Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men unfortunately, they are the property
Marvel. The song for this part is Fear by Sarah McLachlan.
Author's Notes: This is my first ever attempt at an X-men story so I'll understand if you all think it's rubbish. It's sort of an alternate reality thing, my idea of what some of the x-men would be like in our world.
I did intend for this to be a one off piece but it seemed like everyone wanted to get their point of view across so this will now be 3 parts long, with the final part out on Friday, I hope. You can take this anyway you want really, as a continuation of the first part or on its own, whatever you want.
I want to thank everyone who reviewed the last part of this story. Your reaction and reviews were totally unexpected and beyond greatly appreciated. Thank you all so much.
Fear
Morning smiles like the face of a newborn child
Innocent unknowing winter's end
Promises of a long lost friend speaks to me of comfort
But I fear I have nothing to give
I have so much to lose here in this lonely place
Tangled up in your embrace
There's nothing I'd like better than to fall
But I fear I have nothing to give
The singing of the crickets was the only thing that broke the stillness of the summer night. The air was blissfully cool after the wretchedness of the day's heat. The thunderstorm had washed away the warmth but the cloudless sky seemed to foretell more of the same for the next day. She lay beside him in the bed halfway between waking and sleeping listening to his deep breathing and feeling it caress the back of her neck lightly.
The moonlight slipped into their room through a crack in the curtains and threw strange shadows across the floor while adding a silver tinge to some of the furniture. She tossed off the covers and slid out into the unfamiliar room. She wondered again why she had even bothered coming, Remy obviously didn't want her with him and as nice as his parents were to her she still felt out of place.
She sighed gently and dropped into the chair beside the bed turning to watch him sleep. He turned over invading the space that she had occupied minutes before and in that one movement suddenly looked ten times more comfortable. A slow smile crept up his face as a name escaped his lips, the same name she'd heard him whisper in his sleep every night since she'd been with him.
She wondered if there was a set code of conduct you should follow when your lover said another woman's name in his sleep. If there was it was doubtful she was adhering to it. She should have been angry about it, it should bother her but it didn't, not really. It was a fantasy, nothing more, the things he did in reality bothered her a whole lot more, not that she was an angel herself. Neither one of them was innocent in this relationship.
Wind in time
Rapes the flower trembling on the vine
And nothing leads to shelter it
From above
They say temptation will destroy our love
The never ending hunger
But I fear
I have nothing to give I have so much to lose here in this lonely place
Tangled up in our embrace There's nothing I'd like better than to fall
But I fear I have nothing to give
I have so much to lose I have nothing to give
We have so much to lose
She stood and walked quietly around the room running her hand over the heavy, wooden wardrobe liking the way the intricate pattern felt beneath her fingers, admiring the craftsmanship that had gone into it. She caught a glimpse of her reflection as she did so, brown hair, green eyes, clear skin, pretty, or so people said.
She glanced at him once again before she crept from the room. She padded down the long hall and into the kitchen. There was something hauntingly familiar about the brightly painted room with its gleaming workspaces and tightly packed shelves. She always believed there was an assumption that everywhere in the South was the same but nothing could be further from the truth, New Orleans was about as different as you could get from her small home town in Mississippi but this place, this house was achingly similar to her parents'. They even smelled the same, that faint smell of cooking left over from dinner and a smell that she never could define, a parents' smell.
She wandered out on to the porch and looked upward at the moon that shone twice as brightly as it did in the city. She stretched slowly enjoying the feel of the night air on her skin. A slight breeze played gently with her hair as she gazed off into space and thought about what her friend had said to her the day before when she had told her she was back with Remy.
"Again," she had exclaimed, "you guys have been on and off more times than a light bulb. It's getting tired, why do you keep going back to him? You could have anyone you want so why do you stay with him?"
