Swagger
Disclaimer: This is the second time Mewtwo is not the host of Coast to Coast. This time, Tron and Bon Bonne are taking Mewtwo and Eneti's place. But Lugia stays unfortunently...
(Open to the original set)
Vicious Mewtwo: (looks around the set)
Lugia: (sips his mug of coffee)
(A small crash is heard)
Vicious Mewtwo: How ya doin', Lugia?
Luiga: Feh! It's pretty stupid here...
Vicious Mewtwo: I know...
(A long pause insures, then Tron Bonne walks in unsuspectedly)
Tron Bonne: Hello, Vicious.
Vicious Mewtwo: Where's the Two?
Tron Bonne: Um...I don't know...
Lugia: Mewtwo and Eneti? Uh, they went somewhere... (Wait, that means...)
Tron Bonne: (Since those two are gone...)
Lugia: Yeah!! (evil laugh) It's the Tron Bonne show now!
Tron Bonne: Hey, you're right!
Vicious Mewtwo: Making me the guest.
Tron Bonne: I guess that's right too. Hey, did you catch RPG Party last night?
Vicious Mewtwo: (with Lan Hiarki's voice-over) Are you serious?
Tron Bonne: (laughs)
Vicious Mewtwo: (winks at Tron) Hey, Tron. Take off, eh?
Tron Bonne: Hey, hoser! YOU take off!
Lugia: Yeah, take off!
Bon Bonne: BABU!
Lugia: What the...
Bon Bonne: (standing in the control-room) Ba ba, babu!
Vicious Mewtwo: Looks like, Baby Bonne got a hold of the control panel, eh, Tron? (laughs)
Tron Bonne: So, you write fanfictions? That's pretty nice. Where do you get your ideas?
Vicious Mewtwo: (dead silence)
Tron Bonne: Well?
Vicious Mewtwo: Um... (pause) I get my ideas...from, uh, from past experiences.
Tron Bonne: Such as?
Vicious Mewtwo: (laughs) Do I have to tell everyone?!
Lugia: Yes, tell us all!
(Black screen with subtitles: MEANWHILE, BACK AT MT. MOON...)
Mewtwo: Eneti's it seems these Clefairies have gotten us beat. I haven't said it before, but...it looks like the end. Eneti, what are we going to do?
Eneti: How should I know? I'm going out for a smoke. (Eneti leaves, Mewtwo stands there and the Clefairies start moving towards him)
Mewtwo: Oh no...I'M DOOMED!!! (Dramatic sting music for 15 seconds) Oh no...MY SHOW!!! (Dramatic sting music for 20 seconds) Oh no...CLEFAIRIES!!! (Dramatic sting music a la that one episode of South Park with the volcano, cut back to set)
Vicious Mewtwo: What's with the metal plate?
Tron Bonne: What metal plate?
Lugia: You know, the "metal" plate?
Tron Bonne: What, this? (offscreen, sound of unzipping)
Lugia: (stares back with wide eyes)
Tron Bonne: I don't see what you have to stare at. What is it with the metal plate? (long pause, then looks down) Ohhhhhhh...the "metal" plate.
Lugia: Why is that there?
Tron Bonne: What, you wanna see?
Bon Bonne: Babu?
Lugia: What's behind it?
Tron Bonne: Um, it's kinda like a private thing, so...is anyone watching?
Vicious Mewtwo: Hey, like I say, "If you want to do something weird, do it."
Lugia: So...what's behind the plate.
Tron Bonne: Are you sure you want to see?
Vicious Mewtwo: Oh, he's sure.
Tron Bonne: Okay then... (cut to Lugia, sound of Tron removing her metal plate)
Lugia: (stares with big anime eyes, starts gasping and breathing hard)
Vicious Mewtwo: (his left eye brow pops up)
Tron Bonne: What?
(Black screen again, this time with subtitles: MEANWHILE, BACK AT MT. MOON...)
Mewtwo: Clefairy Master!
C. Master: Yes, it is I, Clefairy Master! I've finally captured you...Mewtwo!
Mewtwo: You can't capture me yet! (teleports out)
C. Master: I forgot he could do that! (cut back to set)
Tron Bonne: (sitting on Lugia's lap) Did you like what you saw?
Lugia: It was beautiful.
Tron Bonne: Great, that'll be $10 dollars.
