Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my play toys. I don't share unless I want to, and then only if I like you. Go ahead and cry. I could really use something to laugh about right now.

Author's Note: This chapter is without a doubt the biggest-most-pain-in-the-ass- chapter I have ever had the misfortune to have to write. It's taking it's own sweet ass time in coming and it's taunting me while it does it. Shooting it does not help (I'm considering shooting myself instead), throwing things at it does not help (that doesn't work, I've already tried), and attacking it with machetes is laughable (I'm almost to the point of slitting my throat, but that's a last resort). Since nothing has worked, and I have already posted the postponement interlude, I suppose it does not matter, however, I think it would sincerely upset a few readers should I give in to the urge to slit my wrists. (Not because they'd miss me, but because no one else hates themselves enough to try to finish this damn chapter.) I am left with no option but to trudge stoically ahead and hope like hell that this chapter soon grows tired of mocking me and allows itself to be transferred on virtual paper. Well…here I go. Pray for me.

The Irony of it All

The Chapter from the deepest darkest pit of Hell:

"Revealed faces in unlikely places & and general pandemonium"

Sarah felt Mac stiffen under her, and heard her mutter under her breath, which was nothing new, Sarah had heard her mumblings many times and generally deciphered them while only half paying attention, but this time it sounded kinda funny. Something along the lines of, "Deal with the Devil?.."

"Mac?" Sarah lifted her head from the redhead's shoulder. "Hey Mac? What's wrong? Mac…?" Sarah trailed off, sitting herself upright in order to make Mac pay attention to her. It was then that Sarah noticed something very strange, not only was Mac not looking at her, Mac was looking at the gym at large with something akin to detached astonishment. Slowly Sarah's head pivoted in the general direction of Mac's open-mouthed stare.

Sarah's jaw dropped. Literally.

Every single dancer in the gym was frozen. As in complete and utter stillness. Taking another look around Sarah noted that some of the flyers were hanging in mid-air stunts. Coach Diedra had her hands in her hips and was looking very annoyed, muttering something under her breath about how she knew this was going to happen and….wait a sec. Why wasn't Coach Diedra frozen?

In fact, Not only was she not frozen, she didn't look overly surprised, only slightly irate. So that left three people in a room full of thirty that weren't utterly motionless.

Lynx took this opportunity to pounce on Sarah's head.

Correction, make that four.

Letting her gaze drift over the floor once more Sarah's heart started to jackhammer in her chest, the one thing that should not, could not, be there was there. And something told her that this was about to get really ugly, really quickly.

Sarah didn't trust herself to speak at that moment, so she gently removed Mac's arm from around her shoulders and forced herself to stand on unsteady legs.

'Don't let your voice shake, don't let him see weakness, oh God, anything but that…'

"Hello…Jareth."

~~*****~~

Slowly Jareth allowed himself the indulgence of a smirk, she wasn't afraid of him. If anything she was more defiant than ever, and something he was afraid to identify constricted in his chest. He had to make her see…had to let her know…he'd never been this afraid in his life.

'Don't let her see how she's affected you, don't let her know you're afraid of a mere slip of a girl, By The Light how am I supposed to do this?'

"Hello Sarah."

She didn't scream, she didn't cry, she didn't even blink, she just…stood there. For the longest time she just stood there, seconds spanned into eternity, and just as he couldn't take it anymore she spoke.

"I beat you."

Jareth had enough decency to look somewhat abashed. "Well yes, you did beat me in the game…"

"The game?" The ice in her voice could have frozen Mercury. (The planet, not his Uncle)"Funny choice of words Jareth, I never thought of it as a game."

"Well what would you call it?"

"I was thinking of something along the lines of Hell."

Jareth winced, he'd expected defiance, he'd been prepared for rage, but this cool detached frost was not anything like what he'd pictured. It wasn't like Sarah at all. Where was the fire, the passion he knew she had buried inside? If he could reach that, he might have a chance. The problem was that 'might' was an awfully big word, at least when dealing with a Sarah.

"Really Sarah, Hell? Tad bit cruel don't you think?"

"No more than you."

It was Sinoa's turn to wince,'Ouch. Sarah-1, Jareth-0.'

*That's not funny 'Noa.*

*I don't think it's funny, Jareth's getting his royal ass kicked in the verbal category*

*Since you don't think it's funny why don't you….who in the name of Light is that?*

* Huh? Who's who Tor?…Tor?*

~~*****~~

Mac felt the hairs on the back of her neck raise again, 'Oh great now what?' Momentarily tuning out the fight, in which Sarah was most definitely holding her own, Mac followed the sensation across the room to find a pair of unfamiliar eyes staring at her. Shivers raced down her spine. The power behind that gaze was almost tangibly electric, she didn't know how she'd missed it, well, other than the fact that she was entirely focused on the initial well-being of Sarah, but still…something about that gaze.

