You crashed by the gate
Captured my fate
Salvation
My eyes couldn't see
I hardly breathed
My heart was asleep
Salvation
- 9 -
The room was filled with people clad in light colours. Their faces
were bright and happy, yet showed signs of a strange sort of
numbness, as if they weren't able to think for themselves. They loved
being in this room, surrounded by the ones they loved. They had
chosen to be here. Yet, some of them seemed to be out of place and
out of time waiting for something that they couldn't grasp.
Amongst them was a young woman that by far seemed to be the one most
out of place. She had entered the group last, and was still adjusting
to this new pace in her life. Everything had come to a stop,
including her thoughts, dreams and ideas. She felt that something was
wrong. Yet she too wore that same expression that they all had to the
bone. She was a part of them. And she didn't want to be
anywhere else. Even if she had wanted to, she could not leave.
'Today,' Dominique started with the voice that spoke of trust and
faith to his followers. 'Today, I have found what I have been looking
for. I searched for people that were in search of me. We encountered
and discovered each other, and now they are here because they chose
to be. They're standing before you as they have come. They will live
here amongst you and share their belongings with you. They will love
you and take care of you, as they love and take care of me.'
Dominique stretched out his finger and pointed at the three people
standing before all the other members on a small podium. They looked
nervous and out of place. But the ones that stood on the podium
smiled and nodded, as if to assure them that they had made the right
choice.
'These newcomers still seek their place in society. They have chosen
to be excluded from their own worlds to live with us. They want to be
a part of our family. I expect you all to give them the friendship
that they deserve.'
Dominique looked at the woman in her late forties he had selected. She
was standing beside Mulder and seemed to be the most nervous one. She
was a widow. Her family had deserted her when she married her late
husband, making her choose between them and the man she loved. After
their marriage he had made himself a small fortune that now belonged
to her. Dominique had chosen her after running an thorough background
check. Even though she was one of the oldest women around, she would
also be one of the easiest targets he'd ever had. If she died,
no one would investigate. She had no one that would care.
The woman, Renata Lowe, glanced at the two people beside her that were
newcomers, like her. She felt like she was standing on a stage, acting
in a play. This seemed all so unreal that she was already dreading
the choice she had made. She didn't have to be here, yet she was.
Beside her stood a young lady in her early twenties that had been keen
on being part of the group instantly. He didn't want to have her at
first, because she wouldn't bring in enough money. But she was able
to pay the entry-money and would make for a nice extra to the fortune
he was gathering. Plus, she had a great body. If he were lucky, he
would still enjoy that for a while before the grand finale he was
preparing.
The one he worried about the most was Mulder. The ex-FBI-agent seemed
to be standing there expecting a huge change in his life yet there
was something in his eyes Dominique couldn't read and didn't like.
The background check had shown that the agent had been telling the
truth. He had quit the FBI, leaving behind everything. He had handed
over his badge and gun.
An insider he had used before confirmed that the FBI-agent had always
been an outcast and was nicknamed 'Spooky Mulder'. He was a joke to a
lot of his colleagues because he investigated cases of the
paranormal. He had also insisted for years that aliens had abducted
his sister. When he resigned, a lot of high-ranking officers had been
quite pleased. It seemed that they had been trying to get him out for
years.
Dominique had no idea why he took in Mulder that easily. Dennis had
asked him bluntly why he took the risk, and he couldn't answer. There
was something in the man that appealed to him. During the short time
he had been followed by one of his men, he had not sought out contact
with his friends or former colleagues. He had lived in seclusion in
his apartment, not even going out for food. He had lived on junk food
all the time, delivered at home. He acted as they had all
acted before the final decision. Waiting. Expecting. Wanting more from
life than what was given to them right now.
During the three conversations before the selection, Mulder had come
across as a self-assured man on the outside with a lot of issues on
the inside. It took Dominique some time to force some personal
information out of him. The only time he had watched the agent
collapse was during the very first session, where he had told them
about the one issue in his life that had never been resolved.
But finally the agent did seem to give in and talked about his past
and the one woman that had deserted him: his partner, Agent Scully.
He had called her a traitor that worked for the FBI and was sent to
debunk his work. He had worked for years with her, yet always doubted
her loyalties.
He told him that Scully had sought him out a couple of times, trying
to get in touch with him. Her description matched with that of a
redhead woman that had been seen walking in and out of Mulder's
building a few times but who had left almost instantly, as if she had
been sent away.
