Boatshow
Disclaimer: I have to put this in for one reason, when you read Vicious Mewtwo's 70th Fanfiction Anniversary Spectacular Whatever, please note that this episode was used to parody it. Thank you and enjoy Mewtwo: Coast to Coast Episode 54 "Boatshow"!
1 [2] 3 4 5 [6] 7 8 9 0
26
BEGIN TRANSMISSION
(Orchestra version of "Hit Single" theme, with snappy new graphics, and following titles:)
Vicious Planet Industries
Presents
O COAST
TO COAST!
Starring
MEWTWO
Co-starring
LUGIA
And
ENETI
Featuring
CELEBI
And
SUICUNE
Special Guests
STEVE ALLEN
And
ANDY DICK
Mewtwo: (fade in) Greetings! I am Mewtwo! My first guest tonight is the incredible, the incomparable Steve Allen! (pause) Steve Allen? Is that right, Eneti?
Eneti: (piano intro plays in background) Yep, that's right. We got Steve Allen.
Mewtwo: (sings:)
Oh my, I can't believe my ears,
I have waited for this moment for years.
How can this be?
Steve Allen's gonna talk to me?
Steve Allen!
Lugia: Steve Allen?
Mewtwo: Yes, Lugia, Steve Allen!
Why, he's the greatest talk show host,
From Atlantic to Pacific coast,
I really do not mean to boast,
That we've got Steve Allen.
Eneti: Hey, I got Steve Allen!
I twisted arms, I threatened harm,
In galaxies, I caused alarm,
Made many agents buy the farm,
Just to get you Steve Allen!
(Eneti's monitor says:)
HOLLYWOOD PALACE
Lugia: He's got you, M2, give him credit,
He doesn't just direct and edit,
Eneti needs to have some credi-i-i-it!
Mewtwo: Okay Eneti, Lugia's right,
I do not want to start a fight,
But if you cross me I just might
Pull Steve Allen!
Lugia & Eneti: Steve Allen?!
Mewtwo: I can't believe we got Steve Allen!
All: Steve Allen! (music ends)
Audience: (applause)
Mewtwo: Wow, Eneti, how'd you score Steve Allen anyway?
Eneti: (reading a book) I threatened to give his manager a third degree burn.
Lugia: Bonus!
Mewtwo: Lugia, play me to the desk. Something.. snappy!
Lugia: (sighs, then sings:)
Oh, I am but a diving bird,
So evil and so mean,
Forced into this position,
Is it because I'm pale green?
Mewtwo: (invisos to desk, then sings)
Oh, I did not imprison you
For the color of your skin.
You see, Lugia, I'm colorblind,
What's outside doesn't count,
True evil's from withi-i-i-i-i-in!
Lugia: Oh, I can see so clearly now,
You've taught me quite a lesson.
Oh, thank you, thank you, Mewtwo-o-o-o-o,
You truly are a blessin'.
Mewtwo: (spoken) Aw, Lugia, that's sweet.
Eneti: Uh, I'm gonna vomit! (music ends)
Audience: (applause)
Lugia: Thank you! Thank you! Thanks so much! Thank you!
Steve Allen: (on control room monitor) (hums and bops) I was just talkin' to some of my friends on the street. (Moltar's monitor says:)
SAT 3
144 NW
TRY THE VEAL
Eneti: Uh huh. Uh, hey, hey there.
Steve Allen: Is that Mewtwo?
Eneti: Uh, yes, it is I, Mewtwo. (snickers) It, it's an honor to have you on the show. (Eneti's monitor says:)
SAT 3.14
144 NW
DUMBTH
Eneti: (snickers) Steve. (laughs)
Steve Allen: I'm very honored to, uh, permit you to be honored by talking to me, Mewzy. There, Twoie, whoever you are. (Eneti's monitor says:)
SAT 3.141
144 NW
BENNY GOODMAN STORY
Eneti: (laughs) Yeah, yeah. Do that noise with your armpits!
Steve Allen: (puts his hand in his armpit and flaps his arm, making bird noises with his mouth. As he does so, digits are added to the SAT number on the monitor until it says:)
SAT 3.1415926
Steve Allen: Is that what you mean?
Eneti: (laughs)
Mewtwo: Eneti, what's the holdup? What are you doing?
Eneti: (music begins, sings:)
"Eneti, what are you doing?"
