops) Oh, okay.
David Cross: Darn!
Bob Odenkirk: Oh, mmm, it clears the sinuses.
David Cross: You like that?
Bob Odenkirk: I can breathe. I can breathe for the first time in my life, and (sniff sniff) (to David) you stink!
David Cross: I can't believe you could...
Bob Odenkirk: You stink!
David Cross: Well, I can't breathe! (talking with stuffed nose) You gave him my clear sinuses.
Mewtwo: Oh no.
Bob Odenkirk: And I have the brain of a chicken now!
David Cross: You gave him my brain of a chicken!
Eneti: And there's a swarm of beedrills flying around in my stomach.
Mewtwo: Stop trying to improv, Eneti.
Eneti: No, I mean it! They're stingin' my insides! Ow, ow ow, ow! (walks away from monitor)
Bob Odenkirk: (laughs)
David Cross: (laughs)
Mewtwo: Ah, tell me, fellas, what makes you laugh?
David Cross: Um, tickling, when I'm tickled.
Mewtwo: Really?
Bob Odenkirk: People fall down. Big people fall down.
David Cross: Yeah.
Bob Odenkirk: Adult people fall down. That make me funny. Laugh. Ha ha.
Mewtwo: So you're telling me if I walked over across the set, and fell down...
Lugia: Do it!
David Cross: Would you do it for us?
Bob Odenkirk: Would you do it for us, but act like you're not gonna, act real confident, and then fall down.
David Cross: Don't tip it, let's watch.
Lugia: Yes, let's all watch.
Bob Odenkirk: Alright, here we go.
Mewtwo: (off camera) (hums, then noise of him tripping, yelling, and falling down)
David Cross: (laughs)
Bob Odenkirk: (laughs)
Mewtwo: (laying on floor in front of his desk)
David Cross: Oh!
Bob Odenkirk: Did you hurt yourself?
Mewtwo: (still laying there, pain in his voice) Uh, yes, yes I did. Did, did you like it?
David Cross: Yes!
Bob Odenkirk: Well, if it hurt, yes.
Lugia: Do it again!
Eneti: (laughs) Yeah! And this time, run across the floor with some scissors!
Lugia: Yeah, yeah! And, and put a bunch of pencils in your mouth.
Mewtwo: I don't know... Sounds kinda dangerous.
Lugia: You think it would be, but it's not.
David Cross: You know my motto, "If it hurts, do it."
Mewtwo: Uh, okay. Lugia, help me up. Eneti, bring the scissors out here.
INTERRUPT TRANSMISSION
RESUME TRANSMISSION
Lugia: (makes weird noises)
David Cross: (makes noises & gestures back at Lugia)
Lugia: (laughs) Oh yeah!
Mewtwo: Dave, are you talkin' to Lugia?
David Cross: Well, yeah, Lugia and I used to hang in public high school.
Lugia: Yeah, I ???? him in gym class.
David Cross: Buddy!
Lugia: Ho ho, I gotcha!
David Cross: Yeah!
Lugia: I hear you!
Mewtwo: You're lying! Lugia never went to school! I've got records on him since birth, and Lugia has never...
David Cross: (angry) All right!
Mewtwo: (grimaces at Dave)
Lugia: Blast him!
Mewtwo: (clears his throat) We're back with David Cross and Baa Bodenkirk. So now, which of you is the straight man, and which of you is the wacky sidekick?
Bob Odenkirk: Uh, he's straight, and I'm gay. Wait! What did you ask?
Mewtwo: I said, which of you is the straight man, and which of you is the wacky sidekick?
David Cross: You're talking about, oh, comedy. Oh, shoot.
Mewtwo: Of course I am! (buzz!) What was that, are the muffins ready?
Eneti: No, you idiot pokémon, it's time for the stupid game show segment!
Mewtwo: You're right, Eneti. (game show theme music in background) It's time for (echo effect) Poké Quiz Time Fun 16000. (his face is framed with marquee lights and the words "POKé TIME QUIZ FUN 9000") With your host, Mewtwo. (music finishes; his smile sparkles) I ask you a question, but be careful. If you get it wrong, you get blasted. If you get it right... you get blasted.
Lugia: I like this game.
Mewtwo: Lugia, you're a contestant, too.
Lugia: (stares back wide-eyed)
Mewtwo: Ready, guys? (cheezy organ music plays in background, with timer ticking; Dave and Bob confer; bell rings)
Bob Odenkirk: No.
