Chapter 6
Back in the big tent, Mr. Gnawschtein He, as I'm sure you have forgotten, was their "coach" who taught them how to be acrobats. was lecturing the acrobats about their performance, which would take place in a half hour, in his whiny, nasal voice. The orphans' nerves were mounting as they heard the sounds of the audience filling in the seats in the cramped stadium.
"You better not mess up," he squeaked. "or else." He frowned menacingly at the seven of them, and then turned and yelled to some other people backstage: "These acrobats need their makeup! What do you think you're doing, dilly-dallying instead of GIVING it to them?!" and he stormed off, his fat face jiggling and faintly purple.
Sunny looked nervously up at Violet, who knew exactly was she was thinking. She was thinking, "Ynosi!" which meant, "I REALLY don't want to have to be thrown around from acrobat to acrobat for another hour," and Violet couldn't blame her. Sunny's unfortunate job was to be the acrobat that jumped from trapezes and was caught on other acrobats' feet, then flung upward again, as all the others switched positions on their trapezes. Then they all came down and did a routine with trampolines and gymnastics.
Violet patted Sunny's shoulder comfortingly, but her mind was not on the show she was about to perform. It was on the letter from her parents, the one that was in Klaus's jacket pocket back at Madame Lulu's tent. Madame had wished them good luck, kissed them all on the cheek, and got ready to see the futures of the fair goers who were not interested in the Second- Greatest Show on Earth's performance. She didn't seem to notice how distressed her beloved orphans were after coming back from the Library of Records in downtown Librariton. Lulu was blissfully unaware of the terrible thing that would happen to her by the end of this chapter.
***
The lights dimmed, and a sudden hush came over the audience. An echoing voice that was very hoarse and strangely familiar to Klaus announced:
"Ladies and Gentlemen and children of ALL ages!" Noisy applause filled the tent. Klaus shivered. Was that the voice he thought he had heard? He glanced at Violet, but she just smiled weakly at him and whispered, "Good luck!" He shook his head vigorously...it must have been his imagination. He HAD become a bit paranoid; Count Olaf was following them wherever they went, so he had the right to be hearing his voice inside his head. Didn't he?
Sunny grinned, revealing her overlarge teeth to another acrobat in an orange leotard, who backed away from her nervously. She giggled. Hopefully this would be over soon. She didn't like being thrown around, and besides, she had more important things on her mind: finding a new material to bite back at Madame Lulu's tent, for instance.
***
The Baudelaires only had a couple minutes left. All three had nailed their stunts so far, and were actually starting to enjoy themselves as the audience whistled and applauded, even Sunny.
Finally, when the seven acrobats were through and were taking their bows and having roses thrown at their feet, Klaus spotted someone lurking behind the last row of seats. It was, as you have probably guessed, Count Olaf. He stared at Klaus, grinned mischievously, and held up his rusty knife, which resembled a sword it was so long. Klaus's heart dropped to his feet, and he let out a small yell. That caught Violet's attention, and he pointed to where Olaf had been. Violet looked at him strangely. He realized that Count Olaf was not there at all...had his mind been tricking him again? Must have been. "It's all in your head, Klaus," he said to himself. "You're just seeing things. Count Olaf has NOT followed you to Librariton."
But, unfortunately, Klaus was wrong about that. He was very, very wrong in saying that Count Olaf was not present at this foul fair. Little did he know that Olaf and his cruel companions had been watching his and his sisters' every move, hatching plans and scheming. Little did they all know that he would soon gain one more spy...in a place that they would least expect it.
***
Why, Duncan, dearie, you're walkin' the wrong way. My tent is thataway, 'member?" Madame Lulu asked Klaus. "You know, I'm beginnin' to worry about y'all. You ain't been yourselves today. Anythin' you'd wanna talk to me about?"
"N-no," Klaus stammered. "We're okay–," But at that moment, Sunny cried out,
"Look!" She pointed at the sky, but no one looked at the sky. They looked at her, because she had actually uttered a word that people other than Violet and Klaus could understand. "Look!" she shrieked again. The orphans and Lulu looked this time, and they could see a colorful shape growing larger and larger as it neared the ground. It grew closer, and as it did, they could hear two voices, both yelling at the top of their lungs: fairly high-pitched ones. Finally the thing hit the ground and out burst many things–potatoes, bits of yarn–but mostly ketchup, for some reason. The three Baudelaire orphans and Madame Lulu were all drenched from head to toe in ketchup, but that was not what made Lulu scream, however.