It's a question I've heard all my life.
My parents don't understand me,
And neither does my wife.
Mewtwo: Eneti?
Eneti: She's a sweet and simple girl, my Linda.
Mewtwo: Eneti? Eneti!
Eneti: A lovely lava lass, you see...
Mewtwo: Eneti! Send out the guest! (music stops abruptly)
Eneti: Alright, alright! (throws lever, quick cuts of the following images: a test pattern from Brussles, an image of a satelite, a disclaimer of some sort from a news show, a test pattern from CNN London, as the images flash by, the number increases to 3.141592653; sends Steve to the studio monitor)
Mewtwo: (as monitor lowers from ceiling with Steve) Ladies and gentlemen, you've seen him, ya know him, ya love him, you go through a phase where you don't love him so much, yet you don't want to hurt him, so you don't dare tell him of your feelings, so you marry him, you bear his children, and you live out the rest of your days suffering from his cold and silent indifference, say hello to Steve Allen!
Steve Allen: Thank you.
Mewtwo: The pleasure's mine, Steverino. Have you met the legendary bird Lugia?
Steve Allen: Lugia? No, but I would be honored to meet any fellow musician. What does he play, by the way?
Mewtwo: He's our diving bird king of the keyboards!
Steve Allen: Ah, good.
Lugia: Hi, Steve. Mind if I snack on your head?
Mewtwo: Who-a-a-a-a! Hey, Steve, ya hear that?
Steve Allen: (laughs) Well, it makes me laugh, as you just saw, I found it amusing that someone would want to snack on my head. There's an old song, "Snack on my head", no, no, I'm sorry, that's "Time on my hands"...
Mewtwo: No, no no no no no no no, that's right, Steve. Show him, Lugia.
Lugia: (music starts, sings:)
There are heads just right for some snackin',
And I mean to snack on a few.
Come on, Steve, it's time to get crackin',
I got a lot o' snackin' to do!
Mewtwo: Oh, there are villains just right for some whackin',
And I mean to whack me a few.
Come on, Lugia, it's about to happen,
I got a lot o' whackin' to do!
Eneti: There are fires just right for some settin',
And I aim to set a few fires.
When those fires get set they'll be burnin'.
Mewtwo: Shut up, Eneti!
Lugia: We hate you!
Eneti: And.. um, er... (music ends abruptly)
Mewtwo: You're dumb!
Eneti: But... I was just... (Moltar's monitor says:)
MISTER MOON
Mewtwo: No! You're stupid! So just shut up, stupid!
Eneti: ... tryin' to...
Mewtwo: No!
Eneti: ... fit in.
Mewtwo: Stupid!
Eneti: Ugh!
Mewtwo: So, what do you think of my show, Steve?
Steve Allen: Well, it's the first of its kind, and, and so you're just as good as I am, I did the first of my kind, you've done the first of your kind.
Mewtwo: (music starts, sings:)
Then let the record so reflect,
'Twas I that got there first.
Steve Allen: Alright, then let the record so reflect.
Mewtwo: Even thought I never get
The credit I deserve.
Steve Allen: You raise a very sore point.
Mewtwo: Lah di dah di dah di dah.
Lugia: You forgot the words, you jerk!
Steve Allen: How you like that for a snappy comeback?
Mewtwo: Come and get it!
Come and get it!
Eneti: You're really really really gonna get it!
Mewtwo: You'll regret it
When you get it,
Because it isn't something that you want.
Lugia: What are you talking about?
Mewtwo: Shut up, Lugia,
I'm sick of your beak.
I'm gonna blast you
Into next week.
(aims his fist and psyblasts Lugia)
Lugia: (crisped) (coughs, then sings:)
Oh, I get it,
Now, this pain is very dear to me.
You see, when I get blasted,
It makes your intentions clear to me-e-e-e-e.
(coughs)
Eneti: Sittin' in the control room,
Waitin' for the break,
Waitin' for the bre-a-a-ak,
Waitin' for the break to co-o-o-o-ome.
Mewtwo: Shut up!
Audience: (applause)
INTERRUPT TRANSMISSION
RESUME TRANSMISSION
Eneti: (music starts, sings:)
Sittin' in the control room,
Waitin' for the break,
Waitin' for the bre-a-a-ak,
Waitin' for the break to en-n-n-n-n-n-nd!. (music ends)
Uh, isn't anyone gonna tell me to shut up?