But Dominique was still careful. He needed to make sure it was true.
And there was only one way to find that out. It would be Mulder's
first test, and the one that mattered the most.
And so the test of faith began as the newcomers were welcomed by their
'family' and invited to join them for lunch. A large, bright dining
room was set for a group of thirty people. There were no children on
the premises. Dominique refused mothers or fathers with children,
even when they had a fortune to spend. He didn't want marital or
legal issues in his little world.
There were twenty-six followers now, counting the three newcomers.
From the six guards that walked around on the compound, three were
invited to join lunch. Dennis, Dominique's most trusted right-hand
sat at one side of the table, glancing occasionally at Mulder.
Dominique took a seat at the head of the table. The two other guards
took place between the very quiet groups of followers.
All guests were invited to sit at the simple lunch table. All the
plates were white and plain. The table was not decorated. Everything
breathed simplicity. Besides each plate stood a very small white cup
with a white tablet on it. Mulder was seated next to Gretl, the woman
he had met on the square, and Denise, a young woman who didn't seem
older than fifteen but was in fact twenty-eight. Vickie Moss sat at
the far end of the table. There was no way he could speak to
her now without acting suspicious.
He watched them all, trying to read something of their faces. Their
expressions were blank and they hardly spoke a word, even though they
didn't seem unhappy. They simply sat still, waiting for a move from
Dominique, who looked them over, crossing his hands under his chin.
Only when he moved to take the white tablet out of his cup, the others
did the same. The newcomers watched as the followers took the tablet
and put it in their mouth, swallowing it with the glass of water that
was foreseen for everyone. The three new ones didn't have a tablet.
Mulder glanced at Dominique who stood at the top of the table and
watched his followers. But he didn't take his tablet. He brought his
hand to his mouth and put the tablet in, but with a very quick move
that was hardly noticeable, he spit it out again in the palm of his
hand.
Then his hand moved towards the napkin and shoved it underneath. And
no one saw except for Mulder, who tried to not to look too openly
at the man that deceived his people.
Lunch followed, as it would have done everywhere. The food was
prepared simple but good. There was only water to drink. There was no
selection possible. Everyone received the same food. Everyone emptied
their plate; despite the fact there was more than enough.
At first Mulder was tempted to leave a bit on the plate, but didn't.
He didn't want to arouse suspicion. He was a good, little boy after
all.
Everyone ate in silence. Not a single word was uttered until the
plates were empty. Then a few people spoke to each other but the
conversations were whispered in silence.
Then Dominique rose and asked the three newcomers to follow him.
Surprised the three rose and followed the man up the stairs to the
third floor, and through a large corridor into separately locked
quarters. The leader used a key to unlock two French doors and asked
them to take a seat on white chairs in a small waiting area. The
three took a seat and waited in silence until he returned and
invited the shy young woman in.
The woman seemed surprised that she was the first one to go in, but
followed without questioning. The second pair of doors locked behind
her. Mulder leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes. It
all seemed to so unreal and strange, and far from a good idea.
'What is all this?' Renata suddenly whispered beside him. 'I thought
this would be some sort of resting place, but I feel like I'm in a
cult or something.'
'I don't know,' Mulder responded, liking the woman instantly. Her
bright eyes seemed to be as sceptic as Scully's.
'I'm not so sure that I like what's going on here,' the woman
continued. 'Do you think it would be too late to tell them I changed
my mind?'
'I don't know,' Mulder responded, wondering why an attractive woman
like her would be in a place like this. Little did he know that she
was wondering the same thing about him. 'I think I'm going to hang
around to see what happens next.'
She smiled and offered her hand. 'Renata Lowe.'
'Fox Mulder.'
'Just promise me one thing, Fox,' she said with a conspiracy look in
her eyes, 'the moment I start acting strange, tell me so I can work
on it.'
He laughed, surprised that it felt so good to have a bit of humour in
this place. It was something to cling onto.
A few moments later the meek woman came out and walked past them. She
didn't seem to notice them. Dominique came out and asked Renata to
follow him. The woman winked at Mulder and walked after the leader
into his quarters.