She just didn't understand, nobody did. Remy was the only one who really wanted to be with her. Sure other guys had wanted her, what was on the outside but no one wanted a relationship with her. No one was willing to go deeper than the surface, no one willing to touch anything but her outer layer except Remy. He'd been the only one willing to offer her more, a relationship, love; he was the only one. The only one who had managed to break through her barriers, the only one to really touch her, the only one who'd ever bothered to try.
Sure they kept breaking up and getting back together again but that was her fault as much as his. They both had ideals, fantasies of what they felt love should be or whom it should be with. In ways she envied him because at least his ideal existed, at least it had a basis in reality but all she felt was a vague sensation that there had to be more than this, that there had to be something more out there for her. She held on to that belief though deep down she knew the truth, they both did. There wasn't anything better, there wasn't anything more, this was as good as it got for them both, as good as it ever would get. That was why they broke up so often, she was afraid of that, afraid of what that meant and they got back together because she was afraid too. She was afraid to be alone. Maybe if she was stronger they would be together all the time, maybe if she was stronger they wouldn't be together at all.
Much as she loved Remy, and she did love him, sometimes it felt to her that their relationship was built on fear. That they were too afraid of what they really wanted to go for it, too afraid of getting really hurt so instead they clung to each other like two drowning souls struggling to keep afloat. So what did they really want? Well it was obvious what he wanted. He wanted her, his Stormy, to be with her and she; what did she want? She wanted love, true love, someone that loved her truly, completely, in waking and in sleep. Who spent their days with her and their nights dreaming of her. She wanted to be everything to someone, who was with her because they wanted to be with her more than anything; someone to whom she was first choice not someone they settled for.
She sighed softly leaning out across the porch railing. No one was ever promised a perfect love and a happy ending except in fairy tales. You had to work at relationships and maybe this constant struggle was something everyone went through, maybe it was something everyone was supposed to go through. Maybe the aching heart, confusion and uncertainty were just markers along the way to happiness. Or maybe she was just letting her fear anchor her to her pain, letting it keep her in her unhappy state because she was too afraid to hope, to try for something more.
She glanced once more at the shining moon then turned and returned to the house.
Author's Notes: This is my first ever attempt at an X-men story so I'll understand if you all think it's rubbish. It's sort of an alternate reality thing, my idea of what some of the x-men would be like in our world.
I did intend for this to be a one off piece but it seemed like everyone wanted to get their point of view across so this will now be 3 parts long, with the final part out on Friday, I hope. You can take this anyway you want really, as a continuation of the first part or on its own, whatever you want.
I want to thank everyone who reviewed the last part of this story. Your reaction and reviews were totally unexpected and beyond greatly appreciated. Thank you all so much.
Fear
Morning smiles like the face of a newborn child
Innocent unknowing winter's end
Promises of a long lost friend speaks to me of comfort
But I fear I have nothing to give
I have so much to lose here in this lonely place
Tangled up in your embrace
There's nothing I'd like better than to fall
But I fear I have nothing to give
The singing of the crickets was the only thing that broke the stillness of the summer night. The air was blissfully cool after the wretchedness of the day's heat. The thunderstorm had washed away the warmth but the cloudless sky seemed to foretell more of the same for the next day. She lay beside him in the bed halfway between waking and sleeping listening to his deep breathing and feeling it caress the back of her neck lightly.
The moonlight slipped into their room through a crack in the curtains and threw strange shadows across the floor while adding a silver tinge to some of the furniture. She tossed off the covers and slid out into the unfamiliar room. She wondered again why she had even bothered coming, Remy obviously didn't want her with him and as nice as his parents were to her she still felt out of place.
She sighed gently and dropped into the chair beside the bed turning to watch him sleep. He turned over invading the space that she had occupied minutes before and in that one movement suddenly looked ten times more comfortable. A slow smile crept up his face as a name escaped his lips, the same name she'd heard him whisper in his sleep every night since she'd been with him.