Lugia: Reeah! Fine!
Tron Bonne: Great, now can I finish the show?
Lugia: Hang on, stay here...in my lap and do the show.
Tron Bonne: But I don't have my pants on. Plus, I think Vicious is staring at me.
Vicious Mewtwo: (stares silently with a smirk)
Tron Bonne: I feel uncomfortable, Lugia.
Lugia: Aw, come on. You did it for Celebi and he's standing of there like an idiot.
Celebi: I got a doodle in my noodle, and his name is MINKY BOODLE!
Lugia: Shut up, Celebi!
Vicious Mewtwo: Hey, you like gravy?
Celebi: I LOVE GRAVY! WHO LOVES GRAVY?!
Ed: Gravy!
Vicious Mewtwo: Oh. Ed!
Ed: Hello!
Celebi: I want my gravy!
Ed: Buttered Toast!
Tron Bonne: Lugia, can I crouch down and hide for a while?
Lugia: (stares back at her in shock)
Tron Bonne: I mean, like, just to, just to hide.
Lugia: Uh...um...
Celebi: Let's go get some gravy!
Ed: I love chickens!
Celebi: (scats Hanson's "Mmmbop" with Ed) Gonna get gravy!
Vicious Mewtwo: Are we shooting today, cause, uh, I gotta, I gotta skate in five minutes.
Lugia: Yeah, go now. I gotta swagger down here.
Vicious Mewtwo: What does that mean? (laughs sheepishly) You wanna score with Tron?
Tron Bonne: Yeah, I don't care if I like, no, love Megaman, I wanna score with Lugia.
Lugia: Well, I am quite the ladiesman, er, bird. (evil laugh)
Vicious Mewtwo: Ok, um, thank you for having me on the show.
(The screen goes wavy, Vicious's last word 'show' echoes, the screen now shows Mewtwo talking with Vicious Mewtwo)
Mewtwo: ...where they came in on me and tried to kill me, so I said, "Hunker down, cause Mewtwo's coming to get some!" (long pause) So, Vicious, what do you do?
Vicious Mewtwo: Um, I write, uh, fanfiction.
Lugia: (asleep, talking in his sleep regarding words about him and Tron having XXX(WORD MEANING BEING INTIMATE)
Vicious Mewtwo: Hey, Lugia!
Lugia: (holding his left wing) Oh, God, you're so beautiful!
Mewtwo: LUGIA! WAKE UP!
Lugia: (squeezes his wing, moaning)
Mewtwo: (psyblasts Lugia)
Lugia: (cough, cough) What was that for?!
Mewtwo: You're sick, you know that?
Vicious Mewtwo: (laughs)
Mewtwo: What's so funny?
Vicious Mewtwo: It's kinda reminding me of Curling Flowers Mew, remember that?
Mewtwo: Ah, yes. The XXX(ANOTHER WORD MEANING BEING INTIMATE)
Vicious Mewtwo: Who keeps doing that? What's wrong with the word XXX(YET ANOTHER WORD MEANING BEING INTIMATE), hey! Don't start on me!
(Flashback sequence begins, cut to the set with Sarah Jessica Parker talking to Lugia, instead of Mewtwo)
Lugia: That's why I killed Mewtwo!
Sarah Jessica Parker: You killed Mewtwo?
Lugia: Sure did!
Sarah Jessica Parker: Wow, you're pretty built for a pokémon. (laughs)
Lugia: (purrs like a cat) Hey, Jessie.
Sarah Jessica Parker: What?
Lugia: Wanna have some big fat crazy XXX(ANOTHER WORD MEANING...YOU KNOW BY NOW, DON'T YOU?) with me?
Sarah Jessica Parker: (like Austin Powers) Yeah, baby! Yeah!
Lugia: (evil laugh)
Mewtwo: (voiced-over) Hey, where was I?
(Flashback sequence ends, cut back to the set)
Mewtwo: I said WE did that! Not you!
Vicious Mewtwo: It was my idea that Lugia and Sarah did...ahem, never mind.
Mewtwo: Yeah, "Never mind" is right!
Vicious Mewtwo: (laughs)
Mewtwo: Is something funny?
Vicious Mewtwo: (pause) Um...no...
Mewtwo: (raises fist)
Vicious Mewtwo: No, Mewtwo...
Mewtwo: And it's not funny...is it?