Mulder rose up from his seat and walked over to the barred window. As
he looked outside he saw the others on the lawn. They seemed to be
part of a Victorian novel. They all sat or walked over the lawn. Some
of them were reading. Others just sat there in silence to enjoy the
sun. He watched as the meek woman joined them and sat down as well.
They all reminded him of zombies. Whatever that tablet did or didn't
do, it was probably one of the most dangerous drugs out there to
cause this result. And he knew that soon enough they would be forced
to go the same way.
Mulder thought of the cell phone he had hidden in his room. Before
lunch, they had been given the chance to unpack their belongings. He
hadn't dared to leave the phone in the pocket of his pants. Instead
he had hidden it in a pair of socks in the bottom drawer of the small
closet he received.
Before entering the compound, they had received instructions on how
much stuff they could take with them. One of the specific conditions
had been not to bring books or music. Books were available in a huge
library in the main building, and music played from the stereo system
that could be heard all over the building. Of course modern music
wasn't allowed. All that played was selected, classical
music.
There was no television available in the rooms, but one of the main
halls had a small television room that was open between specific
hours. There would always be a guard available to monitor the program
selection. No violence was allowed.
All of these conditions just added to the sense of seclusion and
isolation. There were no newspapers or means of finding out what was
happening in the outside world. There were no telephones, except for
one in Dominique's office. And the guards all had cell phones to be
in constant touch with each other.
Several times that morning and during lunch, Mulder had wanted to call
Scully and tell her that he was pulling back on his decisions. But he
wasn't a quitter. Looking at the people in this place, it seemed that
they could use a bit of help. At least now he would be able to find
out for himself what was going on in this place.
Dominique most definitely had the best of views on the garden. From
this spot he could watch any activity and see any intruders coming
from afar. Mulder wondered why he had chosen the third floor though.
It would take him some time to go from one end of the building to the
other.
The door opened again. This time Mulder was asked to come in. Renata
Lowe, the woman he had spoken to just a few moments before, now
ignored him as if he didn't exist. She had changed ina few minutes
time.
Dominique waited for him in a white room with a large desk, a cupboard
behind that desk and a table with two chairs. Against the back wall a
white couch was supposed to bring a bit of comfort to the room, but
in fact it just added to the coldness of the room. With the light
furniture and lack of decoration, it seemed to be a doctor's office.
'Fox,' Dominique sat, inviting the man to sit down on one of the
chairs. 'Welcome to 'Salvation Awaits'. I am very happy that you
decided to join us and take this time to get your life in order. I
was doubting for a bit that you would take the step, but I'm glad
that you did.'
'I am happy,' Mulder said with steady voice. 'But it feels strange.
I've never lived with this many people together. I'm not so sure that
I'll be able to fit in.'
'You will get used to that soon enough. Remember that you always still
have your own room left if you want to be alone. You are free to go
wherever you want except for my offices. The doors will always remain
locked. My quarters are on the second floor, just like yours, but
again you are not allowed to go there. That goes for all the rooms.
When in private, everyone should respect everyone's decision to be
alone.'
'I understand that,' Mulder nodded.
'The grounds are large and appealing for strolls. You can compare it
with a small park. Our garden is one of the most beautiful in the
country. You can do whatever you want to feel at home. We support
hobbies and pastimes. If you like to paint or sculpt, we will provide
the materials. And if you want to go in search of one your talents,
we will help you as much as we can.'
Dominique smiled. 'I'm sorry; it sounds like I'm laying down the rules
here. I don't want to chase you away. You are free to go whenever you
want. You are not a prisoner here. If you feel like you don't belong
here anymore, you can leave. But I can guarantee you that no one has
done that ever since I started 'SA'. There's never been a desire to
leave us. I'm very proud of that.'
'I understand,' Mulder said as he relaxed a little bit.
Dominique leaned against the desk and placed a hand on the man's
shoulder. 'You needed help, Fox, and you found it with us.'
Dominique stood up, leaving the desk as he walked to the barred window
and glanced outside at his people. 'As you know, our income exists of
yoga-classes and relaxation techniques. My advice is that you follow
those classes. Soon you will be asked to recruit new people, like you
have been recruited on the square. But that's for the future. Right
now I want you to relax and enjoy.'
Mulder smiled, thinking that this was the end of it. But of course it
wasn't. Dominique put his hand in his pocket and stretched it out
before him, opening it so that Mulder could see a tablet on the palm
of his hand. 'There's one last thing that you need to do before
becoming a member of our community. You need to show me that you mean
what you say.'