"Golly gee gosh! My tent, my tent! It's crashed into my gorgeous tent! Oh golly gee whiz, how'll I ever fix it? Oh golly..."
Sunny paid no attention to this outburst. She tottered forward to the tent, turned around and looked at her siblings with the widest grin they had ever seen, and beckoned them forward.
Violet looked at Klaus, and then at Sunny and the tent and then back at Klaus and then to Madame Lulu, and then back to Sunny. She smiled, because now she understood what was going on.
She grabbed Klaus by the arm and pulled him toward the tent and the colorful thing that had crashed into it. He looked bewildered, and obviously hadn't the faintest idea of what Violet was thinking.
But then his heart leapt out about four feet as two short figures emerged from the wreckage. They tried in vain to shake some of the ketchup from their clothes, but they were so covered in it that the Baudelaires could not see their faces. But they knew who it was. The people who had, by chance, crashed a Self-Sustaining Hot-Air Mobile Home into Madame Lulu's tent were their best friends, Duncan and Isadora Quagmire. And when the Quagmire Triplets wiped their faces and, in turn, recognized the Baudelaires, it was the strangest (and longest) reunion they had had yet.
At first they just stood numb with shock, unable to believe their good luck, which all five had been deprived of in their lives so far. It was Isadora who broke the silence.
"Violet?!"
"Klaus?!" Duncan followed.
"Sunny?!" they said at the same time.
There was a pause, in which they stared at each other with their mouths hanging open.
"Where's Hector?" Klaus said faintly. The Quagmires exchanged dark looks and said nothing.
"Ranchero?" Sunny asked. In this case, she meant something along the lines of, "Please don't tell me he took the only parachute and left you all alone in the air to pursue his life's dream of becoming a bungee jumper." and Violet translated for the Quagmires.
"Actually, yes, that was what happened," Duncan said gloomily.
On and on they talked. The Baudelaires explained about their brief stay at Heimlich Hospital, and how they met Madame Lulu and became acrobats. But they had completely forgotten that she had been listening and watching the whole time. She backed away from the scene slowly with a look of mixed horror and disbelief on her face. She had heard them being called the names of the Baudelaire murderers, and they had acted completely natural. Their secret was out.
Lulu screamed shrilly and sprinted away as fast as she could.
"Oh no," Violet said, raising a hand to her mouth.
"She's gone to call the police! We have to hide!" Klaus said frantically.
"Nolava?" said Sunny, which meant, "But where?"
"I don't know, but we have to get there fast," said Isadora. She scanned the now-deserted carnival. Most of the fair goers had either been scared away by the UFO-like thing that had fallen from the sky or they had gone to try and get the ketchup off their clothes. Remembering this, Klaus voiced something his sisters had wanted to ask, but didn't think the time was right.
"Um...why did Hector's mobile home explode in ketchup?"
"We'll explain once we've hidden," Duncan said. "How about over there, in the balloon stall?" Which was a perfect idea, because it was a place isolated enough that they could talk in peace.
"The reason the mobile home exploded in ketchup was because that was the fuel we used," said Duncan. Seeing the blank looks on the Baudelaire faces, he said, "Explain, Isadora."
"A few days after we flew away from VFD with Hector, the mobile home started to slow down and act as if it were about to fall. We checked the fuel tanks, and they were full, so we figured that the fuel simply didn't work."
"After all the work I did on it? I can't believe I missed that!" Violet exclaimed. She was somewhat hurt that the Self-Sustaining Hot-Air Mobile Home that she had slaved away at, in hopes that she and her siblings could escape from VFD on it, did not work perfectly.
"I'm sorry, Violet, but it's the truth. Anyway, we tried everything. It seemed like all hope was lost until Hector remembered the massive amount of ketchup he had brought along, just in case," Isadora continued.
"In case of what?" asked Klaus.
