Reload- Got some finally constructive criticism, that my long flames self too as yet another flame… #-_-# Suitably abashed, about a very venomous reaction, I now take the hints given to me by this immensely helpful personage…
Bored. So here's a short fic on the conversation that passed between Elrond and Arwen before they parted at Gondor. It's a spoiler for those poor fellows struggling through the series, or the lazy ones who depend entirely on the movies.
Oh yeah, the customary…. The characters aren't mine, they never were and they never will be. They are the sole creation of the genius we know as JRR Tolkien, and property of his estate. Now that little bit of legal necessity is over, READ ON!
*******
'I've been expecting you' Arwen said sadly, her white, elven hands knotting in her lap, hidden among the pale teal satin of her skirts. She didn't look up at the overwhelming presence of her father.
Her sharp ears had not detected a footfall, but Elrond Halfelven had a presence she would never mistake, nor reject.
He had entered the room as silently as a breath of wind, carried the feel of hundreds of summers spent in a painful, solitary necessity. She felt it acutely, as if in severing her immortality, her eyes had finally been open to the suffering of her kindred.
'You are not happy with my choices. You wish to entreat me back to Imladris… to the Grey Havens and Valinor beyond…' She had decided to strike first, to quench his words with those of her own. She had practiced her appeal many times in the silent hours of the night. 'Father please… I love him. I would give my life as I choose; I do not want it tainted by the choices of others!' Her voice rose artfully, her cause strengthening inside her 'I choose him, father, I choose love over immortality- I would….' Her words trailed off. Until that moment she had her back to her father, but as she spoke of the needs of her heart she turned, and the words died like the sound of a sigh.
Elrond Halfelven stood as quiet and watchful as a monolith of time, his face haggard with the trials of the past years, a map of lines that told the story of his life. His expression bore the pain of parting, but not the hard denial she had expected. Her heart quailed with pity. He could have hurled words of anger at her, tears of pain or stricken pleas, she would not have been swayed in her choice to leave her family, but his accepting silence bent her resolve like a sapling in the breeze.
'I do not wish to take your choices from you.' He said softly, hints of strain touched her elven ears, creased her fair forehead 'you know your own heart better then I can. I wish nothing but happiness for you and Ellessar…'
'And yet you seek me still…Questions are written on your face as clearly as by your hand.' She finished, and his dark eyes clouded.
'Yes, I seek you still, I know not why. Your presence is a light to me, and light is needed sorely as our kindred dies in this world. Yet that is not the reason I come.' He stated pacing slightly, hands clasped behind his back, robe trailing him like a shadow.
'Speak your mind. I would hear you no matter the subject' she urged gently. He stopped his penance-like pace and sighed
'If I were to speak my mind, daughter mine, the words would trail on as endless as the stars. No I know not why I am come. I know only that I do'
'Perplex me not on the eve of my union with Aragorn.' She entreated, getting gracefully to her feet. 'I read the questions on your mind…'
'Then I need not ask them.'
'You do not wish to speak them.' Her slightly acid answer made him look at her penetratingly. In spite of herself, she winced slightly wishing to stay silent and accept his domination. However, she forged on, knowing this was no time to wilt and stay silent. Indeed, time was slipping by them in the tense and empty seconds. 'You say you understand my choice, my motives, yet still it perplexes you. You question me for what I choose! I see it!'
'No… Arwen… Undómiel…' He pleaded softly, taking her slight hands in his 'you understand me not. I ask not the question of your choices. I ask of my own. I do not wish to burden you with them. And yet….' He sighed. 'Choices… you chose with you heart. Duty is a harsh master, and nothing gladdens me more then knowing the daughter of my blood made her choice willingly, without the harsh, cruel master duty crushing your wishes in its unforgiving hand. Ah, Elbereth! If I could just taste that freedom!' His yearning words struck her a harsh blow and unwarranted tears welled in her beautiful eyes.
'Aye, if it were that easy I should shoulder all your burdens to give you the freedom you yearn for….'
'But it is not.' He said coldly, hands leaving hers abruptly. He walked silently to the window, leaning heavily on the sill. She ached to comfort him, but had not the knowledge. In the only gesture she conceived as right, she glided to his side.
'It pains you to see us together.' She said gently, her heart in her voice. 'You will leave much behind when you sail into the West….'