Lugia: You don't deserve it.
Mewtwo: Yeah, and we're setting up the next bit, so shut up, stupid! (Eneti's monitor says:)
ENETI'S MONITOR SAYS
Eneti: Thank you.
Lugia: You just told him to shut up!
Mewtwo: I did?
Lugia: Yes, you did!
Mewtwo: Ah well... Now it's time for Steve Allen to do a little bit of his "Man on the Street" schtick.
Steve Allen: Yes, of course, I need a street, and I need at least one man. You have a sample man for me?
Mewtwo: Only the samplest. Celebi? (music begins)
Steve Allen: Hello, Celebi, can you hear me?
Celebi: (appearing in many different background scenes, sings:)
On the street,
On the street,
I think there's something stuck on my feet!
Life is great,
I feel grand,
I could eat a whole pound o' ham!
Hello, Mr. Sidewalk,
How'd you get so long?
Do you mind bein' under me
As I sing this happy song?
On the street,
On the street,
Whe-e-ere I a-a-am, I'm on-n-n the-e-e stre-e-e-e-e-eet!
On the street!
Steve Allen: (laughs) Well, I guess that constitutes a yes. Celebi!
Celebi: What?
Steve Allen: (says something in Celenese), eh?
Celebi: Oh boy! (laughs) Ah, boy, I get it! (laughs)
Steve Allen: You got it, good, well, go tell your mother.
Celebi: Oh, I won't.
Mewtwo: Wow, do you know Celebi's language?
Steve Allen: Are you surprised to learn that I actually speak Celenese?
Celebi: Hit me again, Steverino.
Steve Allen: (says something else in Celenese)
Celebi: Oh, that's what she said! (laughs)
Steve Allen: (laughs) I'm hip, but it was supposed to be just between you and me.
Celebi: You're funny, Steve Allen.
Steve Allen: Okay, Celebi, and, and Mewzy and Twoie, and all the dwarfs who are out there today around the old campfire.
Mewtwo: Thank you, Steve Allen. And from all of us here around the old campfire...
Celebi: (music starts, sings:)
It's.. been.. great!
It's been fun!
Mewtwo: But your interview is done.
So get out of the chair,
And get out of my hair!
Celebi: 'Cause it's almost like bein' in
Lo-o-o-o-o-ove! (music ends)
Audience: (applause)
Eneti: (with Andy Dick on control room monitor, which now shows SAT 3.14159265358; throws lever, creating a burst of feedback) Whoa, did you hear that? (digits are added until the next song begins, at which point it is up to SAT 3.141592653589793
Andy Dick: Yeah, I heard it really loud.
Eneti: I hit the wrong switch.
Andy Dick: Oh, man.
Eneti: I'm gonna do it again. (throws lever, creating another burst of feedback)
Andy Dick: (yells)
Eneti: (laughs)
Mewtwo: Eneti, what's going on in there?
Eneti: Uh, Andy Dick, comin' right up.
Mewtwo: (music starts) Andy Dick? Is that right, Eneti?
Eenti: Yep, that's right. We got Andy Dick.
Mewtwo: (sings:)
Oh my! I can't believe my ears!
I've waited for this moment for years!
How can this be?
Andy Dick's gonna talk to me?
Andy Dick!
Lugia: Andy Dick? Why did we get Andy Dick?
Eneti: Because Linda loves Andy Di-i-i-i-ick.
And as you know,
She's a sweet and simple girl, my Linda,
A lovely lava lass, you see. (Eneti's monitor says:)
DOWN MEMORY LANE
Lugia: Shut up!
Mewtwo: (music stops abruptly) Shut up! Stupid!
Lugia: We hate you!
Mewtwo: Wait a minute. Steve Allen... Andy Dick... they both have first names for last names! It's a "theme" show! Good work, stupid! (Eneti's monitor says:)
HOT FRESH POTATOES
Eneti: Uh, yeah, well, sure. That's.. what I had in mind.
Andy Dick: (breathes on glasses) Oh, Mewtwo. Hello!
Mewtwo: So, Andy, did you like our little Andy Dick song?
Andy Dick: That is sweet, that is sweet.
Mewtwo: It's a reprise of the song, "I Can't Believe We Got Steve Allen."