"In case we ran out of salsa for all the Mexican food he makes!" said Duncan, as if this were completely obvious. He waved a hand impatiently. "I'll finish. So, we tried putting ketchup in the fuel tank, and it–,"
"Shh!" Sunny interrupted, which meant, "Be quiet! I hear someone coming; probably to look for us!"
Sure enough, the Baudelaires and the Triplets could hear voices getting louder as they approached the balloon stall in which they hid. Klaus's heart skipped a beat. Was he hearing things again? No, this time his sisters' and friends' eyes widened with fear also.
"So, ma'am, you say the murderers were right over there, by your tent–er, should I say, what USED to be your tent?" said the scratchy voice all five orphans knew too well.
"Yes, siree. And I still can't believe it. They were my darlin' Quagmires; I trusted them. But I guess I shouldn't've..." said Madame Lulu's wavering, accented voice. The real Quagmires knew right away that the Baudelaires had used their names, and didn't mind.
"Not to worry, ma'am. My associates and I will have it all fixed. We'll find them soon enough, I assure you."
"Why, thank you, officer," They could hear a bit of a giggle in Lulu's voice now. "It's awfully BRAVE of you to try an' capture dangerous murderers and protectin' lil' ole me! I thought nothin' would dare threaten me, 'cause, well, you've got yourself a 100% psychic right here, you mark my words...officer? Of-officer? What are you d–," but her cry was stifled suddenly as Count Olaf snatched her away.
Violet clapped a hand to her mouth again.
"Lulu! He's kidnapped Lulu!" she whispered through her fingers. The five orphans hurried outside. The whole carnival was now completely empty, because of the sighting of the "murderers."
"Ypostu!" Sunny said. She pointed at a folded piece of paper that had been dropped at the foot of the stand.
"Yeah. There's a note here. Wonder who it's for..." said Violet curiously as she picked it up and opened it. It was written in letters that had been cut out of many different places in a magazine, therefore resembling a ransom note, which is what it happened to be. The ransom, however, forced them to give up something uncommon. It read as follows:
Dear Brats (all five),
Want Lulu to stay alive? Be at Ferris Wheel in 3 hours. Be prepared to part with the middle Baudelaire Brat and the girl twin. We have already explained why. The gypsy-idiot's life is in your hands
Back in the big tent, Mr. Gnawschtein He, as I'm sure you have forgotten, was their "coach" who taught them how to be acrobats. was lecturing the acrobats about their performance, which would take place in a half hour, in his whiny, nasal voice. The orphans' nerves were mounting as they heard the sounds of the audience filling in the seats in the cramped stadium.
"You better not mess up," he squeaked. "or else." He frowned menacingly at the seven of them, and then turned and yelled to some other people backstage: "These acrobats need their makeup! What do you think you're doing, dilly-dallying instead of GIVING it to them?!" and he stormed off, his fat face jiggling and faintly purple.
Sunny looked nervously up at Violet, who knew exactly was she was thinking. She was thinking, "Ynosi!" which meant, "I REALLY don't want to have to be thrown around from acrobat to acrobat for another hour," and Violet couldn't blame her. Sunny's unfortunate job was to be the acrobat that jumped from trapezes and was caught on other acrobats' feet, then flung upward again, as all the others switched positions on their trapezes. Then they all came down and did a routine with trampolines and gymnastics.
Violet patted Sunny's shoulder comfortingly, but her mind was not on the show she was about to perform. It was on the letter from her parents, the one that was in Klaus's jacket pocket back at Madame Lulu's tent. Madame had wished them good luck, kissed them all on the cheek, and got ready to see the futures of the fair goers who were not interested in the Second- Greatest Show on Earth's performance. She didn't seem to notice how distressed her beloved orphans were after coming back from the Library of Records in downtown Librariton. Lulu was blissfully unaware of the terrible thing that would happen to her by the end of this chapter.
***
The lights dimmed, and a sudden hush came over the audience. An echoing voice that was very hoarse and strangely familiar to Klaus announced:
"Ladies and Gentlemen and children of ALL ages!" Noisy applause filled the tent. Klaus shivered. Was that the voice he thought he had heard? He glanced at Violet, but she just smiled weakly at him and whispered, "Good luck!" He shook his head vigorously...it must have been his imagination. He HAD become a bit paranoid; Count Olaf was following them wherever they went, so he had the right to be hearing his voice inside his head. Didn't he?