'Yet I must.' He sighed 'I shall diminish and die if I remain. I shall lose my sons…'
'Elladan and Elrohir have decided?' She had heard nothing of her brothers' decision to stay or go.
'They have spent many a year avenging Celebrian…' His voice was unnaturally taught. 'To see her again….'
'Do not let me hold you here, father of my heart…' She pleaded, hearing his longing for her long away mother, who had many thousands of years ago sailed from the Grey Havens. She finally understood her father's dilemma. 'See her again; tell her with joy of my choice. Be not aggrieved. Happiness is with me now…' She gently laid her hand on her fathers 'and I wish it now for you. Go.'
He looked slowly at her, standing like a man aged many a year. 'I go then.' He said finally. 'The rings must pass from Middle Earth. I go, and I leave part of me behind…' He gently acknowledged her hand on his.
The door behind creaked and heavy footfall belied an intrusion. They both spun around with the speed of elves. Aragorn was framed in the doorway, his eyes switching between father and daughter, unsure of the welcome of his interruption.
'Forgive me lord Elrond' He bowed slightly. Elrond returned the bow with a slight inclination of his head 'Arwen… My people wish to gaze upon the fair beauty of their Queen. If this is not the time, I shall wait…'
'I am come' she nodded, tightening her grip on her father's hand before sweeping towards her beloved. She looked back imploringly at her father, not wishing to part on this note. Elrond seemed to understand and replied, holding up his hand in benediction.
'Be well, daughter mine.' He said simply. Many meanings filled those four short words. Her eyes brimmed with tears as she replied of a kind
'And be well father. Happiness will prevail….' She left the room, her arm lightly on Aragorn's.
***********
He was unsure on the time he stared out the window. Time held little meaning for him anymore. Yet it could not have been long, for the sun still blessed the lands when another presence was known behind him.
'Mithrandir.' He acknowledged. He almost felt the old wizard's scrutiny bore into his back.
'I heard you were alone in here, my old friend. Much occupies your mind. Would you not share it?' He offered with characteristic bluntness. The elf lord almost smiled in spite of himself at Gandalf's untoward tactlessness.
'Ah, Gandalf, life is wrought with choices, and they all have two edges, one as keen as the other. Pray you live not as long as I, for you can only bare a certain amount of cuts before pain dominates your life…'
The wizard did not answer immediately, and the silence burned between them. When he did it was slow and thoughtful 'You shall come then, and Arwen has made her choice. Cut both ways, not only by your own choices… I say it is not a bad thing though. You have no other….' There was an amused silence 'Choice. Your decision was not awry….'
'I am aware, old friend. Choices are oft on the mark, yet the pain is more. Duty…'
'We are all duty bound. It is the burden of power.' Gandalf interrupted.
'Elebereth Gilthoniel! Duty burns hotter and hurts harder then choice! I should, however, be less if I did not bare either. Ah, Gandalf. These are sore times indeed. Mortal man has reft many a thing from me, and yet given as much in return. It was a mortal who allowed the ring to continue, a mortal who allowed it to be destroyed. Both choices of mortals, the powerless one did what the powerful one failed at! Choices and mortals. Ah me! Both have taken my daughter, my brother…' He sighed.
'Yet both were- are happy, regardless.' Gandalf soothed. Elrond closed his eyes and sighed.
'I know, and it rends me I cannot shrug duty to share their happiness.'
'Friend.' Gandalf started. 'That is life, we are the chosen, the ones who bare the things the others cannot. Look at your daughter. If she bore the duties you do, it would crush her fair soul like a fist about a slender lily. Happiness for us is the happiness of others; it cannot be any other way.'
They both remained silent, staring out at the gardens. Gandalf's eyes reflective, Elrond's haunted with old memories, and new pains.
As the sun set, the horn sounded for the summoning to the engagement banquet. Gandalf said nothing as he left, simply clasped his elven friend's shoulder and leaving like a shadow into the night.
Elrond remained for a little longer.
'Ah cruel fate, your plan for me is almost over. Let this be the last pain I must bare lest it crush me under its weight.' He asked of the cold, unfeeling night. With a sigh and a final look at the unwinking stars, he left as silently as he had arrived, putting his pains away to honour the banquet dedicated to his daughters irredeemable choice
End