Andy Dick: Oh, so it's not, uh... (takes a deep breath) it's not that special.
Mewtwo: No no no, it's very special!
Andy Dick: Yeah, but you wrote it for Steve Allen, and then you just inserted my, no, it's fine, though, it's fine, I, I...
Mewtwo: Anyway, Steve Allen ate up a lot of time, so I don't reallly have a lot of...
Andy Dick: You don't have any!
Mewtwo: No, we don't have a ton of...
Andy Dick: You. Don't. Have. Any.
Lugia: (holding his blast rifle) Woo hoo! (cocks rifle) Looks like a feudin's on the way!
Eneti: (music starts, sings:)
Down in the holler,
Amongst the filth and squalor,
Looks like a feud there's gonna be.
Space Ghost: The number's been cut! (music stops abruptly) Look, Red, I don't really have a lot of time to be confrontational about this, so...
Andy Dick: You're right, I don't want to, either, actually, because I don't have superpowers.
Mewtwo: That's right, Andy, you wouldn't stand a chance against my destructo ray or my heat ray or my freeze ray or my...
Andy Dick: I know what you have. I know.
Mewtwo: (aiming at Andy) Andy...
Andy Dick: I know.
Mewtwo: That's better.
Andy Dick: I have an inviso belt, that I can, I can turn invisible. (looks down at his belt) Oh, I'm not wearing it.
Mewtwo: Hoo, you're not wearing it? Well, maybe it's at home in the magic closet!
Andy Dick: (laughs)
Mewtwo: You know, thinking about it, you don't have an inviso belt. (angry) Because only my colleagues and I wear them!
Andy Dick: Okay, um, you're right, I don't... I don't have one.
Mewtwo: Alright, now tell everyone at home!
Andy Dick: No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Mewtwo: Do it!
Andy Dick: I don't have an inviso belt. (sighs)
Mewtwo: Andy, sing your song.
Andy Dick: Oh, I have to sing it?
Mewtwo: Yes.
Andy Dick: Will you sing it with me?
Mewtwo: Sing! Sing like Judy Collins!
Andy Dick: (guitar accompaniment, sings:)
Mewtwo, Mewtwo, put down that stick.
Please don't beat up Andy Dick.
Mewtwo: (orchestra accompaniment, sings:)
Andy, Andy, you're getting me ticked!
Think I'll pummel Andy Dick!
Andy Dick: Mewtwo, Mewtwo, clickety click,
Mewtwo, don't be a space -
Mewtwo: Andy, Andy, clickety click,
Andy, don't be a -
Andy Dick: Mewtwo, don't be a -
Mewtwo: Andy, don't be a space -
Andy Dick: (together with Space Ghost's last line, so the guitar and orchestra are also together) Mewtwo don't be a -
Lugia: Hey, everybody, it's time for the big finale! (Eneti's monitor says:)
SAYS ENETI'S MONITOR
Mewtwo: It's time for the finale,
Lugia: It's time to end the show.
Eneti: The fun we've had is over now,
Mewtwo: That's right, it's time to go!
Suicune: (palm-face) I didn't have any lines today,
Lugia: That made some people glad!
Celebi: (dances into view) I'm really very sad!
Mewtwo: That's all the time we have today,
We finally get a chance,
To see while Eneti rolls the credits,
Andy Dick will dance.
Goodbye!
Lugia: Goodbye!
Eneti: Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye!
Mewtwo: Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye!
Good night, everybody!
(to Andy) Now, dance!
Andy Dick: A five, six, seven, eight... (tap dances to schmaltzy piano music while the credits roll) How much do you want, I can go on all day.
Mewtwo: Do it all day.
Andy Dick: Yeah, I can do anything, I can shuffle off to Buffalo.
Lugia: Hey, why don't you shuffle off to Mars?
Andy Dick: I can't, I can't shuffle off too far, though.
Lugia: Wuss. (piano ends)
EPISODE 54 BOATSHOW
Steve Allen: (hums and bops)
CONTACT VICIOUS PLANET
(Same address as in "Telethon")
VICIOUS PLANET INDUSTRIES
Space Ghost: This has been a Vicious Planet Industries production. Oh! (raspberry sound) That's what I did in rehearsal, and everybody laughed.
Mewtwo: (sings:) Oh, my! I can't believe my ears!
