Chapter Five: It's Just A Crush
Seifer looked at his lover, sky-blue eyes misty with curiosity. He knew something was bothering Squall. He could tell by the blank expression in his face…The lifeless gleam in his stormy eyes.
"…Something bothering you?" Seifer asked, desperate to break the uncomfortable silence that had fallen in the large and relatively quiet dorm.
"…Why do you ask?" Squall inquired, looking at Seifer with those mysterious hazel eyes that he had fallen in love with.
"I can tell something's wrong. What is it?" Seifer questioned, a look of curiosity spreading across his face like an epidemic.
"…I said I wouldn't tell," Squall murmured. "I'm not supposed to tell anyone."
"Not even me?" Seifer asked, his lips curving into a small frown. He was upset that Squall wasn't willing to tell him what was bringing him down so much.
"I'm sorry," Squall mumbled. "I really am. I just…I just can't tell. I'd be going back on my word. And…I can't do that."
Seifer nodded, his sky-blue eyes filled with concern.
"I understand," he lied, wishing deep down that Squall would come clean and tell him what was on his mind.
Just as Seifer got up to return to the kitchen of his dorm, he felt a cold hand grab at his arm. Turning, he smiled a sad smile down at Squall.
Squall looked up into his sky-blue eyes, a look of sadness apparent on his pale face.
"…If you promise not to tell," Squall whispered, desperate to keep Zell's secret as reticent as he possibly could.
"Of course," Seifer replied, sitting down on the leathery couch beside his brunette lover.
"It's Zell," Squall mumbled. "Zell…he…He's sick."
Squall looked at Seifer with watery eyes, losing his battle against the tears that raged within his mysterious eyes.
"…What do you mean?" Seifer inquired, not even bothering to hide the fear and suspense that was evident in his simple question.
"He…he has Hemophilia," Squall whispered. "Hemophilia!"
"…He bleeds easy?" Seifer asked dumbly, already knowing the answer.
"Yes," Squall murmured. "He…he bleeds *very* easily…I had to use a damn Cura spell on a few scratches on his hand…"
"Holy shit…" Seifer trailed off, a lifeless expression on his face.
Zell Dincht…He was easily the most courageous fighter at Garden. He was always willing to fight, even against unbelievable odds. He was so brave…Everyone looked up to him, even though they laughed at him because of his hyperactive lifestyle, which many found to be quite enthusiastic.
"…So what if something *really* bad happens, Seif…?" Squall inquired, a hopeless look obvious in his stormy eyes.
He really wanted to hear Seifer give an answer, even though he already knew the answer, deep down.
"Then…he'll probably die," Seifer murmured, not bothering to fake a lie to make Squall happy. He was all about honesty to his lover, even if it killed him.
"No!" Squall cried, throwing his arm around the powerful neck of his lover. "No, not Zell! Zell can't die! He just can't!"
Seifer wrapped his arms around Squall's slender waist, holding him in a warm embrace.
"I know…I know, Squall…" he soothed, gently rubbing Squall's cold back.
"But…what if he does?" Squall asked hopelessly, resting his head on Seifer's broad chest. "What if he dies…? Then what…?"
"He won't die, Squall…" Seifer murmured, resting his chin on Squall's emotionally weak shoulder.
Looking up through teary eyes, Squall could vaguely see Seifer looking down on him with those crystalline eyes of his. Squall forced a sad smile, his bottom lip quivering while the tears slowly poured down his face.
"Don't cry," Seifer whispered. "Don't waste your tears like that. Zell's gonna' be just fine…"
Squall nodded, his smile widening a bit has he rose up, kneeling up from his position on the couch, a strange look evident in his stormy eyes.
"What?" Seifer inquired dumbly, his lips curving into a small smile.
"…Damn you," Squall growled, rising up swiftly to capture Seifer's lips in a hungry kiss. Not a violent kiss, but a sweet kiss. Sweet and passionate, yet a strange feeling of friendliness to it.