Vicious Mewtwo: Nooooo, Mewtwo...
Mewtwo: (long pause) You know, Vicious, I saw last night's screenng of your interveiw with Raikou, and we saw a lotta things!
Vicious Mewtwo: Oh, yeah! Tron Bonne: Coast to Coast, I loved every moment of it...
Mewtwo: I bet you did, but it's not going to see the light of day, now is it?
Vicious Mewtwo: Oh, cause Tron took off her metal plate and we all saw how Lugia and Tron... (pause)
Mewtwo: She took it off?
Vicious Mewtwo: Yeah.
Lugia: God, it was beautiful! You should've been there! I swaggered with her!
Eneti: (laughs) And this true, right?
Lugia: Oh, yeah. I ???? her on the set! (evil laugh)
Vicious Mewtwo: Lugia!
Lugia: Vicious!
Vicious Mewtwo: Lugia!!
Lugia: Vicious!!
Mewtwo: Enough! And, Lugia...was this all true?
Lugia: (long pause) No.
Vicious Mewtwo: It's a movie I made.
Mewtwo: What is it?
Vicious Mewtwo: Swagger.
Mewtwo: Let me guess. Is it rated NC-21 might I ask?
Vicious Mewtwo: Who said it's not?
Mewtwo: I did, buster!
(The set is now filled with dead silence)
Vicious Mewtwo: Well, I gotta skate.
Lugia: Hang on, I'm goin' with you!
Mewtwo: No, you stay here! I'm gonna psyblast so hard, it'll make your head spin, because you're dead!
Vicious Mewtwo: (with a deep, dark voice) The bird will come with me!
Mewtwo: No, it can't be! Viotron, the Polisher?!
(Vicious Mewtwo zaps off screen and is replaced by Viotron, The Polisher)
Mewtwo: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
Viotron, The Polisher: Yes, I am here! And I've come for one reason and one reason only! To make the floor so slippery, you'll fall for the rest of your life! (dark evil laugh)
Mewtwo: Ok, that was all wrong, let's run through it again.
SWAGGER
(Credits roll)
Mewtwo: I still don't understand.
VICIOUS STREET
Lugia: I think you never will either.
(X).(X)
Disclaimer: This is the second time Mewtwo is not the host of Coast to Coast. This time, Tron and Bon Bonne are taking Mewtwo and Eneti's place. But Lugia stays unfortunently...
(Open to the original set)
Vicious Mewtwo: (looks around the set)
Lugia: (sips his mug of coffee)
(A small crash is heard)
Vicious Mewtwo: How ya doin', Lugia?
Luiga: Feh! It's pretty stupid here...
Vicious Mewtwo: I know...
(A long pause insures, then Tron Bonne walks in unsuspectedly)
Tron Bonne: Hello, Vicious.
Vicious Mewtwo: Where's the Two?
Tron Bonne: Um...I don't know...
Lugia: Mewtwo and Eneti? Uh, they went somewhere... (Wait, that means...)
Tron Bonne: (Since those two are gone...)
Lugia: Yeah!! (evil laugh) It's the Tron Bonne show now!
Tron Bonne: Hey, you're right!
Vicious Mewtwo: Making me the guest.
Tron Bonne: I guess that's right too. Hey, did you catch RPG Party last night?
Vicious Mewtwo: (with Lan Hiarki's voice-over) Are you serious?
Tron Bonne: (laughs)
Vicious Mewtwo: (winks at Tron) Hey, Tron. Take off, eh?
Tron Bonne: Hey, hoser! YOU take off!
Lugia: Yeah, take off!
Bon Bonne: BABU!
Lugia: What the...
Bon Bonne: (standing in the control-room) Ba ba, babu!
Vicious Mewtwo: Looks like, Baby Bonne got a hold of the control panel, eh, Tron? (laughs)
Tron Bonne: So, you write fanfictions? That's pretty nice. Where do you get your ideas?
Vicious Mewtwo: (dead silence)
Tron Bonne: Well?
Vicious Mewtwo: Um... (pause) I get my ideas...from, uh, from past experiences.
Tron Bonne: Such as?
Vicious Mewtwo: (laughs) Do I have to tell everyone?!
Lugia: Yes, tell us all!
(Black screen with subtitles: MEANWHILE, BACK AT MT. MOON...)