(X).(X)
Disclaimer: I have to put this in for one reason, when you read Vicious Mewtwo's 70th Fanfiction Anniversary Spectacular Whatever, please note that this episode was used to parody it. Thank you and enjoy Mewtwo: Coast to Coast Episode 54 "Boatshow"!
1 [2] 3 4 5 [6] 7 8 9 0
26
BEGIN TRANSMISSION
(Orchestra version of "Hit Single" theme, with snappy new graphics, and following titles:)
Vicious Planet Industries
Presents
O COAST
TO COAST!
Starring
MEWTWO
Co-starring
LUGIA
And
ENETI
Featuring
CELEBI
And
SUICUNE
Special Guests
STEVE ALLEN
And
ANDY DICK
Mewtwo: (fade in) Greetings! I am Mewtwo! My first guest tonight is the incredible, the incomparable Steve Allen! (pause) Steve Allen? Is that right, Eneti?
Eneti: (piano intro plays in background) Yep, that's right. We got Steve Allen.
Mewtwo: (sings:)
Oh my, I can't believe my ears,
I have waited for this moment for years.
How can this be?
Steve Allen's gonna talk to me?
Steve Allen!
Lugia: Steve Allen?
Mewtwo: Yes, Lugia, Steve Allen!
Why, he's the greatest talk show host,
From Atlantic to Pacific coast,
I really do not mean to boast,
That we've got Steve Allen.
Eneti: Hey, I got Steve Allen!
I twisted arms, I threatened harm,
In galaxies, I caused alarm,
Made many agents buy the farm,
Just to get you Steve Allen!
(Eneti's monitor says:)
HOLLYWOOD PALACE
Lugia: He's got you, M2, give him credit,
He doesn't just direct and edit,
Eneti needs to have some credi-i-i-it!
Mewtwo: Okay Eneti, Lugia's right,
I do not want to start a fight,
But if you cross me I just might
Pull Steve Allen!
Lugia & Eneti: Steve Allen?!
Mewtwo: I can't believe we got Steve Allen!
All: Steve Allen! (music ends)
Audience: (applause)
Mewtwo: Wow, Eneti, how'd you score Steve Allen anyway?
Eneti: (reading a book) I threatened to give his manager a third degree burn.
Lugia: Bonus!
Mewtwo: Lugia, play me to the desk. Something.. snappy!
Lugia: (sighs, then sings:)
Oh, I am but a diving bird,
So evil and so mean,
Forced into this position,
Is it because I'm pale green?
Mewtwo: (invisos to desk, then sings)
Oh, I did not imprison you
For the color of your skin.
You see, Lugia, I'm colorblind,
What's outside doesn't count,
True evil's from withi-i-i-i-i-in!
Lugia: Oh, I can see so clearly now,
You've taught me quite a lesson.
Oh, thank you, thank you, Mewtwo-o-o-o-o,
You truly are a blessin'.
Mewtwo: (spoken) Aw, Lugia, that's sweet.
Eneti: Uh, I'm gonna vomit! (music ends)
Audience: (applause)
Lugia: Thank you! Thank you! Thanks so much! Thank you!
Steve Allen: (on control room monitor) (hums and bops) I was just talkin' to some of my friends on the street. (Moltar's monitor says:)
SAT 3
144 NW
TRY THE VEAL
Eneti: Uh huh. Uh, hey, hey there.
Steve Allen: Is that Mewtwo?
Eneti: Uh, yes, it is I, Mewtwo. (snickers) It, it's an honor to have you on the show. (Eneti's monitor says:)
SAT 3.14
144 NW
DUMBTH
Eneti: (snickers) Steve. (laughs)
Steve Allen: I'm very honored to, uh, permit you to be honored by talking to me, Mewzy. There, Twoie, whoever you are. (Eneti's monitor says:)
SAT 3.141
144 NW
BENNY GOODMAN STORY
Eneti: (laughs) Yeah, yeah. Do that noise with your armpits!
Steve Allen: (puts his hand in his armpit and flaps his arm, making bird noises with his mouth. As he does so, digits are added to the SAT number on the monitor until it says:)
SAT 3.1415926
Steve Allen: Is that what you mean?
Eneti: (laughs)
Mewtwo: Eneti, what's the holdup? What are you doing?
Eneti: (music begins, sings:)
"Eneti, what are you doing?"