Sunny grinned, revealing her overlarge teeth to another acrobat in an orange leotard, who backed away from her nervously. She giggled. Hopefully this would be over soon. She didn't like being thrown around, and besides, she had more important things on her mind: finding a new material to bite back at Madame Lulu's tent, for instance.
***
The Baudelaires only had a couple minutes left. All three had nailed their stunts so far, and were actually starting to enjoy themselves as the audience whistled and applauded, even Sunny.
Finally, when the seven acrobats were through and were taking their bows and having roses thrown at their feet, Klaus spotted someone lurking behind the last row of seats. It was, as you have probably guessed, Count Olaf. He stared at Klaus, grinned mischievously, and held up his rusty knife, which resembled a sword it was so long. Klaus's heart dropped to his feet, and he let out a small yell. That caught Violet's attention, and he pointed to where Olaf had been. Violet looked at him strangely. He realized that Count Olaf was not there at all...had his mind been tricking him again? Must have been. "It's all in your head, Klaus," he said to himself. "You're just seeing things. Count Olaf has NOT followed you to Librariton."
But, unfortunately, Klaus was wrong about that. He was very, very wrong in saying that Count Olaf was not present at this foul fair. Little did he know that Olaf and his cruel companions had been watching his and his sisters' every move, hatching plans and scheming. Little did they all know that he would soon gain one more spy...in a place that they would least expect it.
***
Why, Duncan, dearie, you're walkin' the wrong way. My tent is thataway, 'member?" Madame Lulu asked Klaus. "You know, I'm beginnin' to worry about y'all. You ain't been yourselves today. Anythin' you'd wanna talk to me about?"
"N-no," Klaus stammered. "We're okay–," But at that moment, Sunny cried out,
"Look!" She pointed at the sky, but no one looked at the sky. They looked at her, because she had actually uttered a word that people other than Violet and Klaus could understand. "Look!" she shrieked again. The orphans and Lulu looked this time, and they could see a colorful shape growing larger and larger as it neared the ground. It grew closer, and as it did, they could hear two voices, both yelling at the top of their lungs: fairly high-pitched ones. Finally the thing hit the ground and out burst many things–potatoes, bits of yarn–but mostly ketchup, for some reason. The three Baudelaire orphans and Madame Lulu were all drenched from head to toe in ketchup, but that was not what made Lulu scream, however.
"Golly gee gosh! My tent, my tent! It's crashed into my gorgeous tent! Oh golly gee whiz, how'll I ever fix it? Oh golly..."
Sunny paid no attention to this outburst. She tottered forward to the tent, turned around and looked at her siblings with the widest grin they had ever seen, and beckoned them forward.
Violet looked at Klaus, and then at Sunny and the tent and then back at Klaus and then to Madame Lulu, and then back to Sunny. She smiled, because now she understood what was going on.
She grabbed Klaus by the arm and pulled him toward the tent and the colorful thing that had crashed into it. He looked bewildered, and obviously hadn't the faintest idea of what Violet was thinking.
But then his heart leapt out about four feet as two short figures emerged from the wreckage. They tried in vain to shake some of the ketchup from their clothes, but they were so covered in it that the Baudelaires could not see their faces. But they knew who it was. The people who had, by chance, crashed a Self-Sustaining Hot-Air Mobile Home into Madame Lulu's tent were their best friends, Duncan and Isadora Quagmire. And when the Quagmire Triplets wiped their faces and, in turn, recognized the Baudelaires, it was the strangest (and longest) reunion they had had yet.
At first they just stood numb with shock, unable to believe their good luck, which all five had been deprived of in their lives so far. It was Isadora who broke the silence.
"Violet?!"
"Klaus?!" Duncan followed.
"Sunny?!" they said at the same time.
There was a pause, in which they stared at each other with their mouths hanging open.
"Where's Hector?" Klaus said faintly. The Quagmires exchanged dark looks and said nothing.
"Ranchero?" Sunny asked. In this case, she meant something along the lines of, "Please don't tell me he took the only parachute and left you all alone in the air to pursue his life's dream of becoming a bungee jumper." and Violet translated for the Quagmires.
"Actually, yes, that was what happened," Duncan said gloomily.