After the kiss ended, Squall looked into Seifer's eyes once more, a strange sense of sadness coming into his tear-stained eyes.
"I…I'm sorry," Squall whispered.
"Don't be," Seifer replied, forcing a small smile.
"No," Squall murmured. "Zell's sick, and here we are fucking like horn-dogs."
"…It was a kiss," Seifer joshed, grinning.
"This is no time to be funny," Squall mumbled.
"…I'm sorry," Seifer murmured, his voice rich with sincerity.
"…I can't believe I just did that," Squall replied, getting off of the couch, leaving his lover cold
"It was just a kiss," Seifer said, standing up, desperate to comfort his uneasy beau.
"No!" Squall cried. "Just because you get a hard-on every fucking time I touch you doesn't mean you hafta' be so horny now."
"Wait…wait a minute here," Seifer declared, desperate to defend his pride. "Who made the first move?"
"Did you do *anything* to stop me?!" Squall cried, turning to look at Seifer with a look of hate on that pale face of his.
"No," Seifer admitted. "I didn't see any reason too. Zell's sick, but does that mean we have to stop loving each other?"
"You're…you're a perve," Squall said with a laugh. "Well it'll just have to be your hand now., 'cause I sure as hell ain't gonna put up with this anymore."
"And what did *I* do?!" Seifer demanded, pointing at himself, his sky- blue eyes filled with a furious passion.
"Nothing," Squall murmured. "Absolutely nothing."
Seifer laughed mockingly at Squall.
"And that's just it. You've done nothing. I tried to confide in you about Zell, and…and then you looked at me. I saw that look in your eyes. If I didn't kiss you, you sure as hell would've kissed me," Squall exploded, his voice rich with anger.
"Why are you so fuckin' concerned about Zell in the first place? You used to always act like he was so annoying, and now you're goin' crazy over him. What's up with that?" Seifer demanded, equally as angry as Squall.
"Maybe I love Zell more than you," Squall hissed, a look of rage swelling up within his eyes.
"…Bitch," Seifer laughed, trying to hide the pain that swirled sadly within his broken heart.
"I'm sorry," Squall said. His voice sounded hollow. Even to his ears. "I just can't help the way I feel."
"…I can't believe you," Seifer murmured, not caring if his pain escaped his throat or not.
Squall let out a sad sigh. He knew he was being cruel. More than just cruel…He was breaking Seifer's heart. Just like he broke Rinoa's heart. Would he ever be satisfied?
"All I can say is that I'm sorry," Squall said. "And that's it. I can't deny my feelings for Zell. I really think I love him. I hugged him today."
"You what?!" Seifer cried.
"It was a friendly hug," Squall replied. "But I liked it. I liked it allot. I wanna' hug him again. I wanna' do more than just hug him."
"He's straight," Seifer growled between gritted teeth. "There's no way he'd be interseted in you."
"That's fine," Squall murmured. "It's better to just be around Zell as a friend than to be your bitch."
"It's just a crush," Seifer hissed.
"And that's exactly what this was," Squall muttered.
"What was that?" Seifer demanded.
"You heard me," Squall snapped. "This was just a crush. That's all it ever was."
"…" Seifer was speechless. Squall smiled at Seifer one last time. A sad smile…One that Seifer would remember forever. And so, Seifer watched as Squall left, breaking his heart while he did.
Squall left Seifer's dorm. He left that day, and never returned. He knew he had just broken Seifer's heart, but he knew Seifer never really loved him. It was all for the sex. If Squall didn't give in, then Seifer would hurt him. Seifer really was a cruel person, yet he hid it so well with his flamboyant attitude and charismatic smile.
Squall couldn't help but feel a wave relief crash into him as he left Seifer's dorm, a joyous smile spreading across his lips. Happiness radiated from his pale face like light from the sun. It was a nice change from his usually taciturn attitude, which Seifer had tied him down to.