It's a question I've heard all my life.
My parents don't understand me,
And neither does my wife.
Mewtwo: Eneti?
Eneti: She's a sweet and simple girl, my Linda.
Mewtwo: Eneti? Eneti!
Eneti: A lovely lava lass, you see...
Mewtwo: Eneti! Send out the guest! (music stops abruptly)
Eneti: Alright, alright! (throws lever, quick cuts of the following images: a test pattern from Brussles, an image of a satelite, a disclaimer of some sort from a news show, a test pattern from CNN London, as the images flash by, the number increases to 3.141592653; sends Steve to the studio monitor)
Mewtwo: (as monitor lowers from ceiling with Steve) Ladies and gentlemen, you've seen him, ya know him, ya love him, you go through a phase where you don't love him so much, yet you don't want to hurt him, so you don't dare tell him of your feelings, so you marry him, you bear his children, and you live out the rest of your days suffering from his cold and silent indifference, say hello to Steve Allen!
Steve Allen: Thank you.
Mewtwo: The pleasure's mine, Steverino. Have you met the legendary bird Lugia?
Steve Allen: Lugia? No, but I would be honored to meet any fellow musician. What does he play, by the way?
Mewtwo: He's our diving bird king of the keyboards!
Steve Allen: Ah, good.
Lugia: Hi, Steve. Mind if I snack on your head?
Mewtwo: Who-a-a-a-a! Hey, Steve, ya hear that?
Steve Allen: (laughs) Well, it makes me laugh, as you just saw, I found it amusing that someone would want to snack on my head. There's an old song, "Snack on my head", no, no, I'm sorry, that's "Time on my hands"...
Mewtwo: No, no no no no no no no, that's right, Steve. Show him, Lugia.
Lugia: (music starts, sings:)
There are heads just right for some snackin',
And I mean to snack on a few.
Come on, Steve, it's time to get crackin',
I got a lot o' snackin' to do!
Mewtwo: Oh, there are villains just right for some whackin',
And I mean to whack me a few.
Come on, Lugia, it's about to happen,
I got a lot o' whackin' to do!
Eneti: There are fires just right for some settin',
And I aim to set a few fires.
When those fires get set they'll be burnin'.
Mewtwo: Shut up, Eneti!
Lugia: We hate you!
Eneti: And.. um, er... (music ends abruptly)
Mewtwo: You're dumb!
Eneti: But... I was just... (Moltar's monitor says:)
MISTER MOON
Mewtwo: No! You're stupid! So just shut up, stupid!
Eneti: ... tryin' to...
Mewtwo: No!
Eneti: ... fit in.
Mewtwo: Stupid!
Eneti: Ugh!
Mewtwo: So, what do you think of my show, Steve?
Steve Allen: Well, it's the first of its kind, and, and so you're just as good as I am, I did the first of my kind, you've done the first of your kind.
Mewtwo: (music starts, sings:)
Then let the record so reflect,
'Twas I that got there first.
Steve Allen: Alright, then let the record so reflect.
Mewtwo: Even thought I never get
The credit I deserve.
Steve Allen: You raise a very sore point.
Mewtwo: Lah di dah di dah di dah.
Lugia: You forgot the words, you jerk!
Steve Allen: How you like that for a snappy comeback?
Mewtwo: Come and get it!
Come and get it!
Eneti: You're really really really gonna get it!
Mewtwo: You'll regret it
When you get it,
Because it isn't something that you want.
Lugia: What are you talking about?
Mewtwo: Shut up, Lugia,
I'm sick of your beak.
I'm gonna blast you
Into next week.
(aims his fist and psyblasts Lugia)
Lugia: (crisped) (coughs, then sings:)
Oh, I get it,
Now, this pain is very dear to me.
You see, when I get blasted,
It makes your intentions clear to me-e-e-e-e.
(coughs)
Eneti: Sittin' in the control room,
Waitin' for the break,
Waitin' for the bre-a-a-ak,
Waitin' for the break to co-o-o-o-ome.
Mewtwo: Shut up!
Audience: (applause)
INTERRUPT TRANSMISSION
RESUME TRANSMISSION
Eneti: (music starts, sings:)
Sittin' in the control room,
Waitin' for the break,
Waitin' for the bre-a-a-ak,
Waitin' for the break to en-n-n-n-n-n-nd!. (music ends)
Uh, isn't anyone gonna tell me to shut up?