She wondered if there was a set code of conduct you should follow when your lover said another woman's name in his sleep. If there was it was doubtful she was adhering to it. She should have been angry about it, it should bother her but it didn't, not really. It was a fantasy, nothing more, the things he did in reality bothered her a whole lot more, not that she was an angel herself. Neither one of them was innocent in this relationship.
Wind in time
Rapes the flower trembling on the vine
And nothing leads to shelter it
From above
They say temptation will destroy our love
The never ending hunger
But I fear
I have nothing to give I have so much to lose here in this lonely place
Tangled up in our embrace There's nothing I'd like better than to fall
But I fear I have nothing to give
I have so much to lose I have nothing to give
We have so much to lose
She stood and walked quietly around the room running her hand over the heavy, wooden wardrobe liking the way the intricate pattern felt beneath her fingers, admiring the craftsmanship that had gone into it. She caught a glimpse of her reflection as she did so, brown hair, green eyes, clear skin, pretty, or so people said.
She glanced at him once again before she crept from the room. She padded down the long hall and into the kitchen. There was something hauntingly familiar about the brightly painted room with its gleaming workspaces and tightly packed shelves. She always believed there was an assumption that everywhere in the South was the same but nothing could be further from the truth, New Orleans was about as different as you could get from her small home town in Mississippi but this place, this house was achingly similar to her parents'. They even smelled the same, that faint smell of cooking left over from dinner and a smell that she never could define, a parents' smell.
She wandered out on to the porch and looked upward at the moon that shone twice as brightly as it did in the city. She stretched slowly enjoying the feel of the night air on her skin. A slight breeze played gently with her hair as she gazed off into space and thought about what her friend had said to her the day before when she had told her she was back with Remy.
"Again," she had exclaimed, "you guys have been on and off more times than a light bulb. It's getting tired, why do you keep going back to him? You could have anyone you want so why do you stay with him?"
She just didn't understand, nobody did. Remy was the only one who really wanted to be with her. Sure other guys had wanted her, what was on the outside but no one wanted a relationship with her. No one was willing to go deeper than the surface, no one willing to touch anything but her outer layer except Remy. He'd been the only one willing to offer her more, a relationship, love; he was the only one. The only one who had managed to break through her barriers, the only one to really touch her, the only one who'd ever bothered to try.
Sure they kept breaking up and getting back together again but that was her fault as much as his. They both had ideals, fantasies of what they felt love should be or whom it should be with. In ways she envied him because at least his ideal existed, at least it had a basis in reality but all she felt was a vague sensation that there had to be more than this, that there had to be something more out there for her. She held on to that belief though deep down she knew the truth, they both did. There wasn't anything better, there wasn't anything more, this was as good as it got for them both, as good as it ever would get. That was why they broke up so often, she was afraid of that, afraid of what that meant and they got back together because she was afraid too. She was afraid to be alone. Maybe if she was stronger they would be together all the time, maybe if she was stronger they wouldn't be together at all.
Much as she loved Remy, and she did love him, sometimes it felt to her that their relationship was built on fear. That they were too afraid of what they really wanted to go for it, too afraid of getting really hurt so instead they clung to each other like two drowning souls struggling to keep afloat. So what did they really want? Well it was obvious what he wanted. He wanted her, his Stormy, to be with her and she; what did she want? She wanted love, true love, someone that loved her truly, completely, in waking and in sleep. Who spent their days with her and their nights dreaming of her. She wanted to be everything to someone, who was with her because they wanted to be with her more than anything; someone to whom she was first choice not someone they settled for.
She sighed softly leaning out across the porch railing. No one was ever promised a perfect love and a happy ending except in fairy tales. You had to work at relationships and maybe this constant struggle was something everyone went through, maybe it was something everyone was supposed to go through. Maybe the aching heart, confusion and uncertainty were just markers along the way to happiness. Or maybe she was just letting her fear anchor her to her pain, letting it keep her in her unhappy state because she was too afraid to hope, to try for something more.
She glanced once more at the shining moon then turned and returned to the house.