Mewtwo: Eneti's it seems these Clefairies have gotten us beat. I haven't said it before, but...it looks like the end. Eneti, what are we going to do?
Eneti: How should I know? I'm going out for a smoke. (Eneti leaves, Mewtwo stands there and the Clefairies start moving towards him)
Mewtwo: Oh no...I'M DOOMED!!! (Dramatic sting music for 15 seconds) Oh no...MY SHOW!!! (Dramatic sting music for 20 seconds) Oh no...CLEFAIRIES!!! (Dramatic sting music a la that one episode of South Park with the volcano, cut back to set)
Vicious Mewtwo: What's with the metal plate?
Tron Bonne: What metal plate?
Lugia: You know, the "metal" plate?
Tron Bonne: What, this? (offscreen, sound of unzipping)
Lugia: (stares back with wide eyes)
Tron Bonne: I don't see what you have to stare at. What is it with the metal plate? (long pause, then looks down) Ohhhhhhh...the "metal" plate.
Lugia: Why is that there?
Tron Bonne: What, you wanna see?
Bon Bonne: Babu?
Lugia: What's behind it?
Tron Bonne: Um, it's kinda like a private thing, so...is anyone watching?
Vicious Mewtwo: Hey, like I say, "If you want to do something weird, do it."
Lugia: So...what's behind the plate.
Tron Bonne: Are you sure you want to see?
Vicious Mewtwo: Oh, he's sure.
Tron Bonne: Okay then... (cut to Lugia, sound of Tron removing her metal plate)
Lugia: (stares with big anime eyes, starts gasping and breathing hard)
Vicious Mewtwo: (his left eye brow pops up)
Tron Bonne: What?
(Black screen again, this time with subtitles: MEANWHILE, BACK AT MT. MOON...)
Mewtwo: Clefairy Master!
C. Master: Yes, it is I, Clefairy Master! I've finally captured you...Mewtwo!
Mewtwo: You can't capture me yet! (teleports out)
C. Master: I forgot he could do that! (cut back to set)
Tron Bonne: (sitting on Lugia's lap) Did you like what you saw?
Lugia: It was beautiful.
Tron Bonne: Great, that'll be $10 dollars.
Lugia: Reeah! Fine!
Tron Bonne: Great, now can I finish the show?
Lugia: Hang on, stay here...in my lap and do the show.
Tron Bonne: But I don't have my pants on. Plus, I think Vicious is staring at me.
Vicious Mewtwo: (stares silently with a smirk)
Tron Bonne: I feel uncomfortable, Lugia.
Lugia: Aw, come on. You did it for Celebi and he's standing of there like an idiot.
Celebi: I got a doodle in my noodle, and his name is MINKY BOODLE!
Lugia: Shut up, Celebi!
Vicious Mewtwo: Hey, you like gravy?
Celebi: I LOVE GRAVY! WHO LOVES GRAVY?!
Ed: Gravy!
Vicious Mewtwo: Oh. Ed!
Ed: Hello!
Celebi: I want my gravy!
Ed: Buttered Toast!
Tron Bonne: Lugia, can I crouch down and hide for a while?
Lugia: (stares back at her in shock)
Tron Bonne: I mean, like, just to, just to hide.
Lugia: Uh...um...
Celebi: Let's go get some gravy!
Ed: I love chickens!
Celebi: (scats Hanson's "Mmmbop" with Ed) Gonna get gravy!
Vicious Mewtwo: Are we shooting today, cause, uh, I gotta, I gotta skate in five minutes.
Lugia: Yeah, go now. I gotta swagger down here.
Vicious Mewtwo: What does that mean? (laughs sheepishly) You wanna score with Tron?
Tron Bonne: Yeah, I don't care if I like, no, love Megaman, I wanna score with Lugia.
Lugia: Well, I am quite the ladiesman, er, bird. (evil laugh)
Vicious Mewtwo: Ok, um, thank you for having me on the show.
(The screen goes wavy, Vicious's last word 'show' echoes, the screen now shows Mewtwo talking with Vicious Mewtwo)
Mewtwo: ...where they came in on me and tried to kill me, so I said, "Hunker down, cause Mewtwo's coming to get some!" (long pause) So, Vicious, what do you do?
Vicious Mewtwo: Um, I write, uh, fanfiction.