He was going to explain his feelings to Zell…Even if it hurt Rinoa…Even if it hurt Seifer…Even if it hurt himself…
TO BE CONTINUED/PLZ R&R
Seifer looked at his lover, sky-blue eyes misty with curiosity. He knew something was bothering Squall. He could tell by the blank expression in his face…The lifeless gleam in his stormy eyes.
"…Something bothering you?" Seifer asked, desperate to break the uncomfortable silence that had fallen in the large and relatively quiet dorm.
"…Why do you ask?" Squall inquired, looking at Seifer with those mysterious hazel eyes that he had fallen in love with.
"I can tell something's wrong. What is it?" Seifer questioned, a look of curiosity spreading across his face like an epidemic.
"…I said I wouldn't tell," Squall murmured. "I'm not supposed to tell anyone."
"Not even me?" Seifer asked, his lips curving into a small frown. He was upset that Squall wasn't willing to tell him what was bringing him down so much.
"I'm sorry," Squall mumbled. "I really am. I just…I just can't tell. I'd be going back on my word. And…I can't do that."
Seifer nodded, his sky-blue eyes filled with concern.
"I understand," he lied, wishing deep down that Squall would come clean and tell him what was on his mind.
Just as Seifer got up to return to the kitchen of his dorm, he felt a cold hand grab at his arm. Turning, he smiled a sad smile down at Squall.
Squall looked up into his sky-blue eyes, a look of sadness apparent on his pale face.
"…If you promise not to tell," Squall whispered, desperate to keep Zell's secret as reticent as he possibly could.
"Of course," Seifer replied, sitting down on the leathery couch beside his brunette lover.
"It's Zell," Squall mumbled. "Zell…he…He's sick."
Squall looked at Seifer with watery eyes, losing his battle against the tears that raged within his mysterious eyes.
"…What do you mean?" Seifer inquired, not even bothering to hide the fear and suspense that was evident in his simple question.
"He…he has Hemophilia," Squall whispered. "Hemophilia!"
"…He bleeds easy?" Seifer asked dumbly, already knowing the answer.
"Yes," Squall murmured. "He…he bleeds *very* easily…I had to use a damn Cura spell on a few scratches on his hand…"
"Holy shit…" Seifer trailed off, a lifeless expression on his face.
Zell Dincht…He was easily the most courageous fighter at Garden. He was always willing to fight, even against unbelievable odds. He was so brave…Everyone looked up to him, even though they laughed at him because of his hyperactive lifestyle, which many found to be quite enthusiastic.
"…So what if something *really* bad happens, Seif…?" Squall inquired, a hopeless look obvious in his stormy eyes.
He really wanted to hear Seifer give an answer, even though he already knew the answer, deep down.
"Then…he'll probably die," Seifer murmured, not bothering to fake a lie to make Squall happy. He was all about honesty to his lover, even if it killed him.
"No!" Squall cried, throwing his arm around the powerful neck of his lover. "No, not Zell! Zell can't die! He just can't!"
Seifer wrapped his arms around Squall's slender waist, holding him in a warm embrace.
"I know…I know, Squall…" he soothed, gently rubbing Squall's cold back.
"But…what if he does?" Squall asked hopelessly, resting his head on Seifer's broad chest. "What if he dies…? Then what…?"
"He won't die, Squall…" Seifer murmured, resting his chin on Squall's emotionally weak shoulder.
Looking up through teary eyes, Squall could vaguely see Seifer looking down on him with those crystalline eyes of his. Squall forced a sad smile, his bottom lip quivering while the tears slowly poured down his face.
"Don't cry," Seifer whispered. "Don't waste your tears like that. Zell's gonna' be just fine…"
Squall nodded, his smile widening a bit has he rose up, kneeling up from his position on the couch, a strange look evident in his stormy eyes.
"What?" Seifer inquired dumbly, his lips curving into a small smile.
"…Damn you," Squall growled, rising up swiftly to capture Seifer's lips in a hungry kiss. Not a violent kiss, but a sweet kiss. Sweet and passionate, yet a strange feeling of friendliness to it.
After the kiss ended, Squall looked into Seifer's eyes once more, a strange sense of sadness coming into his tear-stained eyes.