'What is this?' Mulder asked, looking at the tablet.
'You already know. Your friends already take these tablets. They're
not drugs, Fox. They're homeopathic products that will help you to
relax a little bit. Everyone that comes in here is so tense and
stressed out that we need to help you a bit when you start out. These
tablets will do that for you. You will feel a lot better.'
'I don't want to feel numb or out of control,' Mulder objected weakly.
'You won't. You've seen all the others. They take those tablets
voluntarily. It makes them feel good about themselves and that's what
they need right now. Every single person out there has been in
trouble one way or another. They all suffered for something that was
beyond their power. I help them as I will help you forget about your
sister's disappearance.'
'I don't want to forget.'
'Yes, you do. Otherwise you wouldn't be here.'
'No, I came here to find peace, not oblivion.'
'The only way you can find peace is by forgetting what has driven you
to this point in time. I know what pushed you in the past, Fox. You
haven't had a life since the day your sister disappeared. You put
your life at stake so many times to find her. Isn't it time that you
stop doing that and start living your own life? Don't you deserve
that much?'
'I do,' Mulder said quietly, 'but I refuse to take these tablets. I
want to be in control.'
Dominique sighed deeply and said, 'Then I'm afraid we don't have
nothing more to talk about, Fox. I ask you to do one thing for me and
you refuse. I cannot help you any longer if you don't scratch my back
for once. But I understand. I'll have Dennis help you pack and
leave.'
'No, wait,' Mulder said weakly, stopping Dominique before he could
open the door. 'Is this the only way I can stay?'
'I'm afraid it is.'
'And they're not drugs?'
'I guarantee it. Why don't you try it out and see what it tells you?
You'll feel fantastic, I swear.'
Mulder took one of the tablets from Dominique's palm. The leader
handed him a glass of water and said, 'Show me your faith, Fox.'
Mulder closed his eyes as he swallowed the pill, knowing what it would
do. But he had no choice. Dominique watched as he drank the water.
Then Mulder opened his eyes again, staring at the cult leader. The
effect was noticeable instantly as the drug entered his bloodstream
and did its job.
Mulder smiled, as the world seemed to become a new place suddenly. The
change was so clear, deep inside of him. He wanted to fight off the
drugs but couldn't. Every worry seemed to be far away; every reason
for existence unimportant. There was just this place and no worry in
the world. Everything outside of this room was another man's worry.
Dominique leaned over, patting him gently on the shoulder. 'I'll take
care of you from now on, Fox,' he whispered, using that voice he had
learned to use so well over the past few years. 'You're mine now and
I'll never let you go.'
Mulder nodded and stood up. Dominique grabbed his arm and guided him
out of the room. 'Why don't you join the others?' the leader said,
leading Mulder to the staircase.
The FBI-agent quietly made his way down. His footsteps were noticeable
on the wooden staircase that had been restored two years ago.
Downstairs he joined the others in the garden, taking a seat on one
of the benches. There was a comfortable silence amongst them.
Dominique glanced through the window at his three new kids. They acted
like they all did. Tomorrow he would know how they would react to the
drugs. Some of them couldn't stand them and became ill. Most of them
went through the motions without too many hassles.
But one thing the drug did for all them of: It never lost its grip on
them. It unwound the toughest of people, and delivered them in his
hands like lambs to the slaughterhouse. And he could do with any of
them whatever he wanted to do. This drug not only controlled them; it
also set their minds open to him. And when he ordered them to do
something for him, they did. Not one of them had ever refused.
The agent had passed the test of faith for now. But it had only just
begun, and the coming days he would keep a strict eye on him. He
would have never let the agent go. Even if he had decided to refuse
those tablets, he would have forced the drugs upon him. He couldn't
allow any of them to leave. For that it was already too late the
moment they walked into his house.
In the middle of the night Mulder woke up with a splitting headache,
lying on the bed in his small, private room. It took him a while to
realize he was at the secluded compound. Before long he realized what
had happened. But he had no recollection of anything that happened
after he had taken the tablet in Dominique's office.
He couldn't remember having dinner. He couldn't remember talking to
any of the others. And he didn't know how he had gotten to his room.
There was just the realization that somehow he had lost half a day of
his life and there was no way of getting that back.
And the worst part was that he would not know if he had betrayed
himself.