Lugia: (asleep, talking in his sleep regarding words about him and Tron having XXX(WORD MEANING BEING INTIMATE)
Vicious Mewtwo: Hey, Lugia!
Lugia: (holding his left wing) Oh, God, you're so beautiful!
Mewtwo: LUGIA! WAKE UP!
Lugia: (squeezes his wing, moaning)
Mewtwo: (psyblasts Lugia)
Lugia: (cough, cough) What was that for?!
Mewtwo: You're sick, you know that?
Vicious Mewtwo: (laughs)
Mewtwo: What's so funny?
Vicious Mewtwo: It's kinda reminding me of Curling Flowers Mew, remember that?
Mewtwo: Ah, yes. The XXX(ANOTHER WORD MEANING BEING INTIMATE)
Vicious Mewtwo: Who keeps doing that? What's wrong with the word XXX(YET ANOTHER WORD MEANING BEING INTIMATE), hey! Don't start on me!
(Flashback sequence begins, cut to the set with Sarah Jessica Parker talking to Lugia, instead of Mewtwo)
Lugia: That's why I killed Mewtwo!
Sarah Jessica Parker: You killed Mewtwo?
Lugia: Sure did!
Sarah Jessica Parker: Wow, you're pretty built for a pokémon. (laughs)
Lugia: (purrs like a cat) Hey, Jessie.
Sarah Jessica Parker: What?
Lugia: Wanna have some big fat crazy XXX(ANOTHER WORD MEANING...YOU KNOW BY NOW, DON'T YOU?) with me?
Sarah Jessica Parker: (like Austin Powers) Yeah, baby! Yeah!
Lugia: (evil laugh)
Mewtwo: (voiced-over) Hey, where was I?
(Flashback sequence ends, cut back to the set)
Mewtwo: I said WE did that! Not you!
Vicious Mewtwo: It was my idea that Lugia and Sarah did...ahem, never mind.
Mewtwo: Yeah, "Never mind" is right!
Vicious Mewtwo: (laughs)
Mewtwo: Is something funny?
Vicious Mewtwo: (pause) Um...no...
Mewtwo: (raises fist)
Vicious Mewtwo: No, Mewtwo...
Mewtwo: And it's not funny...is it?
Vicious Mewtwo: Nooooo, Mewtwo...
Mewtwo: (long pause) You know, Vicious, I saw last night's screenng of your interveiw with Raikou, and we saw a lotta things!
Vicious Mewtwo: Oh, yeah! Tron Bonne: Coast to Coast, I loved every moment of it...
Mewtwo: I bet you did, but it's not going to see the light of day, now is it?
Vicious Mewtwo: Oh, cause Tron took off her metal plate and we all saw how Lugia and Tron... (pause)
Mewtwo: She took it off?
Vicious Mewtwo: Yeah.
Lugia: God, it was beautiful! You should've been there! I swaggered with her!
Eneti: (laughs) And this true, right?
Lugia: Oh, yeah. I ???? her on the set! (evil laugh)
Vicious Mewtwo: Lugia!
Lugia: Vicious!
Vicious Mewtwo: Lugia!!
Lugia: Vicious!!
Mewtwo: Enough! And, Lugia...was this all true?
Lugia: (long pause) No.
Vicious Mewtwo: It's a movie I made.
Mewtwo: What is it?
Vicious Mewtwo: Swagger.
Mewtwo: Let me guess. Is it rated NC-21 might I ask?
Vicious Mewtwo: Who said it's not?
Mewtwo: I did, buster!
(The set is now filled with dead silence)
Vicious Mewtwo: Well, I gotta skate.
Lugia: Hang on, I'm goin' with you!
Mewtwo: No, you stay here! I'm gonna psyblast so hard, it'll make your head spin, because you're dead!
Vicious Mewtwo: (with a deep, dark voice) The bird will come with me!
Mewtwo: No, it can't be! Viotron, the Polisher?!
(Vicious Mewtwo zaps off screen and is replaced by Viotron, The Polisher)
Mewtwo: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
Viotron, The Polisher: Yes, I am here! And I've come for one reason and one reason only! To make the floor so slippery, you'll fall for the rest of your life! (dark evil laugh)
Mewtwo: Ok, that was all wrong, let's run through it again.
SWAGGER
(Credits roll)
Mewtwo: I still don't understand.
VICIOUS STREET
Lugia: I think you never will either.
(X).(X)