* Fiametta? Hey! Pay attention to me dammit!*

* Yes McKyla? Was is it?*

*Who the Hell is that? And don't call me that dammit!*

* Who's who McKyla?*

*You know damn well who. Who's he?*

Fiametta allowed herself an internal chuckle. Great-Grandmother had really loaded the tables this time, and not one of her cousins was going to appreciate it. Mac least of all. In fact, just to speed things along, she decided she'd ignore Mac's demands for information. Let her draw her own conclusions. As of right now she had better things she could be doing, like monitoring the progressing fight between her older cousin and her soon to be cousin-in-law, if Sarah would stop being so stubborn that is.

Knowing Sarah that wasn't likely to happen in this decade so she might have to help out in that department.

*Oh 'Noa dear-heart?*

Sinoa glanced away from the fight, not that it was really a fight, more like a very frigid conversation that had Jareth all squiggy looking. Oh he looked right enough, and he sounded almost jovial, unless you looked hard, and the you could see the telltale lines of strain around his mouth, and almost hear the fright in his voice. From what she could see Sarah hadn't even noticed her or Toren yet, and speaking of Toren he was staring so intently at that little redheaded friend of Sarah's she thought his eyes might plop out onto his shoes. In fact, while she was thinking about it-

*NOA!*

Sinoa once again glanced away from the 'fight,' actually paying attention to the sound of the voice in her head, it wasn't Toren he was to busy gawking, in fact it sounded like…

*Fiametta?*

*In the flesh love, so to speak*

The younger Fey's eyes roved over the petite auburn haired woman in the corner of the gym with her arms crossed over her chest.

*Fiametta is that you?*

*Yep.*

*What are you doing here? We knew you were doing something up here, but we didn't know what…What are you doing up here?*

*Oh nothing much, coaching dance, getting a tan, finding the lost Medean-Lumaian ancestry line, nothing much.*

*You found them! How did you pull that off?*

*Later Sinoa, I promise, but right now all you need to know is that Mac, the redhead you're brother is staring at is part of that line.*

Sinoa raised her proverbial eyebrow at this missive but didn't argue. *Okay, if that's not what you wanted to talk about then what is?*

*Well, as you know, neither Jareth of Sarah is ever going to give any ground on this, right?*

*Right*

*So what if we just happened to get everybody back to the Underground, and continued this there.*

*You think that'll help?*

*I think that'll buy everybody some time until I get back from talking to Great-Grandmother and quite possibly Grandfather*

*I don't envy you that job Fiametta.*

*You will when you hear your job, you get to play baby-sitter, and keep Sarah from killing Jareth*

*Why do you hate me Fiametta?*

Fiametta smiled at Sinoa, turned and grinned at Mac, who was trying to inflict pain with the daggers in her eyes, and glanced once more at Sarah and Jareth before giving to her more mischievous side.

*Psst. Jareth…*

*What the Hell do you want Fiametta?…Fiametta!?!?*

*Ya it's me, get over already. Ya know how you wondered where the Sarah you know is?*

*Ummm…*

*Don't deny it Jareth, I heard you thinking.*

*Fine.*

*You want to deal with the hellcat she's forcing herself to cage right now? Ask her where her fire is, and then tell her she's starting to remind you of her step-mother*

*Is that wise?*

*Well, look at it this way, things can't get any worse…*

*Are you sure?*

*Trust me.*

Fiametta smiled, things were about to get a whole lot more interesting.

~~*****~~

'Is my voice really as hard as it sounds?' Sarah was rapidly losing control of herself, and the more control she lost, the colder she pushed herself to be. It was the only thing she knew how to do. She could not, would not, permit herself to speak without thinking. She'd nearly lost Toby last time that had happened, and in light of the past twenty-four hours she wasn't sure she could trust herself to speak to Jareth without saying things that were better left unsaid. Words she could not allow herself to say, and the words she didn't know she wanted to say.

Those were what she was most afraid of.

"Sarah, I only did as you asked."

"When it suited you to Jareth."

"What are you implying Sarah? I behaved honorably." 'To an extent that surprised even me, seeing as how all I wanted to do was lock you in the nearest tower and keep you there for the next thousand millennia.'

"Oh really? Tell me Jareth, do you really believe that you did only as I asked?" Sarah forced herself to look him in the eye.

Jareth gave the patented cat-n-canary smile. "Of course Sarah. I could not act otherwise."

"If that's the case then why didn't you give Toby back when I asked for him? And while we're on the subject, why are you hear? I never asked for you to come here." Sarah kept her tone even, emotionless, despite the fact that she was anticipating the answer.

Jareth cringed… internally of course, no use in letting Sarah think she was getting the upper hand. If that happened it wouldn't be long before she realized she already had the upper hand and things would progress down hill from there. Not that he had the slightest clue as to how to prevent this, looking at this from a logical point of view he was working backwards. This only goes to prove the point that humans were the oddest creatures how he'd managed to fall in love and bond himself to one was beyond him…though come to think of it, it wasn't beyond his Great-grandmother. Not that she hand picked Sarah, but put them in this rather uncomfortable situation sooner than he wanted was entirely in the her unscrupulous realm of possibility. He'd have to make it a point to speak with her once more about-

"JARETH. Once again, What. Are. You. Doing. Here?" The words were punctuated with slow deliberate steps toward Jareth.