Captured my fate
Salvation
My eyes couldn't see
I hardly breathed
My heart was asleep
Salvation
- 9 -
The room was filled with people clad in light colours. Their faces
were bright and happy, yet showed signs of a strange sort of
numbness, as if they weren't able to think for themselves. They loved
being in this room, surrounded by the ones they loved. They had
chosen to be here. Yet, some of them seemed to be out of place and
out of time waiting for something that they couldn't grasp.
Amongst them was a young woman that by far seemed to be the one most
out of place. She had entered the group last, and was still adjusting
to this new pace in her life. Everything had come to a stop,
including her thoughts, dreams and ideas. She felt that something was
wrong. Yet she too wore that same expression that they all had to the
bone. She was a part of them. And she didn't want to be
anywhere else. Even if she had wanted to, she could not leave.
'Today,' Dominique started with the voice that spoke of trust and
faith to his followers. 'Today, I have found what I have been looking
for. I searched for people that were in search of me. We encountered
and discovered each other, and now they are here because they chose
to be. They're standing before you as they have come. They will live
here amongst you and share their belongings with you. They will love
you and take care of you, as they love and take care of me.'
Dominique stretched out his finger and pointed at the three people
standing before all the other members on a small podium. They looked
nervous and out of place. But the ones that stood on the podium
smiled and nodded, as if to assure them that they had made the right
choice.
'These newcomers still seek their place in society. They have chosen
to be excluded from their own worlds to live with us. They want to be
a part of our family. I expect you all to give them the friendship
that they deserve.'
Dominique looked at the woman in her late forties he had selected. She
was standing beside Mulder and seemed to be the most nervous one. She
was a widow. Her family had deserted her when she married her late
husband, making her choose between them and the man she loved. After
their marriage he had made himself a small fortune that now belonged
to her. Dominique had chosen her after running an thorough background
check. Even though she was one of the oldest women around, she would
also be one of the easiest targets he'd ever had. If she died,
no one would investigate. She had no one that would care.
The woman, Renata Lowe, glanced at the two people beside her that were
newcomers, like her. She felt like she was standing on a stage, acting
in a play. This seemed all so unreal that she was already dreading
the choice she had made. She didn't have to be here, yet she was.
Beside her stood a young lady in her early twenties that had been keen
on being part of the group instantly. He didn't want to have her at
first, because she wouldn't bring in enough money. But she was able
to pay the entry-money and would make for a nice extra to the fortune
he was gathering. Plus, she had a great body. If he were lucky, he
would still enjoy that for a while before the grand finale he was
preparing.
The one he worried about the most was Mulder. The ex-FBI-agent seemed
to be standing there expecting a huge change in his life yet there
was something in his eyes Dominique couldn't read and didn't like.
The background check had shown that the agent had been telling the
truth. He had quit the FBI, leaving behind everything. He had handed
over his badge and gun.
An insider he had used before confirmed that the FBI-agent had always
been an outcast and was nicknamed 'Spooky Mulder'. He was a joke to a
lot of his colleagues because he investigated cases of the
paranormal. He had also insisted for years that aliens had abducted
his sister. When he resigned, a lot of high-ranking officers had been
quite pleased. It seemed that they had been trying to get him out for
years.
Dominique had no idea why he took in Mulder that easily. Dennis had
asked him bluntly why he took the risk, and he couldn't answer. There
was something in the man that appealed to him. During the short time
he had been followed by one of his men, he had not sought out contact
with his friends or former colleagues. He had lived in seclusion in
his apartment, not even going out for food. He had lived on junk food
all the time, delivered at home. He acted as they had all
acted before the final decision. Waiting. Expecting. Wanting more from
life than what was given to them right now.
During the three conversations before the selection, Mulder had come
across as a self-assured man on the outside with a lot of issues on
the inside. It took Dominique some time to force some personal
information out of him. The only time he had watched the agent
collapse was during the very first session, where he had told them
about the one issue in his life that had never been resolved.
But finally the agent did seem to give in and talked about his past
and the one woman that had deserted him: his partner, Agent Scully.
He had called her a traitor that worked for the FBI and was sent to
debunk his work. He had worked for years with her, yet always doubted
her loyalties.
He told him that Scully had sought him out a couple of times, trying
to get in touch with him. Her description matched with that of a
redhead woman that had been seen walking in and out of Mulder's
building a few times but who had left almost instantly, as if she had
been sent away.