"I…I'm sorry," Squall whispered.
"Don't be," Seifer replied, forcing a small smile.
"No," Squall murmured. "Zell's sick, and here we are fucking like horn-dogs."
"…It was a kiss," Seifer joshed, grinning.
"This is no time to be funny," Squall mumbled.
"…I'm sorry," Seifer murmured, his voice rich with sincerity.
"…I can't believe I just did that," Squall replied, getting off of the couch, leaving his lover cold
"It was just a kiss," Seifer said, standing up, desperate to comfort his uneasy beau.
"No!" Squall cried. "Just because you get a hard-on every fucking time I touch you doesn't mean you hafta' be so horny now."
"Wait…wait a minute here," Seifer declared, desperate to defend his pride. "Who made the first move?"
"Did you do *anything* to stop me?!" Squall cried, turning to look at Seifer with a look of hate on that pale face of his.
"No," Seifer admitted. "I didn't see any reason too. Zell's sick, but does that mean we have to stop loving each other?"
"You're…you're a perve," Squall said with a laugh. "Well it'll just have to be your hand now., 'cause I sure as hell ain't gonna put up with this anymore."
"And what did *I* do?!" Seifer demanded, pointing at himself, his sky- blue eyes filled with a furious passion.
"Nothing," Squall murmured. "Absolutely nothing."
Seifer laughed mockingly at Squall.
"And that's just it. You've done nothing. I tried to confide in you about Zell, and…and then you looked at me. I saw that look in your eyes. If I didn't kiss you, you sure as hell would've kissed me," Squall exploded, his voice rich with anger.
"Why are you so fuckin' concerned about Zell in the first place? You used to always act like he was so annoying, and now you're goin' crazy over him. What's up with that?" Seifer demanded, equally as angry as Squall.
"Maybe I love Zell more than you," Squall hissed, a look of rage swelling up within his eyes.
"…Bitch," Seifer laughed, trying to hide the pain that swirled sadly within his broken heart.
"I'm sorry," Squall said. His voice sounded hollow. Even to his ears. "I just can't help the way I feel."
"…I can't believe you," Seifer murmured, not caring if his pain escaped his throat or not.
Squall let out a sad sigh. He knew he was being cruel. More than just cruel…He was breaking Seifer's heart. Just like he broke Rinoa's heart. Would he ever be satisfied?
"All I can say is that I'm sorry," Squall said. "And that's it. I can't deny my feelings for Zell. I really think I love him. I hugged him today."
"You what?!" Seifer cried.
"It was a friendly hug," Squall replied. "But I liked it. I liked it allot. I wanna' hug him again. I wanna' do more than just hug him."
"He's straight," Seifer growled between gritted teeth. "There's no way he'd be interseted in you."
"That's fine," Squall murmured. "It's better to just be around Zell as a friend than to be your bitch."
"It's just a crush," Seifer hissed.
"And that's exactly what this was," Squall muttered.
"What was that?" Seifer demanded.
"You heard me," Squall snapped. "This was just a crush. That's all it ever was."
"…" Seifer was speechless. Squall smiled at Seifer one last time. A sad smile…One that Seifer would remember forever. And so, Seifer watched as Squall left, breaking his heart while he did.
Squall left Seifer's dorm. He left that day, and never returned. He knew he had just broken Seifer's heart, but he knew Seifer never really loved him. It was all for the sex. If Squall didn't give in, then Seifer would hurt him. Seifer really was a cruel person, yet he hid it so well with his flamboyant attitude and charismatic smile.
Squall couldn't help but feel a wave relief crash into him as he left Seifer's dorm, a joyous smile spreading across his lips. Happiness radiated from his pale face like light from the sun. It was a nice change from his usually taciturn attitude, which Seifer had tied him down to.
He was going to explain his feelings to Zell…Even if it hurt Rinoa…Even if it hurt Seifer…Even if it hurt himself…
TO BE CONTINUED/PLZ R&R