Lugia: You don't deserve it.
Mewtwo: Yeah, and we're setting up the next bit, so shut up, stupid! (Eneti's monitor says:)
ENETI'S MONITOR SAYS
Eneti: Thank you.
Lugia: You just told him to shut up!
Mewtwo: I did?
Lugia: Yes, you did!
Mewtwo: Ah well... Now it's time for Steve Allen to do a little bit of his "Man on the Street" schtick.
Steve Allen: Yes, of course, I need a street, and I need at least one man. You have a sample man for me?
Mewtwo: Only the samplest. Celebi? (music begins)
Steve Allen: Hello, Celebi, can you hear me?
Celebi: (appearing in many different background scenes, sings:)
On the street,
On the street,
I think there's something stuck on my feet!
Life is great,
I feel grand,
I could eat a whole pound o' ham!
Hello, Mr. Sidewalk,
How'd you get so long?
Do you mind bein' under me
As I sing this happy song?
On the street,
On the street,
Whe-e-ere I a-a-am, I'm on-n-n the-e-e stre-e-e-e-e-eet!
On the street!
Steve Allen: (laughs) Well, I guess that constitutes a yes. Celebi!
Celebi: What?
Steve Allen: (says something in Celenese), eh?
Celebi: Oh boy! (laughs) Ah, boy, I get it! (laughs)
Steve Allen: You got it, good, well, go tell your mother.
Celebi: Oh, I won't.
Mewtwo: Wow, do you know Celebi's language?
Steve Allen: Are you surprised to learn that I actually speak Celenese?
Celebi: Hit me again, Steverino.
Steve Allen: (says something else in Celenese)
Celebi: Oh, that's what she said! (laughs)
Steve Allen: (laughs) I'm hip, but it was supposed to be just between you and me.
Celebi: You're funny, Steve Allen.
Steve Allen: Okay, Celebi, and, and Mewzy and Twoie, and all the dwarfs who are out there today around the old campfire.
Mewtwo: Thank you, Steve Allen. And from all of us here around the old campfire...
Celebi: (music starts, sings:)
It's.. been.. great!
It's been fun!
Mewtwo: But your interview is done.
So get out of the chair,
And get out of my hair!
Celebi: 'Cause it's almost like bein' in
Lo-o-o-o-o-ove! (music ends)
Audience: (applause)
Eneti: (with Andy Dick on control room monitor, which now shows SAT 3.14159265358; throws lever, creating a burst of feedback) Whoa, did you hear that? (digits are added until the next song begins, at which point it is up to SAT 3.141592653589793
Andy Dick: Yeah, I heard it really loud.
Eneti: I hit the wrong switch.
Andy Dick: Oh, man.
Eneti: I'm gonna do it again. (throws lever, creating another burst of feedback)
Andy Dick: (yells)
Eneti: (laughs)
Mewtwo: Eneti, what's going on in there?
Eneti: Uh, Andy Dick, comin' right up.
Mewtwo: (music starts) Andy Dick? Is that right, Eneti?
Eenti: Yep, that's right. We got Andy Dick.
Mewtwo: (sings:)
Oh my! I can't believe my ears!
I've waited for this moment for years!
How can this be?
Andy Dick's gonna talk to me?
Andy Dick!
Lugia: Andy Dick? Why did we get Andy Dick?
Eneti: Because Linda loves Andy Di-i-i-i-ick.
And as you know,
She's a sweet and simple girl, my Linda,
A lovely lava lass, you see. (Eneti's monitor says:)
DOWN MEMORY LANE
Lugia: Shut up!
Mewtwo: (music stops abruptly) Shut up! Stupid!
Lugia: We hate you!
Mewtwo: Wait a minute. Steve Allen... Andy Dick... they both have first names for last names! It's a "theme" show! Good work, stupid! (Eneti's monitor says:)
HOT FRESH POTATOES
Eneti: Uh, yeah, well, sure. That's.. what I had in mind.
Andy Dick: (breathes on glasses) Oh, Mewtwo. Hello!
Mewtwo: So, Andy, did you like our little Andy Dick song?
Andy Dick: That is sweet, that is sweet.
Mewtwo: It's a reprise of the song, "I Can't Believe We Got Steve Allen."