But Dominique was still careful. He needed to make sure it was true.
And there was only one way to find that out. It would be Mulder's
first test, and the one that mattered the most.
And so the test of faith began as the newcomers were welcomed by their
'family' and invited to join them for lunch. A large, bright dining
room was set for a group of thirty people. There were no children on
the premises. Dominique refused mothers or fathers with children,
even when they had a fortune to spend. He didn't want marital or
legal issues in his little world.
There were twenty-six followers now, counting the three newcomers.
From the six guards that walked around on the compound, three were
invited to join lunch. Dennis, Dominique's most trusted right-hand
sat at one side of the table, glancing occasionally at Mulder.
Dominique took a seat at the head of the table. The two other guards
took place between the very quiet groups of followers.
All guests were invited to sit at the simple lunch table. All the
plates were white and plain. The table was not decorated. Everything
breathed simplicity. Besides each plate stood a very small white cup
with a white tablet on it. Mulder was seated next to Gretl, the woman
he had met on the square, and Denise, a young woman who didn't seem
older than fifteen but was in fact twenty-eight. Vickie Moss sat at
the far end of the table. There was no way he could speak to
her now without acting suspicious.
He watched them all, trying to read something of their faces. Their
expressions were blank and they hardly spoke a word, even though they
didn't seem unhappy. They simply sat still, waiting for a move from
Dominique, who looked them over, crossing his hands under his chin.
Only when he moved to take the white tablet out of his cup, the others
did the same. The newcomers watched as the followers took the tablet
and put it in their mouth, swallowing it with the glass of water that
was foreseen for everyone. The three new ones didn't have a tablet.
Mulder glanced at Dominique who stood at the top of the table and
watched his followers. But he didn't take his tablet. He brought his
hand to his mouth and put the tablet in, but with a very quick move
that was hardly noticeable, he spit it out again in the palm of his
hand.
Then his hand moved towards the napkin and shoved it underneath. And
no one saw except for Mulder, who tried to not to look too openly
at the man that deceived his people.
Lunch followed, as it would have done everywhere. The food was
prepared simple but good. There was only water to drink. There was no
selection possible. Everyone received the same food. Everyone emptied
their plate; despite the fact there was more than enough.
At first Mulder was tempted to leave a bit on the plate, but didn't.
He didn't want to arouse suspicion. He was a good, little boy after
all.
Everyone ate in silence. Not a single word was uttered until the
plates were empty. Then a few people spoke to each other but the
conversations were whispered in silence.
Then Dominique rose and asked the three newcomers to follow him.
Surprised the three rose and followed the man up the stairs to the
third floor, and through a large corridor into separately locked
quarters. The leader used a key to unlock two French doors and asked
them to take a seat on white chairs in a small waiting area. The
three took a seat and waited in silence until he returned and
invited the shy young woman in.
The woman seemed surprised that she was the first one to go in, but
followed without questioning. The second pair of doors locked behind
her. Mulder leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes. It
all seemed to so unreal and strange, and far from a good idea.
'What is all this?' Renata suddenly whispered beside him. 'I thought
this would be some sort of resting place, but I feel like I'm in a
cult or something.'
'I don't know,' Mulder responded, liking the woman instantly. Her
bright eyes seemed to be as sceptic as Scully's.
'I'm not so sure that I like what's going on here,' the woman
continued. 'Do you think it would be too late to tell them I changed
my mind?'
'I don't know,' Mulder responded, wondering why an attractive woman
like her would be in a place like this. Little did he know that she
was wondering the same thing about him. 'I think I'm going to hang
around to see what happens next.'
She smiled and offered her hand. 'Renata Lowe.'
'Fox Mulder.'
'Just promise me one thing, Fox,' she said with a conspiracy look in
her eyes, 'the moment I start acting strange, tell me so I can work
on it.'
He laughed, surprised that it felt so good to have a bit of humour in
this place. It was something to cling onto.
A few moments later the meek woman came out and walked past them. She
didn't seem to notice them. Dominique came out and asked Renata to
follow him. The woman winked at Mulder and walked after the leader
into his quarters.
Mulder rose up from his seat and walked over to the barred window. As
he looked outside he saw the others on the lawn. They seemed to be
part of a Victorian novel. They all sat or walked over the lawn. Some
of them were reading. Others just sat there in silence to enjoy the
sun. He watched as the meek woman joined them and sat down as well.