~~*****~~

'Is he listening to me? What's he doing here? He's not supposed to be here, but he's safe. Safe. Am I? Why does it matter? He can't be here…'

'Why can't he be here? Does he make you uneasy?'

'Of course not, I beat him, I can do it again if it comes to that. Oh God please don't let it come to that….'

'What's the matter Sarah…? You don't want him here, remember.?..'

'I do to!….Wait, no I don't, I mean, he's safe, and I know this now, and now he has to go…has to go'

'What if he doesn't?'

'He has to go…doesn't he? Oh God…focus Sarah. Get your mind out of circular motion….'

Sarah forced her mind away from her silent reverie.

Slowly, enunciating every word Sarah spoke, "JARETH. Once again, What. Are. You. Doing. Here?"

It was dawning horror that Sarah realized every word she spoke brought her one step closer to him. 'What am I doing, feet! Stop, no, he can't see…'

~~*****~~

'Okay Mac, Sarah's asked the sixty-four thousand dollar question, what's the response?…Jareth tread carefully the ice is thin…What's Butterfly thinking…?'

This at least, Mac could figure out. Slowly, carefully she once again amplified the link she and Sarah shared, though she didn't really think that Sarah would notice if she made as much clamor a herd of elephants, so preoccupied was she with Jareth, in fact her thought's on this subject were getting pretty interesting…

'….I beat him, I can do it again if it comes to that. Oh God, please don't let it come to that…'

'What's the matter Sarah…? You don't want him here, remember.?..'

'I do!-'

*McKyla! Shame on you young lady, you're eavesdropping….*

*Shame on me? What about you Fiametta? You're the one who taught me to eavesdrop!…And don't call me that!!!*

*That's different.*

*Oh really Yoda? How, and by the way have you noticed that Sarah has a really wicked sub-conscious ?*

*Who? What?*

*Yoda…he's the little green dude, ya' know, 'Use the Force Lu-'*

*Never mind! All I have to say to you is hang on.*

*Hang on? What are you talking about, and by the way why won't you tell me who he is?!?!? I want to know! Now Fiametta….Fiametta*

~~*****~~

'Does she still feel me? Why can't I…Oh by all the magic of Tir Na Nog, NO.'

~~*****~~

Sinoa winced, her brother just figured out the answer to a rather large question. This was going to bring trouble, of that she was certain.

* 'Noa?*

Sinoa glanced away from the poor unfortunate soul that was her brother. *Yes Fiametta?*

*Are you ready?*

*Whenever you are*

*On ten, okay?*

*Wait, on ten, or after ten?*

*On ten…I think*

*You think?*

*On ten, definitely on ten.*

*Fiametta, you had better be on ten. …Fiametta? To Tartartus and Damnation! Everyone keeps ignoring me!*

~~*****~~

'He's so close…he's so handsome…No, bad. Handsome bad. Very bad.'

'I thought handsome was good?'

'Shut-up! You're not helping!'

'Was I supposed to?'

~~*****~~

'How do I answer this?…she's so close, she's so beautiful…how do I say this…What did Fiametta say?…the step-mother?'

'Tad insecure are we?'

'No.'

'Liar.'

'Shut-up you're not helping.'

'Should I be?'

~~*****~~

*ONE*

*TWO*

*THREE*

*FOUR*

~~*****~~

'Okay here we-…here I go…'

"Sarah, where is the fire, do you know you're starting to act…."

~~*****~~

*FIVE*

*SIX*

*SEVEN*

*EIGHT*

~~*****~~

"…just like your step mother."

Mac cringed.

Sinoa closed her eyes.

~~*****~~

NINE……………………………

~~*****~~

Toren lowered his face.

Lynx hissed.

And Sarah….

"What did you say to me?"

~~*****~~

*TEN!*

~~~~~******************~~~~~

Fiametta picked herself up off the floor, wincing slightly as she moved her stiff body. It was always difficult to transition that many people at once. Especially when she had such specific places for each of the to go. After all the Underground simply was not detailed enough, and Fiametta prided herself on her attention to details. So when all was said and transitioned, Sinoa and Lynx had been moved to the throne room, currently housing a rather rowdy Goblin Party, (with extra-strength wine, thoughtfully provided by her great uncle Dionysious.) and trying to get out of there should keep them occupied for quite a while. Mac and her dear cousin Toren were placed outside in a nice little secluded spot in the Hedge Maze, she only hoped Mac didn't kill Toren if he happened to tell her she was beautiful, she really hated that.

And Jareth and Sarah…well, let's just say she didn't mean to lock them in the Ballroom together.

Really.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's Note: *looks around in amazement* I'm shocked. I finished and I didn't kill myself. In fact I think this is my favorite chapter. That's funny…I think…I'm sure there's humor in this situation…somewhere.

Oh and before I go, I worked my ass off on this chapter, so be kind and let me know what you think.