Andy Dick: Oh, so it's not, uh... (takes a deep breath) it's not that special.
Mewtwo: No no no, it's very special!
Andy Dick: Yeah, but you wrote it for Steve Allen, and then you just inserted my, no, it's fine, though, it's fine, I, I...
Mewtwo: Anyway, Steve Allen ate up a lot of time, so I don't reallly have a lot of...
Andy Dick: You don't have any!
Mewtwo: No, we don't have a ton of...
Andy Dick: You. Don't. Have. Any.
Lugia: (holding his blast rifle) Woo hoo! (cocks rifle) Looks like a feudin's on the way!
Eneti: (music starts, sings:)
Down in the holler,
Amongst the filth and squalor,
Looks like a feud there's gonna be.
Space Ghost: The number's been cut! (music stops abruptly) Look, Red, I don't really have a lot of time to be confrontational about this, so...
Andy Dick: You're right, I don't want to, either, actually, because I don't have superpowers.
Mewtwo: That's right, Andy, you wouldn't stand a chance against my destructo ray or my heat ray or my freeze ray or my...
Andy Dick: I know what you have. I know.
Mewtwo: (aiming at Andy) Andy...
Andy Dick: I know.
Mewtwo: That's better.
Andy Dick: I have an inviso belt, that I can, I can turn invisible. (looks down at his belt) Oh, I'm not wearing it.
Mewtwo: Hoo, you're not wearing it? Well, maybe it's at home in the magic closet!
Andy Dick: (laughs)
Mewtwo: You know, thinking about it, you don't have an inviso belt. (angry) Because only my colleagues and I wear them!
Andy Dick: Okay, um, you're right, I don't... I don't have one.
Mewtwo: Alright, now tell everyone at home!
Andy Dick: No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Mewtwo: Do it!
Andy Dick: I don't have an inviso belt. (sighs)
Mewtwo: Andy, sing your song.
Andy Dick: Oh, I have to sing it?
Mewtwo: Yes.
Andy Dick: Will you sing it with me?
Mewtwo: Sing! Sing like Judy Collins!
Andy Dick: (guitar accompaniment, sings:)
Mewtwo, Mewtwo, put down that stick.
Please don't beat up Andy Dick.
Mewtwo: (orchestra accompaniment, sings:)
Andy, Andy, you're getting me ticked!
Think I'll pummel Andy Dick!
Andy Dick: Mewtwo, Mewtwo, clickety click,
Mewtwo, don't be a space -
Mewtwo: Andy, Andy, clickety click,
Andy, don't be a -
Andy Dick: Mewtwo, don't be a -
Mewtwo: Andy, don't be a space -
Andy Dick: (together with Space Ghost's last line, so the guitar and orchestra are also together) Mewtwo don't be a -
Lugia: Hey, everybody, it's time for the big finale! (Eneti's monitor says:)
SAYS ENETI'S MONITOR
Mewtwo: It's time for the finale,
Lugia: It's time to end the show.
Eneti: The fun we've had is over now,
Mewtwo: That's right, it's time to go!
Suicune: (palm-face) I didn't have any lines today,
Lugia: That made some people glad!
Celebi: (dances into view) I'm really very sad!
Mewtwo: That's all the time we have today,
We finally get a chance,
To see while Eneti rolls the credits,
Andy Dick will dance.
Goodbye!
Lugia: Goodbye!
Eneti: Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye!
Mewtwo: Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye!
Good night, everybody!
(to Andy) Now, dance!
Andy Dick: A five, six, seven, eight... (tap dances to schmaltzy piano music while the credits roll) How much do you want, I can go on all day.
Mewtwo: Do it all day.
Andy Dick: Yeah, I can do anything, I can shuffle off to Buffalo.
Lugia: Hey, why don't you shuffle off to Mars?
Andy Dick: I can't, I can't shuffle off too far, though.
Lugia: Wuss. (piano ends)
EPISODE 54 BOATSHOW
Steve Allen: (hums and bops)
CONTACT VICIOUS PLANET
(Same address as in "Telethon")
VICIOUS PLANET INDUSTRIES
Space Ghost: This has been a Vicious Planet Industries production. Oh! (raspberry sound) That's what I did in rehearsal, and everybody laughed.
Mewtwo: (sings:) Oh, my! I can't believe my ears!
(X).(X)