They all reminded him of zombies. Whatever that tablet did or didn't
do, it was probably one of the most dangerous drugs out there to
cause this result. And he knew that soon enough they would be forced
to go the same way.
Mulder thought of the cell phone he had hidden in his room. Before
lunch, they had been given the chance to unpack their belongings. He
hadn't dared to leave the phone in the pocket of his pants. Instead
he had hidden it in a pair of socks in the bottom drawer of the small
closet he received.
Before entering the compound, they had received instructions on how
much stuff they could take with them. One of the specific conditions
had been not to bring books or music. Books were available in a huge
library in the main building, and music played from the stereo system
that could be heard all over the building. Of course modern music
wasn't allowed. All that played was selected, classical
music.
There was no television available in the rooms, but one of the main
halls had a small television room that was open between specific
hours. There would always be a guard available to monitor the program
selection. No violence was allowed.
All of these conditions just added to the sense of seclusion and
isolation. There were no newspapers or means of finding out what was
happening in the outside world. There were no telephones, except for
one in Dominique's office. And the guards all had cell phones to be
in constant touch with each other.
Several times that morning and during lunch, Mulder had wanted to call
Scully and tell her that he was pulling back on his decisions. But he
wasn't a quitter. Looking at the people in this place, it seemed that
they could use a bit of help. At least now he would be able to find
out for himself what was going on in this place.
Dominique most definitely had the best of views on the garden. From
this spot he could watch any activity and see any intruders coming
from afar. Mulder wondered why he had chosen the third floor though.
It would take him some time to go from one end of the building to the
other.
The door opened again. This time Mulder was asked to come in. Renata
Lowe, the woman he had spoken to just a few moments before, now
ignored him as if he didn't exist. She had changed ina few minutes
time.
Dominique waited for him in a white room with a large desk, a cupboard
behind that desk and a table with two chairs. Against the back wall a
white couch was supposed to bring a bit of comfort to the room, but
in fact it just added to the coldness of the room. With the light
furniture and lack of decoration, it seemed to be a doctor's office.
'Fox,' Dominique sat, inviting the man to sit down on one of the
chairs. 'Welcome to 'Salvation Awaits'. I am very happy that you
decided to join us and take this time to get your life in order. I
was doubting for a bit that you would take the step, but I'm glad
that you did.'
'I am happy,' Mulder said with steady voice. 'But it feels strange.
I've never lived with this many people together. I'm not so sure that
I'll be able to fit in.'
'You will get used to that soon enough. Remember that you always still
have your own room left if you want to be alone. You are free to go
wherever you want except for my offices. The doors will always remain
locked. My quarters are on the second floor, just like yours, but
again you are not allowed to go there. That goes for all the rooms.
When in private, everyone should respect everyone's decision to be
alone.'
'I understand that,' Mulder nodded.
'The grounds are large and appealing for strolls. You can compare it
with a small park. Our garden is one of the most beautiful in the
country. You can do whatever you want to feel at home. We support
hobbies and pastimes. If you like to paint or sculpt, we will provide
the materials. And if you want to go in search of one your talents,
we will help you as much as we can.'
Dominique smiled. 'I'm sorry; it sounds like I'm laying down the rules
here. I don't want to chase you away. You are free to go whenever you
want. You are not a prisoner here. If you feel like you don't belong
here anymore, you can leave. But I can guarantee you that no one has
done that ever since I started 'SA'. There's never been a desire to
leave us. I'm very proud of that.'
'I understand,' Mulder said as he relaxed a little bit.
Dominique leaned against the desk and placed a hand on the man's
shoulder. 'You needed help, Fox, and you found it with us.'
Dominique stood up, leaving the desk as he walked to the barred window
and glanced outside at his people. 'As you know, our income exists of
yoga-classes and relaxation techniques. My advice is that you follow
those classes. Soon you will be asked to recruit new people, like you
have been recruited on the square. But that's for the future. Right
now I want you to relax and enjoy.'
Mulder smiled, thinking that this was the end of it. But of course it
wasn't. Dominique put his hand in his pocket and stretched it out
before him, opening it so that Mulder could see a tablet on the palm
of his hand. 'There's one last thing that you need to do before
becoming a member of our community. You need to show me that you mean
what you say.'