David Cross: We're gonna say "no".
Mewtwo: I haven't asked you a question yet. (music & timer start again, Dave and Bob confer; bell rings)
Bob Odenkirk: Al-, also Franklin Roosevelt.
Mewtwo: Wrong. (psyblasts him)
Bob Odenkirk: (yells a little)
Mewtwo: Okay. Next catagory.
Bob Odenkirk: Next, uh, Mama's homemade recipes, for 300.
Mewtwo: Mama's homemade recipes for 300 it is. What is the main ingredient in my mom's delicious cheeseburger pie? (music & timer start again, Dave and Bob confer; bell rings)
David Cross: Jägermeister.
Mewtwo: (buzz!) Right! It's ketchup! (psyblasts them)
Bob Odenkirk: (yells) Ah, man, you get addicted to that, you know what I mean?
Lugia: No.
Mewtwo: Zorak, I have a tattoo. What is it of, and where is it?
Lugia: I don't..
Mewtwo: Wrong! (psyblasts him)
Lugia: (looking crisped, in a new way)
Mewtwo: I got it in Panama City over spring break. Spring break, whoo! (burp!) Ooh, pardon me. You guys wanna see it?
Bob Odenkirk: Yeah.
Mewtwo: Hang on a minute... (Mewtwo is off-camera; unzipping sound, with grunts and groans)
David Cross: Oh..
Mewtwo: There!
David Cross: Oooh..
Bob Odenkirk: Yai...
David Cross: Not good.
Mewtwo: (showing an indeterminate part of his body to Dave and Bob, try and guess what it is! ^__~) It's a cute little panda, swinging from a branch.
Lugia: (low-throated laugh)
Eneti: That's a hairy panda.
David Cross: Not, not good.
Bob Odenkirk: Put the fold back on, thank you.
Mewtwo: (puts his fold back on; cheesy organ music starts up again) Boys, we're out of time, thanks for stopping by.
David Cross: Thank you, Mewtwo.
Bob Odenkirk: Thank you, thank you, hit me!
David Cross: (making echo sound effect with his hands) Meeeeeewtwooooooo!
Mewtwo: You want one for the road?
Bob Odenkirk: Hit me, one for the road.
Mewtwo: Okay, here it comes. (aims fist, Dave and Bob brace themselves; he doesn't psyblast them) Psych!
David Cross: Aw, what a bummer!
Bob Odenkirk: (pretends to be crying) Nothin'!
David Cross: He messed with your head!
Mewtwo: Double-psych! (psyblasts Bob)
Bob Odenkirk: (yells) Thanks.
Mewtwo: (psyblasts Dave)
David Cross: (puts his hands up) Oh, come on!
Lugia: Do me too.
Mewtwo: You hate these.
Lugia: No I don't.
Mewtwo: Yes you do.
Lugia: C'mon! Give it to me!
Mewtwo: No, now it's getting out of hand.
Lugia: Come on! Come on!
Mewtwo: I'm not blasting anyone anymore.
Bob Odenkirk: Aw, Twoie, Twoie old pal!
Lugia: Oh, come on! Come on, do me!
Eneti: Do me too!
Lugia: You've never been blasted!
Mewtwo: Oh, yes he has. (psyblasts Eneti)
Eneti: Yeow! (falls backward as the beam blasts through control room monitor; he lands flat on his back) Oh yeah! That's the one!
Lugia: You're purposed ignoring me!
Mewtwo: Yes I am. Bob, one more?
David Cross: I don't want this to end on a bad note.
Mewtwo: (psyblasts Bob extra long)
Bob Odenkirk: (yells a lot)
Lugia: (in background) Jerk!
Bob Odenkirk: (gasping) Oh, I love you, I love you...
David Cross: Me?
Bob Odenkirk: (still gasping) No, Mewzy. Twoie, I love ya. Do it again, what the...
Mewtwo: Sick little puppies.
Bob Odenkirk: Come on, my friend, (yells) I need it, I need to feel it, (yells) I'm gettin' a jolt, (yells)
Eneti: (still laying on his back in control room) Oh, Mewzy. (laughs)
Bob Odenkirk: I love you, man, I'd do anything for you, man.
David Cross: (making "cut" gesture) Can we cut?
(Credits roll)
Bob Odenkirk: What could I do? You invited me on this show!
EPISODE 35 GALLAGHER
(Bell rings)