On and on they talked. The Baudelaires explained about their brief stay at Heimlich Hospital, and how they met Madame Lulu and became acrobats. But they had completely forgotten that she had been listening and watching the whole time. She backed away from the scene slowly with a look of mixed horror and disbelief on her face. She had heard them being called the names of the Baudelaire murderers, and they had acted completely natural. Their secret was out.
Lulu screamed shrilly and sprinted away as fast as she could.
"Oh no," Violet said, raising a hand to her mouth.
"She's gone to call the police! We have to hide!" Klaus said frantically.
"Nolava?" said Sunny, which meant, "But where?"
"I don't know, but we have to get there fast," said Isadora. She scanned the now-deserted carnival. Most of the fair goers had either been scared away by the UFO-like thing that had fallen from the sky or they had gone to try and get the ketchup off their clothes. Remembering this, Klaus voiced something his sisters had wanted to ask, but didn't think the time was right.
"Um...why did Hector's mobile home explode in ketchup?"
"We'll explain once we've hidden," Duncan said. "How about over there, in the balloon stall?" Which was a perfect idea, because it was a place isolated enough that they could talk in peace.
"The reason the mobile home exploded in ketchup was because that was the fuel we used," said Duncan. Seeing the blank looks on the Baudelaire faces, he said, "Explain, Isadora."
"A few days after we flew away from VFD with Hector, the mobile home started to slow down and act as if it were about to fall. We checked the fuel tanks, and they were full, so we figured that the fuel simply didn't work."
"After all the work I did on it? I can't believe I missed that!" Violet exclaimed. She was somewhat hurt that the Self-Sustaining Hot-Air Mobile Home that she had slaved away at, in hopes that she and her siblings could escape from VFD on it, did not work perfectly.
"I'm sorry, Violet, but it's the truth. Anyway, we tried everything. It seemed like all hope was lost until Hector remembered the massive amount of ketchup he had brought along, just in case," Isadora continued.
"In case of what?" asked Klaus.
"In case we ran out of salsa for all the Mexican food he makes!" said Duncan, as if this were completely obvious. He waved a hand impatiently. "I'll finish. So, we tried putting ketchup in the fuel tank, and it–,"
"Shh!" Sunny interrupted, which meant, "Be quiet! I hear someone coming; probably to look for us!"
Sure enough, the Baudelaires and the Triplets could hear voices getting louder as they approached the balloon stall in which they hid. Klaus's heart skipped a beat. Was he hearing things again? No, this time his sisters' and friends' eyes widened with fear also.
"So, ma'am, you say the murderers were right over there, by your tent–er, should I say, what USED to be your tent?" said the scratchy voice all five orphans knew too well.
"Yes, siree. And I still can't believe it. They were my darlin' Quagmires; I trusted them. But I guess I shouldn't've..." said Madame Lulu's wavering, accented voice. The real Quagmires knew right away that the Baudelaires had used their names, and didn't mind.
"Not to worry, ma'am. My associates and I will have it all fixed. We'll find them soon enough, I assure you."
"Why, thank you, officer," They could hear a bit of a giggle in Lulu's voice now. "It's awfully BRAVE of you to try an' capture dangerous murderers and protectin' lil' ole me! I thought nothin' would dare threaten me, 'cause, well, you've got yourself a 100% psychic right here, you mark my words...officer? Of-officer? What are you d–," but her cry was stifled suddenly as Count Olaf snatched her away.
Violet clapped a hand to her mouth again.
"Lulu! He's kidnapped Lulu!" she whispered through her fingers. The five orphans hurried outside. The whole carnival was now completely empty, because of the sighting of the "murderers."
"Ypostu!" Sunny said. She pointed at a folded piece of paper that had been dropped at the foot of the stand.
"Yeah. There's a note here. Wonder who it's for..." said Violet curiously as she picked it up and opened it. It was written in letters that had been cut out of many different places in a magazine, therefore resembling a ransom note, which is what it happened to be. The ransom, however, forced them to give up something uncommon. It read as follows:
Dear Brats (all five),
Want Lulu to stay alive? Be at Ferris Wheel in 3 hours. Be prepared to part with the middle Baudelaire Brat and the girl twin. We have already explained why. The gypsy-idiot's life is in your hands