'What is this?' Mulder asked, looking at the tablet.
'You already know. Your friends already take these tablets. They're
not drugs, Fox. They're homeopathic products that will help you to
relax a little bit. Everyone that comes in here is so tense and
stressed out that we need to help you a bit when you start out. These
tablets will do that for you. You will feel a lot better.'
'I don't want to feel numb or out of control,' Mulder objected weakly.
'You won't. You've seen all the others. They take those tablets
voluntarily. It makes them feel good about themselves and that's what
they need right now. Every single person out there has been in
trouble one way or another. They all suffered for something that was
beyond their power. I help them as I will help you forget about your
sister's disappearance.'
'I don't want to forget.'
'Yes, you do. Otherwise you wouldn't be here.'
'No, I came here to find peace, not oblivion.'
'The only way you can find peace is by forgetting what has driven you
to this point in time. I know what pushed you in the past, Fox. You
haven't had a life since the day your sister disappeared. You put
your life at stake so many times to find her. Isn't it time that you
stop doing that and start living your own life? Don't you deserve
that much?'
'I do,' Mulder said quietly, 'but I refuse to take these tablets. I
want to be in control.'
Dominique sighed deeply and said, 'Then I'm afraid we don't have
nothing more to talk about, Fox. I ask you to do one thing for me and
you refuse. I cannot help you any longer if you don't scratch my back
for once. But I understand. I'll have Dennis help you pack and
leave.'
'No, wait,' Mulder said weakly, stopping Dominique before he could
open the door. 'Is this the only way I can stay?'
'I'm afraid it is.'
'And they're not drugs?'
'I guarantee it. Why don't you try it out and see what it tells you?
You'll feel fantastic, I swear.'
Mulder took one of the tablets from Dominique's palm. The leader
handed him a glass of water and said, 'Show me your faith, Fox.'
Mulder closed his eyes as he swallowed the pill, knowing what it would
do. But he had no choice. Dominique watched as he drank the water.
Then Mulder opened his eyes again, staring at the cult leader. The
effect was noticeable instantly as the drug entered his bloodstream
and did its job.
Mulder smiled, as the world seemed to become a new place suddenly. The
change was so clear, deep inside of him. He wanted to fight off the
drugs but couldn't. Every worry seemed to be far away; every reason
for existence unimportant. There was just this place and no worry in
the world. Everything outside of this room was another man's worry.
Dominique leaned over, patting him gently on the shoulder. 'I'll take
care of you from now on, Fox,' he whispered, using that voice he had
learned to use so well over the past few years. 'You're mine now and
I'll never let you go.'
Mulder nodded and stood up. Dominique grabbed his arm and guided him
out of the room. 'Why don't you join the others?' the leader said,
leading Mulder to the staircase.
The FBI-agent quietly made his way down. His footsteps were noticeable
on the wooden staircase that had been restored two years ago.
Downstairs he joined the others in the garden, taking a seat on one
of the benches. There was a comfortable silence amongst them.
Dominique glanced through the window at his three new kids. They acted
like they all did. Tomorrow he would know how they would react to the
drugs. Some of them couldn't stand them and became ill. Most of them
went through the motions without too many hassles.
But one thing the drug did for all them of: It never lost its grip on
them. It unwound the toughest of people, and delivered them in his
hands like lambs to the slaughterhouse. And he could do with any of
them whatever he wanted to do. This drug not only controlled them; it
also set their minds open to him. And when he ordered them to do
something for him, they did. Not one of them had ever refused.
The agent had passed the test of faith for now. But it had only just
begun, and the coming days he would keep a strict eye on him. He
would have never let the agent go. Even if he had decided to refuse
those tablets, he would have forced the drugs upon him. He couldn't
allow any of them to leave. For that it was already too late the
moment they walked into his house.
In the middle of the night Mulder woke up with a splitting headache,
lying on the bed in his small, private room. It took him a while to
realize he was at the secluded compound. Before long he realized what
had happened. But he had no recollection of anything that happened
after he had taken the tablet in Dominique's office.
He couldn't remember having dinner. He couldn't remember talking to
any of the others. And he didn't know how he had gotten to his room.
There was just the realization that somehow he had lost half a day of
his life and there was no way of getting that back.
And the worst part was that he would not know if he had betrayed
himself.