YELLOW BRICK ROAD

By: Lisette (lisette@chaletian.co.uk)

Rating: PG-13 so far - might change later on.

Distribution: Want, take, have. Just e-mail me first.

Summary: Faith is released from prison - but there's a catch.

Feedback: God, please.

Angel, Buffy, the whole lot, belong to JW, Mutant Enemy, and anyone else who officially owns them. I don't. Big surprise. Brother Anselm is all mine, though!

Okay, a few notes. Firstly, I haven't seen any of season 3 yet, though I know vaguely what happens. So, definitely after "Billy", and Fred and Gunn are getting with the happy, but "WITW" never happened.

Please, please review - I need to know what people think! I have a fragile ego and it needs bolstering! Thanks to everyone who has already reviewed - you have made me a happy person!

In re the summary, has anyone got any ideas how I could make it better - I don't think it gives a very good idea of what the story's about. Or maybe it does. I don't know, hence the problem.

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Chapter Twenty - Don't Get Buried in Guilt

The next morning, when Faith awoke, she found Wesley asleep on the couch in the living room. She got some breakfast without disturbing him, then curled up in an armchair, watching the sleeping man. But soon, as time passed, her thoughts moved down more disturbing avenues. Mental images of Wesley the last time she had been loose in LA flashed across her mind, followed by other images - the archaeologist she had killed, the Mayor's aide, all the hurt she had caused - looking down into her own face, filled with hate, when she had changed places with Buffy. She shifted restlessly, eyes closed, tears seeping from beneath her lashes. A sound stirred her, and she looked up to find Wesley regarding her, his eyes seeming all the more intense without his glasses on.

"Don't get buried in the guilt, Faith. You've done a lot of bad things, but then, so have most people. You have a chance to change - don't spoil your life by spending it in guilt."

"I've done so much wrong."

"Yes, you have. But don't for one moment imagine that you're the only person in the world who has."

"You don't-"

"You've met Fred, haven't you?" At her nod, Wesley sat up and continued. "I chased her round the hotel with an axe. I hit her. I would have killed her." His voice dropped, tinged with remembered shame. "She was so afraid."

"Oh, come on, Wes! There was some evil mojo working, or something." He looked at her in surprise.

"Well, yes, but that's not the point. All that violence, those urges, they were already in me. Now, I can spend the rest of my life feeling guilty over it - and, believe me, that was looking like an option for a while - or I can get over it, and try and get on with my life."

"But the people I killed - I hurt. They'll never forgive-" Wesley interrupted her before she could finish.

"It's not about them forgiving you, Faith. Sometimes that's not ever going to happen. A dead person can't forgive. But it's not their forgiveness that's important. You have to learn to forgive yourself."

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"Okay, what is she doing here?" Cordelia stood defiantly, hands on hips. "I thought she was supposed to be off cosying with Wolfram & Hart?"

"Kinda hard to cosy with a snake, C."

"Calm down, Cordelia. Faith has been charged with finding Connor's whereabouts, and if she is to convince them that she knows, there has to be some sign that she's been here."

"Tell them where Connor - Wesley, are you out of your tiny little mind?"

"Cordelia, be a doll and keep the noise level down, will you? Jeez, another two o'clock feeding and Pylea'll start to look good." Lorne came sauntering into the main section of Caritas, ice pack in hand, stopping at the sight of Wesley and Faith. "Lord, more people! If you're annoying Cordelia, do me a favour and go away. Hottie she may be, but she's got a voice that cuts like a chainsaw." He gaze narrowed in on Faith, and he stepped towards her. "My, you're a turbulent one, aren't you? Fancy doing a little song for me, sweetheart?"

Faith looked in disbelief while Cordelia snickered in the background.

"What?" Wesley stepped in hurriedly. He didn't think violence was in the offing - not to mention the fact it was impossible in Caritas - but Faith's tongue could be violent in itself, and the last thing he needed was Lorne going all huffy.

"This is Lorne. He's an anagogic demon - he can read people's auras. When they sing."

"Yeah, Faith, choose a number. Y'know, something along the lines of, "I Like to Kill People, Hey Diddle Diddle" or "The Hills Are Alive with the Sound of Violence".