Touch Me by Globuuli
May spoil 'Prisoner of Azkaban'
BE WARNED: Character death, angst, hint of slash.
"Touch me."
The whisper was hardly audible despite the deathly silence in the small house. Sirius gently stroked his lover's face, but still he winced from the pain. He was sitting on the cold floor, holding Remus on his lap, looking down into his beautiful eyes now filled with so much pain Sirius just wanted to scream. Remus was no stranger to pain, but Sirius still doubted if he had ever even in his worst nightmares imagined anything like this. Shit, HE could almost feel the pain emitting from the tortured body.
"Touch me and it will go away."
Tears filled Sirius' eyes but he fought them back, he didn't want to miss a thing now, not even though he knew this would haunt his nights for the rest of his life. No, he didn't want to think about the rest of his life. Not now. Now he wanted to memorize every little detail. Every shade of colour in his mate's hair from grey to deep brown, the softness of it. The pain in his golden brown eyes. The slight weight of him.
He knew all too well his touch wouldn't make this go away, but how could he deny anything from the broken creature in his arms, and so he caressed him ever so lightly. As he felt the blood seep through his robe something inside him screamed to do something, grab his wand, take Remus somewhere, anywhere. Anything to make things right. Still he only held him. He would've poured his life into the failing body if he had thought it would help, but there was nothing that would even postpone the inevitable.
He had known that from the moment he had sighted their house from the top of the nearby hill and seen the mark hovering over it. He had screamed inside his helmet, almost going mad with the knowledge of what he'd find inside. Still he had entered, and he was so glad he had. Which one of them had they wanted to torture with this? Both? Leaving him broken beyond all help but still breathing, still conscious when his lover arrived. Well, they had failed miserably.
He was almost grateful for them for these last moments together. Moments just long enough there wouldn't be need for 'I didn't even get to say goodbye' later. If it was selfish to be glad for these moments of torment, then he was willing to be a selfish bastard. But the look in Remus' eyes when he kneeled on the bloody floor next to him crying his name had told he shared the heretic thought, and since it was his pain after all, it made it defendable for Sirius, too.
Slowly, never breaking the gaze, Sirius lowered his head and softly kissed the familiar lips for one more time. He could taste and smell Remus beneath the blood oozing from his lips and frothing from somewhere deeper. After their lips parted Sirius remained close enough to feel the weak breath on his face. He longed to close his eyes, to imagine he was once again just holding him in bed, safe from the world, but there was no time.
"I love you. I will love you to the end of my days." he said, and managed to convey only the truth of that statement in his voice and none of the panic and grief welling inside him. Remus answered with hardly noticeable smile. Sirius' answering smile died when he saw the light go out in the eyes his own were still locked to.
For a moment he sat there numb, his mind still refusing to believe the unbelievable, then he tore his eyes from his fallen soulmate and howled like the wolf he had loved.
May spoil 'Prisoner of Azkaban'
BE WARNED: Character death, angst, hint of slash.
"Touch me."
The whisper was hardly audible despite the deathly silence in the small house. Sirius gently stroked his lover's face, but still he winced from the pain. He was sitting on the cold floor, holding Remus on his lap, looking down into his beautiful eyes now filled with so much pain Sirius just wanted to scream. Remus was no stranger to pain, but Sirius still doubted if he had ever even in his worst nightmares imagined anything like this. Shit, HE could almost feel the pain emitting from the tortured body.
"Touch me and it will go away."
Tears filled Sirius' eyes but he fought them back, he didn't want to miss a thing now, not even though he knew this would haunt his nights for the rest of his life. No, he didn't want to think about the rest of his life. Not now. Now he wanted to memorize every little detail. Every shade of colour in his mate's hair from grey to deep brown, the softness of it. The pain in his golden brown eyes. The slight weight of him.
He knew all too well his touch wouldn't make this go away, but how could he deny anything from the broken creature in his arms, and so he caressed him ever so lightly. As he felt the blood seep through his robe something inside him screamed to do something, grab his wand, take Remus somewhere, anywhere. Anything to make things right. Still he only held him. He would've poured his life into the failing body if he had thought it would help, but there was nothing that would even postpone the inevitable.
He had known that from the moment he had sighted their house from the top of the nearby hill and seen the mark hovering over it. He had screamed inside his helmet, almost going mad with the knowledge of what he'd find inside. Still he had entered, and he was so glad he had. Which one of them had they wanted to torture with this? Both? Leaving him broken beyond all help but still breathing, still conscious when his lover arrived. Well, they had failed miserably.
He was almost grateful for them for these last moments together. Moments just long enough there wouldn't be need for 'I didn't even get to say goodbye' later. If it was selfish to be glad for these moments of torment, then he was willing to be a selfish bastard. But the look in Remus' eyes when he kneeled on the bloody floor next to him crying his name had told he shared the heretic thought, and since it was his pain after all, it made it defendable for Sirius, too.
Slowly, never breaking the gaze, Sirius lowered his head and softly kissed the familiar lips for one more time. He could taste and smell Remus beneath the blood oozing from his lips and frothing from somewhere deeper. After their lips parted Sirius remained close enough to feel the weak breath on his face. He longed to close his eyes, to imagine he was once again just holding him in bed, safe from the world, but there was no time.
"I love you. I will love you to the end of my days." he said, and managed to convey only the truth of that statement in his voice and none of the panic and grief welling inside him. Remus answered with hardly noticeable smile. Sirius' answering smile died when he saw the light go out in the eyes his own were still locked to.
For a moment he sat there numb, his mind still refusing to believe the unbelievable, then he tore his eyes from his fallen soulmate and howled like the wolf he had loved.